Nah, not for me. Sorry!

P.S. What do I know?:- Rotten Tomatoes 87% Metacritic, 81 out of 100, Best film of 2005 in the Village Voice Film Poll and for Mark Kermode. Empire named the film the 448th greatest film of all-time!

WTF?

Hitman; Agent 47

Did I enjoy 50 shades more than this? Yes I did. I am looking back on it quite fondly, and a 6 seems a bit low, but I am not allowed to change it. I think it is the Last Man Standing indestructability of the protagonists which detracts from the plot. I mean, you are not left thinking that a piano is going to fall on them. Poor old Mance Raider :(.

The Hobbit 1: An Unexpected Journey

A top notch spectacle. I suppose it doesn't get a higher rating because it is a little slim on story arc – not that there isn't one.

The Hobbit 2: Desolation Of Smaug

OK Julia, first things first, this is a very good film. I liked number one more and I just thought this stretched the tale a little too much. I have read the book ten times, so I was always going to be critical.

The Hobbit 3: The Battle of the Five Armies

The must see film for December 2014, it was merely OK, with good shit to watch but not a great story and the characters had already been developed, so ... I really think perhaps two or even one long film would have done for The Hobbit, I don't know if I would have felt differently if I hadn't read the book at least 10 times, and there is no two ways about it, Peter Jackson set the benchmark with Fellowship, but this trilogy just felt as if it were padded out. Game of Thrones gets the distillation of books about right, leaving one wishing for more, excited about the prospects. This doesn't.

The Holdovers

As Christmas films go, this is gentle and appropriate, it could almost be British! I scoff at American films protesting how tough it is to be rich in The ‘States, but this one gets away with it, offering some real insight, into good and bad, into pragmatism and honour.

A Hologram For The King

Well I loved it! It caught me at the end of a great day, so it really would have to have been Walking On Sunshine 2, starring Keith Lemmon for me not to have enjoyed it, nevertheless there were a slew of plusses which would, for me, stand scrutiny.

It seems like the people who made it went all in on Tom Hanks, and the gamble paid off, at least aesthetically. It would have had to be one of the best 100 films I have seen to better Saving Mr Banks. It was a helluva lot more enjoyable than Captain Phillips and that was half decent.

Home

Where do I start? I mean, this was a lovely watch, not entirely my cup of tea, but I would love to take Grace to see it (my two year old niece) in two year's time. I enjoyed Rihanna's contribution, as Tip, the heroine, and soundtrack. O (the alien protagonist) would have been better without me thinking of Sheldon Cooper at his gayest all night. Loved some of the homages, I may be wrong but “A bit of a fixer upper” was a direct lift from Frozen, the musical motif was the six note riff from Tomorrow (from Annie ) and really, was there a nod to the Ultimate Dog Tease?.

Home Alone

Revist to a staple, some might call classic. I watched it in two parts, and, without any doubt, it was the second half which turned it around for me. The church scene was touching, the break-in pure comedy gold. Macaulay Culkin was not that good (yes, I know, he was only two, but I mark these for my enjoyment, not the gratification of his parents), and, well it's a Christmas movie, so it can get away with a deal of hokum! Definitely worth watching once. .

Home Front

Sweet. A variation on the 'Man with No Name', 'quiet stranger', loving father – look, you could write the script, but you didn't, Sylvester Stallone did, and like Cop Land he has made just a great film to watch.

Home Of The Brave

To review

Hook

This must drop in to many 'most underrated' categories. Some of John Williams's finest music, a completely different take on the Peter Pan story without diverging from the original mystery, darkness, comedy and optimism of the original JM Barrie play and book. Dustin Hoffman always gets cited for Rainman, Tootsie, whatever, but in this. The absolutely perfect villain. Eloquent yet paranoid to an absurd degree, I just wish I could go that particular alternate universe where Jack Baur gets his ass kicked by Hook, Hans Gruber and Jim Carey's Riddler working as a team.

Hotel Transylvania 2

Like being forced to watch poor kids TV, albeit with excellent pictures, but just hackneyed characters, and predictable "We love you only if you fit in despite us telling you we love you if you don't" platitude sodden story.

How Green Was My Valley

It was a bit like one of those books you have to read at school, but don't really want to and don't enjoy as much as you should. Altogether too twee, and whearas things like Lassie Come Home and Mrs Miniver tug the heartstrings to breaking point this seems a deal, clumsier? (That's not the right word, perhaps reckless might be a better term) The thing is, it pertains to being right on, it could have been an incredible ecological pioneer, and begins as if it is going to be, but runs out of steam on that thread from the get go. It could be a paen to the working man, but it is unconvincing. It could be an homage to Wales but it is a load of Yanks in a studio with California backgrounds*. It could have been a counterpoint to Goodbye Mr Chips, but it ended up just with a short but total indictment of teachers whilst forgetting the system. Most of all it could be an epic on rational economics but it never actually makes its mind up enough to get started. Its loudest clarion is for that oxymoron sensisible religion, so all in all, I was happy to watch it from the point of cinema history, but I enjoyed my sweet potato fries with coconut and mushroom sauce a deal more. (The food got a 7.7). The Hayes code has got a lot to answer for. I wonder if William Wyler would have done it better?

* Called that before I read it "Fox wanted to shoot the movie in Wales in Technicolor, but events in Europe during World War II made this impossible. Instead, Ford had the studio build an 80 acre authentic replica of a Welsh mining town at Brent's Crags (subsequently Crags Country Club) in the Santa Monica Mountains near Malibu, California.

The cast had one Welsh actor, Rhys Williams, in a minor role."

If you do watch this listen for them all conjugating sentences like Yoda! "How green was my Valley that day, too, green and bright in the sun."

How To Be Single

Left after half an hour. I already know. (How To Be single). I don't doubt that if you like Friends, and have never seen Rebel Wilson in a film before you will like this, but there was nothing new in it for me. Still better than Gone With The Wind!.

How To Train Your Dragon

Why didn't anybody tell me what a good film this was. The trailers to number 2 put me off seeing it, but I have to admit some aspects of this film were as good as it gets. Excellent dialogue, reasonable story, very identifiable characters, brilliant animation, these are good good good.

The Hudsucker Proxy

Bit of a let down after all the other great films by Joel and Ethan Coen.

The Hundred Foot Journey

After watching Pride a couple of hours earlier I was still high and in no real position to judge this objectively. I enjoyed it, but was it because I was in a super mood and pliable to all cinematic suggestion? It may have been you know, because objectively it was a nice story, amusing in places amidst scenery that was too lovely, yet... I dunno. 6.5 still says 'good film', it'll be interesting to compare this to Chef that comes out in a couple of days.

The Hunger Games: 1

A re-watch prior to Mockingjay part 1, The film is interesting enough apart from it just seems to constantly break the rules of its own universe, I mean two arrows then all go to sleep??? Come on. I actually liked it better this time round but some of the things they do are plum ridiculous. I think the fire and the dogs would really piss off some of the punters in capital city who had wagered 48 groats on Katniss success, but ... Here are four parcels which some of you really neeeeed. Oh PS in case you forgot you are trying to kill each other. How sporting of the contestants just to risk life getting their own bag given that as far as we know the other bags were critical to their rivals and could have been easily snatched for little extra risk. Etc.. Fucking barmy.

The Hunger Games: 2 Catching Fire

Made me want to read the third book to by-pass the two parter third instalment. Reasonable Lost meets The Hunger Games 1 . It is better than the first, in that it works within its own universe whereas number one didn't make sense in any imagination I could comprehend.

The Hunger Games: 3 Mockingjay Part 1

Another notch up the scale. I reckon I never really enjoyed the constraints of the first two films once 'the Games' were on. In this third film there are no games therefore it becomes more difficult for the film makers just to invent shit, and, for me, this makes for a much more satisfying film. Do I detect the cast getting better as well, or is it just familiarity?? Now that I have adopted Jennifer Lawrence I realise that her Katniss mode kind of works, the action was good, the story meaty enough, the characters good, the music excellent and all in all it is a perfect set-up for the last instalment without being just that alone. I now officially want a Mockingjay badge.

The Hunger Games: 3 Mockingjay Part 2

How wierd is that. I've just ordered two Mockingjay badges and I like the films even more! Probably the most unimaginative thing I'll ever do in my life is compare this too Maze Runner 2, and it is unfair too, as this is a whole lot classier, with better carachters and a wider definition of story arc. Take some popcorn to get you through the Lord of The Rings ish last 10 minutes, but that is scant criticism for a film which, I am sure, will satisfy for the fan and constitutes a good watch for the completist (I fall into the latter bracket). How did they get all that stuff with Phillip Seymour Hoffman?.

Hunt For The Wilderpeople

Several stars in this film, but the real plaudits go to New Zealand and Sam Neil. It's a buddy movie with superb New Zealand humour and actually not much wrong to spoil the experience. We went all the way to Sheffield to watch this as it was not shown at Cas, and that cinema is a step up from Glasshoughton, and not just because it shows more films. Whatever, this is an excellent companion to Big Game. Watch them both and you'll see what I mean.

The Hurt Locker

I am writing this quite a long time after I've seen the film, and I think I may watch it again as I am beginning to imagine it may have been worth a tad more than I remember

I Origins

Oh really? Well filmed, interesting story which kind of goes nowhere after a while, the dramatis personae are engaging but I was just left thinking that this was a religious film pretending not to be, like a friendly evangelist who leaves you feeling disappointed because its fundamental premise and subsequent conclusions are appealing to believers yet fundamentally repetitive and absolutely flimsy in their assumptions and proofs.

One of the finest books I have read is In The Blink Of An Eye (Andrew Parker, 2003) and it touches, in fact trumps this film by a factor of magnitude close to infinity! God people are annoying, God people pretending they are not are downright dangerous. Agnostics giving hokum credit because it cannot be disproved are subscribing to the most common fallacy trotted out in the sometimes impressive but fundamentally insubstansive Religious arsenal; the celestial teapot. If one believes a teapot orbits the Sun somewhere in space between the Earth and Mars, it is nonsensical to expect others to believe the same on the grounds that they cannot prove one wrong.

It goes back to the first film I watched today, What We Did On Our Holiday Lying.

I Saw The Light

Tom Hiddlestone was really good, the film a little disappointing. I would have preferred to see more music biography and less music. It seemed a little like a hagiography. Shame really :(.

I, Daniel Blake

I do not think I can praise this film and its £8 million budget enough. Without doubt this is the least feel-good film in my top 100. I hear you say "What about Schindler's List?" - Well, this is bleaker, in that Schindler's List offers some redemption for humanity where as this has got a whole lot less. Yes, there are overtly wonderful humans in it, but this is not a past which we want to decry. This is the grinding evil of now, which we all participate in, which we tolerate in 2016. Yes the scale is very different, but in a way this is broader, in that we are all a part of it. David Davis says the film takes all the very worst incidents and threads them into a single narrative, that Daniel Blake is therefore atypical, unrepresentative of his group. I would suggest the only unusual thing about Daniel Blake is that he does not bend so readily as many claimants. The civil servants can be seen in every real world office and heard on every phone line. At the end of A Street Cat Named Bob there is a moment at a book signing when a lad in the queue shouts at the protagonist "I've lived every minute of it" - A cute moment, because that lad is the actual person who the original story was about. With this film, I have not lived every minute of it - but hells bells, I recognise vast swathes of it. If anything the film cannot possibly give the real experience of waiting for an hour on the phone to be cut off when you say "fuck". The most tragic thing is that we will not do anything about it, I mean you'll go to town about some FaceBook post where I say "like a pussy", and ban me for life from a quiz league for using the term "retarded lunkhead", but really, tomorrow morning you'll be hopping in your car to splash Daniel and Haley and her kids, and if they ever have the cheek to occupy a tiny bit of your space (of which you are granted five times more than they are) you will just kill em and go "Oh, I'm so sorry, he just stepped out without warning".

A brilliant, disturbing, sometimes hilarious, film. I only wish your thoughts could be provoked enough to realise your contribution.

Ice Age 5: Collision Course

I would love Martin Pampel to watch this and highlight all the references/rip offs, from Chuck Jones Road Runners. That is a compliment, the gag timing was excellent. Apart from that it had the audience giggling, if not even guffawing, and I found it kind of watchable. I would suggest that unashamed lack of science is a more noble aspect of filming than pretence to it (I am thinking of The Good Dinosaur here), and although i find these things sometimes irksomely cutie, I think that may be my cynicism, I mean, there are only so many tricks in the storyteller's bag, and I guess one might become inured to some of them. There are plenty worse films for you to take your kids to see.

The Imitation Game

Absolutely super super film. It doesn't get a 10 because I didn't think it delved into the sceptre of human badness regarding 'sexual deviants' enough. Most people who voiced an opinion in the day thought gays should be castrated and were disgusting even though, it seems in Alan Turing's case, he never hurt a fly. Of course that wouldn't happen nowadays would it? Would you?

Whatever, the film was a masterpiece, a fantastic yarn, compelling protagonists (my voice is getting higher now) a historical background, Alexander Desplat Music and great performances. Benedict Cumberbatch should be a slam dunk for the best actor. I'm off to put a bet on him now! If I had to rate films on enjoyment (which I do) the two best films of the year both are messages for tolerance, with Pride edging it. If I had the rate films on value they would still be the two best, but I'd give this one 10.5 and the edge.

In Bruges

This turned out good! Laid back hilarious, brilliantly acted by all participants decent story. I didn't really know what to expect but what I got was an x rated First Loves type film, in which the two hit men, despite doing terrible things are completely endearing. Makes me want to visit Belgium.

This is a rare bird in that I have to up its score by 1/2 after I watched it for the second time. I AM going to Belgium. I realise now that there is a great deal of Withnail in this film.

In The Heart Of The Sea

Ok, for an 'Epic', I guess we are used to perfect backgrounds, but the fact that this looks quite TV Star-Trekky, especially for the first half hour with, what appeared to be, a quite obvious, rendered canvas representing Nantucket, but that is small complaint for a film where a lot of the at-sea imagery was colossal and convincing, the cast quite compelling and a fucking good old yarn that captivated for the full two hours. I'm saying, unlike some other Epics (Exodus G&K, Noah, Mad Max FR spring to mind) this actually would have stood up as a tale to be told around a campfire (Actually, Noah would have been better left as a tale round the campfire!). I'm impressed.

If I were gay I would be gay for Chris Hemsworth.

In The Heat Of The Night

Well it was good and dated. Doing a film about racism was always going to be a little clumsy in 1967, this is just being a tad too right-on, and like many films depicting isms it falls a little short of the full picture by illustrating some human goodness on each side. As this stands Virgil Tibbs has to 'win-over' everybody, not a single Missispian shows any intuitive rationality, and though I wasn't there I know there would have been many good people in Sparta, Mississippi. I reckon Sidney Poitier over-acts a tad, but Rod Stieger worth the Oscar? Yup

In The Heights

Why am I not giving this a 10? I feel that would be disrespectful to Hamilton, Rent, Wicked, Frozen, my goodness though I was choking in places. An absolutely beautiful film with fantastic music and a super attractive cast. I wonder if it helps if you love Hamilton? This is a particularly good example of a film that I watched between 2017 and 2025, had not written about, pretty much forgotten most of it, knew I loved, and ergo was a pleasure to watch again and collate my thoughts. Outstanding choreography that puts Busby Berkley to shame with that swimming pool scene, and some incredible, adventurous cinematography.

Click Click Boom next!

The Inbetweeners Movie

Nearly, very nearly, a 'good' film. It had a lot to live up to with the T.V. Series, and did not just quite get up to that high standard. Having said that, once you have got over your reservations of the 'Brits abroad 24 hour party people portrayal' and Jay being incredibly annoying (he is meant to be, so I guess that's not really fair of me), it has its moments. Some of the gross out humour was a little untidy but whatever, if you loved the TV program, you will like this, and Simon Bird (Will) does get the best lines and delivers them really well. Simplistic but fun.

The Inbetweeners 2

Now this was good. Terrific writing well acted and funny as fuck. With a decent thread of story as well. Some jokes stand repetition and this just worked for me. Wills soliloquy about Ben was an absolute stone dead masterpiece, in the bracket of Ricky Gervais's rant in the Christmas Extras .

Inception

I might have enjoyed this more under different circumstances. The first time I saw it I didn't 'get it' at all. I really think since I have been concentrating on films I enjoy and understand them so much more, not least because I readily recognise and keep track of the cast. I got it absolutely this time, but after all the hype wasn't completely knocked out. Millions of people would rate it higher, but I thought the story was a little overshadowed by effects and there was no carachter I was absolutely drawn too, even though the stellar cast were pleasing on the eye.

The Incredibles

A well cooked recipe, with, at the time, ground breaking graphics, and a relatively long animation which endears one to half a dozen characters. Pixar are so awesome

Independence Day: Resurgence

OK if you like this kind of thing. The whole principle is back to front and the stupid triumphalism is so playgroundy. Geoff Goldblum gets on my tits and Liam Hemsworth has done so much better. I guess it could have been worse. I stayed 'till the end, which it probably did not merit, and I have forgotten it already!.

Indiana Jones 1; Raiders Of The Lost Ark

I know.. just an Eight. What what, you may ask, this is a classic. I agree absolutely, seminal scenes and dialogue, few films have carved a greater impact into the public consciousness. It is an absolute must see, but after the rolling rocks and the hats and the doors and the snakes and the music (and what superb music) it is still just a ripping yarn albeit a good one.

Indiana Jones 2; The Temple Of Doom

Most people would disagree with making this the best of the four, well, that's cool, I can understand. I would cite the first 15 minutes of this film as encapsulating the movie experience. The best opening quarter of an hour which then, like a mountain stream reaching a valley bottom, slows down to let a narrative take over, yielding the strongest story arc of the four films, along with the best support, as both Willie Scott and Short Round are credible and prominent parts. I guess this is the most satisfying ending of the quartet as well (Spoiler Alert: We all like a happy ending).

Indiana Jones 3; The Last Crusade

As TTOD had a great start, this films closing credits are run over the perfect finish to a film. Its not Rocket science. This has the funniest lines of the four India Jones films, ("No Ticket!") and err..

Indiana Jones 4; Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

Not as bad as most people would have you believe. Amusingly self referential late sequel that acknowledges the shortcomings bought about by age and rehashing of old ideas. If you don't want swashbuckling adventure, grizzled exasperated looks, unbelievable pickles and incredible escapes along with protracted chases and fights go and watch 50 First fucking Dates.

The Infidel

Great idea, or at least a cool variation of the Trading Places trope. Omid Djaliliilays a very becoming role which has fun with the concept, illustrates some obvious “what ifs” but somehow fails in the end, by justifying religion, rather than delivering the coup de grace which it could, and should, have done with ease. The end veers into the “oh really?” bracket (that is a negative criticism, BTW).

The Infiltrator

Brian Cranston does Narcos well gnarly. This is a true story, but as a tale it stands up, especially towards the end where it edged a few extra points for me. I think the author had a genuine love of his mate. Was that the bloke who plays Escobar the bloke who plays Escobar?

I have to mention that the trackBrothers On The Slide was written by my late brother-in-law, Julian Chapman. Way to go brother! :(.

Inherent Vice

I am not qualified to review this film, as I was late for it and nodded off several times. I don't think that was the fault of the film, as everything was engaging about it, but just lack of attention on my part, and a reasonably complex thread was not conducive to true appreciation. I will watch it again and am sure I will love it! I enjoyed what I saw, with a cool cast and great dialogue.

Inside Llewelyn Davis

I hate just giving this 5, but it was pretty ploddy, not particularly funny, and if I want music I'll buy the album. Perhaps when I read some explanations I'll sway, but it was just a nice way to pass two hours at the pictures, without being a see again. I wonder if Crazy Heart was the same, 'cos when I saw on Telly it wasn't worth sticking with, and you kept waiting for something to happen but it never did.

Inside Out

I have exited cinemas before wondering “Is that the best film I have ever seen (Fellowship, Titanic)?". This is different, not least because it is only after 48 hours that that thought has begun nagging me more and more. I feel reluctant to address it, like somebody who won’t tell somebody you love ‘em for fear of rebuttal. Have I got it wrong? Is just emotion?

I am reasonably sure this is an absolute masterpiece, but not a masterpiece of singular visions, be it Frank Capra, John Landis or Robert Zemekis etc.; no, this has the feel of a work of collaboratory genius; the story seems completely original, the rendering is absolutely, stunningly, breathtakingly perfect, the characters are just, just nailed, each one multi-faceted yet completely endearing, The concept is brilliant, the sub threads devastatingly surprising, and, to top it all, the science! Look, I know dick about the way brains work, but I left this film feeling totally convinced that I had gleaned some insight. Tell me it’s wrong! Many films are accoladed as being for children with subtle adult themes. I think this may go a step further in catering for the adult who has lost his inner child, in that although the picture is infantile (in the nicest sense of the word), if one cuts through the cutesiness, we have a challenging proposition to ponder without being burdened by esoteric complexity.

I rarely use the bookmakers. Last year I had one bet. Birdman to win the best film Oscar at 9/2, a fifty pound wager that ended up paying for this year’s Unlimited ticket. This year it is £14.10 (maximum bet) at 16/1 for this being the first animated film to win best picture.

I went to watch it again a fortnight later. I am happy with my bet!

You will go and watch the film after reading this and be immediately disappointed after reading this hagiography. You will say that Toy Story, and Up, and Shawshank Redemption and.... blah blah blah were all much more enjoyable. Can’t fault you for that, you may well be right. That’s the thing you see, I’m still thinking about this one... shit, I thought I woke up in my old house at Carleton Road the morning after I watched this film and could not orientate myself to the reality of where I actually was, and I guarantee you, it was because of this peak of human creation.

Wasn't even nominated for the best film Oscar, Spotlight won. That was really good. Inside Out was better. By a distance.

The Insider

These films crop up from time to time. True story, regular guy takes in the man.

Interstellar

I liked this. Yes, there were criticisms that might be levelled, but one gets your money's worth, on this three hour 'epic'. A catch-all 7, which surprised me 'cos I imagined that I would either love it or hate it, given the hoo ha that has pervaded the media about it. I do think that arty critics struggle with science films, and it did seem that opinion was very divided on it, nevertheless I am kind of ambivalent. It was a good yarn, well made and I would definitely say it was worth sharing the cost of a ticket on Orange Wednesday. Matt Damon does look like Mark Wahlberg, especially in this film, for which I would put him in the mix for best support.

The Interview

9 Definite 9. I mean there were sequences in this when I was giggling uncontrollably. I loved James Franco doing comedy in Your Highness, yet he strikes me as the kind of actor who might annoy you trying to be funny, but if I could buy a TV channel it would feature Dave Skylark (and Ron Burgundy and co, of course). Eminem... WHAT??? The thing is, the cast were great, 4 people who you absolutely wanted to know more about and the story, though a comedy was captivating. They didn't need all the hype for this, it would always have been a classic, and no doubt the source for dozens of quotes over the next 30 years. Watch it.

Into The Woods

This is a brave call from Disney.

I think a lot of little princesses are going to have nightmares about it.

I think more could have been done with the story, and there is such a list of characters that, for me, I would have liked to have known more about them, and 124 minutes did not allow anything but a couple of scenes for some of them. Each and every cast member acted, sang and moved perfectly. I know it seems a bit obvious that that is what should happen, but James Corden was excellent, Chris Pine and Emily Blunt were weird to watch singing but it worked. There was some funny humour but there was lots of dark discordance in the music and the film, no end of unhappy endings and characters who were realistic in that they were genuinely flawed, they all did bad stuff.

Definitely Broadway as well, as you feel like clapping at the end of the numbers!

This is definitely not a film for 8 year olds, but it is a very thought provoking watch for people who have grown out of Disney and want something a little more challenging. Worth a watch, but don't expect Happy Working Song, cos it ain't gonna happen!

Intolerable Cruelty

To review

The Iron Giant

Brad Bird’s first film, produced by Pete Townshend!! Written by Ted Hughes and not done at Disney. WONDERFUL. I went to see this the day after Finding Dory, and much as I was entertained by the 2016 film, it is this, from 1999 which is hands down the best film currently at the flix. Kids were crying with fear, crying with sorrow, it had a feel of a cross between a 90s Disney animation and a Laika production, it did not hold back, it shows what a terrific story telling medium animation can be. It used a few clichés, but delivered them perfectly. I loved it.

Iron Man

Enjoyable in a Marvel way. I went back to this to review it, I suppose to compare it with CA TWS, and for kind of the same story, the latter film does it better. All four main characters tend to grate just a little bit. Not enough to stop one enjoying the movie, just enough to imagine there is just too much smugness floating round to allow immersion and identification.

Iron Man 2

To review

Iron Man 3

These Marvel films do tend to merge and i forget actually how many points I should really give them. I certainly could not watch this kind of film at the expense of all others, nevertheless it is an entertaining night in, I suppose if I was deep into the cannon it may be quite challenging. You more or less know what to expect with these.

Irrational Man

This could have been even more disappointing if I had know it was Woody Allen who wrote and directed it. It was, pretentious, unbelievable at the basest of levels, and quite frankly annoying to the extent that it slid from a 6 to a 4.5 by the time I left. The dialogue was something like this... " Blah blah blah the women you have shared experiences with" " The women I have slept with" At that moment I started thinking about leaving, the thing is I know little about Kierkegaard and Sartre and Heidegger, but I do know that being blunt in the face of a euphemism by replacing it with another one is just lame.

Can I describe the lamest dinner part ever? Your daughter cheats on her decent boyfriend, repeatedly lying to him, and ends up with the new lecturer who is twice her age and an alcoholic, so a week later you invite him to dinner and treat him like an old friend. That's not all. You then start talking about the death of a judge, then consider the hypothesis that it was a murder, Then more or less boil it down to how it was done. Oh COME ON!!!.

It Happened One Night

I am very glad I watched this for many reasons. Primarily it is a great film with a good, if not totally unpredictable story, and characters which now matter how reluctant I was, drew me in and engaged me!

Pertinently, for me, was an insight into film making in the 1930s – don't forget that there may have been people still making silent movies recently to this, yet the sound quality, in terms of soundtrack, effects and dialogue are, through my headphones on a lap top as good as you get nowadays. The film quality is as good as (you don't notice it's not in colour, and though I expected something that appeared 'primitive', it was not. It stands up on its own as a bit of solid entertainment.

My second favourite film, It's A Wonderful Life was directed by Frank Capra, as this was, and it dawned on me., why have I not watched more of his? Give me a couple more, but it seems he is a master story teller.

I know now another reason why I didn't like Gone With The Wind ; By the time he made it Clarke Cable was thoroughly pissed off with the Rhett Butler character which in this film he delivers with freshness and genuine comedy.

Yes, many things are dated, but suggesting you should whack women once a day, smoking everywhere and drinking away your sorrows does conjure up an imagination of a less complicated society, which in a way is entertaining, though not deliberately!

The film was the first to win all five major Academy Awards (Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenplay)

It's A Wonderful Life

You can't get me to say this is not in my top three all time films.

Actually you can. I looked at my diary for early 2012 and it was omitted from my top 10, because all I wanted for Christmas was to watch this film with my family. It had been the toughest five months of my life, on teaching practice with a tutor who hated me, surrounded by teachers and living 200 miles away from the ones I love, and do you know what? I was on my own. I hadn't been horrible, we had a great day and I was left in the room watching it on my own. I had watched Toy Story 3 earlier in the day, and I was just so looking forward to this. I know that Angela's excuse "I don't watch films twice" was a complete, utter, demonstrable out and out fucking lie. I know that going out for a smoke is not preferable to the worst film in the world. Fuck, behind every great man there is a great woman, so what about the miserable losers. Who takes the credit there?

If one of your children got cancer would you continue to smoke?

Jack Reacher

Once you have swallowed that Tom Cruise is six foot eight, hard as fuck and has perfect memory, this is quite an enjoyable film! Yeah, I must admit, one can get bored with fights and car chases, but … very solid 7.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

I could fully understand that people might take umbrage at Tom Cruise being so super Macho. It's ridiculous, I know, but it is one of those films where I want to say to haters "Well what the hell did you expect"

I think you can imagine what this film is going to be like! I enjoyed it.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

Reasonable action movie, everybody plays their parts and the goodies win. Who is the best Jack Ryan? Baldwin, though Chris Pine is perfectly good in this. Wish he had had a couple of flaws though.

Nonso Anozie plays the part of the heavy who attempts to assassinate Jack in his hotel room. Who the devil did he play that I recognise. Wiki wiki wik.... Ah, of course, Xaro Xhoan Daxos from Game Of Thrones . How TF did he escape?.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

What would you expect? Funny as fuck, the child star is uber cool (he was in The Fighter ). You could write a review of this without seeing it, and 7.5 was always going to be a slam dunk of a prediction.

Jackie

I always maintain that a historical drama, biography or such like will always get an extra point, and, of course, why make an histircal drama unless the topic is fascinating. This film strikes me as pretty dull. Not only is it unspectacular it lives in the shadow of JFK and that is a damned long and dark shadow. I don't know how good Natalie Portman's interpretation was, but it makes Jaqueline Kennedy seem a litle retarded, Diana Spencerish. And it doesn't go anywhere. It was, in retrospect, lucky to get a 6.7, but I did, I suppose, learn maybe something from it. God knows what though! (NB Billy Cruddup is very watchable indeed).

James Bond 8; Live And Let Die

Ah, this is why I stopped watching James Bond films. The sex is imaginary, the action laughable, the one liners have the humour of a Radio phone-in, I forgot what the story was, the carachters all ridiculous and the racial stereotypes extraordinarily poor. It was poor in Gone With The Wind it was poor in 12 Years A Slave, but this is like the fumblings of an unworldly 14 year old who hasn't grasped the border between irony are immaturity. It fills me with dread to sit through more like this

Does anybody make condensed versions?.

James Bond 9; The Man With The Golden Gun

I watched half an hour of this, but I doubt if I'll do anything more than fast forward through the rest of it. The passages seem so protracted.

James Bond 18; Tomorrow Never Dies

How long has it taken me to watch this film? Well I'm glad I did. Don't expect anything but ridiculous innuendo and overtime for stuntmen as Piers defeats an absolutely potty English Megalomaniac super-villain who aims to further his ends in the most ridiculously inefficient, convoluted and entertaing way imaginable.

James Bond 19; The World Is Not Enough

How long has it taken me to watch this film? Well I'm glad I did. Don't expect anything but ridiculous innuendo and overtime for stuntmen as Piers defeats an absolutely potty Kasak Megalomaniac super-villain who aims to further his ends in the most ridiculously inefficient, convoluted and entertaing way imaginable.

James Bond 23: Skyfall

Great start. The start is up there with great starts. But then... I've done something I've not done yet, and retain the option to alter this review, but I haven't finished watching the film yet. It's just got drawn out far too much in that middle third. Judy Dench and Token I find annoying, but I did like the new Q.

James Bond 24; Spectre

These are so, so, much better than most of the earlier films, but they seem more a collection of magnificent set pieces than a coherent story. I definitely reckon Christoph Waltz was underutilised, almost seeming to parody himself. He is more convincing in Big Eyes where, as always, he essentially plays the same part. Worth the watch, but on review, for all their magnificence and huge budgets, neither of the two films I saw today, this and Pan, were more enjoyable than Locke, which was Tom Hardy sat in a car.

The Jane Austen Book Club

Cannot really judge this as I gave it half an hour and thought 'no'. I don't know Jane Austin and it looked to be all females and I think it wqs meant to be funny, but I'll leave the review to somebody else. Watched Erin Brockovich instead. Good call!.

Jason Bourne

Well you get lots of bangs for bucks here. Normally bangs for bucks is a metaphor for good return on investment, but in this case I mean it literally! Apparently Matt Damon has less than 300 words in the whole film, but I wouldn’t have noticed. The action was an end in itself, and they didn’t call the bad guy Reg or Olav or anything like that, he was “the asset”. It was good action, but not good enough to rate this as more than adequate; for the fan it may have been more of a trip.

Jaws

I actually may have been influenced to up my score by the AFI 100 films list which has this mid table. It doesn’t seem to know if its a comedy or a thriller or a horror, and ends up being a let’s see what all the fuss is about. I know I’ve seen it before, there is probably a review here already, but.. I actually can’t remember it being that brilliant even then. Robert Shaw seemed like he’d come straight off the skiff taking him down the River Thames in A Man For All Seasons as Henry 8th.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

I am that senile I cannot remember if I enjoyed this even more, or less the first time around. Have I gained wisdom over the last decade? Have my critical faculties been honed to a higher level, of does my head keep on disappearing further up my own arse? I choose wiser. I may be wrong.. So..

This is a deal more puerile than I remember - but that is not a disaster, much of it is absolutely hilarious and most of it is pretty funny. The cast list is amazing, and the culture references come as thick and fast as you could envisage, so, I would guess that you a part of the ViewaskewUniverse, this is a welcome addition to the canon, but I can understand somebody scratching there heads and turning to something different. Stoner comedy consisting of dick and fart jokes, but thankfully avoiding the titillating sex angle that can, for me, distract from a film (not that Shannon Elizabeth and co. are not super hot.

Jay Kelly

A quiet, yet remarkable movie which could have been called The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, in that it was a reflection of a famous actor whose career and self struggles in a post midlife crisis. Was it a comedy, was it a dad story? It wasn't Hail Caesar, but I feel that George Clooney and the film itself, I hope, that it will get recognition. What a cast, Jim Broadbent two nights in a row, and even Stath from Stath Lets Flats was on the train. Was one of the musical motifs Here's To The Ones Who Dream from La La Land?

No matter, a good night in, quite a lovely film.

Jersey Boys

Life is enhanced by life! I say this because I reckon that seeing this show only a couple of months ago, and then discovering the film was to be made and released, then actually watching it, has all jumbled up the pleasure of the story. Like the show, it is such good material that it would have been difficult to make a bad film about the subject. It complements the show though. Yes, there are repeat scenes, but not anything like enough to make it a copy. Omissions include Beggin' and the full version of Who Love's You (The latter being peculiar as it is the last number in the film proper). I think the mix on Can't Take my eyes Off You is overdone for the sax, but it is a great production number. Like 22 Jump street, the closing roll is a great touch. I found the Bobs very endearing, Erich Bergen (Gaudio) was very impressive, especially, if he did his own singing. I've never been a bug fan of the voice of Frankie Valli, nevertheless, Lloyd Young nails it, and might get a nomination for his performance, though I think critical disapproval of the film in general may weigh against him.

Jersey Girl

To review

JFK

Woah, woah woah woah woah. First let's put the playing fast and loose with history thing to bed. Oliver Stone from the get go has said that the story is a "counter-myth" to the Warren Commission's "fictional myth." That's what story tellers do. The criticism comes from an America that had the Hayes code for 30 years, that had McCarthyism, that has got Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton as contenders to lead the most powerful nation in the world and Trump is officially the most honest! It is NOT a documentary, but it is film making at its absolute finest, giving us a banquet of food for thought, yet gripping and watchable with actor after actor giving us somebody else too watch in a Game Of Thronesesque tableau of complexity with compulsion. Costner's courtroom summary, let alone Donald Sutherland, is 15 minutes of the finest monologue recorded, and the implications are so totally relevant that the only conclusion one must adopt is either accountability will prosper or we are all doomed. And accountability is not prospering.

"The sixth and fatal shot, Frame 313, takes Kennedy in the head from the front. This is the key shot. The President going back and to his left. Shot from the front and right. Totally inconsistent with the shot from the Depository. Again, back and to the left.

Back and to the left.

Back and to the left.

Back and to the left."

Jobs

I read that this is not quite to perfect piece of history. It was a film I enjoyed a lot. The thing is, I always maintain apple products are just beautiful, but for their incompatability, e.g. (specifically) mp3s, therefore since I dropped an iPod on the floor of that pub in Ledsham have not bought into their products. I consequently feel a bit of resentment for people who do, I want to say "just don't buy them until they at least make their content esaily transferable, then by all means knock yourself out and go totally mac". Well that's not gonna happen, but with Steve Jobs you have this rare bird - a man who combines superb design skills, with total belief and the new clothes skills of the most compelling snake oil salesman. The thing is - he has a great, if not best, product, but he markets it with that drive normally reserved only for the useless. Whatever - back to the film. I cannot assess the veracity of it, but Jobs himself is certainly not monochrome, he is full of real ground breaking and shaking positives and truly horrible negatives, which leads me to imagine that the makers have tried to present a broad, inclusive picture of him. They do what story tellers do, I missed a bit of dialogue, many of the carachters seemed to be camoflaged amongst themselves, there was a little too much boardroom for me and not enough iPod and iphone, despite which, it was a quite practically captivating, with emotionally attractive parts, and is the kind of thing I could watch all the live long day. It is, when you think about it, a helluva story.

John Carter

After an hour of stop-start watching, Jake said he was off, I tried another 5 minutes and thought "feck it". The thing is, it looks like one of the most expensive films ever made, but that is about it in terms of praise. I actually was not interested, not eager to see what happened next and just because it had a huge budget shouldn't mean I have to see it out. The science was poor. I know full well that it is lame to criticise a film on the ground that there is no noise in a vacuum, but the gravity thing? That was variable!, unrealistic in any context. It felt unrealistic, that was a huge bugbear. Magic bable juice? Magic flying? Super dooper destroy at a touch or at a distance weapons yet they all go for hand to hand fighting? It went to far to suspend the disbelief. It felt wrong, and it was wrong. I feel bad 'cos Andrew Stanton will definitely fall out with me. :(.

America's Prince: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story

One of those made for TV biopics that is satisfying enough in terms of historical content (I hope) and not such a total hagiography. I must look to see how much this film cost to make. Enjoyable, but I'm spoilt nowadays.

Johnny Mnemonic

Always seems a little unfair to rate a film without watching it all the way through, but both the film and Reeve's acting were too dated, too clunky, to risk the full two hours, so off it went in favour of richer pickings. Tell me if I have got this one wrong, come round for a beer and talk me through it. NB "Reeves's performance in the film earned him a Golden Raspberry Award nomination for Worst Actor".

Joker

I keep saying it. I KNOW I have watched this before, but it was new to me today. It’s not really a feel-good film, I wasn’t happy for a single second of it, but… it is magnificent. Thought-provoking, nihilistic, Acutely perceptive, a cry, a scream, a resignation, a reflection on us all. Surely Joaquin Phoenix got a best actor? I mean he must have brutally starved himself to get into that shape, and his performance made his Commodus seem like the model of charitable sanity. Phew. Who lives who dies who tells your story? What a brilliant re-imagining of what made Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger tick? Here we are given an insight into what might have happened, we have only ever heard the newspapers version of events. Was Penny truly mad or was she gaslit? What parts of this were Arthur’s imagination? Brilliant. Respectful to the cannon. Does Hannah Goss look like Margo Robbie?

Joy

A solid watch of a film, with Jennifer Lawrence carrying one through the duller bits, and David O Russell delivering a film which was more frustrating than fulfilling. Julia said she wished it hadn't been based on a true story, and I am very much coming 'round to her way of thinking, as I can't help thinking, in retrospect that Joy was just a bit too good to be true (the person, not the film).

The Judge

Sometimes a little mushy, occasionaly funny with the odd surprise. Robert Downey Junior never seems quite serious enough, but Robert Duvall is awesome. Considering my penchant for daddy films I guess this is a low score, yet it was enjoyable enough. Nice Thomas Newman soundtrack, The story reasonable, and I can't stress how that Judge stole the show. Him or Dominic West for Best Supporting Actor.

The Jungle Book (2016)

Disappointing. Not terrible by any stretch of the imagination, and if CGI is what your looking for, I have never seen better, but... When Disney did the original cartoon I went to the cinema five times in the week it was on. But we are not here to talk about the original, with it's absolutely everlasting songs in their definitive versions, the superb casting of Sterling Holloway, Phil Harris, Sebastian Cabot, George Sanders and Louis Prima, the mesmerising emotions, innocent and simple philosophy and timeless humour.

Like Pan, this didn't need doing. And Shere Kahn was right all along.

Jupiter Ascending

I don't like religion. It seems obvious to me that it is absolute cockameeme bullshit, and that in any species that develops the level of intelligence that we have it is an advantage to one's genes (to believe in a unseen deity). I'm glad this film came along, as although not conclusive proof of my neutrality, I could not help but compare this to Exodus, Gods and Kings and Noah, and thinking they are much of a muchness, full of bangs crashes and hoards, but thin on narrative and an engaging population. That is, I didn't diss the biblical epics because of the God factor, they were just, plain, not brilliant. As was this. Channing Tatum will not win an Oscar for this.

Jurassic Park 3

Passable sequal, lacks the originality, story, surprise, and soul of the first one. If I had been watching it by myself I probabbly wouldn't, but it is funny being alongside somebody. Sam Neil is so cheesy it infected the rest of the cast.

Jurassic World

The burning question is, how does this film stack up against 1, 2 and 3? At a rough guess (memory fades) precedence would go 1 (outstanding and original), 2 (funny), 4 and 3. Although a pleasant enough watch it doesn't really bring anything new to the table (My favourite aspect was the, still brilliant, musical motifs). Perhaps I am becoming inured to action movies, but this is all that is. The kids are quite annoying (weren't they always?) The dinosaurs are only as impressive as those from over two decades ago, and the owners of the island are every bit just as stupid. I enjoyed the film, but it did not make my life more complete. My daughter is in love with Chris Pratt, so I'll give him a tick. He is definitely an improvement on Sam Neill.

Jurrasic Park

To review

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

To Review

K Pop Demon Hunters

Write reviews within 24 hours! Julia told me to watch this. I did. And I know why she told me to watch it. Who knows what the next step in Cinema is going to be, but this is cutting edge with technically perfect production, and music that is going to push buttons for billions, myself included. Myself I feel guilty. I did not enjoy it more than School For Scoundrels, yet look at it. Everything is good, including story and characters, but how can you compare Golden (9 weeks at #1 in the UK chart and counting) with The Slow Train? AI ensures that maximum traction is gained from production. I think I may be snobbish, but I am imperfect, and crave that in the world around me. And I don’t know if that is right or wrong.

The Karate Kid (2010)

Non Watcher. Got turned off by the thought of Jaden Smith being the new aristocracy.

The Karen Carpenter Story

Like Saving Mr Banks, the makers of this film had a great soundtrack to work with. As a music fan it didn't tell me a great deal of what I didn't already know, but I would certainly recommend it to any music loving kids who want an insight into what was, for me, the greatest white female voice in my lifetime so far.
You never know how much is glossed over with these films, but I imagine that this goes just far enough without being judgemental, Unlike The Grace Kelly story which doesn't go far enough.

Keanu

I saw four films today and this was the stand-out one. So, so much more fun than Ghostbusters, it has everything, car chases, posturing, buddies, redemption and a cute little kitten. Loved it!.

The Keeper

Partt of a Segal double header, I had forgotten the name of both of them within the few days that have elapsed, yet I could kind of watch these with a friend most nights.

Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!

As always, Michael Sheen is immense. From a history perspective this BBC ‘play’ is illuminating. But what a thoroughly uncomfortable watch. I have never once found Kenneth Williams funny, and this film perhaps has shed some light upon that. Ew! An 80 minute sermon of tragedy, summed up by his last diary line: "Oh, what's the bloody point?". A barrel of affectation, duplicity, false morality, cognitive dissonance and nothing, IMHO, funny. And that’s from the rest of the ensemble! Perhaps Andy De Emmony has done a fantastic job, I think he did.

I compared this too Mr Burton; Richard Burton had talent. Some people think Kenneth Williams did. I just don’t see it. But, what I really want to explore is the bonds between this and Joker, which I re-watched two days ago. Stellar performance from a lead actor who lost a couple of stones. ‘Comic’ protagonist who feels failure. Insanity. Unhealthy mother son relationship. Non existent father relationship. Mannerisms. Cutaways to scenes in the protagonist’s mind which are difficult to differentiate from the in-universe reality. It’s the same film. Except this is biographical. Meh – whatever!

Kes

100% on Rotten Tomatoes, In my mate Keith's top 3, and I can see why. As Julia pointed out it's not so much a story as a snapshot. It's a film which I have never seen, and it didn't let me down. I am not sure but I think a lot of it may have been Ken Loach saying hey, this is how stupid we all are.

Kick Ass

All the right ingredients, put together in the right order, some breathtaking moments, but all in all, the whole is more than the sum of it's excellent parts. Especially pleasing to think of sanctimonious cunts getting offended by Hit-Girl's language.

Kick-Ass 2

Pleasantly surprising that though this film wasn't Kick-Ass is still kicked-ass, quite seriously so. Some of the surprise had been used up in the first film, nevertheless the juxtaposition of violence and comedy was fresh enough, great Mean Girls homage, Jim Carey is unrecognisable apart from one flash of a look, the whole film kind of does what it says on the packet.

Seriously, is Christopher Mintz-Plasse actually Aubrey Plaza?.

Kill Your Darlings

Intresting enough biopic, the revelation of this film (along with an intresting enough story and cast) was Daniel Radcliffe, who is now, after this, a really good actor. The whole film was quite brutally gay, nevertheless, I guess it had to be said, and if Radcliffe wanted to break out of Harry Potter he has done it as well as I could imagine anybody carrying off the part.

Kill Your Friends

You know, From the reviews I expected this to be a lot worse. It was actually very funny and quite intriguing, with an absolutely hatefull list of carachters and a very unpleasant view of London and the music industry. I can't give anything away, but listen and watch for Steven's reaction to the "You might as well" advice from Parker-Hall.

Funnily disgusting.

The Killing$ Of Tony Blair

This film managed to tackle an emotive set of related topics narrated by an exceedingly emotionally motivated person, yet retain the interest whilst fascinating the mind. Finally I am putting to bed any residual sympathy I may have had for the former Prime Minister, and though I will never completely purge the institutionalised bias I have against George Galloway in my heart (and that is most definitely my bad), my head is pretty sure that he is NOT in it for the money, and if he has any faults, lack of integrity is not one. The thing is, I don't realise quite how bad the media are (in general) when it comes to moulding public opinion, but now I have adopted Jeremy Corbyn it is truly dawning on me!. This film was as almost great an indictment of our newspapers and TV as it was of the war criminal Tony Blair. Unlike A Dangerous Game, which failed to evidence Donald Trump's failings, this film has convinced me of Tony Blair's complicity in the killing of hundreds of thousands of people, the fucking up of other countries and the support of bad guys. And it entertained me too. It's quite a gulp to take, so kudos to the makers. .

Kindergarten Cop

All this time Arnie was setting himself up for politics.

The Kings's Speech

The morning after I want to mark this less than an eight, which is why I should always grade my films immediately, even if I don't write anything down, 'cos this was a definite great film with everything one requires as compensation for not going to the cinema to watch the Back To The Future Triple header. One tends to remember the reverence to royalty rather than the humour and story telling, but the two male leads are just a terrific double act, and what the film loses in obsequieousness it gains in historical narrative. The Academy aren't a million miles off with this (though I would have picked Kick-Ass and a lot of people would have chosen Inception )

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Welcome to 2015. What a welcome. This is an absolute blast, from start to finish. Humorous, yet with real respect for the genre. Eye popping action. A boxful of characters that delight every time they light up the screen. Colin Firth is straight in as the target for the 2016 supporting actor. A dense script that surprises and entertains. I have not thought about much else for the last 8 hours, and am sad to say that this review may spoil your experience because you may expect too much given my gushing praise of it, but I’ve gotta be truthful! If you loved Kick-Ass this will not let you down. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? Hey, I’m not alone. The film drips with class, is bursting with references and whether we like it or not, we love our movie-stars. Oh – the music rocks, the church scene was perfectly scored to Freebird, it... it... Oh I’m fucking speechless!.

Kinsey

As biopics go this one is up there with the best. It is obviously a story which would appeal to me in that it illustrates how stupid humans are collectively. Liam Neeson should have been Oscar nominated for his Globe winning performance that includes a full on homo snog.. ewww! I'm not normally squeamish, and I now wonder if my relative ambivalence to homosexuality is because I reckon I am a pretty firm 0 on the scale and do not fear or need to conceal my inner feelings? i.e. are many people so homophobic (I hate that word, it's doesn't do the job it is meant to) because they are just a flounce gay themselves? Just a bit of speculation. Would I be racist if my mum was Polish? I am 'anti-car' and I do drive 'a bit'. Nah. I am for the right thing.

A Knight's Tale

To review

Knowing

One of those tape it 'cos Nick Cage should be good for a few moments films, and sure enough he is. There were genuinely times during this that piqued my fear button, albeit exceedingly briefly, and it didn't quite clear the hurdle of suspension of disbelief, nevertheless I enjoyed it, so what?.

Kramer vs. Kramer

There was a little bit of Company Men in that I can't feel much empathy for anyone who was earning $30,000 a year in 1979. Having said that, I do have increasingly mixed emotions regarding how I should rate this film, and I squeezed an extra .2 onto the score from my initial assessment. I can't help thinking that my own separation and relationships with my kids may have been influenced by this film in a very positive way. You are not meant to like Joanne (Meryl Streep), You are not meant to think Ted is perfect (even though Dustin Hoffman does such a good job). Everybody else has a degree of unlikeability which makes it an uncomfortable watch, nevertheless, I think it is a credit that the film holds up 'yuppie' values and smashes them like a scud hitting a penata. But I'm not sure. It definitely illustrates how custody descisions would be better made by a neutral part given the facts of the matter and not the sex of the litigants.

Kubo and the Two Strings

Laika studios produce such gorgeous pictures. I have to see this again as I think I was hypnotised, it is kind of one of the weirdest films I have seen, incorporating a very Japanese soul, this is far more Ghibli than Disney, but it is that unique stop motion of such density and high quality that gives Laika films there immediacy. Like Julia forgot it was stop motion after 2 seconds, it had me from the get go. I honestly had 20 micro sleeps during it, so am hardly in a position to judge. I really enjoyed Zootopia this year, but this may be front runner for the animation Oscar.

La Bamba

L learned somethings from this film regarding the history of popular music, I enjoyed the music, and although the interpersonal relationshios were a little sludgy all in all I would not mind watching a film like this every day.

La La Land

Well here we go. First off, this is a good film, and absolutely beautifully made. Second off it is not IMHO anything like as entertaining as the media might have you believe, and having discussed it with Ella we had both arrived independently at the same conclusion. People who haven't seen many musicals love it. Like those classic 50s musicals it hearkens back to (I'm thinking of An American In Paris and Singin' In The Rain It is strong on dance, good on tunes, but relatively moderate on characters and story. As an out and out vehicle for tunes, it cannot hold a candle to Rent (lit or not!), or Wicked, or Sunshine on Leith, or Frozen. I could go on and on and on with that list. The thing is, it sounds like I am dissing it, but I'm not, I'm glad I saw it for its own sake, but I think a lot of people have got caught up in the hype. There has been another film this year that gives a take on Hollywood that is better in every department, even including the dance routine- Hail Caesar!

And Jon Legend is no actor

And I get sick of Americans living in beautiful apartments and imagining they are having some kind of a hard time.

Labor Day

Quite a beautiful film, gets ticks on most aspects. Great contrast to Starred Up which I watched a couple of hours beforehand, yet both detailing stories of prison and its effects on humanity. I reckon this is a good film to take a girl to see. What's a girl?

NB. Toby McGuire is very Cider House Rules (Watch them both, If you are like me you will thoroughly enjoy them).

The Ladykillers

It was sweet watching this with a £21 meal for three from Sun Sun, and Graham, Ella and Angie. Old fashioned, to see the Euston Roiad with no traffic was quaint, the acting is like pantomime, and it just takes you back to a better time, when criminals were gentlemen and the filth didn't think they were clever.

The Last Emperor

An Oscar winner... delivers. Look, I know I've only given this 7.5, but that was for personal enjoyment I can totally understand why the Academy dished out the gong in this case, it is sumptous, factual, and a thoroughly 'must watch' film, and kudos to them for being brave enough to place it up there. I know, it is wrong to say a film is good because it was ground-breaking, but this one feels like the first time people have seen the inside of the Forbidden Palace. The morning after and I am so glad I saw it. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO UPGRADE MY RATING. But if I was, I would!! If you are going to watch it (and you should), please be patient, don't expect anything too spectacular in terms of plot twists, it's a biography. Awesome.

The Last King Of Scotland, The

To review

Last Man Standing

A critically poorly recieved film, I can praise some aspects of it, but feel that it is implausibility of it all that dissapointed me more than the technical aspects (music, acting, and cinematography were all pretty awesome). An all star cast replicate the story of A Fistfull Of Dollars with the added bonus that the hero is actually indestructable and, bar one which hits him in the lower off-stomach towards the end of the film, is to all intents and purposes, bullet-proof. It just doesn't wash, so by half way through you come to realise there is not a great deal of shock to look forward to.

Intresting cast in that Walter Hill uses David Patrick Kelly in a pretty similar role to The Warriors and that the overarching feel of Deadwood has to be because of the directorial connection, along with Dern and Sanderson, who is eminently recognisable.

The Last Of The Mohicans

Just a good film, with digestible romance, terrific characterisation, it was, now I think about it, a love story, albeit a very stiff upper lip one. It was a little like watching Pocahontas !.

The Last Stand

Entertaining shoot em up with an edge that, unusually, means not everybody who gets killed is wearing a red shirt. The characters are pretty stock, I'm not giving anything away by saying that Arnie is the small town sheriff with a big town background, Stormare is a head stooge as manic as any Chuckle brother, Johnny Knoxville is big hearted Jackass and Eduardo Noriega is an impossibly handsome/brilliant/lucky/bulletproof/theatrical drug kingpin. The dialogue is equally recognisable, e.g. Gabriel Cortez: "You fucked up my car." - Sheriff Ray Owens: " You fucked up my day off ".

From that I guess you can work out the story... but so what?? packed with action and clichés, this is what a lot of people want, and it does it well. .

The Last Temptation Of Christ

This had a feel of Ben Hur about it. I watched 30 minutes and was moderately entertained, but it is one of those "Hey look, we are questioning the bible, therefore we are open minded think outside the boxes types, and this Jesus thing might be real", but that's the whole problem. It is no more an academic exercise than The Legend of Hercules .

Last Vegas

I was not particularly looking forward to this, but after a while I cracked and was well glad. I mean, who wants to see for old actors resting on their laurels? The thing is though, although you will not want for gags, in a way their was some restraint, especially Robert DiNero who was pretty grumpy throughout, which, after The Family and a string of 'comedic' performances was more like it. Enough of the film came out as being believable to tip the balance in it's favour. Pretty solid seven which makes it a great trip to the cinema and well worth recording in two years time.
I think the clincher was using September by Earth Wind and Fire during the film and over the end credits. Night at The Museum, The Ringer .. That is three out of three genuine feel good films that use this superb track to capture their objective
Oh, and guys, if you are reading this I put Kev in the lead actor role because I just did. Apologies, Mike, Morgan and Bob.

Laughter In Paradise

Such a good film. You know I really like old school, this reminds me of Private Lives in that it seems so much more spontaneous with comedy I was cracking up over. It is sheer pantomime and I love it love it love it. I wonder if the more I watch Ealing Comedies the better they get? (PS its not an Ealing Comedy any more than My Man A Sweet Man is Motown).

The Lavender Hill Mob

Ealing comedy. Thoroughly enjoyable, Interesting, funny stereotypes, reasonable story, very dated, but hell, what is there not to like about it? Alec Guiness is a good actor.

Law Abiding Citizen

Ha! A couple of hours of total comic book hokum, which doesn't take its foot off the pedal for the entire duration. Gerard Butler is cast perfectly as Mike Banning as Gerard Butler. SPOILER ALERT. They must have thought "Now, what crime could a man suffer and survive that are the most heinous, and then, how much revenge can he extract aginst all the odds?". They must have sat round the table pitching ideas and hell, they were probably high and giggling uncontrolably whilst coming up with more ridiculous stretchers, but the thing is, its just fun, gratuitously violent grim slaptick that uses blood instead of shaving foam pies. I actually, in retrospect, think the film may have been so action-packed that the pay-off was a little bit of a downer? Whatever, You can watch this with a beer and a pizza, make sure you watch right from the start and just chill out for an evening. ***½.

Lawrence Of Arabia

Too gay, superb theme

Leaving Las Vegas

I don't like films about neurotic fucking Americans. I know, the guy who wrote it killed himself two weeks into the making of this film, but I do not base my enjoyment ratings on sympathy. This girl, Sera, she must be really stupid, and Nick Cage has been so much better in other films. I wouldn't have given him the Oscar for this, Matchstick Men maybe if Kevin Spacey had been in retirement that year, but not this. It just doesn't seem feasable. A very neutral watch, didn't dislike it, but I was left thinking "am I really going to Bad Blake myself on watching films 'cos somebody got an Oscar?".

Legend

This was not a bad film at all; I expected less, but got a pretty riveting watch, with some uncomfortable humour, some insight into names I have known all my life, and timed my Subway Salad to perfection for the start of the film. Frankly, I am always pleased when the Studio Canal Logo opens up a film. This probably is not a spoiler alert but SPOILER ALERT. please do not read any further if you have not seen the film, then come back and tell me I am clueless. I never ever realised the both Krays were played by Tom Hardy. Fekkin' genius, I am so glad I did not pay much attention to the trailers and adverts, even though I did ponder why Tom Hardy was credited but the actor playing Ron wasn't. I thought it was Vic Reeves or somebody. One case in point where ignorance was bliss!.

The Legend Of Bagger Vance

This film had its moments, but was embarrassingly Schmaltzy (Can't spell that word), weird in terms of its own continuity, From the sun being above the horizon to being pitch dark in the space of one golf hole, and didn't really have a message, other than golf is a great game. But golf is a game which people love anyway, and you don't need a magic nigger. I liked all the actors, the scenery and music (bar Will Smith who just never seems to do it for me). Robert Redford should do the film of the Menlo 8.

The Legend Of Hercules

I'm dead happy in a way, because I didn't write down a review for this film until now, and I was going to write that if you have an Unlimited film ticket that you might as well go and see this. I see I have rated it as a 5, which at least means I am being consistent! I reckon if this was the first Quasi ancient literature action movie you ever watched you would be quite impressed!. The relationship between this story and the Hercules I was familiar with is tenous. It makes Disney's version look like an ad verbatim copy of the Labours .

The Legend of Tarzan

So lets say all the execs are sitting 'round the table saying "what can we reboot?" and some bright spark says "Tarzan!" After some brainstorming they decide to get somebody who's ripped to play Tarzan, an FHM top tenner to play Jane, who can we have for a malevolent and heartless northern European? Ah yes Christopher Waltz, and hell, its set in 1889 but lets give Samuel L Jackson a part. Let's put loads of good looking CGI, and make sure we don't have any women talking to each other and the goodies win, and lets have a bit of broody and rewarded romance and - bingo. Hope I've not given too much away. In the vein of The Mummy this is harmless, predictable and fun eye candy. .

The Legend Of Zorro

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed Antonio Banderas's portrayal of the swashbuckling hero, with the over the top stunts and emotion, he was funny and intresting. Then came the story, which was predictable but bearable all the same. Then came Cathryn Zeta Jones who, forgive me, 'cos she might be a perfectly sweet person, just doesn't do it for me. Like some tart reading the football scores at 5 o'clock on a Saturday I find this kind of token false empowerment a complete turn off. It was OK, but that's as far as I'm prepared to go with this.

Legends Of The Fall

Nice eye candy, great scenery, intresting juxtaposition between the good and the bad and people's perceptions and instincts towards said traits. I was almost dissappointed with the ending, as it eliminated that ambiguity, and diminished the potential to reflect any reality.

The Lego Movie

This turned out better than I would have expected. I feel I should have given it more than 6.5, nevertheless I nodded off during it, I think due more to tiredness (had just watched The Monuments Men and had a foot long, than lack of interest. A whole heap of cross references that I am sure I missed, and a believable premise. I am not sure how much was CGI and how much was stop-go, but it was quite magnificent, the cinematography, as it were. Almost too intense a visual assault, but definitely worth a watch and a credible movie for adults.

Let's Be Cops

Rock solid comedy/action, with a good premise well executed. Jon Lajoile as Todd? Who was that? Ah yes, the bloke who I initially thought was Adam Scott, playing very much the same role. It'll be intresting to see how other peole regard this, I think it would be easy to get snotty about it, perhaps I have? Happy endings n all. Not challenging but does what it says on the packet.

Lethal Weapon

To review

Life After Beth

Zombie films make better comedies than Zombie films, and this is a case in point. It trundles along with enough comedy, titilation and make up to maintain the intrest, Dane DeHaan is really the lead in this, and it is just unpredictable enough to keep the film fresh.

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers

Write reviews within 24 hours! Part of a biopic double with The Death of Stalin. I never liked The Goons, I loved Clouseau back in the day. Peter Sellers did not come out of this smelling of roses, more kudos to the film in a world where hagiography usually trumps truth. It felt like a caser of ‘never meet your heroes’.

Life Is Beautiful

Films made outside of Hollywood and the UK bring such a change. The vitality of this film permeates every frame, the humour (which is most definitely not what we become accutomed to) is relentless. Quaintness is an asset to this film's delivery. Roberto Begnini is a delight, he would have been a superstar in the silent era, and though I think it is a bit of a 'let humanity off the hook' film, it is in no way as patronising as some films which illustrate original sin far more seriously. .

The Life of Emile Zola

A little treat this, a nice historical tale with some great performances, culminating in superb courtroom drama. Yes, it is very naive, hell, silent movies were everything less than a decade before this was made, and it does apologise for any historical inaccuracy, but all in all it gets on with it. Another film which illustrates human idiocy, perhaps the most naive aspect being its optimism.

I am definitely beginning to like old films.

Lilo & Stitch

Write reviews within 24 hours! I wrote to my children “why had we never watched Lilo and Stitch together?”, I would imagine that at first glance it looks like another cartoon with farting animals, but no. Dare I say that this is better than many a subsequent Disney production, giving those two critical elements, story and characters priority over glorious production techniques. But the production was lovely, just more old school, with out the detail you get nowadays but with the feel of real art that depicts feeling rather than photograph. Spoiler alert. From the moment Lilo socked her ‘fwend’ you sit upright and think ‘now here is somebody I want to know all about’. I’m going to give it just 1% off Encanto for the Lynn Manuel soundtrack. Flippin’ great

Limitless

If you have nothing else to do... The cutting wears thin, and the reliance on a single plot device means that it stretches a bit for a lot of its length. There's nothing particularly wrong with it as a slab of vacous entertainment, Bradley Cooper is just right for the job, but seems a little smug, and the whole ethic is kinda questionable, but, hey ho, I sat through it without breaking anything. I may be alone, but I thought Lucydid the same thing a whole lot better. Jeeze it made nearly $134 million profit!.

Lincoln

Thumbs up for a thriller conducted without explosions, animals, car chases or overt out and out bad guys. Daniel Day Lewis is cloyingly convincing, and as an exercise in understanding politics it is an absolute standard text. Steven Spielberg can deliver a story, and you know what he is doing, nevertheless he still sucks you in on the right side. I bet Tommy Lee Jones loved doing this.

N.B. The consensus seems to be that it is 90% accurate, that there is some exaggeration, that some costume inconsistencies question historical accuracy, but all in all it is factually sufficiently robust.

Lion

The first hour of this film was all at once more enchanting than harrowing, the second hour a little flatter and the resolution satisfying. There were moments during the film when I got quite cut up, the child Saroo was beautiful, perfectly cast, and Dev Patel gives a very convincing moody performance. Once again I think this film may have been even better than my kick quotient, there was actually not anything wrong with it technically, perhaps it was always going to be half an hour too long, and I just can't help thinking that given (SPOILER ALERT) he knew the area where he came from was called something like "Ginestlay", actually making the leap to Ganesh Talai did not demand the walls full of maps charts and notes, I mean Ganesh is quite the deity. That adult Saroo was not perfect is probably a really good thing. Is that my fault for demanding saccharine? I think it may be. Not far off a must-see film for anybody.

A Little Chaos

Goodness, there are some excellent films to watch. This film definitely scores high on the feel-good factor, not totally unlike Cinderella (2015), which I watched the day before, it forms a sumptuous collage coupled with a rockin' cast to provide something artistic and satisfying.

An excellent film was taken to another level by the best score I have noticed since Grand Budapest Hotel (n.b. It was by a bloke called Peter Gregson, and it was his feature film debut. ONE TO WATCH (or listen too). Absolutely brilliant! Might be a good value bet for best score at the Oscars

Stanley Tucci never fails, and Kate Winslett. Nearly two decades after Titanic and she is still hot, but... she goes into this monologue about a rose and its ageing and I thought “ man that wouldn't half be appropriate if it was self-referential ” (given that she was Rose in Titanic )

Locke

Tom Hardy.. This is the true inheritor of the one-man play, a film so sparse that, apart from wondering what the $2 million budget was spent on, and why a wardrobe designer is credited, one can only marvel at the power of story telling. Like many 'gritty' films this has an enjoyment quotient somewhat less than its quality mark, nevertheless this was incredibly enyouable and most thought-provoking. Just watch it to see a masterclass in acting and narrative. How the fuck can it hold you for 90 minutes? The thing is; it does. I have not been as impressed with the art of theatre since The Woman In Black

There are moments when Tom Hardy looks like Chris Pratt!.

London Has Fallen

A quite excellent opening 40 minutes, I thought I was going to mark it higher. The second half of the film was just a shoot-em-up which got mundane after a while. I do find Gerard Butler very watchable, and its funny in a Team America way, but I actually think it is meant to be, so don't go if you want anything too cerebral, but if you like gunfire and explosions I am sure you will like this. Fuck yeah!.

The Lone Ranger

A big film! It worked for me, it had a fairly unusual combination of comedy and brutality, I have never seen better quality pictures of monument valley, and for a long film (over two hours) it kept me engaged. Very much the same feel as Gore Verblinski's Rango but with a more believable universe. The use of the traditional Lone Ranger tropes was well placed, and all in all I would say a must see film? Even if you don't like it? Which I did?.

A Long Way Down

Nothing wrong with watching this on an afternoon suckin' a Doctor Peppers. Aaron Paul kind of steps up for this, so all in all it was a reasonable entertaining watch. Brosnan actually puts in an annoyingly good performance. Watch it and think about it and the part he is playing. Even Sam Neill comes out smelling of roses. Imogen Poots along with Paul redeems herself after Need For Speed - yeah – that'll do!.

The Longest Day

Watch this, you will see A Bridge Too Far in black, white. An epic movie which takes a relatively focused event, deals with the multiple protagonists.

I do feel that the wise cracking small fella from, probably, Brooklyn is over-used, along with the military stereotypes of the amazed cockney, the dour Scot, the stiff upper lip English officers,, the Germans who keep repeating lines like “verrry interesting”. John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, quite frankly, get on my tits. Let’s throw Richard Burton in there too.

I am being too harsh by picking out the negatives,, on writing I realize what a good film this was. Plus points are a ready-made story (which is not really resolved except in the imagination), some interesting characters, an absolutely stellar cast, a huge set, the historical insight. I would single out the extensive use of German, French dialogue with subtitles completely the right way to go,, that this should be the template; as I recall it I can’t remember the subtitles being there, but I do know one never read “very interesting”! To its credit not all the Germans in this film were buffoons or overbearingly arrogant,, it was good to see that a short generation after the events, some were portrayed in a decently sympathetic light. I can’t wait to read the reviews on the historical accuracy, but all in all I would say this is a must-see film, perhaps in tandem with Saving Private Ryan, not just for ‘enjoyment’ but for an insight into the D Day landings, movie making from a world which had heard of Elvis, but not The Beatles

Thought: Why was James Stewart not in this film? I mean, read his war record, you have one stand-up guy. Was this film below his high standards?

Looking For Eric

Ken Loach makes films like most of us make a cup of tea. There were some definite eyebrow raising precepts in the story, but what the hell!!! It was thoroughly enjoyable Funny, surprising, poignant. Steve Evets was rightly nominated at Cannes for best actor, and you can not not like Eric Cantona. Can't wait for the next film in the director's season that we are enjoying.

Looper

This makes me want to go and watch Memento and Inception again. Good film, solid story and concept, solid performances all round.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

This was one of the two movies I have watched at the cinema and left thinking "Is that the best film I have ever seen?" (The other one was Titanic). On a re-watch some 16 years later there is a lot of water run under the bridge, and, without doubt it is still a huge spectacle, absolutely loaded to the gunnels with incredible scenery, great action, and classic dialogue, but... Like often happens with films I re-watch post my keeping these records in an ordered fashion three years ago, I have got a little more picky, and this is not the 10 I probably imagined it to be. It can be a little draggy, It is three hours long and might have been 150 minutes (but, come on, I'm trying to think where I would have edited and I can hardly imagine where so...) (Ah yes, It would be lots of little 5 second cuts in establishing shots and wow moments - like - we get it already!)(and a bit less birthday). Merry and Pippin are dicks. That's the only way I can put it, and like the cheesy family bits in Apollo 13 they detract from the thrust of what is going on. Whatever. I think I'm a little disappointed that I don't love it more :(. It is still awesome, never forget that.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Like number one, this has had a re-appraisal, and do you know; I definitely like it more than the first. There is less cheese and more action, and two of the three story arcs seem to get on with it a little bit sharper than the first film? Merry and Pippin are still annoying dicks, and the reveals are definitely naff, so I could have done without all the 'tada I'm really Gandalf' bit in Fanghorn! Gollum is definitely a massive star, and the whole Helm's Deep thing is incredible, it really is. Look, even if your favourite film is 50 First Dates you should still sit through the theatrical cut of this trilogy if only for it's place in the cannon of modern epic film production.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return Of The King

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

9 for my kids

Lord Of War

Great Everything. Cage's finest. Superb sets, captivating narrative, awesome moral message, extremely enjoyable history lesson.

Lords Of Dogtown

To review

The Lost Weekend

More American neurosis with a reasonably compelling cast and fascinating views of New York. These can be old-fahioned!.

Lovelace

This is actually quite a good film, but very difficult to assess comfortably, without the baggage of a fruitcake Catholic, 60s, northern English upbringing. The thing is, it takes a potentially seedy topic and turns it into a biopic as untitillating as The Karen Carpenter Story. That is not meant to sound like a bad thing. It takes a novel approach, the surprising raft of stars hold the eye, I really wanted to see what was happening and it ended all too quickly! Amanda Seyfried is quite perfect and Peter Starsgard is exactly the same as he will be in Magnificent 7 three years hence except he has flairs and a porno tash. I was left feeling that I should diss this more, but I can't. Yes, it works beyond a daytime filler on Movies for Morons.

Lucky Number Sleven

Seven it is! Yeah! Good film, great cast, good story decent carachters. Bruce Willis has done a lot of fucking ace films!.

Lucy

One of my favourite films of the year and I tell yer why. Lucy is not an impossibly gifted woman, as depicted in so many female empowerment films. She basically has magic powers, so don't complain about the science you stupid cunts, it is not meant to be the IPCC report, its a film where she gets fucked over, gets magic powers and kicks ass. Speaking of which she is the best female since Hit Girl, totally at one in her universe, good story, believable carachters (if you buy into their universe), spectacular, amusing. What modern movies do brillaintly.

Macbeth

There is not, in my memory, a single minute of five seasons of Game of Thrones, which is less exciting than any moment from this film. There is not, in my memory, a single word or picture in the book Where's Spot?, which is less exciting than any dialogue or frame from this film.

I am open to persuasion, but COME ON, I left with half an hour to go. Let me quote from a review on IMDB.

visually impressive, intelligently adapted, atmospheric version of a very famous play. Michael Fassbender is stunning in the title role. What an actor he is! Brutal and sensitive, cruel and caressing, he handles the verse effortlessly, the fights viciously, and he radiates a huge wattage of charisma.

The thing is, I agree, but if you want visually impressive just go to Scotland, if you want intelligence read Richard Dawkins, If you want atmosphere turn a smoke machine on. etc etc etc. Personally I like a story, and this one was hard to follow. Please, tell me why I am wrong, but I bet yer bottom dollar when it comes to the critics the King will have a splendid new coat on.

Machete

Super, totally awesome, template for film makers everywhere. Off a $10 million budget, one of the very best action films I have ever seen, the humour is a blast, the sexual content perfect, the carachters totally larger than life, a stellar cast, and the action is bloody, brutal and straight from the Tex Avery school of cartoon violence. Just unbelievable, the audacity of it all.

Machete Kills

I'd say that for around $20 million this will give a lot more to the world than Joe Allen's transfer from Liverpool to Stoke (£13m). It's not going to win an Oscar, but its not meant to. It's a piss take exploring the ridiculous concept of a nearly 70 year old man being a brutal super sexy spy ninja, and it works. Talk about a star-studded cast!.

Mad Max

Sorrreee. I guess I don't like films which glorify the petrol engine. Apart from that there is little that is challenging about this movie apart from sitting through it to see if the pitch or pace changes. This is written at lerast a year aftyer I have seen the film, but I just remember watching this and the others with Jake and just packing it in half way through Thunderdome .

Mad Max 2

To review

Mad Max: Fury Road

I am confident that many people will enjoy this more than I did. Why have I given this a four, compared to San Andreas and its seven?

Fundamentally it is well filmed, and well acted, but you could really divide the film up into 6 minute segments, shuffle them and it would not be that different. It is 2 hours of vehicles in a petrol poor society going off at random tangents and getting smashed up whilst the protagonists look 'ard say very little and think even less. Save your money and instead of going to watch this film, watch the cam on Town End Junction, Pontefract for more or less the same narrative but without the mental guitarist and his whammy bar flame -thrower.

Made In Dagenham

I think a half decent historical/biographical film will always rate a six, just for quiz value (I love quizzes), but this one brings something else to the table, like a good old triumphal sports story it is an enjoyable watch. I don't know how much of this was real, but hey – story tellers so what story tellers do!.

Magic Mike

If someone can tell me how this ended I guess you might surprise me, but I doubt it. Matthew McConaughey is terrific, I never quite know what too make of Channing Tatum, and the rest of the characters kind of got on my nerves. 90 minutes I won't get back, ten minutes would have been sufficient. Too many stage routines, not enough story, very few persons of interest.

The Magnificent Seven

A good, modern, film by numbers. There are no unsurprising surprises, the characters are all pretty much stock-in-trade, the outcome not unpredictable and the baddy does have a 'magic wand, make my monster grow' moment. So don't go and see it if you seek novelty. On the other hand if you want to see a slew of actors at the top of their game playing gnarly old stagers who are hard as fuck shooting bad guys, you can't go far wrong. I see I have not reviewed the originals, so that has to be on the agenda. Good movie.

As an addendum I went to see it a second time, and I enjoyed it even more. The thing was, I wasn't sat through the film waiting for Elmer Bernstein's theme to kick in, so had more time to enjoy the humour which actually dominates the first half of the film, and the absolutely sumptuous filming of people's faces, I have never seen a film like it for taking such interesting visages and highlighting them in such fascinating detail.

Four members of the group claim 6,5,5, and 7 kills during the initial town gunfight but Bogue says that 22 of his men died. The drape sign saying Bogue Mining is visibly taken down but reappears during the town fight preparation montage. When Bogue returns from Sacramento one can only count perhaps 70 men with him. Prior to him ordering the wagon, at least 70 are directly witnessed being shot or exploded off their horses, that's not including townsfolk and ones hidden behind the explosions. Uncounted more die in the consuming mêlée.

Maleficent

This turned out to be better than I thought it would be. Ther best recent retake on a tale is Mirror Mirror, yet this came out with genuine credit.

The Man

You know, sometimes there is nothing wrong with Samuel L Jackson just being given a platform to be Samuel L Jackson (though AFAIK he didn't say 'motherfucker' once.) I should really write more about the plots to remind me in future; basically an out of town dental product salesman gets mixed up with crime in Detroit with hilarious consequenses. Luke Goss is a very good, very typical Anglo- villain but, maybe it just caught me in a good mood, Eugene Levy is just superb, every nuance, subtle carachter change. I doubt this was up for awards at The Venice Film Festival, but it is a long long time since I laughed at a fart scene, but this film carries it!! It is only snobbishness which stops me giving it 7.5.

I am sooo glad I wrote my review first. This is what it says on Wikipedia

The Man was blasted by critics, many of whom shared the opinion that the plot was pointless and its jokes rehashed. Review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes currently reports that the film holds a score of 11% based on 100 reviews.For his two 2005 performances in The Man and Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Eugene Levy received a Razzie nomination for Worst Supporting Actor

In retrospect, my point is that he (Levy) is meant to be like he is, the script was meant to be cartoon carachters with Tom and Jerry viloence and gags. And definitely not a pointless plot. And every gag is rehashed. Faggots.

A Man For All Seasons

I'll tell you how stupid religion is. When I was at junior school, at St Joseph's, Pontefract, they trooped us down to the Crescent Cinema to watch this. If I remember rightly I was bored shitless with it at the time. This second time around, nearly half a century later, it wasn't so bad, with a great cast and reasonably engaging story. The dialogue was absolutely wonderful, but the best boost to this film was comparing it to Wolf Hall, and seeing how similar they are, but from different viewpoints, especially the main protagonists, Thomases Moore and Cromwell. I am absolutely positive that this film has had a massive influence on the TV program. What a cast!

The Man From Laramie

Very unfair of me to include this as I only watched perhaps 15 minutes of it. The film quality was terrible. This may have been a broadcast issue, but I'm still kind of Westerned out at the moment, and when the great James Stewart started getting all racist in the shop and the director agreed with him I made what I think, in retrospect, was the right call and watched Kick-Ass 2 instead. I probably would have enjoyed it had I stuck it out, but with all the stuff available nowadays...

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

2015 is turning into a vintage year for spy/spoof movies, with this delivering a fun reboot of what might have been one of my favourite programmes when I was a kid (I have been told to re-watch them).

Arnie Hammer and Henry Clavill are kind of perfect in their parts, and, at last, a Hugh Grant role which doesn't annoy, but amuses completely. He has to get a recurring role in James Bond, in fact, feck it – this franchise has got some roll left in it. With hindsight it is just a vehicle for tried and tested clichés, but that is what makes it good, they work, and they are delivered with not just wit, but respect. If you like the idiom, watch this when you are in a good mood and I hope it will entertain.

Man Of Steel

Excellent ripping yarn with a very appropriate cast. I must admit I am still looking forward to the last 40 minutes, but that is the first thing on today's agenda. Amy Adams is worth an extra point on any film. Henry Cavill will be famous for a long time methinks (You can get (Cal-El) out of his name; what are the odds?).

Man On Fire

To review

Man Up

I am so seriously worried about myself. SPOILER ALERT: Man and woman thrown together in unforseen circumstances, have their differences but eventually resolve them to find true love. There I've given it all away. The thing is, it's a story I like, and, in this case, it is done exceedingly well. Thoroughly entertaining script, Pegg and Bell are superb individually and as a team, it never takes itself too seriously, it's just one of those. The sets are the same as used in Bededict Cumberbatch's Sherlock (look at the chase through London with a taxi scene). So err... I feel, four hours later like giving it less than a 9, but it was just a great afternoon's fun which pushed all the right buttons and very few wrong ones.

Manchester By The Sea

Put this side by side with Boyhood and Ordinary People and it comes out miles in front. I kind of enjoyed the surprise factor, not like explosions or squirrels, but just these fairly quiet characters, behaving quite credibly without being entirely predictable. It takes deadpan humour to an absolutely new level, I mean, I am still wondering if the straight faced delivery of faintly ridiculous and awkward situations was part of the plan. It was. I think! For their faults the people described herein had enough humanity about them to involve the watcher. Don't expect fireworks, but it's a half decent night in.

Nelson Mendela; Long Walk To Freedom

Fascinating story, you almost think they could have made a three parter. With Invictus being the last instalment.

Manhattan

Between this and Annie Hall - I feel that I am really missing something. Both of them have multiple accolades, and make all sorts of best-of lists, but quite frankly I found them both, especially this, tedious and irritating. They are only 90 minutes long apiece but they felt like three hours. I didn't like any of the characters, not only that, they were not interesting. Oh la dee dah, look how fucking modern, and educated and cosmopolitan and unhung up we are. Wow, the best things in life are stuff which makes me look hyper-cool when I say it. The jokes would be funny off the cuff, but they sound so shoed in. How dare Woody Allen take Rhapsody in Blue and the rest of the Gershwin catalogue and make it a backing track to his film? (I know, John Landis did it with Mozart at the beginning of Trading Places, but in that case the music was totally appropriate to the set up, not a declaration of artyness).

This is a theory. Woody Allen uses intellectual humour which some people, many people, just love to endorse, not because it's gut-bustingly funny, but because it reflects on how they wish to be perceived by others. It's the Emperor's new clothes. This is why I hate cities, especially 'cultural' capitals like London and New York that act as magnets for shysters and charlatans whose only claim to superiority is that given them by the equally vacuous tricksters that they surround themselves with. A monkey could run a hedge fund, Willy Mays was born in Alabama, and I could paint a picture to hang upside down without anybody knowing.

Please - could somebody tell me; why should I love these? Observational humour, it reminds me of all those naff radio 2 DJ's who go on and on about the same point. Masturbation might be sex with someone you love, but I certainly don't want to watch it performed by a spindly, ugly, undersized, pseudo-intellectual who doesn't have the balls to admit that the money and the power are the pussy magnets. Would he really be knocking off an articulate worldly wise 17 year old actress if he were a cab driver or a janitor with exactly the same vocabulary? I wish they would all fuck off and live in the Niger delta for five years - that would be a story!

The Martian

Yep, a lot more fun than Interstellar but it's not Apollo 13

I read that the science is good, but ... Ah, it's just a yarn, and with a Sub and coffee and biscuits and fruit and nut on it's release day with our Grom it was a nice place to be.

P.s. I thought the film quality was terrible, like they had left all the backgrounds in 3d.

Martin And Lewis

Americans must have a different sense of humour to us. Watched it with Ang, Jake and Julia, Saturday Night Takeaway was funnier. Donald O'Connor in Singin' In The Rain Was genius; This was just a silly face and a stupid voice, the dubbing was poor and the laughter contrived. 5 star veg curry though.

Marty

Sort

MASH

I think this could be rightfully held up as a milestone in American film, in that it is the earliest movie I can remember seeing that escapes the Hayes Code with such a degree of freedom. Perhaps Some Like It Hot was breaking free of that incredibly naive, destructive, self sustaining, self righteous censorship which burdened the most lucrative and potentally fertile areas of collaborative human creativity in history, but it took a decade of clumsyness, self censorship, looking over the shoulder, hey look at how groundbreaking amd modern and swingin' we are before we finally arrive at this. Not perfect by any means, still not timed quite right, nevertheless, this is the transition from the awkward adolescence of Hollywood after an abused childhood, into an adult that has found their feet and has learned to stand on them for themselves. I think for nearly 50 years the poster put me off chasing this one down. A good film indeed, which perhaps paved the way for my generation to enjoy the flowering of this wonderful medium.

Master And Commander

To review

Matchstick Men

This might easily sneak a higher rating if my memory serves me well, I'm a sucker for sucker punches.

The Maze Runner

I reckon there are films that you know what you are going to write about before you have even seen them, and this falls plumb into that department. Teens, experiment, distopia, I can't even be bothered going on. IT DOESN'T WORK WITHIN ITS OWN UNIVERSE!. There were so many peculiarities about this film that I can't list them all, but, eg. 4 gaps open up in the walls around the quarry (which varies between 4 and 1000 acres). WHY OH WHY OH WHY???. The more I think about it the more I want to downgrade it. I will. A bare pass. Jojen Reed!! LOL.

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

If you said to me "Tell us what Maze Runner 1 and 2 are about" I don't think I could talk for more than 30 seconds. In it's defence, I suspect there may be a complexity which has by-passed me, but somebody will have to bail me out if that is the case. This second instalment left me thinking I will watch the third for the sake of completion, whilst Mockingjay has left me really looking forward to the last part of Hunger Games . There's the rub.

McFarland, USA

There is no escaping the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It is a Disney sports rags to riches story, and it is done well enough to quickly slash away my cynicism and pull me along on an escapist reflection on David and Goliath in which Kevin Costner is likeable and the rest of the cast magnetic in a cool runnings kind of way. It's formlaic, but it's a formula that works. There is also some 'based upon a true story' about it, which adds to it's value.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

I thought it might be Fault In Our Stars y. It damn well was, what a terrible double header that would be. Having said that things generally worked in this film, Thomas Mann seemed like a young deadpan Bill Murray, and though quirky in the extreme, I felt generally more invested in it as it went along. I'm going to write this down now and see if I've said it already. Olivia Cooke is from Oldham! (No I haven't; she was in that horror film Ouija .

Me Before You

One of the most surprising films I have seen, not necessarily in the narrative or production, but in the reaction it has elicited with me. First the film: I thought it would be a walk-out, but there was nothing else on so I thought "give it a chance". After two minutes I was looking around to pick up my belongings but... it ended up kind of working for me as a piece of entertainment if not more. Despite Emilia Clarke seeming to be gunning for a Razzie, and despite the girly bait (shoes, fashion, handsome guy, lurve, heroinism), it really worked. It has a lot in common with The Intouchables, I'm sure this film will not get anything like the critical acclaim (it's not French for a kick off), but I felt a little more comfortable with this version in that it wasn't as self righteous.

More importantly it is the afterthought which makes this film actually quite special, in that it has kicked up a bit of a stir, I won't say why, that can easily be discovered elsewhere, and you may want to watch it first. I enjoyed the film though and I do believe it makes a valid point. Just because something is uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean it is bad - I don't know the answers but it is good to ask the questions.

Oh and as for the Mother of Dragons, I am now thinking that her portrayal was very deliberate, which, if so, renders it brilliant. I mean she has the most important part in the best TV show ever made absolutely nailed, then she does this? I'd like to know what you think. Dig the Coraline look!

Mean Girls

I have got to memorise some of the dialogue from this film. Some portion into the film it was shaping up for a ten, and having said that it wasn't particularly broadsided at any point, it just set itself a very high standard to keep up with! I'd almost place it into that bracket of films that is a touchstone watch, one which in order to hold any converstion about comedic movies it really helps to have seen (Mark Laycock and I were talking about In Bruges, The Usual Suspects, Withnail and I )

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

" Amen "

Mean Streets

I'm beginning to imagine that my perceptions of New York gangster films are coloured differently from many other observers. The thing is, I just don't think as highly of this film, or Goodfellas and the Godfathertrilogy as much as the consensus. That is not to say I didn't like them, far from it; just that I don't think they are the best films ever made - nowhere near it. They for me seem to feed off the violence over the nuance of carachter and reality, almost as if the critics are saying that "we love this" because they are wanting to be seen to be super 'ard, kind of kow-towing to the mob that the films portray.

I also know that older films do get dated. I love Star Trek, but come on, the Original Series had a healthy dose of corn that pervaded the series, and that does not diminish with age. Likewise this film is a product of its time, a post Hayes Code film that still doesn't quite know how to balance sex, violence and humanity. Like The Sting and lots of other post-Beatles, pre Sex Pistols films it may have been ground breaking at the time, but wing collars will always look stupid!

So.. watch this, and then watch all six seasons of The Sopranos to see how far the genre has moved on, and tell me you enjoyed it one tenth as much.

Memento

The six I gave this film, I have little doubt, does not reflect its merit. It tries to tell you I enjoyed the film, but not as much as Lets Be Cops . I am sure it demands another watch, or even one of the edited versions that puts the timeline conventionally. Don't in fact, read this review 'cos it won't tell you anything. Apart from perhaps I'm a bit dim on non linear narratives (I didn't like Pulp Fiction when I first saw it!!!.

Men In Black 3

An ideal way to spend an evening! As our Jake says, time displacement is a fertile patch for exploration, and a funny and entertaining thread is absolutely lit up by Josh Brolin as Tommy Lee Jones. Makes me chuckle to think of it even now. The vertigoal scene's were genuinely hairy, even on a domestic TV. Solid shit.

The Men Who Stare At Goats

There is nothing quite like a goat credit to favourably colour your recollections of a film. I'm thinking 7.8 is on the high side, but the goat convinced me otherwise. This puzzled me in that all the time the text is hinting that it is true, yet it is not. Men can not run through walls, so, wheras the denoument of Big Fish is a credible reveal, this ending just harpoons credibility. Maybe it is meant that way, but I would have prefered a film on the topic where I could walk away believing that it was largely truth with a few stretchers, as opposed to a mickey take. George Clooney at his absolute best. .

Micmacs

Another lend from Rebecca, another monochromy French film watched with subtitles. These films I am watching from her have very simialar ensembles of very quirky carachters doing insane shit. Apart from being a companion to Delicatessen I reckon it would make a decent triple with Blood Diamond and the magnificent Lord Of War In the context of looking at corruption and exploitation between the west and the rest.

Midnight Cowboy

A better film than my rating would suggest. Much better. The thing is, even though the film is full of carachters with some, if not a great deal of good qualities, all told, not a single one of them comes out as somebody I would want as a friend (Does that go for humanity in general?). It is an indictment of New York, of Texas, Miami and the roads in between them. There is beauty in the ugliness, and I was wiping tears away during one scene, but I think a lot of it was to do with the squandering of humanity and the frustration of falsehood that was getting to me, like when my dad died, as much as love of Rizzo. A must watch film

Midnight In Paris

I didn't review this at the time of watching, but I know I was blown away by it. I am not a huge Woody Allen fan, I think he is way overated, nevertheless, this is beautiful, funny, intriguing. It's what we watch films for.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

The film which, for me at last, saw several of the stars become truly established. Anna Kendrick, Zac Efron, Adam Devine and Aubrey Plaza have all done absolutely fantastic work before. Now it's like shelling peas for them. Confident post-teen slightly stoner slightly rom com packed to the gunnels with great culture references. At last - a great week at the pictures.

Mike Bassett: England Manager

Definitive football film. How this articulates everything that is crazy and wrong and compelling about the game and the treatment of it, from within, from the fans and from the media. Ricky Tomlinson is perfect, and the cast back him up by dissecting football personalities present and past. I suppose this carries extra meaning to me, I am such a cynic about football. English studios make some brilliant films!.

Miller's Crossing

This is a decent film. I, personally, can not say it is a genre classic, though some would disagree; the dialogue was there, the noir was noir can get, the actors, especially Jon Polito played their part,s but a complex set of relationships, ergo plot, lost all credibility with the scenes at the nominal location. Just impossible, it would never happen that way once, let alone twice. .

Million Dollar Baby

Two films, you just have to watch it to see what I mean

That was my original review, a brief holding sentence, thrown away when I initiated this diary, drawn from what is always fuzzy memory. I realise that watching these films again pays dividends in terms of not just satisfaction, but in the delight of discovery - hell I genuinely could not remember any of the detail, and to say that Hilary Swank is just the most believable Maggie and that Clint Eastwood plays the best Clint Eastwood probably does not emphasise enough how good they are in this.

I said it was two films? Yes it is but those films are connected by a plait of threads that strengthens and colours the entire narrative. A quite beautiful piece of movie-making and worthy winner of the accolades

A Million Days To Die In The West

I know this wasn't perhaps the best acted film ever, that the situation comedy may have been contrived, blah, blah blah, nevertheless I liked the cast, enjoyed the film, found it kind of believable, pretty funny and would love to watch shit like this all the live long day. I also think there were some genuinely touching moments, but what do I know?.

Minions

Sorry fans, but I never quite got on with Despicable Me (Russell Brand gets on my tits), Whatever, given my reticence, this turned out OK for me, with arguably the best animated rendering of real places that I can remember seeing since Shaun The Sheep, if not eva. It kind of has that family friendly irreverence that provides an edge, albeit not dangerously sharp, but if you are looking for mayhem in London, check out Paddington first.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

I turned the telly off twenty minutes ago and I’m already marking this down. I just sat on the couch and had a totally enjoyable time watching this comedy film version of SAS Rogue Heroes, and I never got bored for a moment. If I were a German I would hate it. Dominic Sandbrook and Tom Holland might not use it as source material for The Rest is History. The Marx Brothers would have used custard pies instead of an infinite store of fatal weapons wielded with total impunity by indestructible allies. What was the body count?? Look, I know I shouldn’t but it was slapstick fun. I love Archer, I really enjoyed this. Don’t let snootiness change your rating!

Mirror Mirror

What a guilty pleasure. There is not much to find wrong with this movie, and a great deal that is most praiseworthy. It won the costume Oscar, fair enough, if I were a girl I guess I would just love that aspect of it. For me it took a story we are all familiar with and gave it a huge slant without being disrespectful. Like Hook it delivered established characters with an interesting, but above all credible and amusing story. Julia Roberts, Nathan Lane and especially Armie Hammer were genuinely hilarious without resorting to shock or childishness. I would have to ask a six year old, but I presume it has its genuinely scary aspects as well, the surreality is like 60s Eastern European. I am sure the creators of the original story would approve entirely. Sumptuous, funny and credible. Good film.

PS Bean's late appearance does no harm whatsoever, and the Bolly end? – Brilliant!

Watched it a second time- even better!

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Green is the new Bonham Carter. Was the topiary in the garden cut by Edward Scissorhands? Was this X-Men for eight year olds? Look, It wasn't so bad, but even for childish fantasy there seemed some lack of believable continuity. Still, Samuel L Jackson kept his part of the deal, but right now I feel like marking it down a couple of little notches. I will. Six point eight is still a good film, but it is one of those borderline ones when you could have read the précis, revised the quiz stuff and dug out Mrs Miniver or something. We are spoilt for films, I know. .

Mission: Impossible 5: Rogue Nation

This is actually a spoof of the series, Simon Pegg is exactly what you would expect, like a Chuckle Brother, despite which, this is a film that is quite a reasonable add to the watch list. Go and watch Spy, or especially Kingsman for a better version of this kind of thing, but don't write this off because of the excellence of them.

Moana

Disney by numbers. God knows what the budget was, you have your tough little princess hero, your cute animals, your suddenly bursting into motivational songs, nothing offensive, it almost gets boring. YET IT ISN'T!! What is wrong with all that when it is done as brilliantly as this? I love the way I only recognised perhaps five names on the credits, that this team have delivered another truly spectacular animation. Honestly, when she is climbing that cliff I was clutching my balls with fear! It is not Tangled but neither is it insert any Disney animated feature from 1972 to 1988 here. You see, they have got the formula right, and I really believe that there is some ethical input going into these now. I'm not talking about the right-onism of Wall-E or The Good Dinosaur but are the suits actually saying We are doing a Pacific movie, go to the South Seas, talk to people, run with the celebration of it all? (I have no evidence to back that up, it's just a feeling). This is FUN, dare I say more than Kubo?.

Money Monster

I can unreservedly recommend Money Monster. Terrific concept, superbly structured, beautifully balanced tragi-comedy. Along with the ever watchable George Clooney and Juliet Roberts, I really really hope Jack O'Connell gets what he deserves for this, a seat at the Best Supporting Actors' table along with Mark Rylance and JK Simmons. The thing is, it taps into feelings that I genuinely harbour, apart from which it genuinely had be guessing at it's direction. Was that an homage to Trailer Park Boys half way through when Kyle waves his gun through the air and shouts "Fuck Off"? Great film.

Moneyball

Terrific film, half story, half documentary with a fascinating story. I would really love to know if Claudio ranieri has watched this.

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Monsters; Dark Continent Year: 2015 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Tue 5 May 15 Starring: Johnny Harris Director: Tom Green

This might just be a better film than I imagined. It was not the roaring, explosion filled, monster fest I anticipated, although it did not lack for monsters and roaring and explosions. It had the feel of American Sniper meets The Day After Tomorrow on 8 mile and, has left me wondering was it an anti-war film. I think it was. SPOILER ALERT: If you want monster action you WILL be disappointed. If a film makes you think about it afterwards, that may indicate that it has merits unrealised. Mmmm....

I was going to say it had a lot of Godzilla about it and damn, Gareth Edwards was Executive Producer.

I should have realised and articulated this prior to going to the discussions, but say you took every monster out and replaced them with, say, camels, it would have made no material difference to the film.

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The Monuments Men Year: 2013 Mark: 7 Watched: Sun 16 Feb 14 Starring: George Clooney, Kate Blanchet, John Goodman, Jean Du Jardin, Matt Damon Director: George Clooney

Falling almost into the bracket of 'good for quiz purposes', This provides a fascinating look at the choices we face in war time, and the values we place on things on life in general. Definite moist eye moment in the hospital, all star cast, like Last Vegas, except its not in Las Vegas and they are getting shot at and the actors are 25 years younger (at least) and just about everything else. For some reason I found it hard to grade this film, but we'll stick at a tenous 7, for a film which maintained the interest and informed.

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Moonlight Year: 2016 Oscar nominated Mark: 6.8 Watched: Thu 9 Feb 17 Starring: Trevante Rhodes, André Holland, Janelle Monáe, Ashton Sanders, Jharrel Jerome, Naomie Harris, Mahershala Ali Director: Barry Jenkins

Brokeback Mountain meets The Wire and looses some zip in the process. I was bored shitless by Boyhood, and this has a similar feel to it, though it is redeemed by a reasonably interesting story arc. I have to ask myself "is it an anti-gay thing on my part", and the answer is "don't be stupid". That I find the overtly gay scenes discomforting is because I am heterosexual, that I don't give it a stellar mark is because that's the same mark I would have given it had it been a heterosexual relationship. It doesn't make me homophobic anymore than preferring prawns to anchovies makes me somehow bad - it's just a matter of taste. I can't help thinking this film may have been accoladed with six Oscar nominations because of its colour and sexuality rather than it's content. It is still a decent, particularly well-intentioned, film; just not my bag, that's all.

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Moonrise Kingdom Year: 2013 Mark: 9.5 Watched: Sun 17 Jan 16 Starring: Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, Bob Balaban Director: Wes Anderson

This may be the most beautiful movie I have ever watched. In case you didn't know Wes Anderson makes films with deep vivid pastel colours, loads of lateral and vertical panning, and his subjects are often straight faced but indocyncratically hilarious (watch his films, if you like one, you'll like them all). This is my second favourite of his films (I will always love Rushmore ).

This is the film which The Royal Tennaumbaums wanted to be. It gives you hope in human nature, it makes you love (and forgive) kids and it makes you love a lot of adults. The stellar cast all do what they wanted to do, and that is be part of a great, funny, non-patronising film which makes the world a better place. .

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Mosquito Squadron Year: 1969 Mark: 6.9 Watched: Thu 18 Dec 25 Starring: David McCallum, Suzanne Neve, Charles Gray Director: Boris Sagal

Let’s face it. The question is:

“what can we do to sequel The Dambusters?”
“I know – 633 Squadron!”
“Then what?”
“Err Mosquito Squadron starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore?”
“Yes, but those two haven’t been born yet. We can recycle loads of old footage, appeal to national pride, lots of stiff upper lip and all that, a bit of lurve, a lot of heroism, Jerry gets it up up his tunnel.”
“Jeez, The Italian Job and Butch Cassidy won’t stand a chance against this tour de force”

The thing is though, I rather enjoyed watching it! If this is an old film I’m a decade older. It’s an old film, more in spirit than year of production.

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A Most Wanted Man Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sun 14 Sep 14 Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Rachel McAdams, Willem Dafoe, Robin Wright, Director: Anton Corbijn

I had not heard of this film until I bought the ticket, and had no idea what to expect. A pleasant surprise is what I found, spooks, Germany and overcast to damp, I thought straight away it was very like something John LeCarré would have written. Philip Seymour Hoffman, in what must have been his last role was really good, and the film somehow managed to transfer complex plot in an understandable way. If you liked Smileys people and The Constant Gardner you'd like this. It was John Le Carré.

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Moulin Rouge Year: 2001 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Tue 15 Apr 14 Starring: Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman, Jim Broadbent Director: Baz Lurmhan

7.5 is getting to be a bit of a catch-all. Terrific film with some absolutely outstanding musical numbers. Euan MacGregor has such a beautiful voice and the sets are huge. The drama can be just a bit prolonged in places, but the thread holds together enough to make this platform for colour and sound the full package.

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Mr Burton Year: 2025 Mark: 8.4 Watched: Sat 15 Nov 25 Starring:Director:

What a good film, from the perspective of both history, philosophy and entertainment. I love the way Richard Burton was not painted as some saint or Welsh Hero, and the slant on Toby Jones’s Mr Burton. A thoroughly good guy encapsulating how no good deed goes unpunished.

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Mr Turner Year: 2014 Mark: 3.5 Watched: Fri 7 Nov 14 Starring: Timothy Spaul Director: Mike Leigh

The moment I saw the posters go up for this I was agog with excitement, it being a Mike Leigh biopic about a seminal English artist, just the kind of thing I like.

What a disappointment. It was, in effect, a two and a half hour death scene, but played out over seeming unrelated locations lead by a Timothy Spaul who was not a million miles away in dialogue from Barry in Auf Wiedersein Pet a million years earlier with just a slightly different accent and a penchant for grunting which lost freshness after two minutes.

’Art’, is demonstrably beset by pomposity. People’s physical perceptions have not altered significantly between 1890 and today, yet Van Gogh only sold 1 of over 2000 artworks in his lifetime. What makes him such a fuckin’ genius now? Mental perceptions, that’s what, cognitive dissonance, the Emperor’s new clothes. That Carly Johnson’s Rhythm Of The Trees won a place in a Manchester Fine Arts exhibition says a deal about art and value. That the academy president Glenys Latham doesn’t “ feel in the least embarrassed ” and sold the daubing of a four year old to a buyer in the United States for over £400 says something about which I find most chilling about human nature. Is this person a lying criminal, or does he genuinely think that his perceptions of ‘art’ trump mine? You can’t have it both ways.

When the New York Museum of Modern Art hung up a painting upside down for six weeks, did anybody who had anything to do with it, as a curator or an observer shyly say “ whoops, you got me there ”? NO – they are currently running a whole exhibition by the same artist (Henri Matisse).

The ‘value’ ascribed to art is 99.9% that placed upon it by brokers of what is a finite resource in a consumptive world, the Charles Saatchis and snotty critics, supported by hoards of simpering sycophants who really believe what they are told. I have never once said that Turner’s work is poor (I quite like it), but what I am saying is that it is difficult to get a reliable appraisal of paintings, ‘cos most of the time it is just arty and bullshit.

What bought about this digression from the topic, the film. Dunno. I would not recommend you pay to watch this film, and if you are bored after 30 minutes, don’t blame me if you sit through the next two hours. Hell you might even like it!

Rant over!

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Mr. Deeds Goes to Town Year: 1936 Mark: 9.8 Watched: Thu 6 Oct 16 Starring: Lionel Stander, Gary Cooper, Jean Arthur Director: Frank Capra

Pete Docter, Ken Loach, Wes Anderson, The Coen Brothers, Dexter Fletcher and Frank Capra. These are the guys who make the films I most look forward to. Capra is the original, the daddy of them all, the bloke who has a style and runs with it, to make beautifully witty observations on human idiocy, incorporating the most lovable protagonists fleshing out heart-rending story arcs. I've just described this wonderful piece of art.

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Mrs. Brown's Boys D'movie Year: 2014 Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 14 Jul 14 Starring: Brendan O'Connell Director: Ben Kellett

There was something quite refreshing about this. £3 million budget, critically rejected, 9 mil at the box-office so far, a little self conscious, nevertheless, funny, endearing, with an ability to retain investment the longer it went on. There was a Wilhelm scream on the bridge, but that is a good thing. There was a barrister with tourretes, I think more in a fishing for laughs rather than an homage to Not Another Teen Movie which failed a little, nevertheless the breaking of the fourth wall varied from expected to genuinely becoming. A caper, not quite in the league of The Parole Officer yet one which provided a nice evening at the flicks, and an antidote to Transformers 4 which ran a little too long.

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Mrs. Miniver Year: 1942 Oscar Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 5 Jul 14 Starring: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon Director: William Wyler

I let my guard down for this, therefore thoroughly enjoyed the stereotype characters and the general British Stiff Up Lip. Story above Cinematography makes this far more entertaining than Gone With The Wind

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Mud Year: 2012 Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 26 Oct 15 Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sheridan, Reese Witherspoon, Jacob Lofland, Sam Shepard, Ray McKinnon, Sarah Paulson, Michael Shannon, Joe Don Baker, Paul Sparks Director: Jeff Nichols

A very very solid seven, i.e. It was not weighed down by any expectation, therefore having taped it from film four, it provided an entertaining night in. All aspects of the film were spot on, it is a reflection on how good modern films generally are. Two members of the Boardwalk Empire cast were there, and all cast members have a degree of backstory. I know it doesn't make any difference to the value of the film, but it has some fascination!.

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The Mummy Year: 1959 Mark: 5 Watched: Sun 1 May 16 Starring: Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing Director: Terence Fisher

I did not watch this all the way through, but I watched it long enough for the giggle, but really, I suppose I could have seen it out, but there are better things to do. If you love this kind of Hammer Horror stuff, this is the dog's, but it's just too OTT for me. Very corney, hence quite amusing.

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Mutiny on the Bounty Year: 1935 Oscar Mark: Sort Watched: Sort Starring: Sort Director: Frank Lloyd

Sort

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My Fair Lady Year: 1964 Oscar Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 15 Aug 15 Starring: Rex Harrison‡O, Audrey Hepburn, Marni Nixon, Stanley Holloway, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Jeremy Brett Director: George Kukor‡O

After 40 minutes I gave up the fight and started enjoying it. Rex Harrison is crazy funny, Audrey Hepburn is, frankly, rubbish (it should have been Julie Andrews), The dubbing is laughable, the songs can go on a bit, but, you just can't resist good old fashioned values!

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The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! Year: 1988 Mark: 10 Watched:Starring: Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Ricardo Montalbán, George Kennedy, O. J. Simpson Director: David Zucker

One of the best comedy films ever made, and arguably the best comedy concept. I will go to my deathbed having had a richer life because of the Police Squad franchise.

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The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear Year: 1991 Mark: 9 Watched:Starring: Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Robert Goulet, George Kennedy, O. J. Simpson Director: David Zucker

I have just flicked through the Wikipedia summary and realise I have to watch this again. And I will enjoy doing that

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Naked Gun 33?: The Final Insult Year: 1994 Mark: 8 Watched:Starring: Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Fred Ward, George Kennedy, O. J. Simpson Director: Peter Segal

I have just flicked through the Wikipedia summary and realise I have to watch this again. And I will enjoy doing that

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The Naked Gun Year: 2025 Mark: 7.6 Watched: Fri 1 Aug 25 Starring: Liam Neeson, Pamela Anderson, Paul Walter Hauser, Kevin Durand, Danny Huston Director: Akiva Schaffer

A retrospective review, I went to see it with Jake on its release, and I think we both agreed. Liam Neeson was a pretty perfect choice,, but the bar was to high to clear despite a creditable attempt. The thing was, it was a fun film to watch but they squandered all the best bits in the trailer (and they were very good bits).

I’ve only just noticed how simialar the names of Liam Neeson and Leslie Nielsen are

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Napoleon Dynamite Year: 2004 Mark: 7.5 Watched:Starring: Jon Heder Director:

To review

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National Treasure 2; Book Of Secrets Year: 2004 Mark: 8 Watched: Fri 1 Mar 13 Starring: Nick Cage, Sean Bean, Ed Harris, Helen Mirren, John Voight Director: Jon Turteltaub

Was this really an 8? – I can't remember.

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Natural Born Killers Year: 1994 Mark: 8.6 Watched: Wed 9 Mar 16 Starring: Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Tommy Lee Jones, Robert Downey Jr. Rodney Dangerfield, Tom Sizemore Director: Oliver Stone

Mickey and Mallory Knox are without a doubt the most twisted depraved pair of shitfucks it has ever been my displeasure to lay my god damn eyes on. I tell you these two motherfuckers are a walking reminder of just how fucked up this system really is.

I must have just watched this for a third time, and there a parts I don't remember seeing. Very hallucinatory, decent story and absolutely top notch carachters from the six main actors. Juliet Lewis is really something special and Woody Harrelson has really carved himself a rock-hard persona. The last time I saw it was a long time before I started keeping records, and I gave it a ten. I now realise that it is not quite that, it is still a beautiful and engaging piece of work, and I would thoroughly recommend this to anybody. It's an 8.6.

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Need For Speed Year: 2014 Mark: 4.5 Watched: Wed 2 Apr 14 Starring: Aaron Paul, Imogen Poots, Aaron Paul Director: Scott Waugh

Ah, go on then. The trailers were awful, the morality despicable, nevertheless. It was a big film, with stereotypical yet enjoyable characters and it was a reasonable watch at the pictures.

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Network Year: 1976 Mark: 8.5 Watched: Thu 8 Oct 15 Starring: Peter Finch‡O, Faye Dunaway‡O, William Holden, Robert Duvall, Beatrice Straight‡O Director: Sidney Lumet

Another theatrical (in the literaral sense) masterpiece from Sidney Lumet. This is just a superb dissection of celebrity, greed, ambition, sycophancy, power and pure human weakness all wrapped up securly in non-rip irony and labled with humanity.

I will admit to being cynical about watching a 70s film dealing with these topics, yet, given that the sex did feel a little awkward, it was like being on a stage, with an age old story driven by superb dialogue and, in Faye Dunaway, William Holden, Robert Duvall and especially Peter Finch, four lead actors which never lagged in terms of grabbing one's attention. The Birdman of its time. (That is meant to be very high praise).

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Nice Guys Year: 2016 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Thu 9 Jun 16 Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice, Matt Bomer, Margaret Qualley, Keith David, Kim Basinger Director: Shane Black

Ella said "This is what you go to the movies for" and I could not agree more. Two hours of buddy movie with the right balance of action, plot and comedy. Gosling and Crowe hit it off with some hilarious dialogue; the latter is actually perfect for his part. I am wondering if some of the anachronisms regarding the music were deliberate. IMHO it is an important film in that it is the first film of its kind that I have seen which takes on the car Industry in this way, hinting that many facets of it and America's obsession with it are perhaps not cool

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The Night Manager Year: 2016 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Wed 10 Dec 25 Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Laurie, Olivia Colman, Tom Hollander, David Harewood. Elizabeth Debicki, Tobias Menzies Director: Susanne Bier

Fell into a binge watch and am now asking: Is one sit binge watch of six episodes lasting nearly six hours a film? Yes it is. Therefore it is here. It sits as a single entity, the production values were big screen, the cast A list, it got me and I’m happy it did. Well worth a night in. I must admit that I am not going to get embroiled in subsequent seasons.

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Nightcrawler Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 6 Nov 14 Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Riz Ahmed, Bill Paxton Director: Dan Gilroy

Yep, this ticks the boxes. The only thing that fans of American Psycho might not like about this film is that one might imagine it to be a little derivative. That said, Jake Gyllenhaal is absolutely superb as Patrick Bateman (Louis Bloom really!), The arc is rock solid, maintaining interest throughout, You want to know where it is going without having any idea what the little scamp is up to. L.A.? Who’d want to live there?.

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Nine Lives Year: 2016 Mark: 9.2 Watched: Tue 6 Sep 16 Starring: Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Garner, Robbie Amell, Cheryl Hines, Malina Weissman, Christopher Walken Director: Barry Sonnenfeld

Good at the start, and got even better, one of the most enjoyable films of the year. I think maybe you have to have a talking cat at home to actually understand this film, but if you do, and you just love Kevin Spacey, this is the film for you. It works as a comedy, it works as a story, it blindsided me beautifully, just awesome.

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No Country For Old Men Year: 2007 Oscar Mark: 8.3 Watched: Fri 10 Jun 16 Starring: Javier Bardem, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Kelly McDonald, Woody Harrelson Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

The Cohen brothers do this so well. I have got to watch this again to see if my memory serves me well

My memory did not serve me so well, or it doesn't stand repeat watching as well as I thought it might. Not withstanding it is a wicked piece of film, with an absolutely outstanding crew, that Roger Deakins should have been a shoe in for cinematography, that it is almost definietly better than my reating suggests, there is no avoiding the fact that I was pausing it for a sleep or to make a cup of coffee, and in pure enjoyment terms it wasn't as briskly measured as say, Fargo or as funny as Hail Caesar! Still brilliant though!

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No Escape Year: 2015 Mark: 6 Watched: Wed 9 Sep 15 Starring: Owen Wilson, Lake Bell, Pierce Brosnan Director: John Erick Dowdle

If Gravity was an inverted version of The Poseidon Adventure, then this was the lateral version. Spoiler alert: here is a good idea for a screenplay:

Everything seems hunky dory, but after about 10 minutes..

Whoops! What's happening??? something goes wrong

Pierce Brosnan is Ricky Gervais

Whoops! What's happening??? things get worse

Meanwhile our protagonist(s) navigate there way through ever increasing jeopardy, discovering depths to their resilience and ingenuity that they had never realised they possessed

Our protagonists, against all odds, reach safety by the skin of their teeth. Phew! That was close, aren't we all happy now?.

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Noah Year: 2014 Mark: 5 Watched: Sat 17 May 14 Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins Director: Darren Aranovsky

Phffff... Well it was fairly spectacular, but perhaps half an hour too long, went a little flat for that 30 minutes, didn't give one much background into the bible story, and left losts of shit unresolved. Did I see a flock of birds at the end of the film (ie more than two)?.

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Nocturnal Animals Year: 2016 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Wed 9 Nov 16 Starring: Amy Adams, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Shannon, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Isla Fisher, Armie Hammer, Laura Linney, Andrea Riseborough, Michael Sheen Director: Tom Ford

I presume almost definitely a film which falls into the 'better than my rating would suggest' bracket. This was a thought provoking and deliberately paced movie that left me wandering what had just happened, with the magnetic Amy Adams being a goody, a baddy, a bitch, a victim, a concerned individual, a superficial poseur, a narrator, a puppet? Who bloody knows!!. Not a bad turn in the whole cast, and definitely one in the Christopher Nolan department of me perhaps needing some guidance on, especially some of the subtleties of, this intriguing movie.

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Nomadland Year: 2020 Oscar Mark: Sort Watched: Sort Starring: Sort Director: Chloé Zhao

Seen this, but not fresh enough to write about right now in 2025

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Non-Stop Year: 2014 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 5 Mar 14 Starring: Liam Neeson, Lupita Nyong'o, Julianne Moore Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Ever since Airplane spelt the death knell of the blockbuster disaster movement it has been impossible to watch a smorgasbrod of humanity arrive at a terminal and load their lives and luggage onto an imperilled vehicle. Ah, that Elmer Bernstien music repeats over and over again, and you are just waiting for the old lady to translate jive for the air-hostess.

The Disaster Movie is Back! All the clichés are reunited and held together in a story which takes place almost entirely in the aircraft cabin, when a well gnarly Liam Neeson who has as much metephorical baggage as a man should not be allowed to bring within ten miles of an airport runs around between the bogs and the cockpit carrying the twists and turns of the plot along with the lives of the 150 passengers* (including the frightened 8 year old girl, the love interest, the muslims, the brothers, and the old lady (who probably speaks jive). Phew! I'm still hyper.

*149 – George Zip died this morning

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Not Another Teen Movie Year: 2001 Mark: 7 Watched: Thu 10 Jul 14 Starring: Chris Evans, Chyler Leigh, Jaime Pressly, Paul Gleason Director: Joel Gallen

I couldn't help but get sucked into this relentless barage of grossness and (deliberate) cliché. I guess it needed doing, even if most teen movies parody themselves anyway. I feel really guilty but it was more or less thoroughly entertaining with some real LOL moments. Now I've marked and reviewed it I am keen to see what the critics have to say...

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Now You See Me 2 Year: 2016 Mark: 6.6 Watched: Mon 18 Jul 16 Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Daniel Radcliffe, Lizzy Caplan, Jay Chou, Sanaa Lathan, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman Director: Jon M. Chu

Stellar cast perform a somewhat eyebrow cocking heist movie. I am vexed by the fact that magical trickery is just not a medium for film. I mean, it would be impressive it were live, but this left me thinking "Oh they've done that in the edit suite". There is also a lot of me thinks that if I were celebrating the launch of a mobile phone or New Year's Eve in London, I would not have quite the level of enthusiasm depicted my the thousands of people in the film for my occasions being gatecrashed by some very good club turns.

Whatever, I suppose it'll do if you like Daniel Radcliffe. .

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Now You See Me: Now You Don't Year: 2025 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Fri 5 Dec 25 Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, Morgan Freeman, Justice Smith, Dominic Sessa, Ariana Greenblatt, Rosamund Pike Director: Ruben Fleischer

Harmless fun. Magic tricks in movies always seem a little tongue in cheek, nevertheless, I guess it works in its own universe. This film’s portrayal of wealth is nothing like as cloying as Crazy Rich Asians, its depiction of unbridled genius not quite up to the annoying level of Suits, another two hours I’ll never get back, but I don’t really want it back, I enjoyed it!

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Nuremberg Year: 2025 Mark: 9.5 Watched: Tue 2 Dec 25 Starring: Russell Crowe, Leo Woodall, John Slattery, Mark O'Brien, Colin Hanks, Wrenn Schmidt, Lydia Peckham, Richard E. Grant, Michael Shannon Director: James Vanderbilt

Ridiculous trying to compare this with Wicked, Choral, and Anchorman. I feel like I’m going over the top with three of the last four films I have watched at the Odeon in Taunton, nevertheless, I feel this is the third absolutely top notch movie I have had the privilege to watch whilst sheltering from the wet December and making the most of my Unlimited card. Russell Crowe obviously does a fine job. My gut feeling is that Rami Malik did precisely what the director wanted. Competent but vulnerable, ‘good’ but with limits, in other words, human. We’ve established what you are, now we’re just haggling about the price. And that is the whole point of this film. If Douglas Kelly had been born 21 years later he might have been Philip Zambardo (look ‘em up).

Back to the film. A very different kind of great to Bill and Ted. I’m going to look up the Oscar odds now. Not on the list. Zootopia 2 is. Feck off!

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O Brother, Where Art Thou? Year: 2000 Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: George Clooney Director: Coen Brothers

To review

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Of Mice and Men Year: 1992 Mark: 6 Watched: Starring: Gary Senise, John Malkovic Director:

To review

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Oliver! Year: 1968 Oscar Mark: 5.6 Watched: Sat 16 Jan 16 Starring: Jack Wild, Kathe Green, Ron Moody, Shani Wallis, Oliver Reed, Harry Secombe, Jack Wild, Hugh Griffith, Joseph O'Conor, Peggy Mount, Leonard Rossiter, Hylda Baker Director: Carol Reed

I have to say that a line drawing for the first six minutes does not put one into the most positive state of mind for a film, consequently the first half of this film was spent wishing it along. Very recognisable songs, I was never a fan of Harry Secombe as a comedian or a singer, and once you have seen Wicked and Avenue Q all this Lionel Bart stuff seems kind of dated, with songs not seeming to move the plot along that much and just seem to be put in for set peieces which lead to an inconsistent mood to a movie that lasts over 150 minutes. I also don't like cockney cants.

Now, that's the bad bits out of the way, I am colouring it in the morning after and imagining I saw a film which carries a lot of history with it, some magnificent set pieces, some curious irony in the humour, some carachters which develop along with the film, a second half that has genuine arc and good performances from Jack Wilde, Oliver Reed and an absolute beauty from Ron Moody, who potentially had the most difficult job in portraying what seemed written as a slightly uncomfortable stereotype.

It is so refreshing to see those good old-fashioned values where, for instance, a stupid woman (yeah I know.. tautolgy) refuses to do the bidding of her drunken boyfriend and gets the good old crack the bitch deserves, then justifies it by singing a song about how that's all OK (As Long As He Needs Me ). A shining example to all relationships.

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Olympus Has Fallen Year: 2013 Mark: 7 Watched: Fri 11 Apr 14 Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Ashley Judd, Melissa Leo Director: Antoine Fuqua

This is, given that it could have been terrible, frikkin' awesome! An entry into my top 100 quotes: .Mike Banning (ie Gerard Butler) to Kang "Why don't you and I play a game of fuck off. You go first....".

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On Deadly Ground Year: 1994 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Mon 22 Dec 14 Starring: Steven Seagal, Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John C. McGinley, R. Lee Ermey, Kenji Nakano, Billy Bob Thornton Director: Steven Seagal

Watched this the same night as Heat and gave it half a point more. How is this possible, a Steven Seagal vanity project that had multiple Razzie nominations and a win for Seagal as director? Because I enjoyed it, it had a good story, marverlously theatrical carachters, and a surprising, out of context in terms of action, ending which put me right and the back foot and confirmed that this film, although technically flawed is GOOD. Look, it's a fucking pantomime, accept it as that and stop whinging on about delivery from a bloke who is better at martial arts than he is at Shakespeare.

NB, our Jake had real trouble getting hold of this, just the same as me with An Incoinvenient Truth and Whatever Happened To The Electric Car, which I still haven't got yet.

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On The Waterfront Year: 1954 Oscar Mark: 7.2 Watched: Mon 18 Jan 16 Starring: Marlon Brando‡O, Karl Malden, Lee J. Cobb, Rod Steiger, Pat Henning, Eva Marie Saint‡O, Fred Gwynne, Martin Balsam Director: Elia Kazan‡O

I suppose the question is, why have I not given this multiple Oscar winning film, with a great cast and solid message, a higher mark? There is something doesn't feel quite right about it, and I subsequently read that it was based upon a Pulitzer winning exposé of 1949 and people say it is Elia Kazan's excuse for going front of the American comitte of Dicks and fingering all his 'mates' . It feels like that as well. Look, I didn't hate it, it's just that I don't think it was that good, the acting was a little stilted (I liked Karl Malden and Lee J. Cobb was himself), but I just felt that it wouldn't have fallen the way it did.

SPOILER ALERT

Don't forget, Terry Malloy was a renowned fighter, Johnny had KILLED his brother. He would not have been turned against by the populous, the kids on the roof would not have blacked him. Some films get the message across from the heart. This one seems to lack the genuine soul. The shouting over the klaxons incident was stupid, and they overdid the smoke in the park. A bloke gets crushed at work and there is no inquiry?? It is a good speech in the taxi though!

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Once Upon A Time In America Year: 1984 Mark: 6 Watched: Wed 2 Mar 16 Starring: Robert De Niro, James Woods, Elizabeth McGovern, Joe Pesci, Burt Young, Tuesday Weld, Treat Williams, Jennifer Connelly Director: Sergio Leone

If asked to define the term "sprawling epic" this film was made to do just that. I watched it over three sittings, and I can't even remember Joe Pesci being in it. I presume it needs watching again. Philospophically, allthough gangsters are easy to like (Sopranos), there is a bit of me which wishes we could rise above it, and realise that the pen pushers and traffic wardens are probably much better people to have around.

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One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Year: 1975 Oscar Mark: 10 Watched: Fri 17 Feb 17 Starring: Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, Will Sampson, William Redfield, Brad Dourif, Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd, Scatman Crothers Director: Miloš Forman

Beautiful, poignant and Louise Fletcher

That was my memory of this film which I have just re-watched, and the 10 stands. This film was made in 1975, yet it could have been made yesterday, it has aged without wrinkles. I cannot immediately think of a better performance by an ensemble, and I cannot think of a film which articulates the human condition as succinctly as this. It is not the big cheifs who doom humanity, it is their little ones.

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Open Range Year: 2003 Mark: 6.7 Watched: Sat 8 Oct 16 Starring: Kevin Costner, Robert Duvall, Annette Bening, Michael Gambon, Michael Jeter Director: Kevin Costner

This was not badly put-together, but I'm confident that Dances With Wolves is the devil on its back. It seems that Costner has made a decision to do an out and out traditional cowboy story, wishing to put more emphasis on the action rather than the message, and though exquisitely located, with great actors doing an absolutely fine job, the story renders it to a technically solid, but fundamentally B, movie. It is so traditionally goodies and baddies that the very words 'spoiler alert' render further revelation unnecessary. There is no twist, no surprise, no tangential thread. Good guys, bad guys, woman, bloody revenge, I lurve you, the end. .

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Oppenheimer Year: 2023 Oscar Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Cillian Murphy, Robert Downey Jr., Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Florence Pugh, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, Rami Malek, Kenneth Branagh Director: Christopher Nolan

Solid 8. Chris Nolan makes a great job of a fascinating, scary subject.

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Ordinary People Year: 1980 Oscar Mark: 3.5 Watched: Fri 9 Oct 15 Starring: Donald Sutherland , Mary Tyler Moore, Judd Hirsch, Timothy Hutton‡O Director: Robert Redford‡O

Oh dear oh dear, where have I gone wrong? I watched this too the end because of the Oscar accolades, but call me a philistine, I just didn't see it. I disliked just about every carachter and the plot was either predictable or pointlessly hidden. Like Company Men I'm sure this film is very relevant to people who can't do without their Mercedes, but I find it just pure annoying, and an insult to anybody who is not in the top 20% of American earners.

Timothy Hutton the supporting actor? mmm, seemed like lead to me.

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The Other Guys Year: 2010 Mark: 8.2 Watched: Wed 2 Mar 16 Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Steve Coogan, Ray Stevenson, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Rob Riggle, Damon Wayans, Jr., Bobby Cannavale, Adam McKay, Ice-T, Derek Jeter, Brooke Shields Director: Adam McKay

Aww! Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg make a really funny film with some good messages tagged along. Epic cast, brilliant action. As with all Will Ferrell films (apart from Stranger Than Fiction), what the hell do you expect?.

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The Other Woman Year: 2014 Mark: 4 Watched: Mon 5 May 14 Starring: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Kinney, Don Johnson Director: Nick Cassavetes

I feel so guilty giving this just a four, but that's all it was, a pleasant enough evening at the cinema, if I'd have had a watch I would have been looking at it. Spoiler Alert. Jamie Lanister gets the shits, his hair comes out ( a bit) he grows tits ( a bit) and he walks into a glass door (twice). There is a lot of falling over and girly hugs. Just not my type of fil I guess.

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Ouija Year: 2014 Mark: 3.5 Watched: Thu 6 Nov 14 Starring: Olivia Cooke Director: Stiles White

I gave this about an hour and felt that there was nothing new going to come my way, so left to catch Nightcrawler instead. The question posed by this film is “How utterly stupid can 5 American teenagers played by twenty somethings be?” I mean you would have imagined that after three of them had died in separate, mysterious and brutal incidents that going into a house without informing the National Guard and not turning the lights on would have been low down the list of priorities.

OK, I did start a couple of times but I do that when I’m getting a jar of coffee down. If I want plot I’d rather watch a porno! Look, I’m not a fan of ‘horror’ and this is why, it is just 90 minutes waiting for someone to say “BOO!”.

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Our Brand Is Crisis Year: 2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Tue 26 Jan 16 Starring: Sandra Bullock, Scoot McNairy, Billy Bob Thornton, Anthony Mackie, Ann Dowd, Joaquim de Almeida Director: David Gordon Green

I don't know if it's because I've been watching Narcos on Netflix, but I'm getting to quite like subtitled South American stuff. Was this a comedy, a drama, documentary, a message film or some combination of all four? I think the latter, and though it might not easy to pigeonhole, the lurches between genres were not so violent as to give one altitude sickness. Sandra Bullock and Billy Bob are always a good start, it held my intrest throughout, and I am still not sure how it ended... (Actually I am 99%, but I'm not going to spill the cocoa beans here). I feel sure it is going to get mixed reviews, but I enjoyed it anyhoo. (I was right!).

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Our Kind Of Traitor Year: 2016 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Wed 18 May 16 Starring: Ewan McGregor, Naomie Harris, Stellan Skarsgård, Damian Lewis Director: Susanna White

Good cast, solid story, Stellan Starsgard was excellent, very John le Carré (he was executive producer).

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Out Of Africa Year: 1985 Oscar Mark: 4 Watched: Starring: Meryl Streep Director: Sydney Pollack

Eewww! You always feel so guilty not spunking over an Oscar winner, but I'd so much rather watch Daktari, which at least doesn't pretend to be so self-righteous

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Pacific Rim Year: 2013 Mark: 7 Watched: Fri 6 Jun 14 Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Ron Perlman Director: Guilermo Del Toro

Monster movie. A no-holds barred, no laws of science sacrosant, big tableau, loud noises, heroes and villains, colourful, mother-fucker of a MONSTER movie..... I'm not sure if the Top Gun triumphalism in parts wasn't totally toungue in cheek, I reckon if I'd have been a kid I might have absolutely loved this. Both this and Godzilla turned out in some ways better than I expected, if not quite carrying the satisfaction of intrigue or surprise within the story. I've said something like this before, but if they do a crossover film between them... Wow!

I suppose this could apply to most films, but watch it on the biggest screen you can.

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Paddington Year: 2014 Mark: 8 Watched: Fri 16 Jan 15 Starring: Ben Wishaw, Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Julie Walters, Jim Broadbent, Peter Capaldi, Nicole Kidman, Matt Lucas Director: Paul King

That turned out slightly better than I thought it would, and I thought I might enjoy it. I say I don't want to see animals farting... well it happened!, but I'll let it slide, as the film was kind of cool. I like stereotyping, and cute furry animals and Mrs Coulter and slapstick, and Paddington the bear was very believable as a part of the show, Hugh Bonneville was just right, as was his wife and I just enjoyed it. So there. Take the kids (I did hear gasps from some of them in the audience).

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Paddington 2 Year: 2017 Mark: 10 Watched: Thu 1 Jan 26 Starring: Ben Whishaw as the voice of Paddington, with Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Brendan Gleeson, Julie Walters, Jim Broadbent, Peter Capaldi, Hugh Grant Director: Paul King

There is a God, a God who looks down on my inconsequential life and ensures I have not previously written a review for Paddington 2. You see, I know I have seen it before, but since then I can’t fail but have been influenced by its top rating of ALL films on IMDB, and more importantly, the kudos it received from Nick Cage (Nicolas Cage) and Javi Gutiérrez (Pedro Pascal) in The Unbearable weight of Massive Talent, I have been fortunate enough, on the first day of 2026 to revisit it and realise. It is the most perfect film, tale, adventure, picture. Poignant, funny, a total celebration. Phoenix Buchanan is #1 in my top villains list. This film took me to another, better, happier, Watch With Mother universe where I would be happy to die, knowing I have the four best kids, Jenny, and films like this.

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Pan Year: 2015 Mark: 7.3 Watched: Wed 28 Oct 15 Starring: Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara, Adeel Akhtar, Nonso Anozie, Amanda Seyfried, Levi Miller Director: Joe Wright

I like this less now than I did when I saw it. I expected worse, it could have been much better. In terms of imagination it was terrific, Rooney Mara sufficed, Hugh Jackman could not outhook Dustin Hoffman, the story was reasonable and imaginative, the cinematography was absolutely magnificent and I enjoyed it. The trouble is, Hook casts a long shadow over the Peter Panstory. I think it may have been set up for a sequel, as there were no Lost Boys, no Darling family, no Nana and no Rufio, Rufio, Ruf-ee-oooo. Singing Smells like the Teen Spirit? Moulin Rouge did it already.

It has been set up to prequel Hook, as though Peter was just out of the age range to become Peter Banning in London, Julia pointed out that in Neverland he does not grow up. Call.

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Paper Towns Year: 2015 Mark: 6 Watched: Wed 2 Sep 15 Starring: Nat Wolf, Cara Delevingne Director: Jake Schreier

Weirdly not totally convincing teen bro/romance which didn't quite hang together but was fairly easy on the eye. It would be interesting to hear the point of view of someone who likes this stuff. .

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Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension Year: 2015 Mark: 2.5 Watched: Mon 16 Nov 15 Starring: Director: Gregory Plotkin

This is just so not my cup of tea, I was reluctant to mark it any lower, as it wasn't like it upset me, it just ahs that feel of the Benny Hill show, or Porno, like you've seen it alll before and five minutes is enough. Just another variation on 'boo' I didn't feel anything revelationary coming on so I quit it. Not that I don't like horrors, for instance Unfriended was cool, it's just that there is only so much you can do with them, and this did just that!!.

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ParaNorman Year: 2012 Mark: 8.2 Watched: Mon 30 Nov 15 Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Casey Affleck, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bernard Hill, Alex Borstein, John Goodman Director: Sam Fell, Chris Butler

I so loved this film, and I love the message when it is done right when this almost was. Was the clock tower on the Town Hall the same as Hill Valley's?.

I honestly didn't even know this was an animation, but when the Laika production card appeared and I had just watched Coraline I knew it would be good!

I particularly liked the way this film 'unfolded', the longer I watched it, the more I liked it. Beautiful

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Parasite Year: 2019 Oscar Mark: Sort Watched: Sort Starring: Sort Director: Bong Joon Ho

Seen this twice, but not fresh enough to write about right now in 2025

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The Parole Officer Year: 2001 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 25 Jun 14 Starring: Steve Coogan, Om Puri, Steven Waddington, Ben Miller, Emma Williams, Stephen Dillane, Lena Headey, Omar Sharif, Jenny Agutter, Simon Pegg Director: John Duggan

August Rush effect! Looking back a couple of days to when I watched this film, I am picking holes in it. Why? It is a very British caper movie in the great tradition, and why be ashamed of that. I noticed that Lena Hedley (Queen Cersie) was in it. When I recognised Stephen Dillane (Stannis) as the main bad guy I was never going to not enjoy this film. Right now I think I have over-rated this film. When I had finished watching it I didn't think I had. Awww crap, I feel so guilty now, but I am not downgrading!.

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Passport To Pimlico Year: 1949 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 13 Dec 14 Starring: Stanley Holloway, Margaret Rutherford, Charles Hawtry, Hermione Baddeley Director: Henry Cornelius

I just love this kind of stuff. Why? There must be some nostalgia attatched, to see Picadilly Circus in 1949 after I've been there at least half a dozen times this year is really quite special. The acting is like Carleton Theatre group. That is NOT a bad thing, it's terrific that these guys exaggerate what nowadays would be nuance. The story is great, the consequences hilarious, the true ancestor of British film and TV humour, from Monty Python through to Peep Show . Would I rather watch this than The Battle Of The Five Armies (budget $250 million)? Damn right I would.

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Patriot Games Year: 1992 Mark: 8.1 Watched: Sat 20 Dec 25 Starring: Harrison Ford, James Earl Jones, Sean Bean, Patrick Bergin, Thora Birch, Samuel L. Jackson, James Fox, Richard Harris Director: Phillip Noyce

Hey! Never have I been so relieved to see “To review” written in a field as this one. What fun. What hokum! Goodies, baddies, great actors, decent story. I started watching it with my dinner one sunny afternoon in December and thought “I must go for a walk, otherwise it’ll be dark by the time I get going”. It was inspirational in that I couldn’t wait to get back to finish it off. Now I am giving it a straight 8 but have I already marked it? I had, with a 6.5. That was definitely a disservice.

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Patton Year: 1970 Oscar Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: George C Scott‡O, Karl Malden, Michael Bates Director: Franklin J. Schaffner

I don't know how accurate a portrayal of history this was. Even the real history was only that written by the victors, nevertheless, if you want a film to give you an insight into a person you didn't know that much about who has played a critical role in the scheme of things, don't watch Enigma . Watch this instead.

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Paul Year: 2011 Mark: 7 Watched: Sun 23 Nov 14 Starring: Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Blythe Danner, David Koechner, Sigourney Weaver, Jeffrey Tambor Director: Greg Mottola

There is little to fault about films like this, good to see Jeffrey Tambor and Jaseon Bateman from Arrested Development in the same film, Nick Frost and Simon pegg do precisely what they always do, Paul, an alien, was as convincing a bit of CGI / Stop Motion / whatever that I have seen so far, and Kristen Wiig was really funny! (I thought she was Amy Adams). I love movies.

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Peggy Sue Got Married Year: 1986 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sat 17 May 14 Starring: Kathleen Turner, Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey, Helen Hunt, Joan Allen, Catherine Hicks,, Sofia Coppola Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Hard to go wrong with temporal displacement films even when they are done by non geeky people who understand the paradoxes that might be set up. Unusually I watched this over the same weekend as La Bamba (they are set in the same era).

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The People vs. Larry Flynt Year: 1996 Mark: 10 Watched: Sat 18 Feb 17 Starring: Woody Harrelson, Courtney Love, Edward Norton, Richard Paul, James Cromwell, Donna Hanover, Crispin Glover, Vincent Schiavelli, Brett Harrelson, Larry Flynt Director: Miloš Forman

Ten. I just can't see any way of justifying less, in that every department delivers, with the added bonus of a real life angle and an absolutely perfect message. How do they do it. Who is best? Woody Harelson with his absolutely believable, loveable, sympathetic and cringeingly admirable protaonist, Courtney Love being as sexy as sexy can be and timing the degeneration to the millisecond. James Cromwell as James Cromwell or the "beatific smile" of "respected preacher" Jerry Fallwell? Ed Norton - he just takes the biscuit, how he delivers the courtroom denoument without being loud, agressive or even seemingly strong. This film sums up the problems I have with facebook, and if you don't understand that I think it is likely that you never will.

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Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief Year: 2010 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sat 11 Jan 14 Starring: Logan Lerman, Alexandra Daddario, Piers Brosnan, Joe Pantiliano, Sean Bean, Uma Thurman, Steve Coogan,. Rasorio Dawson Director: Chris Columbus

Was this just more fun than Hunger Games ?
Absolutely stellar cast, one of the lads in my tutor class at Plymouth said it was his favourite film, and I've been meaning to watch it ever since. Would I rather watch this than Gravity ? Yes I would!!.

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Perfect Stranger Year: 2007 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Tue 13 Oct 15 Starring: Halle Berry, Bruce Willis, Giovanni Ribisi Director: James Foley

This just managed to keep me hanging on until three quarters of the way through I was quite intrested in, and satidfied by, The resolution. There are plenty of better films kicking about but I wasn't kicking myself about watching this. Good idea filming three different endings!.

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A Perfect World Year: 1993 Mark: 10 Watched: Mon 10 Oct 16 Starring: Kevin Costner, Clint Eastwood, Laura Dern, T.J. Lowther Director: Clint Eastwood

Nigh on a perfect film. In fact it is perfect and as an exercise in movie making, taking account of all aspects other than personal enjoyment quotioent it ticks every box, unreservedly, and it was only a personal thing which lead me to give it a 9.3. But fuck it, let's not get too precious about it. 10. Up there in the stellar regions of Steve Kidd ten films we can get really incremental, but I cannot think of a single factor, including personal enjoyment where it doesn't get top marks, as the more I have pondered it the more I relise the beauty of it all. It's a buddy movie twice, Clint Eastwood and Laura Dearn carrying the support act to Costner and T.J. Lowther's focal piece, there is a pleasant dressing of comedy, and in Costner's Butch a carachter of wide yet visible complexity who encapsulates the dilemma faced by social scientists across time and space since the get go, never mind a person's own demons. It's kind of better in that it is not a widely acclaimed film, it makes it more personal, and a film that grows with investment; for me it got better as it wore on, I really don't think there is anything not to love about it. If I were dishing the gongs out I wouldn't have given 1993's to Tom Hanks. And I truly dig Tom Hanks.

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Persepolis Year: 2007 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Sat 4 Jun 16 Starring: Chiara Mastroianni, Catherine Deneuve Director: Marjane Satrapi, Vincent Paronnaud

This is exquisite. It is an object lesson how reams of information can be loaded into stark graphics, a real story, of a real person in real places, from their own perspective, but witha perception which resonates with this viewer who has concerns about humanity. This should be on the national curiculam for Geography, history, politics, religion and ethics. With this and Ratatouillie it is putting 2007 into the vintage year bracket! This film justified the purchace of a new telly.

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Pete's Dragon Year: 2016 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Wed 10 Aug 16 Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Oakes Fegley, Wes Bentley, Karl Urban, Oona Laurence, Robert Redford Director: David Lowery

Some films (Jungle Book don't need remaking. I've never seen the original of this, but I get the feeling this is a good take. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wes Bentley? American Beauty dammit!.

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Philomena Year: 2013 Mark: 8.8 Watched: Fri 4 Mar 16 Starring: Judi Dench, Steve Coogan, Michelle Fairley Director: Stephen Frears

This is why we should hate religion. This tells the same story as Spotlight, but in a whole lot more of an endearing way, in that it exposes the institutionalised dishonesty of religion; not the cockameme people living to 900 years old in a world only 4,000 years old, but the ready acceptance of it being somehow OK to LIE to gain false advantage. I read that Sister Hildegarde was portrayed factually wrongly. Well, they must have had Sister Christina for a template, an evil, spiteful, vindictive woman, with completely fucked up ideas regarding morality and who left the world a worse place for her breathing.

As for the film? A pure delight, watching Judy Dench not being a 'national treasure', just hitting it off with (fairly serious) Steve Coogan in the ultimate buddy pairing. British film making doing what it does best, delivering a knockout punch with real humour and empathy.

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Phone Booth Year: 2003 Mark: 6 Watched: Tue 3 May 16 Starring: Colin Farrell, Forest Whitaker, Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell, Kiefer Sutherland. Director: Joel Schumacher

Reasonable concept, reasonable characters but just a little too implausible to hook me in. I quite like Colin Farrell in this, and Whitaker was preparing himself for the Shield with this role, but all the time you want to say, just go for it, nobody is that good a shot.

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Pineapple Express Year: 2008 Mark: 6 Watched: Starring: Director:

To review

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Pitch Perfect Year: 2012 Mark: 8 Watched: Thu 21 May 15 Starring: Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Rebel Wilson, Anna Camp, Brittany Snow, Ester Dean, Alexis Knapp, Hana Mae Lee, Adam DeVine, John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks Director: Jason Moore

I loved it, so fuck all you haters. Good songs, well done, A disparate group of individuals are bought together to overcome the odds through music, exploring themselves along the way, overcoming challenges and ultimately coming through in a triumphant finale. The Blues Brothers without the blues and with 'sisters'.

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Pitch Perfect 2 Year: 2015 Mark: 9.3 Watched: Fri 29 May 15 Starring: Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Rebel Wilson, Anna Camp, Brittany Snow, Ester Dean, Alexis Knapp, Hana Mae Lee, Adam DeVine, John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks Director: Elizabeth Banks

If you hated the first one, I don't think you will like this. Once again, the story is probably the least original one in the cannon, nevertheless, it's always a good one when done properly and in this film, it is. The music is quite excellent and the humour is refreshing. It seems like they are taking back PC. Racist jokes may be uncouth, but we laugh because they're based on truth . Many genuine clap moments, and almost constantly either hilarious or musically,dare I say, captivating, and the lack of originality pays dividends in that the little 'in' jokes are definitely rewarding.

I keep a penny underneath my tongue.

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Pixels Year: 2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Wed 2 Sep 15 Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Brian Cox, Sean Bean, Dan Aykroyd, Daryl Hall, John Oates, Matt Frewer, Serena Williams Director: Chris Columbus

This turned out better than I expected and kind of didn't flag much at all, Adam Sandler was Adam Sandler, Peter Dinklage, I'm afraid to say, is far more convincing as Tyrion (at which he is genius). I feel, in retrospect like marking this up. Great solid comedy with an otherwise reasonable cast, and a lovely concept. No Mario :(. And it got critically pasted. Fuck 'em I really enjoyed it.

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The Planet Of The Apes 1; Rise Of Year: 2013 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Mon 17 Nov 14 Starring: James Franco, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, Andy Serkis Director: Rupert Wyatt

I should have loved this, but having just watched Life with David Attenborough on BBC talking about Chimp Hierarchies, this still seems unconvincing in visual terms (You can tell that although they are good they are not real apes, it fails in its own Universe as I don't care how powerful the drug is, you can't learn Dick unless you are taught it somehow, and finally it fails in that the Bonobo is the bad guy. Huh?.

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Plastic Year: 2014 Mark: 6 Watched: Mon 5 May 14 Starring: Ed Speleers, Will Poulter, Alfie Allen, Sebastian de Souza, Emma Rigby Director: Julian Gilbey

The Lavender Hill Mob and the Ladykillers are better caper movies. I mean this was OK but just a little err... A little unimaginative? Was it a true story? One minute.... Supposedly. Theon Greyjoy you are truly lost now.

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Platoon Year: 1986 Oscar Mark: 6.5 Watched: Tue 15 Sep 15 Starring: Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, John C. McGinley, Kevin Dillon, Forest Whitaker, Johnny Depp Director: Oliver Stone‡O

Err.. It is tough to write about an accoladed film, that technically you can't pick fault with, that most definitely wasn't a terrible watch, but just didn't do it for me in terms of super-enjoyable. A host of then young stars make this a touchstone for connections, a huge coincidence that the last two films I've watched ( Entourage and this) could not have been more different, or further apart in time, yet both featured Kevin Dillon. Crash knocked me out when I went back to it. This didn't. But it was worth crossing off for sure. Like Canon For Strings some people love it, but, not me.

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Pleasantville Year: 1998 Mark: 10 Watched: Tue 28 Jun 11 Starring: Tobey Maguire, Jeff Daniels, Joan Allen, William H. Macy, J. T. Walsh, Reese Witherspoon, Director: Gary Ross

I don't know if this got me at the right time, but it is the best film I have seen all year. I know I watched it before, and I remember it was good, but I forgot how. I know you don't watch a film for the cinematography; like a good referee you don't normally notice it, but in this case it was the star. Along with a perfect cast performance, a fantastic story line and LOL humour and tear jerking poignancy. I guess the icing on the cake for me must have been how 'dull' people are and the hope of redemption. I should have a list of “10” Films as opposed to as top ten.

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Point Break Year: 1991 Mark: 5 Watched: Mon 25 Aug 14 Starring: Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze Director: Katherine Bigelow

The crew should have been used to make a documentary, as there are some great shots of surfing and skydiving but not much more. The plot has too many holes in it to make it believable and the hipness smacks of Poochie when introduced to the Itchy and Scratchy show, with everybody calling each other 'dude' and the hero actually being a complete cunt.

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Poltergeist (2015) Year: 2015 Mark: 4 Watched: Fri 29 May 15 Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Jane Adams Director: Gil Kenan

Not that I am anti-horror movie, it's just that it needs something more than this film gave to satisfy me, at least. The first part of the film was reasonably engaging, with some genuine “boo” moments, but sometime approaching the door which said “Paranormal department” It became a bit of an eye roller. If Sam Rockwell had been meant to play a regular dad he wouldn't have been Sam Rockwell, and one could not help thinking if his Seven Psychopaths or Billy the Kid going to burst out. I was contemplating leaving the film, and writing this, I'm glad I didn't, as in the end scene I think I have witnessed the most curiously naff wrap of all time, in terms of the family's temper whilst driving away, like a closing credits from Police Squad .

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The Postman Year: 1997 Mark: 5 Watched: Fri 14 Oct 16 Starring: Kevin Costner, Will Patton, Larenz Tate, Olivia Williams, James Russo,Tom Petty Director: Kevin Costner

This might have easily made a seven if it hadn't been so interminably long. Running at over three hours, this was not Dances With Wolves. The length gave one time, plenty of time, to ponder the absurdity of it all, so consequently by the time it got past two hours, patience wore thing and pretty soon we were skipping chunks and not really missing anything. The film won a slew of Razzies, and in a way, that is fair enough. There will have been plenty of worse films made in 1997, but with a nod to the budget and the squandered pedigree this does deserve to be recognised as a perhaps well meant, but over-indulgent piece of film making. On the positive side.. It looked nice, Kevin Costner can be eminently watchable... I'm marking it down, of the 200 minutes at least 100 were wasted.

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Predator Year: 1987 Mark: 6.9 Watched: Mon 3 Oct 16 Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura Director: John McTiernan

Another classic, which gives the impression of being very low budget (and let's face it, you do not pay Arnie for his thespian skills). I will write the figures in at the end of this*. Another of those films you have to watch to at least say you have watched it, another film that is entertaining in its use of very predictable scenes, story and dialogue. I watched it because Michael McPartland, quiz hero, said it was beter than Alien. He is absolutely right, as it is altogether less gloomy and it doesn't depend on crass stupidity from practically every member of the cast!

* $15–18 million.

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Pride Year: 2014 Mark: 10 Watched: Mon 15 Sep 14 Starring: Dominic West, Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton, George MacKay, Ben Schnetzer, Paddy Considine Director: Matthew Warchus

Don't read this if, like me, you think you may be prone to disappointment engendered by weight of expectation....

Half way through the ninth month of the year and this is my best film so far of the 50 or so 2014 releases that I have seen ( Edge of Tomorrow aka Live Die Repeat and Lucy are also in my top three), and the first one to get a straight ten. Don't forget that I mark these films on personal enjoyment. I do try to weight them according to where I watch them, along with mood, and do not try to judge artistic value, just the buzz it gives me; and this was a blast, from the opening titles, through the first bars of What Difference Does It Make, with a great story (The underdog one) fabulous endearing cast, some truth, liberal embellishment for story telling purposes, personal investment (It's about gays and miners; I was a miner).

It employs every cliché in the book, perfectly scored music to leave no ambiguity, the familiar tropes (I won't go into the story, I never do, if you want the story watch the film) of idealism, resistance, smooth story arc and glorious triumph, oh man it nails them all. If you liked Yam Tam Kipper Bang, Made In Dagenham, A Captain's Tale, Arthur's Hallowed Ground, Nuts In May, Gregory's Girl, That Sinking Feeling, Withnail And I, all those films which so represent that perfect British idiosyncrasy and humor - you've got it. I said to Ella on her 21st birthday today that it probably would have Imelda Staunton in... IT DID!!! Bill Nighy was there and probably half a dozen other Ministers Of Magic (Thanks Julia for pointing that out).

This film should be compulsory viewing in schools. I am sure, it will turn many a bigot into someone who may accept gays a little more and trust the police, the press and government a little less, and that has to be a good thing.

Sorry to spoil it for you...

PS Dominic West; what a performance. He is not the 'star', just one of the firmament, but I gave him top billing because I recognised him, but didn't. Six seasons of Jimmy McNulty and I thought "Who is that???"

PPS I have looked at other people's thoughts on this film. I am not alone.

***** recommended.

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Pride & Prejudice Year: 2005 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Thu 15 Oct 15 Starring: Kiera Knightley, Matthew Macfadyen, Brenda Blethyn, Donald Sutherland, Tom Hollander, Rosamund Pike, Carey Mulligan, Judi Dench, Rupert Friend Director: Joe Wright

I gave up resisting after perhaps 45 minutes and started enjoying this girly costume fest. I wasn't really comfortable with the treatment of the vicar, but on the plus side the normally slightly anoyingly languid Donald Sutherland was super. I am going through a phase of seeing actors in Pairs of films, this time it was Carey Mulligan straight aftere Suffragette .

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The Prince of Egypt Year: 1998 Mark: 6.9 Watched: Sat 2 Apr 16 Starring: Val Kilmer, Ralph Fiennes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Stewart, Helen Mirren, Danny Glover, Steve Martin, Martin Short Director: Simon Wells, Brenda Chapman, Steve Hickner

Well it's a much more enjoyable version of the story than Exodus: Gods and Kings. It would probably have rated a little higher if it hadn't treated the Christian aspects of this folk-tale with such reverence; I mean.. It's not real you know, the Red Sea did not part in some miraculous way, there was no competition between the Abrahamic Gods and the Egyptian ones. The music, especially When You Believe compensates a tad.

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The Princess Diaries Year: 2001 Mark: 3 Watched: Sat 2 Aug 14 Starring: Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews Director: Garry Marshall.

A turn off after ten minutes. The thing is, I had watched Not Another Teen Movie a few days earlier, and the main gag of that film was taking the glasses off and letting the hair down on a 'geeky' girl. I find that a little insulting. Like Edward Scissorhands, it's probably not aimed at me. Didn't stop me loving lots of other gay shit though.

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The Producers Year: 1967 Mark: 6 Watched: Tue 21 Jan 14 Starring: Zero Mostel, Danny Kaye Director: Mel Brooks

Watch this once if only for Springtime For Hitler . Over the top and potracted comedy, very much of its age.

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The Purge: Election Year Year: 2016 Mark: 6.6 Watched: Tue 6 Sep 16 Starring: Frank Grillo, Elizabeth Mitchell, Mykelti Williamson Director: James DeMonaco

I think that this film, as of writing, is the most enjoyable one I have ever walked out of. When one has a tight schedule and is aching for a Subway, something has to give, and today it was the last 50 minutes of this. It's not my cup of tea and given that the whole premise is quite piss-potical (like groups/villages/towns/cities, ergo countries would not organise mutual defence associations, ergo governments, beggars belief), once the bad-ass bitches came for whatever they wanted with a whole new kind of crazy, I just heard the honey-oat calling.

So if you liked the first you will like this, but make get your food and beer in advance.

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The Purple Rose Of Cairo Year: 1985 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Sun 15 May 16 Starring: Mia Farrow, Jeff Daniels, Danny Aiello Director: Woody Allen

A complete relief after watching Annie Hall and Manhattan, at least for me (yes, it looks like I am having a Woody Allen season). About this film. It works, a yearning fantasy set in a fictional New York with carachters you are rooting for, and if not the ending you expect, it is at least thought provoking, perhaps even to the extent that you imagine your own. I know why Woody Allen numbers this amongst his favourite films, it is because he is story telling to the eager, not reflecting upon the spoilt. Couple this with Midnight In Paris.

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Raging Bull Year: 1980 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 19 Sep 15 Starring: Robert De Niro‡O, Cathy Moriarty, Joe Pesci, Nicholas Colasanto, Frank Vincent, John Turraturo Director: Martin Scorsese

First off, if I was marking this film out of ten for quality rather than enjoyment it would ace a ten, not least because it has taken the stance of a real biography, as opposed to the hagiographies one tends to see, or the outright diss pieces which crop up. Now I know why Robert Di Nero is so highly regarded. This is arguably the best film performance I have seen from any actor or actress. He actually put on 60 lbs! All the accolades this film gets, as the best film of the 80s, one of the greatest films of all time, etc., are well deserved.

It gets a mere 8 from me because I felt so uncomfotable watching it, but not in a Borat, cringing kind of way. The fight scenes are brutal, apparently De Niro was extraodinarily good at boxing, and the carachters are all flawed, especially Jake LaMotta. There seems to absolutely no constraint in the laying bare of the life of a very dangerous and often unpleasant protagonist.

Joe Pesci, in his first film role was perfect, and I was so pleased to call John Turraturo (uncredited) sitting at a table for two seconds.

Do not ever imagine that Gascogoine, A Dangerous Game, Seve, or Grace come remotely close to this in terms of value. I enjoy cream doughnuts and a bottle of red wine as much or more than a Tuna Sub on brown bread with a light mayo. It doesn't mean they are better.

This film is an example of how to deliver a true story. Can't believe we never watched it sooner.

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The Railwayman Year: 2014 Mark: 8 Watched: Sun 12 Jan 14 Starring: Colin Firth, Nicole Kidman, Jeremy Irvine, Stellan Skarsgård, Hiroyuki Sanada Director: Jonathan Teplitzky

Another "message" film. It is almost four films as there are different threads, albeit of the same life, but whatever. This trumps 12 Years A Slave on several counts. The carachters are more representative of both sides of a conflict and all sides of human nature. It has, at least for me, a more satisfying resolution, a stronger narrative and it doesn't give the game away with the title. This film says any of these carachters could be you, whearas none of us would ever have been a kidnapper in 12 years, oh certainly not. So why is that film odds on for the Oscar?
You will require patience for this film, it can be very introspective, broody and British for considerable periods. It is not one to watch for light relief. Expect Colin Firth to be confident in his apparent lack of confidence on screen, forgive Nicole Kidman for ever going out with Tom Cruise, and Jeremy Irvine's portrayal of the young Arthur Lomax with any other best support contenders; you'd be forced to agree it stands up. This film seems to improve with hindsight. Go on then – **** !.

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Rain Man Year: 1988 Oscar. Golden Bear Mark: 9 Watched: Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise Director: Barry Levinson

I'd forgotten how good this was. Classic Hans Zimmer music, and Dustin Hoffman even helps Tom Cruise play a convincing part

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Raizing Arizona Year: 1987 Mark: 8.2 Watched: Sat 21 Jan 17 Starring: Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Trey Wilson, John Goodman, Frances McDormand, John Turturro Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

This definitely came out better second time around, so I will try to list the reasons why.

The Cohen brothers have a style, a humour, that improves with familiarity, and in this film, at the time of writing over 30 years old, we see them cutting their teeth, those off eye level wide angles, the hilarity of the ordinary, the finicky attention to detail of the protagonists, and the beautiful contributions by Carter Burwell and Roger Deakins. I mean those two guys should be co headliners.

Nic Cage: Cage is definitely the most enigmatic of actors, is he genius? is he jester? is he both? I still don't know, but this role was made for him, and with Holly Hunter as the perfect foil he perhaps has his finest hour as an actor adding to the script until the likes of Adaption, Matchstick Men, and Lords Of War. But you have to know him to appreciate this. Seriously!

I guess as I get older I become more inured to the tricks that people use to hook you in. I really can't stand Ant and Dec and the instant gratification transparency of modern TV, but when film makers pace their delivery, and deliver it with care and attention to aestheticism, the pay off becomes well worth the wait. hope I am not just understanding that, I think I am beginning to feel it. And, SPOILER ALERT, Trey Wilson died at the age of 40. his monologue with Cage and Hunter constitutes, I would hazard, the justification for being a brief candle?.

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Rampart Year: 2011 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sat 20 Dec 14 Starring: Woody Harrelson, ice Cubem Steve Buscemi, Sigourney Weaver Director: Oren Moverman

Here is a Freebie. If you want Woody Harelson watch Natural Born Killers, If you want a reflection on policing in LA watch the entirety of The Shield, If you want a night in watching a film I guess this'll do.

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Rango Year: 2011 Oscar animated Mark: 7.3 Watched: Mon 25 Jan 16 Starring: Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Bill Nighy, Abigail Breslin, Alfred Molina, Harry Dean Stanton, Ray Winstone, Timothy Olyphant, Stephen Root, Ned Beatty Director: Gore Verbinski

Like An American In Paris this absolutely excels on the technical side of things, regarding picture and movement it is truly wonderful. The story is not fantastic, it seems like a load of people have sat round the table and said "What references can we use?, and let's squeeze them in wherever we can ", rather than, "OMG OMG OMG I've just thought of something which I love which would fit in perfectly here ". I never liked Chinatown or Avatar as much as everybody else anways. Still a very good movie though, well worth the watch, just don't spoil yourself by watching Up, Coraline, Para Norman, Ratatouille, and all three Toy Stories in the preceding month!

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Ratatouille Year: 2007 Oscar animated Mark: 9.5 Watched: Tue 19 Jan 16 Starring: Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano, Ian Holm, Janeane Garofalo, Peter O'Toole, Brian Dennehy Director: Brad Bird

The foodie film I have been waiting for! It makes Burnt look burnt. It also deducts a half a point off of that film in that it delivered the peasant food joke better, and sooner. The pictures and movement vary between superb and uncannily realistic, the heroes, the villains, the redemption, I wish I could write the recipe down, but there is no way this could be replicated by anything other than a genius backed up by a genius team. I thank Julia for letting me look after her rats. I thank the mice in my kitchen, you have all added to this wonderful experience. It contains one of my top ten film moments. Anybody Can Cook

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Rebecca Year: 1940 Oscar Mark: 7 Watched: Sun 16 Aug 15 Starring: Laurence Olivier, Joan Fontaine, Judith Anderson, George Sanders, Leo G Carroll, C. Aubrey Smith Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Quite a jolly film that maintained my attention all the way through, kind of glad I could wallow in it alone, it has that stiff upper lipness about it, exaggerated theatre, it really is quite becoming. Joan Fonteyn is a peach.

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Regression Year: 2015 Mark: 7.6 Watched: Sun 11 Oct 15 Starring: Ethan Hawke, Emma Watson, David Dencik, David Thewlis Director: Alejandro Amenábar

A good first half, a great second half, a superb true-life psychological thriller in which.... wait for it... Emma Watson nails it! Not only is the film a great watch in it's own right, it creates believable horror, and is the second film this year to provide real insight into the workings of the human mind (the first being, of course, Inside Out . What a pair!

I'm glad this only gets 7.5% on Rotten Tomatoes. It kind of adds substance to my theory that people won't believe the resolution. Watch Compliance, and if you don't understand why am calling you a self deluding fuck, you are a self deluding fuck.

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Remember the Titans Year: 2000 Mark: 7.6 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Director:

Write reviews within 24 hours! A pretty stock, stirring, sports film. Recommended

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Renoir Year: 2012 Mark: 7 Watched: Sat 19 Nov 16 Starring: Michel Bouquet, Christa Theret, Thomas Doret, Vincent Rottiers Director: Gilles Bourdos

All the gorgeous scenery on the Riviera, a slew of great acting performances just manage to edge this into the 7 zone. I feel a little short changed in that it was really The last two years of Renoir's life with the emphasis on his model. I enjoyed it BUT I learned nothing about his paintings, and, it may be art but, those gaps between sentences did get a little ..... annoying! I would have preferred a straight documentary.

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Rent Year: 2005 Mark: 10 Watched: Fri 2 Dec 16 Starring: Anthony Rapp, Adam Pascal, Rosario Dawson, Jesse L. Martin, Wilson Jermaine Heredia, Idina Menzel, Tracie Thoms, Taye Diggs Director: Chris Columbus

I have never been as blubbery during a film! This was, I believe my third watch of it, and as I remember I loved it, but I just didn't realise quite how much. Since I watched it last time I have become more familiar with all the songs, and I guess these had everything to do with it. After I left Ella in Stuart Fl, from Miami down to the Keys I had the soundtrack on, and I had not felt this way about in car entertainment since I had the Austin Maxi and fitted the car stereo and was driving into London listening to The Clash. What this film does is, I believe, not just captures the essence of the musical, it magnifies it. Musicals tend to aim at two showstoppers, one for the end of each half, numbers which leave you absolutely and totally in awe, making you stand up and cheer and clap and saying "wow that's the best thing I have ever seen". In Rent it seems like every song is a showstopper. As the chords for each one chime in with the recognition it is like a new delight, like when you watch Jersey Boys you think at the end of the first half there can't be any more great songs left in the catalogue but you are left open mouthed at the strength and depth. Wowzer!

So, songs apart, 'cos tunes alone can't carry a movie.. The story is kind of unremarkable. That is not a negative, what I'm trying to say it is a tried and trusted formula, which is conducted more than adequately; this has a great deal more in common with I Daniel Blake than might be intuitively considered, SPOLER ALERT employing the tried and trusted trope of the exploited underdogs overcoming the man and their own demons through bravery, initiative and unity against the odds. It is not happy endings all round, but there is resolution in a conclusion that garners ones thoughts, sympathy and fundamental satisfaction (I didn't say happiness there!). As for the dramatis personae, each single one of those eight people stood on the stage at the beginning has got it goin' on, each one has a narrative that is a feast, arching through the whole film that had me hooked from the backlit silhouettes and that simple piano.

Look - I know, this is no way going to be everybody's cup of tea - but it IS mine, absolutely, totally hook line and sinker. It's in my top ten. It's in my top five. It will fade, but I just now that cosied up on that Friday night all on my lonely self and indulging myself in a coconut, a mango and a bottle of Chianti and this heart rending tragedy I have rarely, if ever, enjoyed a film as much.

And if you get offended because I say that's 'gay', well fuck you.

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Repo Men Year: 2010 Mark: 6.8 Watched: Mon 7 Nov 16 Starring: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Liev Schreiber, Carice van Houten, RZA, Yvette Nicole Brown, John Leguizamo Director: Miguel Sapochnik

Why didn't I watch this all the way through. I gave this the best part of half an hour, and could have stayed the course, but Jake came up with the food, so we just started soemthing fresh instead (Rising Sun, as it happens). I am going to read the synopsis now, and I predict I will not have missed that much. Forrest Whitaker does confuse me a little bit, with his blinking and his false smiles. .

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The Revenant Year: 2015 Mark: 6.7 Watched: Sat 26 Dec 15 Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio‡O, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, Will Poulter Director: Alejandro G. Iñárritu ‡O

Unlike other films that are critically acclaimed that I dislike, this one feels quite different, in that if it walks away with a mountain of awards I would not be surprised in the least, specifically cinematography, actor and support were absolutely top notch. The thing is, it just didn't do it for me story-wise, a little bit like Gravity, it looked great but lacked the most important ingredient, an arc which kept me hooked in. Jake loved it. I can see that.

SPOILER ALERT: Now if DiCaprio had been a true revenant, that might have been something. Was he???.

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Ricki and the Flash Year: 2015 Mark: 3 Watched: Wed 9 Sep 15 Starring: Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline Director: Jonathan Demme

Ewwww. Ewww ewww ewwww ewwww ewwwwwww. Right from the clumsily played, overly produced, sycophantically filmed, gratingly saddening opening nanosecond of the first chord of American Girl the countdown clock had started. I don't know if it was meant to be ironic, but if it was, the irony went on and on. I think I managed about 10 minutes, and after the most tortuous day at the pictures ( The Visit and the only just passable No Escape ) I had had enough and ran out screaming. Look, I don't personally hate Meryl Streep, (She was fucking fantastic in her previous film, Into The Woods ), but her roles are eminently detestable sometimes ( Out Of Africa for instance, and today, for me, she sucked balls. Not the clean shaven, perfectly symmetrical, pompadoured testicles of some young, chiselled and freakishly hygienic Norwegian demigod, ... Oh no, These were disgustingly hairy and diseased Syrian camel balls. Ewwww.

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Ricochet Year: 1991 Mark: 6 Watched: Sun 27 Apr 14 Starring: Denzill Washinton, John Lithgow, Ice T Director: Russell Mulcahy

Well, with a plate of nacho's and a gin and tonic this makes for a nice, non-challenging Saturday night. Intresting watching a pre-oscar Denzill Washington looking buff, and John Lithgow doing what John Lithgow does in his psycopath hat. Don't look for plot continuity, crediblity or philosophy in this film. Help yourself to polarisation of characters and 'action'at Yiou know it's a nice thing about films that so many of them turn out to be so entertaining. When I compare this too another film which springs to mind The Edge it differs in that it does not take itself too seriously, consequently works within its own 'cartoon' universe. It says 'look, we know you know, therefore we are not insulting your intelligence, just fill your face and enjoy'.

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Ride Along 2 Year: 2016 Mark: 7.6 Watched: Wed 3 Feb 16 Starring: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Ken Jeong, Benjamin Bratt, Olivia Munn, Bruce McGill, Tika Sumpter Director: Tim Story

I really jolly film, with everything you'd expect, nothing more, nothing less, good use of Grand Theft Auto (not that I've ever played it), if I told you exactly what happened I wouldn't really be giving anything away. It works, like 21 Jump Street, like 48 Hours, like a million other films .

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The Ridiculous 6 Year: 2015 Mark: 4.8 Watched: Tue 22 Dec 15 Starring: Adam Sandler, Taylor Lautner, Rob Schneider, Luke Wilson, Nick Nolte, Danny Trejo, Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi Director: Frank Coraci

I felt, after 30 minutes, that this film was not taking me anywhere, so I abandoned it in favour of Lilyhammer . The fact is, there is so much to watch nowadays that one can afford to be picky, and sure enough, I left this derivative and slightly cringworthy film in favour of something totally immersive. Result! Is it a stellar cast, or is it just Keith Lemmon, The Movie for the Saturday Night Live cast? (I think so). It wasn't the worst thing I've seen this year by any stretch, but once they got to number 3 and the retarded kid I just felt that the best bits of this film have been done a million times before, and the worst bits had me looking for the remote.

Watch Blazing Saddles or Evil Roy Slade instead.

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The Right Stuff Year: 1983 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Starring: Ed Harris Director:

To review

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The Riot Club Year: 2014 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Wed 1 Oct 14 Starring: Max Irons, Ben Schnetzer, Natalie Dormer (will probably add to this list as they all get famous) Director: Lone Scherfig

I imagine that the cast in this will go on to greater things, (I recognised Ben Schnetzer from Pride and a few of the others set bells ringing), but that's nothing to do with assesing this film.

I can't say it was thoroughly enjoyable, the characters were largely far too repulsive for that, but I reckon it was quite an excellent pitch at describing priveleged young men, in that some, without doubt, are disarmingly talented and charming whilst others are complete dicks. I also like the angle that this doesn't end good for general welfare. It would have been intresting to see if the landlord's daughter accepted the £27,000. Watch it and you will see what I mean. Go see, in fact double it up with Pride and be proud of British film making, if not quite proud of some aspects of humanity.

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Rising Sun Year: 1993 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Mon 7 Nov 16 Starring: Sean Connery, Wesley Snipes, Harvey Keitel, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Kevin Anderson, Mako, Ray Wise, Stan Egi, Stan Shaw, Tia Carrere, Steve Buscemi Director: Peter Kaufman

A pleasant enough piece of self-indulgence on Sean Connery's part, he thankfully stayed short of giving himself the power of Gandalf, but let's face it, he is reasonably watchable, Wesley Snipes eminnemtly so, and so despite the confusing geography and somehat idealistic stereotyping I found this a reasonably intresting/enjoyable watch. When one is presented with the best wraps on Earth to munch through during a large chunk of a half decent yarn, it's hard to go that far wrong.

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Road to Perdition Year: 2002 Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: Tom Hanks Director:

To review

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Robin Hood Year: 2010 Mark: 7 Watched: Fri 31 Jan 14 Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Oscar Isaac, Mark Strong Director: Ridley Scott

Pleasantly good. a very different take on The Robin Hood Story, very thin on history, Russell Crowe's accent is quite as unusual as people have warned, nevertheless it was a pretty solid watch. They should really make a sequel. In fact this film was only the prequel; I would willingly pay to see the follow-up.

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Robin Hood: Prince Of Theives Year: 1991 Mark: 9 Watched: Tue 13 Dec 16 Starring: Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Christian Slater, Alan Rickman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Geraldine McEwan, Mike McShane, Brian Blessed, Michael Wincott, Nick Brimble, Harold Innocent, Walter Sparrow, Daniel Newman, Sean Connery, Jack Wild, Daniel Peacock Director: Kevin Reynolds

Slam dunk 9! I was surprised to read the negative reviews, but the thing is, it's just a classic story and this is done with vigour and humour, a lot of it's in the North of England, Kevin Costner doesn't need to shpw the world what a talented actor he is, Alan Rickman is a total blast, so all told it's a great night in with a swashbuckling adventure that I thoroughly enjoyed watching for a third time.

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Robocop Year: 2014 Mark: 4 Watched: Mon 3 Mar 14 Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Samuel L Jackson, Michael Keaton Director: José Padilha

Two hours I won't get back. I'm afraid that playing I Fought The Law by the Clash and Samuel L Jackson being bleeped out of his “Motherfucker” could not redeem it. Some films make the science work for them ( Power Rangers ); in this it is a constant glossing over of what would happen. Transformers had constant humour, this was... I don't know what it was, kind of as ploddy as his stupid boots, I mean, for crying out loud, why didn't they give him some rubber soles? I'm not saying it was a total disaster, just that it feels like, seen that, done that, intrigue me, make me gasp, make me identify with the compelling protagonist. I can see the Robocop meets Short Circuit sequel being a cure for insomnia

Nice to see Michael Williams (Omar Little) getting a good part in a film whilst Marianne Jean-Baptiste plays the same role as CCH Pounder does in The Shield . (I thought they were the same person, except the latter is 15 years older).

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Rocky Year: 1976 Oscar Mark: 9.1 Watched: Starring: Sylvester Stallone Director: John G. Avildsen

What is their not to like about the film that has yielded more memorable moments on such an obviously small budget. The fruit, the steps, the sides of meat... Adrienne!!!

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Role Models Year: 2008 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Director:

Write reviews within 24 hours! I didn’t think I was going to enjoy this half as much as I did. It was pefect couch watching, I loved it, Christopher Minz Plasser was well good and on re-reads, I reckon Paul Rudd makes decent films. 60% of the time, it works every time

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Room Year: 2015 Mark: 6.6 Watched: Wed 30 Dec 15 Starring: Brie Larson‡O, Jacob Tremblay, Joan Allen, Sean Bridgers, William H. Macy. Director: Lenny Abrahamson

Well, it held my attention. This film has very competent aspects, notably Brie Larson is remarkably convincing, eliciting incredulity and curiosity from the viewer, I do believe deliberately. Having said that, she needs to be convincing, as one does scratch one's head at her character's seemingly cheap submission to her situation. I think there me a better film than my enjoyment quotient may indicate, and for me at least, it certainly became a more compelling a watch proportionate to the time watched .

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The Royal Tenenbaums Year: 2001 Mark: 7 Watched: Wed 14 Jan 15 Starring: Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Bill Murray, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Danny Glover Director: Wes Anderson

Worth a watch for the cast alone. I love watching Wes Anderson Films, but sometimes I feel like I am missing something, that they are a platform for beautifully fully saturated cinematagrophy and marvellously quirky carachters rather than a story. Oh come on though, it was fun to watch, I especially liked Gwyneth Paltrow and Gene Hackman.

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Runaway Jury Year: 2003 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 20 Feb 14 Starring: John Cusack, Rachel Weisz, Jack Nicolson, Dustin Hoffman Director: Gary Fleder

Absolutely made for John Cussack as an affable jock with hidden talents. This story swerves rather than lurches its way not too violently or circuitously through a satisfying 2 hours which is, thankfully, not the 12 Angry Men I expected it to be. Must read some more John Grisham books.

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The Running Man (1987) Year: 1987 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 24 Dec 25 Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, María Conchita Alonso, Richard Dawson, Yaphet Kotto, Jesse Ventura Director: Paul Michael Glaser

Really? I don’t remember 2017 having such a mid-80s feel to it. Arnold Schwarzenegger has not quite got the nuance of a Dustin Hoffman, Marlon Brando, or Keith Lemon, his co-stars were unbelievably unbelievable, the whole premise was a reasonable idea, but it’s execution completely ridiculous. I guess they got human nature about right, but those short quips from Arnie, “He had to split”, He was a real pain in the neck”, I’m not into politics”, and, of course, I’ll be back - a ten year old could write them. Ludicrous, badly written, poorly set and filmed, and a b list cast. I fekkin’ loved it

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Rush Year: 2013 Mark: 8.5 Watched: Sun 5 Jul 15 Starring: Chris Hemsworth Director: Ron Howard

A combination of actual history, original footage, superb mimicry on the part of the actors and magical storytelling makes for a film that is both captivating and illuminating.

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Rush Hour 1 Year: 1998 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Director:

Write reviews within 24 hours! Well, the nice thing about writing reviews for Rush Hour is there is not a great deal of imagination needed. Loyal,conscientious and incredibly lethal Hong Kong cop (Jackie Chan) is sent to investigate a case in Los Angeles and by dint of the LAPD clumsily trying to keep both out of the picture, gets buddied up with jive ass but not much else black buddy LAPD detective (Chris Tucker) in this Bret Ratner action flick. With an abducted girl. And an English Villain. What the hell do you think it’s gonna be like??

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Rush Hour 2 Year: 2001 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Director:

Write reviews within 24 hours! See Rush Hour 1 and alter the plot a smidge.

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Rushmore Year: 1998 Mark: 9.7 Watched: Thu 20 Mar 14 Starring: Jason Schwartzman, Olivia Williams Bill Murray Director: Wes Anderson

How did this film get to me? I cannot for the life of me pin down what was so good about this film other than …. it just sailed along and got more involving, Max, the 17 year old about who this film was about (I was going to say 'protagonist' but I keep thinking of Stuey Griffin) was awesome, without doubt being as daft as, yet much more believable Napoleon Dynamite. My guess is Napoleon Dynamite came first, this came second and Lost in Translation came third, each acting as inspiration for its successor – now to check: Oh oh, 2004 and 2003 respectively. The reason I said this because this is Bill Murray's best role bar Ghostbusters but in that he had the script, in this he was just fucking great!!

OK, Shwarzman is Sofie Coppola's cousin (she did Lost in T., where, for my money, Bill Murray tries to reprise this character, but seems staler. NB. “In 2012, Slant Magazine ranked the film 22 on its list of the 100 Best Films of the 1990s. According to ShortList, it is one of the 30 coolest films ever” Hey!!! I told you. PS, I watched it again four days later, and loved it just as much..

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Sacro GRA Year: 2013 Golden Lion Mark: 6.3 Watched: Thu 8 Dec 16 Starring: Assortment of Italian individuals Director: Gianfranco Rosi

This time in a fortnight I will be within the confines of the GRA, the Grande Raccordo Anulare, the Rome ring-road. It was awarded the Golden Lion at Venice. Wow! What could go wrong? Quite frankly I just didn't get it. It was like a fly on the wall documentary of people who live in Rome in the early 21st century, and as such it was moderately interesting. But that's all. I'd rather watch snow leopards! If you wish to watch an arty critique of mankind's relationship with his surroundings dig out something from 35 years ago and watch the life changing Koyaanisqatsi. If you want the kind of candid, motorway/urban exploration of motive but with a stronger narrative thread and a very compelling protagonist watch the utterly brilliant Locke (honest, it feels like it was shot by the same crew!).

In it's favour this film did have a somewhat hypnotic endearment about it, but, once distracted, I read the other reviews and realised I wouldn't miss much by by-passing the last 30 minutes.

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San Andreas Year: 2015 Mark: 7 Watched: Fri 29 May 15 Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Art Parkinson, Paul Giamatti. Director: Brad Peyton

OK, let's put this out there. This is no Being John Malkovich . I think you can just about guess what you are going to get when you get your ticket torn with this one, so you have a cast which read the script and look suitably excited/stressed/determined/moody and a story which could be described is a short sentence and a chief protagonist who's jaw dropping dereliction of duty is exceeded only by the spectacular special effects. And there is the redeeming factor. I would seriously consider this to be the most impressive quality I have seen for a film of this genre. I just might be persuaded to go back and watch it in 3d and/or Imax. Perhaps it caught me in a good mood, but it is one of those rare films which I consider well worth the watch just because of the picture itself. There, I've said it.

's up for Art Parkison (Rickon Stark) who provides some half decent humour and steals most of his scenes.

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Sausage Party Year: 2016 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Fri 23 Sep 16 Starring: Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hil, Bill Hader, Michael Cera, James Franco, Danny McBride, Paul Rudd, Edward Norton, Salma Hayek Director: Conrad Vernon, Greg Tiernan

Interesting to watch this next to Ben Hur (2016) as two very very different, I cannot possible imagine how they could be more different, films receive the same mark. This was the major message movie for me in that I suppose it delivered the parable I wanted to hear, exposing and extolling the bonobo side of humanity in a full on pastiche using supermarket food to stereotype, praise and pillory society. I thought it was going to be annoying and juvenile. It was, but it was much more than that, beating one down with grossness and parody. .

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Saving Mr. Banks Year: 2013 Mark: 10 Watched: Mon 11 Nov 13 Starring: Tom Hanks, Emma Thompson, Colin Farrell, Paul Giamatti, Jason Schwartzman, Bradley Whitford, Annie Rose Buckley, Ruth Wilson, B. J. Novak, Rachel Griffiths, Kathy Baker Director: John Lee Hancock

This was the second film I watched using my Cineworld Unlimited ticket. It justified the purchase.
Look:- I know a film can be spoiled by weight of expectation, but I am confident that if you are a 55 year old film lover, who hates life in general but loves some gay shit, you will not be disappointed. Emma Thompson reprises her 'Stranger than Fiction' role with witty aplomb, Tom Hanks is absolutely convincing - I mean you forget you are watching Tom Hanks, and the material they have to work with is unarguably magnificent.
I am not going to dwell on the fascinating but very different threads that dovetail this narrative, but when Tom Hanks goes of on one in the latter stages of the film, he delivers arguably the most perfect insight into film making ever recorded. (Don't expect him to start throwing cherry bombs, you might not even notice it, but if you do I want to be your friend!).

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Saving Private Ryan Year: 1998 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Thu 13 Nov 25 Starring: Tom Hanks, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Tom Sizemore Director: Steven Spielberg

I enjoyed a Tom Hanks double this evening (My first Cineworld ticket use was a Tom Hanks double!, Captain Phillips and Saving Mr Banks). I thought I had gone soft enjoying Forrest Gump so much prior to this, and given that this only gets a 7.8 perhaps that may be so. The thing is, it is an awesomely spectacular film, nevertheless; how much mileage can you get out of a battle scene? Forrest Gump was patriotic for a USA with warts, without demonising the enemy. This lauded US bravery and whilst the odd bit of philosophy trailed off, it definitely demonised Germans. When are we going to realise we are all the same? Watch The Stanford Prison Experiment or JoJo Rabbit. If you want to understand how truly nuts humanity is when it comes to power and conflict just listen to any amount of podcasts like A Brief History of.., The Rest Is History, In Our Time etc etc., they are all ‘free’ on BBC iplayer. The crazy thing I was going to re-watch My Fair Lady, but I thought I’d lighten things up a bit. Addendum: No source has the vested authority to quantify comparison between the Oscar winner for this year, Shakespeare In Love, and this, Saving Private Ryan. I enjoyed Shakespeare in Love a load more, and timing of release, bribery, and Harvey Weinstein don’t come into it. IMHO they got it right with Spielberg for best director. Cinematography is not the sole criteria for a best film.

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Schindler's List Year: 1993 Oscar Mark: 10 Watched: Mon 19 Oct 15 Starring: Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsley, Ralph Fiennes, Caroline Goodall Director: Steven Spielberg‡O

Is that the best film I have ever watched? There is a very strong case to make that it was. Why? A multiplicity of reasons, a few of which I will attempt to outline.

Story + Characters. Let's get those out of the way first, in that we have the classic threads of buddy movie, love, clock countdown ticking tension, surprise, redemption, fulfilment, a complete seamless arc of narrative with a great goodie and a superbad baddie. Written like that it makes it sound like Die Hard, almost belittling it, because trust me, this is not just a history, it is as much an exploration of human nature as Trading Places or 12 Angry Men .

A score by John Williams that is unlike any other, but captures the mood, spirit and emotion throughout, a standalone soundtrack that never for a moment drowns out the film

Three lead actors who deliver their best, all of them outside of what you would expect, yet managing to convey everything a director could dream of for the parts

Every frame is a work of art in itself, Wes Anderson must look and think, "My God - that's just in black and white"

Massive poignancy - I mean a sympathy which is elicited in a growing wave throughout the film that eventually absolutely crashes and washes through the screen and drowned me in emotion

It has forced a re-evaluation of my grading system. Perhaps it hasn't - It is a ten for enjoyment but like Oskar says " not that kind "

I will go and read up the accuracy, but really, I am sure I don't need to - That's what story tellers do and I accept it fully

Normally I would diss a message film for appealing to hypocritical humanity, assuaging their doubts and making them feel good about themselves. I don't care with this. Fuck stupid humans, I have come to understand that we are all capable of great wrongdoing and not recognising it, to such an extent that we build up a subconscious defence against it. The thing is I don't lie to my friends. I don't lie to my enemies. The same cannot be said for most of them. That's why i don't have many friends.

It's been an interesting week

I thought it was a good film (in case I was being ambiguous)

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School For Scoundrels Year: 1960 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Director:

I do love Ealing comedies, and this did not fail. In a way it made me feel very queasy, in that I see myself as Henry, but without the revenge, and with no possibility of ‘revenge’ on my horizon. Look, I know, it’s ridiculous, but it’s FUNNY, Terry Thomas is worth watching on his own, and that black and white, post war British snobbishness is a comedy gold-mine. I was two years old when this was made. The world has been going to shit since. Is that my fault? :)

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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Year: 2010 Mark: 9 Watched: Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Chris Evans, Anna Kendrick, Alison Pill, Brandon Routh, Jason Schwartzman Director: Edgar Wright

To review

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The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty Year: 2013 Mark: 9 Watched: Sat 23 Nov 13 Starring: Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig Director: Ben Stiller

The more you ponder on this film the better it gets. I read that somebody compared it to Field Of Dreams . Go on then, I'll accept that!! I'm not saying it is (that would be a high bar to jump), just that I can understand the comparison. Capraesque.

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The Secret Of Kells Year: 2009 Mark: 6.7 Watched: Wed 16 Nov 16 Starring: Brendan Gleeson Director: Tomm Moore, Nora Twomey

Very beautiful I'm sure, with a lush soundtrack, An Oscar nomination in 2009 but IMHO this was never going to beat Up in any department. That is a little unfair in that Up Is one of my favourite films ever, and I know this film tries hard, but it just feels a bit two much like bohemian Irish grads called Siobhan and Declan have got a pot load of funding to make something arty, and they have not really grasped that any universe needs a logic within itself. I'm dissapointed with muself for not liking it more .

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Secretariat Year: 2010 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sun 12 Jan 14 Starring: John Malkovich, Diane Lane Director: Randall Wallace

Good quiz background film, Malkovich is no longer mal, With of good story like this it must be tough to actually make a bad film of it, so this is a nice evening in.

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Self/Less Year: 2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 23 Jul 15 Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Natalie Martinez, Matthew Goode, Victor Garber, Derek Luke, Ben Kingsley. Director: Tarsem Singh

I have a feeling this may have been an eight, but since I saw it I have been all topsy turvey. I walked in and there were loads of women in, and I did not know what to expect, so I thought it was going to be a romance.. eeewww! As it 'appened it was a well put together film around a fascinating premise, Ben Kingsley IS awesome and Ryan Reynolds, the object no doubt of the female attention kicked ass. Recommended for a home viewing at least. Oh, Tarsem Singh – I might have guessed.

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Selma Year: 2014 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 9 Feb 15 Starring: David Oyelowo, Tom Wilkinson, Tim Roth, Common, Carmen Ejogo, Oprah Winfrey, Cuba Gooding Jr., Giovanni Ribisi, Wendell Pierce, Dylan Baker, Martin Sheen Director: Ava DuVernay

Welcome to 2015. What a welcome. This is an absolute blast, from start to finish. Humorous, yet with real respect for the genre. Eye popping action. A boxful of characters that delight everytime they light up the screen. Colin Firth is straight in as the target for the 2016 supporting actor. A dense script that surprises and entertains. I have not thought about much else for the last 8 hours, and am sad to say that this review may spoil your experience because you may expect too much given my gushing praise of it, but I’ve gotta be truthful! If you loved Kick-Ass this will not let you down. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? Hey, I’m not alone. The film drips with class, is bursting with references and whether we like it or not, we love our movie-stars. Oh – the music rocks, the church scene was perfectly scored to Freebird, it... it... Oh I’m fucking speechless!.

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Seve Year: 2014 Mark: 8 Watched: Fri 27 Jun 14 Starring: Severaino Ballesteros Director: John-Paul Davidson

It's awkward comparing this to fiction, in that the story is super-compelling, but is that only because of my personal investment in it? i.e. I do not know how this would hold up for a non-sports-fan. The 'movie' portions of this film are nice enough, location shooting, young Seve and his family move it along at an adequate lick, the original footage I've seen before, yet still it stands. This collation, in what is in effect a hagiography, albeit of someone commonly regarded as a saint, is excellent! Fuck it - it is really well done, and I was brushing away the tears at the end.

I've always thought Gary Player an astute academic, and when he says that Seve was easily the best golfer at the 1986 Masters I can accept that (though I thought it was Greg Norman, and Jack Nicklaus won anyway)

You know I went to the first showng and there was only one other bloke in the theatre? We are spoilt nowadays. And fuck the Daily Telegraph review.

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Seven Psychopaths Year: 2012 Mark: 8 Watched: Fri 10 Apr 15 Starring: Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Tom Waits, Abbie Cornish, Olga Kurylenko, Željko Ivanek, Harry Dean Stanton Director: Martin McDonagh

In Bruges in Los Angeles. Sam Rockwell was just made for this role (as was Woody Harrelson and Colin Farrell and Christopher Walken). How can brutality be so hilarious? I guess it is like the cartoon element of Roadrunner violence and really nutty protagonists. Awesome.

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The Seventh Sign Year: 2010 Mark: 4.5 Watched: Thu 15 May 14 Starring: Demi Moore Director: Carl Schultz

Digi Boxes are terrific things, just rippinig thgrough a couple of channels for the next two weeks yield loads of films which record at the press of a button. It does bring into question the validity of keeping the Unlimited Casrd, as this film, for instance, distacted me from going to watch Godzilla on its opening day, yesterday. As I ate my salad I began to regret not going to the flicks, and it might have been laziness but I didn't just turn it off. There is no getting away from the fact that, IMHO, Demi Moore is as beautiful looking a person as has ever been filmed, but this movie just didn't do it despite the eye candy. It wasn't by any stretch a complete disaster, just I like hokum to be funny, not serious like this. Anyhoo, with 20 minutes to go the digibox had stopped recording so the decision was taken away from me. I'll watch Godzilla today!.

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Sex Tape Year: 2014 Mark: 3 Watched: Mon 29 Sep 14 Starring: Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Rob Lowe, Jack Black Director: Jake Kasdan

Aww crap! I left after 15 minutes. I know, some people might like this kind of stuff but it is just not for me. Maybe the erectile dysfunction thing hits too close too home, maybe its because Cameron Diaz doesn't, I cant see Jason Segel without wanting him to burst into Man or Muppet . I'm not saying its a bad film for everybody, it's just bad for me.

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Shadowlands (1985) Year: 1985 Mark: 7.9 Watched: Fri 19 Dec 25 Starring: Joss Ackland, Claire Bloom Director: Norman Stone

Don’t be afraid of old films. This was 1985, and the film quality would have been a deal better from a modern mobile phone. Wow – that is 40 years! Anyway, this was definitely made for TV nostalgic feel (it was set in the 1950’s), and were not some of those TV plays made back in the day some of the best bits of story telling ever? That Sinking Felling, A Captain’s Tale, P'tang, Yang, Kipperbang, Those Glory Days. Note too self: watch more. Anyway – this did not disappoint. At the interval I was giving it an 8.3. That gradually dropped to a 7.9. as there was a lot of space towards the end, but whatever, far more romantic than many a comedy, with nostalgic looks at Oxford and Simmonds Yat! Joss Ackland and Claire Bloom were absolutely on the money, t0tally convincing and perfectly measured. What word do you give a romantic tragedy – Tromance?

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Shakespeare In Love Year: 1998 Oscar Mark: 10 Watched: Starring: Joseph Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow Director: John Madden

Stellar cast, great story, clichéd denouement, this has got to be my favourite film that I have seen described as a rom-com. I am not a huge fan of Shakespeare, so this like lends me some cred

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The Shape of Water Year: 2017 Oscar Mark: Sort Watched: Sort Starring: Sort Director: Guillermo del Toro

Sort this: Now I know I’ve seen it and enjoyed it, have to watch it again. KEEP A DIARY!!

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Shaun The Sheep Movie Year: 2015 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Mon 9 Feb 15 Starring: Director: Richard Starzak, Mark Burton

I loved the backgrounds on this. It was just like the land of my life, Yorkshire, the dales, the buses, the walls, the roads, Leeds/Manchester, the shops, the people. If the story had been a quarter of the scenery this would have been a great film. As it turns out it was a pleasant enough watch, perhaps not quite what I would pay £8 for, at least not when Kingsman or The Interview were on next door, but still pleasant enough with the old Unlimited card.

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The Shawshank Redemption Year: 1994 Mark: 10 Watched: Starring: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Director: Frank Darabont

I was told by Tony Armitage to watch this after he had gone to work one morning, as He and Carl told me it was a masterpiece. It is, and is now recognised as such. Don't expect fireworks, just … Oh bugger it, I am not going to even hint at what happens. If you have seen it you know, and if you haven't, you should.

”It has been 1 on IMDb's user-generated Top 250 since 2008, when it surpassed The Godfather, readers of Empire magazine voted the film as the best film of the 1990s, and it placed number 4 on Empire's list of "The 500 Greatest Movies of All Time" in 2008. In March 2011, the film was voted by BBC Radio 1 and BBC Radio 1Xtra listeners as their favorite film of all time.

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Sherlock Holmes Year: 2009 Mark: 7 Watched: Starring: Director:

To review

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Shooter Year: 2007 Mark: 7 Watched: Wed 26 Feb 14 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Mara, Michael Peña, Danny Glover, Ned Beatty Director: Antoine Fuqua

I keep forgetting that 7 is “Not bad at all – Good film”. I suppose this should start with an “An enjoyable enough romp...” Am I struggling to describe the qualities of this film? -Yes! There's guns, and dick-heads and explosions and triumph against the odds. I suppose it is the kind of perfect film to watch with a couple of large G&T's in that if the alcohol combines with senility to diminish memory of such things I am pretty sure you will not have forgotton anything critical. As a noveau Wahlbergian I appreciate the artistic sensibilities of this movie. Those who like this would also like The Expendables, Die Hard .... etc. P.S. Is Ned Beatty A ringer for John Heard (Govenor Tancredi in Prison Break )

PPS. “Some film critics, both liberal and conservative, saw the film as left-leaning in its politics, arguing that the main villain (Senator Meachum) was a clear analogy for Dick Cheney”.

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Short Circuit Year: 1986 Mark: 2 Watched: Sat 9 Jul 11 Starring: Steve Guttenburg, Ally Sheedy Director: John Badham

Stupid film with 80s hairdos and a shocking grasp of science or humour. Though moderately entertaining a large proportion of the pleasure I had was derived from it being so dire. I recognised Ali Sheedy from those 80's movies (Breakfast Club, Hill Street Blues, even St Elmo's Fire) and Steve Guttenberg is just not funny. It was sexist, racist and without any grounding in the reality of its own universe, let alone ours. (Don't get me wrong, I like sexism and racism, but not this unimaginative and poorly delivered kind).

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Shrek Year: 2001 Oscar animated Mark: 10 Watched: Sun 5 Jun 16 Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, John Lithgow Director: Aaron Warner

The film which, if I had been a brilliant storyteller, I would have wanted to make. Everything about it is more than great, but of all the notable aspects, there has never ever been better vocal characterisations than Shrek, Donkey and Lord Farquhar - oh hell throw Princess Fiona in there as well. It is not just the story, which is a shopping list of tropes (SPOILER ALERT: Two disparate individuals thrown together, evil megalomaniac, quest, damsel in distress, danger, love, redemption, happy ever after). It is that the story which though oft repeated is delivered with soulful precision and garnished with

the most delightful references, liberally distributed throughout the film,

an amazing soundtrack which was fresh at the time and retains that vitality an entire childhood later (compare this to the Radio 2ie Happy Feet which sounds so clichéd in comparison), and

A genuine irreverence where actual cruelty and violence are presented in perfect, yet surprisingly real context for a family animation (Again, let's ponder "The depiction of eggs in the films 'Happy Feet' and 'Shrek', and their position within the structure of their societies and narratives

They had to invent a best animation Oscar in 2001 because of this film

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Shutter Island Year: 2010 Mark: 7 Watched: Sun 16 Nov 14 Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max von Sydow, Michelle Williams, Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson Director: Martin Scorsese

There is a third aspect of a good story that I don't mention (I am always banging on about how important plot and characters are), and that is surprise, so for example, The Sixth Sense gets a massive boost up once it has concluded. Likewise this beautifully filmed thriller is resolved most excellently, and, in retrospect, fairly unambiguously. I reckon it is worth watching just so you can discuss it!

One may need to try to maintain attention during periods of this film if, like me, you watch it at bed time.

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Sicario Year: 2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sun 11 Oct 15 Starring: Emily Blunt, Josh Brolin, Benicio del Toro, Daniel Kaluuya, Maximiliano Hernández, Victor Garber Director: Denis Villeneuve

Emily Blunt caries off the feminine 'hero' perfectly. Like The Day After Tomorrow, her part is believable, even more so in this film during which her character displays not just toughness but she loses sass in favour of real vulnerability and you are rooting for her. The rest of the lead cast are ace, and the story works. The first half is better than the second, but it is still a good second half. Ahh, it's great that 2015 movies are back on track after a pretty dull September.

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The Silence Of The Lambs Year: 1991 Oscar Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster Director: Jonathan Demme

Solid 8

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Silver Linings Playbook Year: 2007 Mark: 9.6 Watched: Mon 12 Oct 15 Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver, Chris Tucker, Anupam Kher, Julia Stiles, Shea Wigham Director: David O. Russell

Absolute unbridled joy from end to end. Di Nero was just perfect, Bradley Cooper was uncomfortably brilliant and Jennifer Lawrence just had this down. Somebody said don't watch it with your kids! What what? It is an absolutely perfect film for parents and fairly grown up kids. A more enjoyable, if not better film than King's Speech, Argo, or 12 years A Slave .

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Silverado Year: 1985 Mark: 5.7 Watched: Sun 16 Oct 16 Starring: Scott Glenn, Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner, Brian Dennehy, Rosanna Arquette, John Cleese, Jeff Goldblum, Linda Hunt Director: Lawrence Kasdan

It set off at a half decent lick, but the last half hour, the predictable, inevitable, crushingly repetetive after I've just watched The Magnificent 7 (2016) and Open Range, shoot 'em up with revenge, was a waste of time. I've been spoilt, but 1985 film quality is now a point of criticism. I don't know if its because Film 5 or whatever broadcaster it is churns stuff out on relatively low bandwidth, but having been privileged enough to watch a whole slew of films recently downloaded of Pirate Bay on HD, this looks very fuzzy in comparison. John Cleese just seemed to be there for novelty value, Kevin Costner had a bit of growing up to do, Kevin Cline was Robin Williams, and Scott Glen was the gnarly star. I am glad I saw it again, as it has allowed me to focus a little on what I want from films. Perhaps this is why they don't make so many westerns now?.

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The Simpsons Movie Year: 2007 Mark: 8 Watched: Sun 10 May 15 Starring: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Tress MacNeille, Pamela Hayden, Tom Hanks Director: David Silverman

The Simpsons did it. The film is up against some classic episodes, and despite being wonderful is, to a degree, a victim of the show's brilliance. I sat through and laughed out loud, thoroughly enjoyed it and was glad to re watch it (I remembered very little of it, apart from the spider pig song). Sitting at my desk five days later makes me ponder, is it really worth an eight?, but that was my thought at the time so it sticks.

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Sin City 2: A Dame To Die For Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Mon 1 Sep 14 Starring: Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Powers Boothe, Bruce Willis, Eva Green, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Josh Brolin, Christopher Lloyd, Ray Liotta, Stacy Keach, Lady Gaga Director: Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller

I was in an empty cinema for the 6:30 showing! Wow, what a waste, A little disjointed with the carachter threads, nevertheless, it is absolutely beautifully done, with a host of great actors, all of them could be called the star, being either/and/or very sexy or brutally hard. The spirit of Raymond Chandler, absolutely striking and forboding cinematography, definitely worth the watch. Must go back to number one as there seems to be a lot of tie-ins.

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Singin' In The Rain Year: 1952 Mark: 8 Watched: Sun 26 Jan 14 Starring: Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, Donald O'Connor Director: Gene Kelly, Stanley Donen

Never realised how good Gene Kelly was. The spectacular thing about this film is the routines, and how they all seem like one shot. The plot is a vehicle for the numbers, nevertheless a reasonably entertaining ending to the film makes a kind of story to boot. I don't know why I never watched this classic before. Donald O'Connor was brilliant by himself, as a double act and a threesome.

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Sisters Year: 2015 Mark: 8.5 Watched: Mon 21 Dec 15 Starring: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Ike Barinholtz, Dianne Wiest, James Brolin, John Cena, Madison Davenport, John Leguizamo Director: Jason Moore

Ha! An absolute laugh a minute comedic home run, another for Jason Moore (who did Pitch Perfect and originated Avenue Q). There was one other bloke in a theatre filled with wimmin, and I think he and I might have laughed most. Amy Poehler nails this part so well, slightly awkward, really good hearted and such latent hilarity without cracking. I love her!.

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Sleepy Hollow Year: 1999 Mark: 6.4 Watched: Sun 18 Sep 16 Starring: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Christopher Walken, Michael Gambon, Miranda Richardson, Richard Griffiths, Ian McDiarmid, Christopher Lee, Steven Waddington, Martin Landau Director: Tim Burton

I'm sure some people would really enjoy this film, but its not really my genre. Don't pay any attention to my rating, if you like Tim Burton, I'm sure you will like this.

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Slumdog Millionaire Year: 2008 Oscar Mark: 7.5 Watched: Starring: Dev Patel Director: Danny Boyle

I feel obliged to go into detail but I'm not going to. Justified best original song for Jai Ho and the best cut ever

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Small Soldiers Year: 1998 Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: Gregory Smith, Frank Langella, Kirsten Dunst, Tommy Lee Jones, George Kennedy, Jim Brown, Ernest Borgnine, Clint Walker, Bruce Dern, Denis Leary, Kevin Dunn, David Cross, Robert Picardo Director: Joe Dante

Really enjoyed this back in the day. I guess I'm easily pleased. The sega game was great.

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Small Things Like These Year: 2024 Mark: 7.3 Watched: Fri 26 Dec 25 Starring: Cillian Murphy, Eileen Walsh, Michelle Fairley, Emily Watson, Clare Dunne, Helen Behan Director: Tim Mielants

Yesterday I watched Casino and wrote that there were better films made which scored less on my subjective quality/enjoyment scale whatever that may be, and worse films perhaps scored more. There was a subtitle during the film which said “sombre music playing” – Jeez, everything was sombre, especially the weather, the furniture, the houses, and especially Cillian Murphy. But..

It was a GOOD film, especially if you had worked as a coal-man in 1974 (this film was set in 1985) (I am not going to get picky, it was a film about people, not coal delivery), but more importantly, if you have been bought up a catholic by a very devout and lovely and well-meaning mother, and a father who pretended (to be a catholic, father and husband who I guess was not as happy as people could be).

My sister and I were sent to a convent for a ‘holiday’. It was horrible. I was constantly bullied, the food was shite, we basically spent half of every day sweeping leaves, and please God, if my kids rang me up and said ‘Help! get us out of here, I would drive to wherever they were and do it. I was seven. I was tied to a tree. I was whipped with nettles. I should thank my lucky stars it only lasted a fortnight.

I went to a school which had nuns. Sister Fiona was gentle and sweet. I perceived Sister Christina to be one of the most evil people I have ever met. I got a second opinion that concurred. Again, I should consider myself fortunate to have not been a girl at St. Wilfrid's, especially one who got pregnant at 16 and was chased out of town like a common pygmy (The last time I saw her she was a very happy grandmother still married to the father). I do not consider myself blessed to live in a humanity that not only fails to do the right thing, it is our curse that we permit counter productive behaviour. I liked some members of staff at school, I like lots of humans. But triple shame on you for not doing something about it. You probably don’t even want to know what ‘it’ is.

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Snake Eyes Year: 1998 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Mon 25 Mar 13 Starring: Nick Cage, Gary Senise Director:

To review

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Snow White And The Huntsman Year: 2013 Mark: 7 Watched: Sun 3 May 15 Starring: Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Sam Claflin, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Toby Jones, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost Director: Rupert Sanders

I liked this more than I thought I would, it just wasn't as much fun as Mirror Mirror nevertheless it was still a good watch. If you look at the cast, I only recognised Chris hemsworth, the dwarves... like what a line up of stars (Oh I recognised Toby Jones as well. What really cheesed me off that I failed to recognise Marlooe beach, our favourite place in Pembrokeshire!.

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Solace Year: 2015 Mark: 7 Watched: Thu 1 Oct 15 Starring: Abbie Cornish, Anthony Hopkins, Colin Farrell Director: Alfonso Poyart

I was warned that the ending was flagged up miles before it happened. I missed it, consequently was engaged by a film that was visually very competent, a cast that I felt I knew on a personal level, and an original (at least for me), slightly, but engagingly, fantastical story arc that propelled me another two hours closer to my death, but pleasantly so! Hopkins was a slightly straighter version of Hannibal, Colin Farrell had a quite an amazing part, leaving you thinking, was he bad, or was he good? Well I liked it anyway.

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Some Like It Hot Year: 1959 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Fri 5 Aug 16 Starring: Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, George Raft, Pat O'Brien, Joe E. Brown, Joan Shawlee, Nehemiah Persoff. Director: Billy Wilder

I would imagine that many observers might see this as an exposition of sexism rather than an exercise in it. Both hypothesis might carry equal validity. Never mind that, is it fun? Hell yeah; jack Lemmon is a fantastic actor, tony Curtis plays his part, nad Marilyn Monroe was blazing the trail for women as objects. I’m all for that. Great Premise, well conducted. 7.4.

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Son Of A Gun Year: 2014 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Tue 3 Feb 15 Starring: Brenton Thwaites, Euan McGregor, Alicia Vikander Director: Julius Avery

One of those films that are a jolly good watch, kind of semi predictable, a wee bit of head scratching as to peoples motive's, why did the girl like the boy, why did the King Con like the lad, where were the Australian Air Force?.. but not the total turn off it could have been. I'm still trying to figure out if these were good guys or bad guys.

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The Sound of Music Year: 1965 Oscar Mark: 9.5 Watched: Mon 14 Mar 16 Starring: Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Eleanor Parker, Marni Nixon Director: Robert Wise‡O

I suppose I should have reviewed this a bit earlier. I have seen it before, gawd knows when, perhaps in the Crescent Cinema in 1964, maybe on Telly, but I can not remember . That's immaterial, what matters is a musical that is as relentless with the music as Stepbrothers is with comedy. Like Jersey Boys, you think, half way through, that their can't be any more songs, yet they just keep comin'. Like Schindler's List, when Angie says this is her favourite film, I am fully down with that, it's a masterpiece, a genre classic, it is what films are all about. I did not expect it, but at several points throughout this film I was cheering, wiping away tears and just thoroughly surrendering to it. Fekkin' awesome.

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South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut Year: 1999 Mark: 9.4 Watched: Sat 4 Mar 17 Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mary Kay Bergman, Isaac Hayes, George Clooney Director: Trey Parker

This is pure. The only question I have about this is "who enjoys it?" as the very core of this film is the ridiculousness of people having a fucking period about words, yet as far as I can see, at least from my Facebook pages, loads of decent, clever, normally righteous people get a proper boner on when I say things which might be interpreted as 'offensive'. I'm not talking about advocating harming stuff, mereley ideas, adjectives, conjecture, and none of it set in stone to such a degree that I do not want to invite rational criticism. Like Munchkins so small minded.

Absolutely brilliant soundtrack, true genius, layed over the most wonderful cast. Why not a ten? Hard to say, I think perhaps the Devil and Saddam bits I find a little drawn out. .

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Southpaw Year: 2015 Mark: 7 Watched: Fri 31 Jul 15 Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker, Rachel McAdams, Naomie Harris, Victor Ortiz, Curtis 50 Cent Jackson, Miguel Gomez, Oona Laurence, Rita Ora Director: Antoine Fuqua

In the prices list for the 2015 Oscar, it will not win. Not to say it's not a well made film that tells an engaging tale, just that it will not win. If you had to describe an arc of a boxing film between sips of beer, you could quite easily have come out with this.

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Spiderman 2 Year: 2004 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 12 Apr 14 Starring: Toby McGuire Director: Sam Raimi

More of the same. Good solid funny, action packed marvel film. Toby McGuire makes a good Peter parker.

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Spirited Away Year: 2001 Oscar animated, Golden Bear Mark: 7.4 Watched: Wed 8 Jun 16 Starring: Daveigh Chase, John Ratzenberger (English version) Director: Hayao Miyazaki

I don't think you should take my review as indicative of the merits of this film. I think perhaps we should just accept that sometimes brilliance can not be assimilated in the eyes of some beholders. Apparently Hiyao Miyazaki doesn't storyboard entire films, but lets them develop as production goes along. Without doubt, any single frame from this film would grace the most Bohemian of living rooms, and Chihiro herself is an entirely immersive protagonist, but there seems no escape for me that it is a little random in its story-arc. So are many great works I guess. A mark of its watchability is that my version stuck on 1 hour 39 minutes and I am really frustrated, because I do want to see what happens to our little heroine, and where the train is going. Given this story's undoubted critical acclaim and popularity it is definitely a must-see. I feel so guilty enjoying Pitch Perfect more though!

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Spooks: The Greater Good Year: 2015 Mark: 7 Watched: Thu 14 May 15 Starring: Kit Hartington, Peter Firth, Jennifer Ehle, Elyes Gabel, Tuppence Middleton Director: Bharat Nalluri

John Snow is really making a name for himself. A reasonable watch, I enjoyed it, a notch above James Bond and a notch below John Le Carré in terms of the seriousness of the contents. Dare I say it seemed a little too PC, apart from the Arabs (who we know are all bad guys). Actually, when I think about it, the criminal mastermind had some good qualities.

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Spotlight Year: 2015 Oscar Mark: 8.4 Watched: Sun 27 Dec 15 Starring: Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Liev Schreiber, Stanley Tucci Director: Tom McCarthy

Unlike last year's Oscar favourite (Boyhood), I can fully understand why this is the lead contender for 2015. Not my favourite film of the year by several positions, nevertheless it is absolutely fascinating, and thoroughly engrossing. Not since Straight Outta Compton has the end of a film been so 'too soon' for me. Loads of the parts had me interested in them, and philosophically it sits alongside Gentleman's Agreement as an insight into the human psyche when faced with a room full of elephants. Really, why don't people accept that films like this are a criticism of themselves, not everybody else?

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Spy Year: 2015 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Thu 11 Jun 15 Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale, Nargis Fakhri, Allison Janney, Jude Law. Director: Paul Feig

Poor Melissa McCarthy! I really quite like her films, Tammy, St Vincent, and this are all quite excellent movies, but like Helen Shapiro going on a headlining tour with The Beatles as support, this funny and well made film has come out a few months after Kingsman and consequently loses in comparison to that masterpiece. So let's put that to bed and say, go and watch, it's a hoot, Jason Statham is hilarious, The cast are all engaging and witty and the story is good. Whatever your thoughts are about Miranda Hart, they will be amplified by this.

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St Vincent Year: 2014 Mark: 8.5 Watched: Mon 8 Dec 14 Starring: Bill Murray, Jaeden Lieberher, Melissa McCarthy, Chris O'Dowd, Naomi Watts Director: Theodore Melfi

Cineworld Unlimited paid for itself again this month with this unashamed gem. A role absolutely tailor-made for Bill Murray, the strength of the cast, dialogue and cinematography carried along what was a reasonably predictable story. Hey – that is praise, it delivered exactly what I wanted. If this film got six oscar nominations I would not disagree, I cannot stress how just right the casting was, special big up for Jaeden Lieberher who at thhe time of writing does not even have a Wikipedia entry!.

It really helps going to the pictures with someone along side you and a Subway to start. Kevin Bacon sucks balls though (The 'buffer face" phone advert).

A lot of very positive reviews on IMDB

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The Stanford Prison Experiment Year: 2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Tue 2 Feb 16 Starring: Billy Cruddup, Ezra Miller, Olivia Thirlby, Nelsan Ellis, Ki Hong Lee, Tye Sheridan Director: Kyle Patrick Alvarez

I've wanted too watch this film for ages. I knew it would be like Compliance, in that it would dipict the truly horrible trait of humanity, not the cruel few, but the complicit many. The film didn't dissapoint though, and gets a relatively high mark for such an unpleasant film for it not letting me down.

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Star Trek Beyond Year: 2016 Mark: 7.3 Watched: Wed 27 Jul 16 Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Idris Elba, Sofia Boutella Director: Justin Lin

On balance definitely a worth see. I suppose we always want to see First Contact or Into Darkness and that's just not gonna happen, so like good and bad golf shots we should put the other films behind us and judge new ones on their merits (agh, I can't do it with Ghostbusters, which was the equivalent of Jordan Spieth playing the 12th in the fourth round at Augusta in 2016 except with a two put, not a single). So. Simon Pegg is so annoying you put it to bed after a while and realise that this film is more of an homage to the original series, in the context of which - it works. Very prescient to see Anton Yelchin being told to put on a red shirt. Not outstanding but still much better than any Independence Day movie.

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Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home Year: 1986 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 4 Aug 14 Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols, Catherine Hicks Director: Leonard Nimoy

Well it's a classic in a classic world. The best of the early batch of Trek films, I reckon Leonard Nimoy made a film with real humour. Yes it's predictable and can be corny, nevertheless if you ask a bunch of people to come on for a fourth encore that is what you should expect.

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Star Trek 8: First Contact Year: 1996 Mark: 9.7 Watched: Tue 26 Aug 14 Starring: Patrick Stewart, etc. Director: Jonathan Frakes

The best of the original Star Trek set. First: Everybody does what is asked of them, the cast deliver their familiar and much loved roles with honed skill, Patrick Stewart is masterful, Troi and crusher are generally background, Data is perfect, etc etc. Jamesd Cromwell is believable, the sets and stories are good, but of all the films I have seen I reckon this one has the message that I wish humanity would take on board. That when we achieve the ability to break the bounds of our planet and sustain a permanent egress from our solar system first contact will be initiated. What this film does not explore is the consequences if we don't... A place in my heart for this.

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Star Trek Into Darkness Year: 2013 Mark: 9.5 Watched: Sat 15 Mar 14 Starring: Chris Pine, John Cho, Benedict Cumberbatch, Alice Eve, Bruce Greenwood, Simon Pegg, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Peter Weller, Anton Yelchin Director: J.J. Abrams

Woah! The first film of the reboot was good, this left me breathless. It has everything, and exceeds on several levels. Benedict Cumberbatch was perfect, the homage within this film was so respectful. As a long term fan of the franchise, this in technical terms is the best. Generations has the best plot, and 2 through 4 have the best arc. Why not a ten? Probably just a bit thin on story credibility. In fact a lot thin, but the rest of the film just tops it up.

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Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace Year: 1999 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Fri 27 Nov 15 Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Pernilla August, Frank Oz, Samuel L Jackson, Kiera Knightly, Sofia Coppola, Terrence Stamp, Ralph Brown Director: George Lucas

Few films conflict me as much as this. Liam Neeson is awesome, the universe is the best, and generally there is a lot going on but.. Jar Jar Binks has to be the worst carachter ever developed for such a prominent franchise. Am I missing something here? I absolutely love racist humour, but only when it's funny. There has not been such an unconvincing, and more importantly, unentertaining racial stereotype since Breakfast At Tiffany's To boot, young Anakin and his mum are NOT convincing.

I suppose the film is worth the watch, especially in the light of the cultural significance of what is to follow, and I am glad I did (watch it).

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Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace Year: 1999 Mark: Watched: Starring: Director: George Lucas

To review

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Star Wars 2: Attack Of The Clones Year: 2002 Mark: 6.9 Watched: Sat 28 Nov 15 Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz, Jimmy Smits, Joel Edgerton Director: George Lucas

Bordering on a good film, albeit there are some headscratching moments (why would you want foot-soldiers to take over the galaxy?) and there is a lot of "look, we all know, Anakin goes bad, don't keep reminding us, with the music and Hayden Christansen getting all pouty and stamping his little feet.

Of course this is all building up to the release of The Force Awakens I tip it will be fantastic.

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Star Wars 2; Attack Of The Clones Year: 2002 Mark: Watched: Starring: Director: George Lucas

To review

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Star Wars 3: Revenge Of The Sith Year: 2005 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Mon 7 Dec 15 Starring: Hayden Christansen, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz, Jimmy Smits, Joel Edgerton Director: George Lucas

Although, like 1 & 2, still a vehicle for spectacular scenes, this installment is definitely the best of the new batch, not because of the set pieces, but because it has a slightly more involving story, and the carachters, specifically Anikin and Jar Jar Binks, become more interesting, in that Hayden Christensen seems more confident, and Binks doesn't speak and is hardly seen. I wonder how this would cope as a stand-alone? Not so well I fear, although it is remarkable how the story-boards at the beginning do provide huge vaults between the films, filling in lots of back story briefly and quickly.

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Star Wars 3: Revenge Of The Sith Year: 2005 Mark: Watched: Starring: Director: George Lucas

To review

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Star Wars Year: 1977 Mark: 9 Watched: Mon 7 Dec 15 Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness, David Prowse, Anthony Daniels, Peter Cushing, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew Director: George Lucas

How difficult it is to judge a film I guess I must have seen four times at least, where 50% of the scenes and dialogue are carved into the public consciousness? I hope I am being objective in that its iconic status is deserved, as, though admitedly seeming a little dated, as a camp-fire story it works excellently, with the story cantering along and developing at such a lick compared with the prequels it delights, and still, after nearly 40 years, holds the interest. It seemed really short! I would love to see an original copy.

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Star Wars 4; A New Hope Year: 1977 Mark: 9 Watched: Starring: Director: George Lucas

To review

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The Empire Strikes Back Year: 1980 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Tue 15 Dec 15 Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew, Frank Oz Director: Irvin Kershner

Of the first six of the series I think this one may be the best 'film', from an artistic perspective, in that the carachters just seem a tiny bit more consistent, with Darth Vader really coming into his own. I only saw it two days ago, and already the plot is being subsumed into a oneness with all the others, but I did fix that 7.8 in my mind after tetering on the 8 for a portion of the film. Pretty awesome really.

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Star Wars 5; The Empire Srikes Back Year: 1980 Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: Director: George Lucas

To review

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Return Of The Jedi Year: 1983 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Wed 16 Dec 15 Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew, Frank Oz Director: Richard Marquand

Once one has invested several hours into a series, episodes tend to be enjoyable, even if they are missing out on the oomph a little. This film is just a little bit more like a Jim Henson production than a George Lucas, in that it relies overmuch on animatronics. I do scratch my head at why male wierd aliens get a boner for hot human women. Whatever it is a good denoument to the series, with an excellent ending only slightly tarnished with the superimposition of Hayden Christensen as Anakin instead of Sebastian Shaw.

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Star Wars 6: Return Of The Jedi Year: 1983 Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: Director: George Lucas

To review

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens Year: 2015 Mark: 9.5 Watched: Thu 17 Dec 15 Starring: Daisy Ridley, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Lupita Nyong'o, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Max von Sydow, Gwendoline Christie Director: J.J. Abrams

I crossed my fingers for the first five minutes of this film. From the moment BB-8 broke the fourth wall after two minutes I knew it was in safe hands with the genius that is J.J. Abrams writing and directing. The over-arching satisfaction I got from this film was its sense of balance, incorporating comedy, action, pathos, respect to the franchise (so important), surprise and believability. The fucking cinematography was super awesome but the nitty gritty was there of people and plot. Rey and Fin, the newbie stars were fantastic, I don't know what I was most pleased with, the acceptance of Rey as an empowered female, or the slight, but very watchable comedic side to FN2157. Given the history of this franchise it is a justified shoe-in for the biggest grossing film of all time.

Spoiler AlertPlease somebody tell me that's a flux capacitor behind Hal and Fin as they fly off in the Falcon.

N.B. I had this down for a ten but retrospectively took half a mark off due to the constant nag that it was Episode 4, new and improved, which, there is no getting away from it, it is

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Stardust Year: 2007 Mark: 7.3 Watched: Wed 1 Jun 16 Starring: Charlie Cox, Ben Barnes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, Sienna Miller, Mark Strong, Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett, Ricky Gervais, David Walliams, Nathaniel Parker, Peter O'Toole, David Kelly, Robert De Niro, Julian Rhind-Tutt, Mark Heap, Henry Cavill, Ian McKellen Director: Matthew Vaughn

Entertaining, sumptously produced, fantasy, which got better as the film wore on. .

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Starred Up Year: 2013 Mark: 8 Watched: Sun 30 Mar 14 Starring: Jack O'Connell, Ben Mendelsohn, Rupert Friend Director: David Mackenzie

I am in no position to judge the accuracy of portrayal of life inside a British prison, so I can only say that this is as convincing as it is brutal. I am sure that if I ever sort these films into order by personal rating I will look at films along side it and realise that they are nowhere near the quality of this one. I do mark on enjoyment value, both immediate and long-term, and I think this may rise on the latter criteria. Speaking of acting performances, I can think of no film I have watched where the ensemble are so absolutely as realistic as could be imagined. It is like they have taken real chavs and asked them to be in the film, rather than actors playing a role. Fuck it, I'm adding half a point right now.. :)

P.S. This will not be Jack O'Connell's last film. Fuck it, I'm adding another half.

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Step Brothers Year: 2008 Mark: 10 Watched: Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Richard Jenkins, Mary Steenburgen, Adam Scott, Kathryn Hahn Director: Adam McKay

Watch this after a bad day at work and the world doesn't seem so bad. Is this the greatest premise for a film ever? Don’t read this unless you have already seen the film, cos it’ll spoil it for you.

On a rewatch after 292 film reviews it is more than pleasant to confirm the 10 out of 10 rating I initially gave this film. Everything is right about it, the music, the comedy, the acting and most importantly, characters and story. Right now I just want to go to a quote-along Step Brothers (and a sing-along Frozen ). What else can I say?.

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Stephen Fry Live Year: 2014 Mark: 3 Watched: Wed 1 Oct 14 Starring: Stephen Fry

I've been screwed. This carried a surcharge of around £10 for the privelege of watching something which was of youtube standard,, an excuse for Stephen Fry, 'raconteur, wit, national treasure' to fuck on about Oscar Wilde, read from his new book.

I'm not saying Stephen Fry is untalented, just that this was not really stand up, more of a sales pitch., lets face it, why don't people realise that Homophobia, as Oscar Wilde was the tragic victim of, is cool, safe to criticise nowadays, but the much greater problems we face nowadays are just as taboo as standing up for gays was in 1900. Stephen Fry sycophants make me angry! I hope Stephen Fry feels the same way, I suspect he does.

More Fool Me

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Steve Jobs Year: 2015 Mark: 7.9 Watched: Wed 18 Nov 15 Starring: Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet , Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels, Katherine Waterston, Michael Stuhlbarg, John Ortiz Director: Danny Boyle

Good film? Damn straight its a good film, captivatingly and cleverly filmed with superb, really suberb, dialogue, fascinating and ambiguous characters, an eminetly listenable soundtrack of variety and precise timing, with Michael Fassbender putting in a bid for Oscar nomination (Though I have a feeling that Eddie Redmayne might do the double). It's a given that the tale is a good one, so add to this the biograpy and the company and this typifies what makes for a great evening at the flicks. Unlimited cards rock.

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Still Alice Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 26 Feb 15 Starring: Julianne Moore‡O, Alec Baldwin, Kristen Stewart Director: Richard Glatzer, Wash Westmoreland

Pretty solid 7.5 in that it was very illuminating regarding Alzheimer’s disease (I think), it never got too ponderous, and despite some “would they really say or do that?” moments it provided a credible insight into the degradation of memory. It was quite scary in that we all will think we have it next time we forget the opening lines to For The First Time In Forever (it happened today!).

Food for thought is the value of life; perhaps some people die in their 50s and we should accept that with the stoicism of somebody who is smaller than average. I don’t know. What is the average life expectancy of a human hunter gatherer from 15,000 years ago?

What was the car driving angle? Did Alice have to stop driving, and at what stage?

Julianne Moore was a fair enough choice for the best actress award at the Oscars, but in addition I thought that Kristen Stewart was really good, and deserves total credit for being just right in this.

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The Sting Year: 1973 Oscar Mark: 9.1 Watched: Starring: Robert Redford, Paul Newman, Robert Shaw Director: George Roy Hill

This is written so far away from the viewing but I know, I know, I know this is... No Spoiler alert!!!

I started re-watching this and I hate to say it I found myself thinking "Is this a little dated or what?"

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Stoker Year: 2013 Mark: 7.1 Watched: Sat 7 Nov 15 Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Matthew Goode, Nicole Kidman, Alden Ehrenreich Director: Park Chan-wook

What a nice follow up to Crimson Peak with Mia Wasikowska and Matthew Goode being in super fine wierd form, with Nicole Kidman pitching the neurotic bit acca-awesomely. The kind of film I am sure I am beginning to like more after the 24 hours has elapsed. I wonder if it is 'cos I want to be accepted by the Goth Kids? I can cope with films like this on an evening. Nothing to do with Dracula!.

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Storks Year: 2016 Mark: 6.7 Watched: Tue 18 Oct 16 Starring: Andy Samberg, Katie Crown, Kelsey Grammer, Keegan-Michael Key, ordan Peele, Jennifer Aniston, Ty Burrell, Danny Trejo Director: Nicholas Stoller, Doug Sweetland

One of those films that puts me in two minds. Without doubt it had its moments, after all it is hard not to be moved by family and babies, nevertheless it had a deal of ancillary gawkiness or just plain annoyance about it. I have never seen a character as pointlessly irritating as the pigeon, which never even began to be funny or interesting and yes, I know it's 'just a kids film' but I really think a lot of this doesn't give credit to children's intelligence. Tulip, with her curly ginger hair and sassy attitude did remind me of Alex!.

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Straight Outta Compton Year: 2015 Mark: 8 Watched: Tue 1 Sep 15 Starring: O'Shea Jackson Jr., Corey Hawkins, Aldis Hodge, Neil Brown Jr., Jason Mitchell, Paul Giamatti Director: F. Gary Gray

Super bit of film, in fact super lotta film, as it is almost two and a half hours; when the end credits dropped I was surprised then disappointed in that I was so thoroughly captivated by it that I didn't think the time was up and I want more! Paul Giamatti was the only cast member I knew, but of the rest, they were awesome. Great story, fantastic music, yes, it was produced by the subjects and cannot avoid a hagiographic aspect, but it works as a slab of entertainment and a contribution to the knowledge. As a film describing the African-American condition this is every bit as good as Selma and, for me, better than 12 Years . O'Shea Jackson, Jr. IS Ice T! .

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Stranger Than Fiction Year: 2006 Mark: 9.3 Watched: Sun 13 Jan 13 Starring: Will Ferrell, Maggie Gillenhall, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson Director: Marc Forster

Will Ferrell plays a completely straight role. Little to find wrong with a film who's strength is it's story. No Spoiler Alerts, but I'll tell you for nowt that anybody who i have spoken too who has seen this film thinks it's ace. A bit like The Shawshank Redemption was 15 years ago.

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A Streetcat Named Bob Year: 2016 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 9 Nov 16 Starring: Luke Treadaway, Ruta Gedmintas, Joanne Froggatt, Anthony Head, Bob the Cat Director: Roger Spottiswoode

This film's trailers had very heavy rotation at the cinema, and I was almost sick of it before its started. Was the Streetcar Named Desire certification card at the beginning deliberate?

Whatever, it was an almost great film, with a sterling performance Luke Treadway, I do believing absolutely nailing that annoying nervousness which seems symptomatic of addicts. It was a good film in that it offered some insight, ergo sympathy, with said addicts and Big Issue sellers. Like many other small man autobiographies it does smack a little of glossing over the bad parts of the hero/heroine, but in itself it was a genuine entertainment, set in familiar sights around London, a bravely simple soundtrack and people you could really get interested in - just about all of them, even the pushers on the corner. This, I suppose, completes the terrific feline trilogy of 2016 (along with Keanu and Nine Lives), the year of the cat.

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Suffragette Year: 2015 Mark: 8 Watched: Thu 15 Oct 15 Starring: Carey Mulligan, Helena Bonham Carter, Meryl Streep, Ben Whishaw, Brendan Gleeson Director: Sarah Gavron

This year's Pride . Altogether darker and much less fun, nevertheless a film where I was more interested how bad most people were than how good the protagonists were. I wonder if it makes a film more enjoyable if you really believe you would not be a total pussy in the same situation. Recommended for good story, good history, super acting, listen to the soundtrack, and not too much Meryl Streep.

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Suicide Squad Year: 2016 Mark: 7.7 Watched: Thu 11 Aug 16 Starring: Margot Robbie, Will Smith, Jared Leto, Joel Kinnaman, Viola Davis, Jai Courtney, Jay Hernandez, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Ike Barinholtz, Scott Eastwood, Cara Delevingne Director: David Ayer

Well well well! A very enjoyable fun film, with ticks all round for cast, characters and cinematography. The story was adequate if not a little clichéd, and all told a whole heap better than I was lead to expect. Margo Robbie is going to gain a few place on the FHM list, and Will Smith was ..,. wait for it... really good!!! I love the way the set up was explained to idiots like me first, and what a great way to introduce the franchise. Now they can go to the back-story films, and I can't wait. Props! (whatever that means).

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Sully Year: 2016 Mark: 8.7 Watched: Tue 6 Dec 16 Starring: Tom Hanks, Aaron Eckhart, Laura Linney, Anna Gunn, Autumn Reeser, Holt McCallany, Jamey Sheridan, Jerry Ferrara Director: Clint Eastwood

Somebody told me they watched the first ten minutes of this and got bored. Retards! This is how an 'incident' film should be put together, at 96 minutes there is little self-indulgence, it tells you what went on, what went down, more than flirts with triumph and disaster, completely endears one to the hero(s) involved, and manages, like The Wind Rises to have me rooting for one of the most immoral activities (flying) devised by man. Clint Eastwood has made a semi-documentary masterpiece in this, and a lot of people will enjoy it. Thoroughly recommended.

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Sunset Boulevard Year: 1950 Mark: 7.7 Watched: Mon 8 Aug 16 Starring: William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich von Stroheim, Nancy Olson Director: Billy Wilder

Good. Very good indeed! Let us not forget this film was made in a period of American history when you could not make films, having said that this holds together as believable in its own insane universe, and for a change the relationships between the sexes don't totally suck (Watch From Here To Eternity to see when they do. William Holden is well worth the attention and Gloria Swanson is Norma Desmond. It could be annoying until you realise it is meant to be. That Max/Norma thing is quite wierd though. Acting nominations in all four categories yet no Oscars.

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Sunshine On Leith Year: 2007 Mark: 10 Watched: Fri 15 May 15 Starring: George MacKay, Peter Mullan, Jane Horrocks, Antonia Thomas, Freya Mavor Director: Dexter Fletcher

Ten. I could not envisage a better way to spend two hours in front of a screen. Caveat to people expecting an unflawed pinnacle of technical perfection. You will be disappointed. Bear in mind, I love British films of this ilk, I love musicals, I love the Proclaimers, I love Edinburgh. Story, tried and tested, Characters, half a dozen ones I invested in, imagination and joy and music – top notch. Watch this with more than a bottle of wine, and if you are gayed up like me you will enjoy it but be drunk enough to watch it a second time and be surprised again.

George McKay: two films, two tens (see Pride ).

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Suspect Year: 1987 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Tue 5 Aug 14 Starring: Cher, Liam Neeson, Dennis Quaid Director: Peter Yates

I suppose I watched this for Liam Neeson, but Cher wasn't half bad in it. I just enjoyed it, even though I can't remember the title!.

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Swallows And Amazons Year: 2016 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Thu 22 Sep 16 Starring: Rafe Spall, Andrew Scott, Kelly Macdonald, Jessica Hynes, Harry Enfield Director: Philippa Lowthorpe

I would have probably hated this if it had been American, the story was kooky, the acting occasionally naive, the geography curious (I mean, was the island like a TARDIS?) Everybody in Cumbria had Yorkshire accents, Titty was called Tatty and Windermere was Derwent Water (but they did not have a shot of Ashness Bridge). That aside, from the opening shots it had me, as a slice of hokum, filmed in places which I know and love from the bottom of my heart and harking back to a better time. My goodness they could really do something with the Famous Five franchise. I can imagine kids really loving this!.

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Swearnet: The Movie Year: 2014 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sun 26 Apr 15 Starring: Rob Wells, Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay, Pat Roach, Carrot Top, Sebastian Bach, John Dunsworth Director: Warren P. Sonoda

I feel I should mark this higher for loyalty's sake, but I must try to be impartial. I love Trailer Park Boys, and this would have always struggled to keep up with that high standard. It is more of the same, with a good denoument, and a film which is an enjoyable watch, but you just can't help comparing it to its origins. If you are a fan you will like it.

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Sweet Sixteen Year: 2002 Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 4 May 15 Starring: Martin Compston, William Ruane Director: Ken Loach

It's grim up North. Lacking the feelgood factor which we have enjoyed in The Angel's Share and Looking For Eric this has the odd flash of humour and the usual exquisitely regional dialogue, but is altogether a deal bleaker, hence the lower rating. It is not a worse film, it is just a more uncomfortable one. It won the Screenplay award at Cannes and only grossed just over £300,000.

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Taken Year: 2008 Mark: 7 Watched: Wed 13 Aug 14 Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Holly Valance Director: Pierre Morel

Scores marginally more than Driven to Kill and 3 Days to Kill because of Liam Neeson, yet it is pretty much the same story, just ropey enough to not convince me that it is a real world, nevertheless if 1400 kids in Rotherham can be trafficked (how do you spell that world), I guess this might have some credibility.

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Taken 3 Year: 2014 Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 12 Jan 15 Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Forest Whitaker Director: Olivier Megaton

Crazy fun from Liam Neeson. The plot devices used during this film are incredibly impossible, nevertheless, it is fun to watch. I am sure the scriptwriters must have sat round a table and thrown out any ideas that were feasable in terms of rational actions on the part of the carachters, just watch it and you will see what I mean. Whatever next? Cop eatin' a donut?.

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Talented Mr Ripley, The Year: 1999 Mark: 7 Watched: Wed 9 Jan 13 Starring: Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Matt Damon, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Kate Blanchett, Jack Davenport Director:

To review

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Tangled Year: 2012 Mark: 10 Watched: Tue 2 Dec 14 Starring: Mandy Moore , Zachary Levi, Donna Murphy Director: Nathan Greno, Byron Howard

I'm writing this a week after watching the film in Oxford YHA on a lap top with headphones, and it is still a ten. Memories fade, even after a week, but it is just a lovely film, with animation like I have never seen before. Julia and I were discussing why has Frozen so captured the public's imagination? One reason may be the songs were written from a Broadway Background in the later film. Perhaps the 'bad' heroine (Elsa/Elphaba) has appeal, but perhaps Tangled paved the way for its succesor? It is the second most expensive film made up to this point, and it deserves longevity. Super Awesome.

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Tarzan Year: 1999 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Mon 5 Jan 15 Starring: Tony Goldwyn, Minnie Driver, Glenn Close, Rosie O'Donnell, Brian Blessed, Lance Henriksen, Wayne Knight, Nigel Hawthorne Director: Chris Buck, Kevin Lima

Even the not so good Disney's are really good! There was some uncomfortably twee cinema in this one, a little too much of the Jar Jar Binks with supporting craachters, a little anthrocentric, without the freshness of The Jungle Book Jane did remind me of Lois Griffin, The story wasn't the strongest and the leads were stock off the shelf, but like I said, Disney is Disney and it's allways a good watch. The soundtrack was by and large martvelous and made me like Phil Collins again. He deserved the best original song Oscar.

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Team America Year: 2004 Mark: 9.3 Watched: Thu 25 Feb 16 Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone Director: Trey Parker

The question here is Why did it not get a ten? Large sections of this film are uncontrollably hilarious, and the premise is a piece of logical conception executed to near-perfection. On my re-watch I did realise they were maybe a couple of parts which just seemed to stretch out a little bit. In some films a truly terrific song will carry three minutes, a difference between this and Bigger, Longer, and Uncut is that in the cartoon there was half a dozen stand out songs which were not only funny, but memorable as tunes in their own right, to the extent that they should have all been put in front of that year's (1999) Oscar winner, You'll Be In My Heart. (And then lost too When She Loved Me. I have kind of diverted away from what a wonderful film this is, and what a powerfull message it is to several groups of people, lapooning irrational jingoism and liberalism in hefty doses, and best of all the film consuming public. It strikes me that if you would like this film you will have already seen it, and if you don't like it you are a dick anyway.

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Ted Year: 2013 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 13 Aug 15 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Seth McFarlane, Mila Kunis, Giovanni Riblisi, Ryan Reynolds, Ted Danson, Patrick Stewart Director: Seth MacFarlane

It feels somewhat dissapointing to give this film 7.5, as one might have expected even more. The thing is, it is a most excellent film, well produced and acted, no complaints whatsoever. The jokes, music and voices are all very Family Guyish, so the edge is not what it would have been without that cartoon. Simpsons did it!

Another to add to the Roster of Mark Wahlberg films to enjoy!.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Year: 2014 Mark: 7 Watched: Thu 23 Oct 14 Starring: Megan Fox, Bill Fitchner, Will Arnett. Johnny Knoxville, Whoopie Goldberg Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Great first half hour and Bill Fitchner (playing Bill Fitchner) tops of an awesome cast. The last hour is exactly what you would expect from Michael Bey, and so when you nod off you probably don't leave yourself many unanswerd questions. What I want to muse upon is the addition of value to a film by 'stars' i.e. I've mentioned Fitchner, but as I am currently watching Arrested Development I really enyoyed watching Will Arnett. Jonny Knoxvilles voice was amusing, Whoopie Goldberg. I guess I am a sucker for familiarity. Stupid humans!.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows Year: 2016 Mark: 5 Watched: Thu 9 Jun 16 Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett Director: Dave Green

Stayed for 15 minutes, laughed at the chicken dance, confirmed Megan Fox was skanky, smiled wryly at the humour and realised I was not going to really enrichen my life that much by staying for the duration. Not excruciating, just predictable without putting anything interesting on the table.

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The Terminal Year: 2004 Mark: 10 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Stanley Tucci Director: Steven Spielberg

Have I seen this before? I can’t have done, at least with an objective head on. I may have been vulnerable, but I could not find a frame out of place. Even Catherine Zeta Jones could not dissuade me from absolutely loving it. What a lovely way to spend an evening, with some decent food, red wine, cold beer, two cats and a dog and the rest of the year more or less set out

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The Terminator Year: 1984 Mark: 7 Watched: Sat 4 Jul 15 Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton Director: James Cameron

A must-watch film, elevated in public perception way way beyond its original budget. Linda Hamilton sucks a bit, and Arnie delivers his almost defining role. A thought provoking concept, a little gratuitous at times, the science is definitely stretchy, but what the hell, why not?.

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Terminator 2: Judgment Day Year: 1991 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sun 5 Jul 15 Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick Director: James Cameron

More enjoyable than the first, Linda Hamilton rocks in this and Arnie DOES deliver his defining role. The cheese department is filled by young John Connor, but this sequel, for me, edges the first in most departments. All the criticisms still apply, but not so harshly. Much better thought out.

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Terminator 4: Genisys Year: 2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Tue 7 Jul 15 Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke, Emilia Clarke,, Jai Courtney Director: Alan Taylor

Liked it! I know it's heresy to say, but I like it more than the first one! All the cast are convincing, the delivery is spot on, and it has bought modern film making techniques with good effect into this classic franchise. .

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Terms Of Endearment Year: 1983 Oscar Mark: 7.5 Watched: Fri 18 Apr 14 Starring: Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, John Lithgow, Geoff Daniels Director: James L. Brooks

There is probably no way this would have been my favourite film of 1983, but that is not to say I don't understand how it won the Oscar. If I had to sit and watch a film with a girl, this would be terrific. The fashion and cinematography is very much of its time. Oscar winners 1984 through 1987 were all period pieces ( Amadeus, Out Of Africa, Platoon, The Last Emperor, and by the time we get to Rainman film quality seems to have undergone a step change. Perhaps it is just depth of focus, perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about, but it this does have a 'made for TV' look about it

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The Theory Of Everything Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sun 11 Jan 15 Starring: Eddie Redmayne‡O, Felicity Jones, Charlie Cox, Emily Watson, Simon McBurney, Christian McKay,, David Thewlis Director: James Marsh

I must put my hands up and admit that I have been talked into downing this from an 8 to a 7.5. After much soul searching it sticks, for the following reasons:

I enjoyed this film, there was a great deal to enjoy! Eddie Redmayne is absolutely brilliant as Stephen Hawking, the great man himself has said he (Hawking) thought he was watching himself, so if he (Redmayne) gets the gongs for it I would hope that Michael Keaton and Benedict Cumberbatch would shake his hands and agree they all done good.

There was a moment when I was convinced it was going to be an 8, as the first part of the film described (Spoiler alert, but I think everybody could imagine this anyhoo) Hawking's succumbing to the effects of motor-neurone disease. I was thinking "Ah this is what story tellers do" and forgiving the film for what I imagined may have been anachronisms and imaginative patronisations. The first half was terrific, but, for me at least, the second half could have been a quarter (in which case it would have become a third!). Throughout the cinematography was beautiful, and I guess the actors did their jobs, but...

Bar Hawking, none of the cast really grabbed me as fascinating. The story of Stephen Hawking's science is still pending, and for an interested layman such myself has been fairly flat for the last 3 decades; the story of Jane's romance though not unpleasant, is just not gripping enough to maintain an arc of narrative that maintains that hunger for more. So the film was a really really good watch, but next to its comparison film of 2014, The Imitation Game, palls in terms of the touchstones of story and carachters (and message as well, if you wanna throw it in).

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The Third Man Year: 1949 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Thu 29 Jan 15 Starring: Joseph Cotten, Orson Welles, Trevor Howard Director: Carol Reed

Here I go saying an absolute classic wasn't that entertaining. It just wasn't, the set up was not believable, the dialogue and behaviour dated. The sets not particularly imaginative (OK it was 1949) and the music, though instantly identifiable, didn't quite fit, at least for me. Still worth a watch.

P.S. OMG - " It is considered one of the greatest films of all time, celebrated for its atmospheric cinematography, performances, and musical score " !!!.

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The Thirty Nine Steps Year: 1978 Mark: 5 Watched: Sat 31 Jan 15 Starring: Robert Powell, David Warner, Karen Dotrice, John Mills, Miles Anderson, Timothy West, Edward Woodward Director: Don Sharp

This is like The French Connection meets Withnail And I and it can't seem to make it's mind up. Were people just more gullible back in the day? I love the theatricle approach of some old films, just look at the Ealing Comedies, but this just seems a little bit lame. Did that aeropane have an everlasting fuel tank and a transponder on Richard Hannay? It's always enjoyable being reminded how stupid good old fashioned bobbies were.

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This Boy's Life Year: 1993 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 17 May 14 Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro, Ellen Barkin, Eliza Dushku, Toby McGuire! Director: Michael Caton-Jones

Leonardo diCaprio has always been good, and there is no better evidence than this. Weird how Rober Di Nero never changes.

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This Is England Year: 2006 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 30 Mar 15 Starring: Stephen Graham, Thomas Turgoose, Joseph Gilgun, Jack O'Connell Director: Shane Meadows

A high rating for a 'gritty' film. It is a case in point of acting and cinematagraphy being very subservient to story and characters, as this film is filmed in the dullest parts of Nottingham and Grimsby, with a cast of largely unknown actors who, in cases, seem almost like a local theatre company, nevertheless, kudos too them for making a most excellent film.

Like End Of Watch which I saw a couple of days ago, and Calvary, which I will see a few days from now, but I don't know that yet, it breaks negative stereotypes in ways can be sometimes uplifting. What I found also fascinating was the feel of the film. Shane Meadows has made this look not just like it was set in the '80's it looks like it was made in the 80s. I mean the closest film too it in terms of looks and feel is Rita, Sue, and Bob Too (What a film!) but this is mid 2000s. I expected an uncomfortable glorification of the skinhead culture. I got a great deal of insight into peoples problems and weaknesses.

I was left thinking “ Jack O'Connell would have suited this ”.. Ha. Lo and behold he was in it!. Look out for the acting star of Stephen Graham who has gone onto a string of great films and, damn, I wish I'd have spotted it.. Al Capone in Boardwalk Empire

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Three Amigos Year: 1986 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Tue 23 Dec 25 Starring: Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Martin Short Director: John Landis

I don’t remember any of this film, and I can’t remember liking it as much. Until today! I thought I better catch up on my John Landis films, and this one passes muster. You have to kind of submit to the humour, but heck, it’s nearly Christmas so why not? Perhaps the film with the greatest number of real actors playing surly bad guys. Jake, I like Steve Martin.

”Well, we could take a walk and you could kiss me on the veranda?”

”Lips would be fine.”

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The Three Stooges Year: 2012 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 30 Nov 15 Starring: Chris Diamantopoulos, Will Sasso, Sean Hayes, Sofia Vergara, Craig Bierko, Larry David, Kate Upton, Jennifer Hudson, all of Jersey Shore! Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Knockout! Really! Literally! The humour is so gormless and violent, like the Chuckle Brothers on meth, right from the cute orphans bursting into song you realise this is going to be like good Jerry Lewis with 50's cartoon violence. I just couldn't help it. Sofia Vegara and Kate Upton, two of FHM's 2015 top 20 make it easy on the eye, and it is not so bad on the ear niether, As Jennifer Hudson is so awesome!!. Thoroughly entertaining watch once you have overcome your aversion to American Zanyness. Stay for the end.

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Tideland Year: 2005 Mark: 6 Watched: Sat 7 Feb 15 Starring: Jodelle Ferland, Brendan Fletcher, Janet McTeer, Jennifer Tilly, Jeff Bridges Director: Terry Gilliam

I guess I am the viewer who " just won't know what to think about it Would I rather have watched this than not watched it? Definitely. Is it thought provoking? My thoughts are provoked. Did I enjoy it? Not really.

What a wierd, disturbing film, it is the kind of thing which I can't wait to talk about with somebody. Like The Fall This gives a yound girl's perspective on the fucked up world we live in by imagining her imagination. The girl in this is truly brilliant but her world is well and truly fucked up... Damn. Like many disturbing films, I am positive that if I was judging it on merit as opposed to personal enjoyment this would rate Much higher. Just how accurate is it as an insight into a human mind? Damn damn damn!.

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A Time to Kill Year: 1996 Mark: 8.4 Watched: Mon 22 Dec 25 Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Spacey. Donald, Kiefer Sutherland, Brenda Fricker, Octavia Spencer, Oliver Platt, Patrick McGoohan Director: Joel Schumacher

Carl should have gone to the chair. Given the laws of the time and place, and the probability of guilt I don’t know how this happened, that he walked, free. Of course, three cheers for him being acquitted, in a star studded, John Grisham written, good versus evil trope ridden story of ugly, idiot, greasy haired, reckless drivin’, hard drinkin’ , child rapin’ good ol’ boys versus happy natives playing banjos in the sun, it was a no-brainer to enjoy. Good food and wine make it even better. But in its own universe it is hokum, and in the real universe isn’t it a shame?
1 Carl saved the state a trial and the execution of two guys who should have been executed under Danish jurisdiction, let alone Mississippi. Let’s say = $100,000.
2. Carl permanently disabled a cop. Let’s say = $500,000
3. Carl’s ten year old daughter was gang raped, beaten and left for dead, never to have children again; = $500,000? Now. argue about the figures by all means, my instinct is to go higher on the injuries, but I’m kind of leaning on VSOL guidance here.

Wouldn’t a fairer result have been. Carl, you somehow have to stump up $400,000. Now, your daughter has half a million in compo, so you have to take it out of that. If you hadn’t took the law into your own hands you would now be half a million richer. You have $100,000, but hang on a minute, you have to pay for your own trial, insane or not, so now. Break even. Really sorry about your daughter, but you are not judge, jury and executioner. We want people to know that justice is fair and, argue about the numbers by all means, but this is about right. It’s not black and white, all or nothing. It’s a whole palette of grey, with no lines of demarcation. You are free, but penniless, but at least it’s for the right reasons.

You want uncertainty? You want justice? 12 Angry Men

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Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Year: 2011 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Tue 6 Jan 26 Starring: Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt, Toby Jones, Mark Strong, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ciarán Hinds, David Dencik, Roger Lloyd-Pack, Kathy Burke, Stephen Graham, Christian McKay Director: Tomas Alfredson

£5 a month to Wikipedia is money well spent in that I read the synopsis of this film and kind of understood a little bit more about what was going on. Oh what a tangled web we weave! John Le Carré is notorious for convoluted stories that are difficult to untangle, I won’t spoil the plot, but this has a real 70s feel to it, Gary Oldman proves that less is more, and what a cast. If you watched everything ever made by the top ten actors in this film, you would never run out. Is it just me, or did they all look older in 2011 then they do in 2025. This is one of those ‘probably a better film than the mark I gave it might indicate’ I did enjoy it.

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Titanic Year: 1997 Oscar Mark: 10 Watched: Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslett, Maggie Smith, Billy Zane, Bernard Hill, Euan Gryfford Director: James Cameron

I am sure I didn't breathe for at least half an hour of this film. I know some people would disagree with me, probably the same people who don't like Steps. Fuck 'em

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Tobruk Year: 1967 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 19 Jun 14 Starring: Rock Hudson, George Peppard Director: Arthur Hiller

There are plenty worse ways to spend an afternoon then watching this set the stall out for Indiana Jones. It make you think how it was tough being Gay back in the day. Rock Hudson is perfectly likeable, and its just a good yarn.

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Tom Jones Year: 1963 Oscar Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 15 Feb 16 Starring: Albert Finney, Susannah York, Hugh Griffith, Edith Evans, Diane Cilento, Joyce Redman Director: Tony Richardson

Half way through this I was caroused out. I mean, there is a lot of carousing. This film seems to have a really original approach, kind of almost fly on the wall mocumentary style, I have to say, the hunting scene really gives a flavour of the thrill of the chase, and apparently a lot of the fighting and falling over was for real! Was it a better film than it's contemporaries? I don't know, but all in all worth the watch.

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Tombstone Year: 1993 Mark: 7.6 Watched: Sat 4 Feb 17 Starring: Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Powers Boothe, Michael Biehn, Dana Delany, Billy Zane, Charlton Heston, Robert Mitchum. Director: George P. Cosmatos

The same as, but different to Wyatt Earp, both films stand up on their own, producing sufficiently different angles on the same story to maintain attention throughout. I figure it was about this time that Kurt Russell started getting good.

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Tomorrowland Year: 2015 Mark: 7 Watched: Fri 22 May 15 Starring: Britt Robertson, George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Raffey Cassidy, Tim McGraw Director: Brad Bird

Sitting writing about this and I want to mark it up, nevertheless I'll leave it at the 7 I gave it three quarters of the way through, in that it was cram full of stunning scenes and action, and an absolutely brilliant speech from Hugh Laurie, when the girl looked up from designing cars at the end it kind of exposed it as the cop out it was. SPOILER ALERT, the film is based on the premise that if you are optimistic everything will be peachy. That is a complete non sequiteur.

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Tootsie Year: 1982 Mark: 8.7 Watched: Fri 16 Sep 16 Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Bill Murray, Jessica Lange ‡O , Teri Garr, Dabney Coleman, Charles Durning, Sydney Pollack, George Gaynes, Geena Davis Director: Sydney Pollack

What an acting genius Dustin Hoffman is, his performances raising this well made comedy a whole notch. Strange how this and Some Like It Hot are numbers one and two on the AFI comedy list. No way should they be 1 and 2, but they are definitely top 200. So many faces and names I recognised in this cast, so much so that I'm rushing to finish this so I can look them up.

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Touch The Top Of The World Year: 2006 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Thu 27 Mar 14 Starring: Peter Facinelli Director: Peter Winther

In the same vein as Touching The Void without the level of drama and production qualities, and a little bit more backstory on the protagonist which is a little David Copperfield ish, in that it becomes a little overbearing to watch a hagiography. I think a plot summary would not be out of place so basically; it is the story of Erik Weihenmayer, the first blind person to climb Everest.

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Touching The Void Year: 2003 Mark: 9.3 Watched: Fri 28 Oct 16 Starring: Brendan Mackey Director: Kevin Macdonald

Breathtaking, gripping, amazing true story which compines the (adjective fails) scenery and an insight into humanity in the most extreme circumstances. When I used to come home from St Wilfred's I used to go to Pontefract Library (The old building) and read books on climbing. I never did get to go to the Andes or Himalayas, but I eventually climbed every hill in the Lake District. Heck, If I hadn't waited 40 years to climb the last 11 I'd have been one of the first on the list. Anyhoo, I can not remember much of the detail of this, only that Studio Canal make blow you away documentaries. If they ever screen this on iMax...

P.S. The Guardian described it as "the most successful documentary in British cinema history"!
PPS. It won Best Film at the BAFTA awards in 2004!!
- I can see that.

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Tower Heist Year: 2011 Mark: 7.6 Watched: Wed 17 Feb 16 Starring: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Téa Leoni, Michael Peña, Gabourey Sidibe, Jud Hirsch, Kate Upton Director: Brett Ratner

An enjoyable caper in which Ben Stiller paves the way for his most excellent Walter Mitty . I just can't wait to read the goofs page on IMDB regarding cranes and gold etc, but that hardly matters regarding a story which is enjoyable hokum, a thououghly pleasant evening's escapism. I have just realised there was no outright female eye candy in it, unless you count the FBI agent, but she didn't actually parade he cleavage around if you know what I mean. Kudos! .

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Toy Story Year: 1995 Mark: 9.8 Watched: Sat 23 Jan 16 Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Erik von Detten, Laurie Metcalf, R. Lee Ermey, Penn Jillette, Greg Berg, Debi Derryberry, Phil Proctor, Andrew Stanton Director: John Lasseter

If you want a fight about this being the best trilogy of all time you will have to go somewhere else, 'cos much as I love Back To The Future I am not prepared to risk injury in its defence over this. The thing is just about every single aspect of this film is close to perfect, so what is the point, I can't fault it. (OK Sid gets a bit of a bad rap and, and, that's the best I can do!). It is absolutely unbelievable that Pocahontas beat this to just about everything at the Oscars for the year, Colors Of The Wind better than You've Got A Friend In Me ??? You are shittin' me aren't you?.

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Toy Story 2 Year: 1999 Mark: 9.7 Watched: Sat 23 Jan 16 Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Don Rickles, Jim Varney, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Annie Potts, Estelle Harris, Wayne Knight, John Morris, Laurie Metcalf, R. Lee Ermey, Jodi Benson, Jonathan Harris, Joe Ranft, Robert Goulet, Jeff Pidgeon, Andrew StantonTim Allen, Joan Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Don Rickles, Jim Varney, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Annie Potts, Estelle Harris, Wayne Knight, John Morris, Laurie Metcalf, R. Lee Ermey, Jodi Benson, Jonathan Harris, Joe Ranft, Robert Goulet, Jeff Pidgeon, Andrew Stanton Director: John Lasseter

Like Toy Story but with the addition of another fabulous tune which does everything a film song should do in moving the story along and really tugging the heart strings (When She Loved Me ). If anybody ever reads this and would like me to look after their dog for a few months whilst you try and make something of your life, you just have to ask. Hell, I'd do that even for the people I don't like!.

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Toy Story 3 Year: 2010 Oscar animated Mark: 10 Watched: Sun 24 Jan 16 Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, John Morris, Don Rickles, Blake Clark, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Estelle Harris, Michael Keaton, Jodi Benson, Emily Hahn, Jeff Pidgeon, Timothy Dalton, Kristen Schaal, Jeff Garlin, Bonnie Hunt, Whoopi Goldberg, Jack Angel, Jan Rabson, John Cygan, Laurie Metcalf, Lori Alan, Beatrice Miller, R. Lee Ermey, Teddy Newton, Richard Kind, Bud Luckey, Javier Fernández Peña, Charlie Bright, Amber Kroner, Brianna Maiwand, Erik von Detten, Jack Willis, Lee Unkrich, Bob Peterson Director: Lee Unkrich

I once had a teddy bear called Toffee and a lamb called Leesie. I went away for a while and when I got back they had gone. I did love that Teddy Bear, and I wish he was on the shelf now just for a reminder of when I imagined I was happy, when I trusted people, trusted my parents, thought that brothers and sisters were there for you, when friends were friends, not people who you look at through their window diverting your call whilst you are phoning them up.

My dad was rubbish. There, I've said it. The only reason he took us to Butlins was so he could bone Kath Duker. I was captain of the First XV at school, picked to play for the county, and was making a name for myself at Pontefract Rugby Club and he never ever saw me play for even a minute, he just sat in his room and smoked 40 Senior Service a day and wrote letters to the Pont and Cas telling people to smoke (He was a fucking Doctor). The shop was less than 100 yards and he never walked there. Never once can I even remember walking down our street with him. And when he died he left me nothing, not even a book. We hadn't fallen out, I went to see him on a regular basis, I tried to persuade him out, but oh no, he wouldn't even come to The Rustic Arms to see his grandchildren playing on the swings. Not even a fucking book.

I have got four children now, and seven nephews and nieces. All my life I have taken them all out, that's all my home video collection is. I taught at least three of them to ride bikes, took risks with them, and still thoroughly love them all. My four children are in their twenties now and how many times have they been taken out by their aunties and uncles (I'm talking about 'looked after as kids for a treat' out, not out 'let's meet for a meal where I pay £36 for four drinks' out)? None. I cannot remember once. I've lived in this house for the best part of twenty years, and I bet that apart from Barbara, my brothers and sisters have not called round here four times between 'em. So I'm a cunt, tell me something I don't know already, but my brother, the Godfather of one of my daughters, who lives less than a kilometre away - Oh he's a peach. Said daughter was in a bad place for the best part of a year, and with his busy, fucking, cunting, bastarding, pussy, want to smash your face completely in right now, schedule, never came to see her once (I don't live in the same house as her, so its not like I was a threat, it's not that I am a threat, I'd forgive him right now if he'd only fess up).

You've Got A Friend In Me ? Maybe not, but I would suggest that I am a better person to you as your enemy than many of your precious 'fwends' really are, because from me, you will get the truth. You will get answers, and I will always try and help.

Yeah, you guessed, I'm a fucked up guy, but this film, for a few minutes helped me escape from it all and cry. Genius.

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Trading Places Year: 1983 Mark: 10 Watched: 24/12/14, 21/12/25 Starring: Dan Aykroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis, Eddie Murphy, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche, Denholm Elliot Director: John Landis

Could this be the finest insight into the social sciences ever made? A 'message' film which by-passes a three year degree course to illuminate the viewer, and a funny and perfectly delivered script. Eddie Murphy at his best, Dan Aykroyd doesn't miss a deadpan beat, and Jamie Lee Curtis gets her tits out. Denholm Elliott makes you proud to be British. Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche just absolutely nail the Duke Brothers. Oh and it opens with the overture from The Marriage Of Figaro, a soundtrack that could have been written for John Landis's typical but superb semi-comedic but ultra- revealing juxtapositional shots of wealth and lots of poverty in Philadelphia. Top ten! I really don't want to die, so I can watch this every Christmas with my kids and grand-kids and their kids and grand kids.

I can’t believe eleven years have elapsed since that last review. I’m on my own looking after a cat and house in Cambridge, and it’s even better than I remembered.

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Train Dreams Year: 2025 Mark: 6.8 Watched: Sat 13 Dec 25 Starring: Joel Edgerton, Felicity Jones, Clifton Collins Jr., Kerry Condon, William H. Macy Director: Clint Bentley

This was more like a painting than a book, the narrative subsumed by the cinematography, the mood. Now it was beautifully done, and I think that many a viewer would rate it very much higher, nevertheless 6.8 means pretty pretty goood. Was it about futility or utility of human life? I think it was both, but fundamentally not an unhappy ending. It may have been a better watch sat with someone you love. I’ve a real thing for Joel Edgerton ever since I watched The Gift, which he directed. Felicity Jones? Yep she did the trick. Don’t they have American actors nowadays? Don’t expect a jack in the box, the film comes in and fades out, and I think that is precisely what it was meant too. I’d recommend if only to see if you see what I mean

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Trainspotting Year: 1996 Mark: 8.2 Watched: Fri 31 Mar 17 Starring: Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, Kevin McKidd, Kelly Macdonald, Peter Mullan, Eileen Nicholas, James Cosmo, Susan Vidler, Pauline Lynch, Shirley Henderson, Stuart McQuarrie, Irvine Welsh, Kevin Allen, Keith Allen, Dale Winton Director: Danny Boyle

I did not realise how good this film was when I first saw it. It really puts the dark in dark comedy, is incredibly uncomfortable to watch in parts, but it is the natural, grown up and drug dependent descendant of The Ladykillers, That Sinking Feeling, and Withnail and I. A slew of great actors early in their careers hold the attention, a rightfully acclaimed soundtrack exploits that post Now 20 British pop genre, and I just can't wait to see T2. Do not expect uncontrollable mirth, but if somebody says this is their favourite film, I fully understand. .

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Trainwreck Year: 2015 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 2 Sep 15 Starring: Amy Schumer, Bill Hader, LeBron James, Chris Evert, Brie Larson, Tilda Swinton, Daniel Radcliffe, Marrisa Tomie, John Cena, Matthew Broderick Director: Judd Apatow

Wow! Surprised to enjoy a rom com as much as this, it actually rocks, hard and long, there were times a third of the way through when I was toying with 8.5 for this, it was that good. A host of cool cameos, If there was a girlie award for writing and acting, Amy Schumer would be the winner. She is super hot without being a model, the dialogue is dope and yes, music does make moments. Not as zany as Vacation, yet it's seeming blend of humour and intelligence are, at least to me, most appealing. Serendipity eh? .

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Transformers Year: 2007 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sun 29 Mar 15 Starring: Shia La Boef, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor, John Turturro, Jon Voight Director: Michael Bay

Great start, but I realise why I can't remember much about me watching it first time; The last hour is devoid of story, and because it is CGI it is just a (SPOILER ALERT) boring fight during which I drifted between sleep and consciousness to see a Bay-fest of impact smashes and explosions.

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Transformers 4: Age Of Extinction Year: 2014 Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 14 Jul 14 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Peter Cullen, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe Director: Michael Bay

This might have been better with 30 minutes of editing. It was enjoyable, the cast, were great and/or hot (Wahlberg most excellent, Tucci goes from strength to strength), the cinematography and music outstanding. It did roll on for a long time though. Definitely worth the watch, but go to the bog before it starts.

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Tremors Year: 1990 Mark: 7 Watched: Thu 30 Jan 14 Starring: Kevin Bacon, Ariana Richards, Fred Ward Director: Ron Underwood

Hilarious. Very toungue in cheek monster movie, Ridiculous concept, ham, acting, cheesy dialogue. 98% on Rotten Tomatos!!! WTF?.

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Troll Hunter Year: 2011 Mark: 7 Watched: Mon 3 Aug 15 Starring: Otto Jespersen Director: André Øvreda

Quirky. As me Julia pointed out Otto Jespersen (Hans the trollhunter) should be employed in every single Hollywood blockbuster henceforth, as your go to Scandinavian. The 'kids' in the film kind of got on my nerves because a) The lad looked and acted like Ant McPartland and b) The girl did nothing but make stupid faces at the camera. CGI now has to be very impressive to impress. It is comedic without being a laugh a minute and I think perhaps I was nervous watching it with a large group to let myself get lost in it. Whatever, for fans of Scandinavian horror/comic/mocumentary it is a must-see.

Where the hell have I seen the beginning of this film before?.

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Trolls Year: 2016 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Wed 9 Nov 16 Starring: Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake, Zooey Deschanel, Russell Brand, James Corden, Gwen Stefani, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Christine Baranski, John Cleese, Jeffrey Tambor, Quvenzhané Wallis Director: Mike Mitchell, Walt Dohrn

A noble effort from Dreamworks which I would be happy to take any of my kids and friends to see. I am the world's biggest cynic when it comes to Juke Box musicals, yet I just can't help falling for I'm Coming Out and what has becoming the national anthem of feel-good films, September, which has been used as the closing track for four of the 750 movies I have reviewed. Why not in the eights and nines of other animations? That is an interesting thought, but I think the more identifiable lead characters of Carl, Riley, Shrek, Woody and Buzz probably strike more of an empathic chord with me.

The second consecutive film I watched in an afternoon starring Anna Kendrick with Geoffrey Tambor (see The Accountant), on a day of four films when I can't remember blinking! -A Street Cat Named Bob and Nocturnal Creatures were the others.

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Tropic Thunder Year: 2008 Mark: 8.5 Watched: Tue 21 Jan 14 Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jnr, Reggie Lee, Matthew McConaghy, Steve Coogan, Danny McBride Director: Ben Stiller

Somebody told me I would be dissapointed by this. I wasn't. Big stars ripping into their trade with comedy and a little ferocity. Robert Downey Jnr is funny as fuck, Ben Stiller is Ben Stiller (I'm sure he does 'Blue Steel'), Jack Black is ..., Mathew McConaghy is beginning to be recognisable to me.

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True Grit (2010) Year: 2010 Mark: 7.3 Watched: Mon 4 Jul 16 Starring: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper, Hailee Steinfeld Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

I wonder if Westerns are so popular because of the scenery they film them in? Perhaps, whatever. There is not enough Josh Brolin in this, but I am only saying that because I am gay for him. Hailee Steinfeld steals the show here, with real poise and command of that fantastic Coen brothers dialogue.

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The Truman Show Year: 1998 Mark: 7 Watched: Tue 12 Jul 11 Starring: Jim Carrey, Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich, Ed Harris, Natascha McElhone Director: Peter Weir

A fresh watch even though I have seen it before. I really feel uncomfortable with universes that behave irrationally given their context, I mean a story teller can create the stage he wants, why does he have to make it go off at a tangent to itself? For example, the outside of the set for The Truman Show was shown in Hollywood. Why did they just not build it in Florida on the coast where the film was filmed and where you can have sea and islands. Are you telling me they kept a nuclear power station set on standby for thirty years on the off chance that he might just kidnap his wife and force her to drive over a bridge? It didn't have to be that way.

Ed Harris was brilliant as homo-artistic-malevolant Christophe and was it the Philip Glass part of the score which was outstanding or was it the other guy's? Was the concept believable? - yes, I am pretty sure that Space Cadets indicated that you could pick people who would suspend any amount of disbelief for any amount of time.

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The Truman Show Year: 1998 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Sat 1 Nov 25 Starring: Director:

Write reviews within 24 hours! I’m going to leaver my previous thoughts up, but up the grade just a tad

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The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent Year: 2022 Mark: 10 Watched: Mon 29 Dec 25 Starring: Nicolas Cage, Pedro Pascal, Sharon Horgan, Neil Patrick Harris, Tiffany Haddish, Paco León Director: Tom Gormicon

I feel I should mark this down a tiny notch, I mean, how can a self effacing pastiche action comedy be put in the same bracket as Schindler’s List and It’s A Wonderful Life? Humour. How in control of his actual life is Nick Cage? Shakes head. I messaged my son with a screenshot and the message “NFK”. He replied back from 200 miles away ten minutes later with a screenshot of – Nicolas FUCKING Cage! I can’t explain it. Great minds think alike

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Unbreakable Year: 2000 Mark: 7 Watched: Thu 10 Sep 15 Starring: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Robin Wright, Charlayne Woodard, M. Night Shyamalan, Michael Kelly Director: M. Night Shyamalan

I watched this on the advisement of Mark Laycock, after dissing The Visit True to form it slots in to the Shyalaman timeline, in that it is not quite up there with The Sixth Sense, but definitely trumps Signs. The trouble is KIND OF SPOILER ALERT, the moment you know it is Shyalaman, you are looking for the twist. My wish is that he does a film but keeps his name under wraps, and that he actually abandons ideas of making another masterpiece and builds a story for its own sake, not just for the denoument. Look.. this is a good film, but it is not In Bruges

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Unbroken Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Thu 15 Jan 15 Starring: Jack O'Connell, Domhnall Gleeson Director: Angelina Jolie

Thumbs up for the film and the actor of the year Jack O'Connell. His films don't score really big becasue they are disturbing to watch. This one kept my attention for 139 minutes, it had its highs and lows, it took liberties with the historical narrative but it all worked. O'Connell is that good I thought he might have been playing the 7 year old version of Louis in this film. I don't think I would have recognised him unless I had known beforehand.

Of course one has to compare it to the years other POW film, and if I remember rightly, The Railwayman comes out slightly ahead. Let me check.... Yep. Both my favourite composer of the moment Alexander Desplat. All the Oscar nominees are being put on at the cinema now (January 2015) so it makes it difficult to say if you agree with some of them or not. Whiplash, Big Eyes, American Sniper all to watch. Should this get any awards? No, but it deserves recognition as a good watch.

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Under Siege 1 Year: 1992 Mark: 7 Watched: Starring: Steven Segal, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Colm Meaney Director: Andrew Davis

Look.. It's only a film. With guns, and explosions and macho one liners.

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Under Siege 2 – Dark Territory Year: 1995 Mark: 7 Watched: Tue 14 Jan 14 Starring: Steven Segal, Katherine Heigl Director: Geoff Murphy

Look.. It's only a film. With guns, and explosions and macho one liners.

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Under The Skin Year: 2013 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Mon 29 Dec 14 Starring: Scarlet Johanssen, Lots of non-actor extras Director: Jonathan Glazer

Much of this film was impressive, Scarlett Johannsen conveys such perfect sexuality, I could very easily identify with the men she met. Those men were largely duped into the scenes being filmed by hidden cameras which is definitely worth watching. The film, however, failed to maintain my intrest throughout, in that we did kind of have the same scene four or five times, and given the sparsity of dialogue (13 minutes before the first words) I was becoming bored waiting for development. As a story concept it is terrific, but it is almost analogous to human emotion changes. If the cinematagraphy was meant to make Scotland look bleak, poor, cold and depressing it was terrific. The cast, given they were Johannseen and a bunch of non-luvvies were awesome. It could still have been a one hour Tales of the Unexpected .

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Unforgiven Year: 1992 Oscar Mark: 8.3 Watched: Fri 4 Nov 16 Starring: Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman, Peter O'Toole Director: Clint Eastwood

Another in the long list of films I had seen but not reviewed contemporaneously. This was what I wrote originally

"The last great western? No, but perhaps the last great spaghetti western

On the rewatch it seems I got my rating about right (I had guessed an 8.5) and the short review was not untrue. So I'm pleased enough to stand by it. What was very good about this film in a technical sense that there were no 'goodies' and 'baddies'. There were just lots of people who were good and bad and who got tough breaks and often deserved them. For its bravery, in not stereotyping heroes and villains, none more so than Hackman's Little Bill Daggett, I can see why this film won the Oscar.

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Unfriended Year: 2015 Mark: 7 Watched: Sat 2 May 15 Starring: Shelley Hennig Director: Levan Gabriadze

SPOILER ALERT: five or six American teens get embroiled in spooky shit, but instead of running away ASAP, they get dragged in, with frightening consequences. The thing is with this it is very originally and cleverly done, and maintains the interest for the short running time of less than 90 minutes (Watch it, you will see what I mean). Good story, good cast, good concept, the most original horror film since Blair Witch .

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Unthinkable Year: 2010 Mark: 7.7 Watched: Sun 12 Feb 17 Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Sheen, Carrie-Anne Moss, Brandon Routh, Gil Bellows, Martin Donovan, Stephen Root Director: Gregor Jordan

Samuel L Jackson does it again, and takes part in a film that has real backbone, posing ideas and concepts which we should all play a great deal more attention to. Every one in this film carries you along, Michael Sheen is of course a shoe in for that, but Carrie Anne Moss delivers that rare commodity, a woman who behaves like a woman and delivers her female strength, instead of trying to incorporate the male idea of power into her persona. Not what you would call a laugh a minute film, and I presume a lot of people might think they get it, but actually don't follow that through by actually understanding themselves. .

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Up Year: 2009 Oscar animated Mark: 9.7 Watched: Fri 8 Jan 16 Starring: Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, John Ratzenberger, Pete Docter Director: Pete Docter

Pete Docter is a genius (I had seen this before I saw Inside Out ) and a rewatch of this confirms it. Incredibly beautiful to just look at, I had tears streaming down my cheeks at the story and acting (you know what I mean), it is just a totally life affirming film, and my goodness, I have rarely identified with a character as much as I have with Carl. He is up there with George Bailey and Elphaba as someone you can really pull for. A masterpiece.

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V For Vendetta Year: 2006 Mark: 6.8 Watched: Thu 5 Nov 15 Starring: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea, John Hurt, Stephen Fry, Tim Pigott-Smith, Rupert Graves, Roger Allam, John Standing, Sinéad Cusack, Natasha Wightman, Imogen Poots Director: James McTeigue

Why people hate me, volume 51115

I appropriately watched this on Bonfire Night at the behest of my beloved neighbour, Danni, who had put up a quote from it on her FaceBook page, namely "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people " To which I, naturally, replied "Why on Earth should a government be afraid of people in a 'democracy' where over 55% of the people have less than 5% of the wealth? Amen my arse, they should be laughing to their back teeth reading FaceBook at all the lilly livered cunts whinging about how bad things are, without doing anything about it. (Don't take it personally Dan, you are fab!) "

The thing is, the quote, and the film illicit the same reaction in me, that as humans we observe films, history, stories and analogies and imagine that we are not collectively horrible, and that we all go on about "ewww, Selma, Suffragette, 12 Years A Slave, Schindler's List, that wouldn't happen on our watch ", but the fact is, it is going ahead full steam on our watch, this second, this minute this year, and we are fuckin' moronically oblivious to it.

I was in the sauna yesterday, some bloke walks in, a Labour councillor from Normanton, and he told us about how the Conservative councillors attend 8 two hour meetings per year to claim their full £12,000 councillor's allowance. He went on to explain the math to us; £750 per hour. I then pointed out there would be many Labour councillors who would do exactly the same thing, that the demography of either party regarding all aspects of human 'goodness' was probably indistinguishable. He then said, quote "Ah but we don't use it as a stick to beat them (i.e. the Tories) with" I pointed out that he had just spent the previous two minutes doing precisely that. It didn't sadden me that Councillors might be greedy, or even that he had the Efrontery to contradict himself in the space of 60 seconds and refuse to acknowledge it. It worried me a little that he tried to change the subject by inferring that I had somehow dissed an old friend of mine who was a councillor (I hadn't). The real permanent, inescapable tragedy was that a friend of over 30 years, sitting one yard away from both of us would not acknowledge the glaringly inescapable contradiction, choosing to say something along the lines of "it's nothing to do with me ", and that far from being unique, he was being absolutely, typically, mundanely, 'nicely' human.

Which brings us to the film. The sofa family sucked, Steven Fry seems like a bit of an add-on. I mean I love the guy, but Gosford Park, The Hobbit part 12 .. I'm being picky. Look, what do I know? I'm the only person I know who was cynical about 1984, but like I said, I carry a lot of baggage when it comes to my faith in collective humanity, and when I see films which make people feel right-on, I gag a little. And it saddens me that the majority of people do not, can not, comprehend why.

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Vacation Year: 2015 Mark: 8 Watched: Tue 1 Sep 15 Starring: Ed Helms, Christina Applegate, Leslie Mann, Chris Hemsworth, Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo Director: John Francis Daley, Jonathan M Goldstein

Literally a laugh-a-minute goof-fest, from start to finish, this, I discover, is a sequel, a re-make and a re-boot! I didn't have to be too self-conscious about laughing out loud as I was most definitely not alone. I was only slightly disappointed in that... Nah, that would be a spoiler alert, see if you can spot it. And yes.. (I'm thinking to myself) music does make moments. Excellent, so happy I saw it. I'm sorry that this is not a more coherent review, but it is a bonding road trip movie, and anything else would just give away the elements. I'm sure if you don't enjoy this at least a bit you can go and watch Metropolis or something, and ignore my reviews of American comedies in future.

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Valkyrie Year: 2007 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 19 Aug 15 Starring: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Eddie Izzard, Terence Stamp, Tom Wilkinson, Bernard Hill Director: Brian Singer

Wow, what a film, what a story. This seemed like 35 minutes, it maintained my attention so completely, guys you were really pulling for, tremendous tension, and all a true story. You couldn'r write a yarn like it. Tom Cruise is officially OK now.

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Vampire's Kiss Year: 1989 Mark: 4.5 Watched: Sun 20 Jan 13 Starring: Nick Cage Director:

To review

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Vanilla Sky Year: 2001 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Tue 5 Aug 14 Starring: Tom Cruise, Penélope Cruz, Kurt Russell, Jason Lee, Noah Taylor, Cameron Diaz, Timothy Spall, Tilda Swinton, Steven Spielberg, Johnny Galecki Director: Cameron Crowe

Writing this before I've finished the film, but I can't wait to do so. Tom Cruise Sci Fi gets better as the years wear on. (see The Edge of Tomorrow .

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The Virgin Soldiers Year: 1969 Mark: 6.3 Watched: Sat 17 Oct 15 Starring: Hywell Bennett, Lynn Redgrave, Nigel Davenport, Michael Gwynn, Geoffrey Hughes, Roy Holder Director: John Dexter

Like Kes This has been a film that has been around all my life without me seeing it, and I'm not unhappy that I filled in the gap. I wouldn't say it's a must see, but it'll while away an afternoon, seeing who you can spot in it (My favourite was Lord Melbury from Fawlty Towers ).

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Virtuosity Year: 1995 Mark: 4.7 Watched: Sun 15 Nov 15 Starring: Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, Louise Fletcher, William Fichtner, Kaley Cuoco, Traci Lords Director: Brett Leonard

I tried to avoid revealing the plot of films, but I can't avoid it here. Crowe and Washington are having a competition to see who is the gayest. Denzell starts well in a nice blue leather number, but Russell actually wins hands down (or at least he was well in front by the time I turned it off after 45 minutes).

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The Visit Year: 2015 Mark: 4.5 Watched: Wed 9 Sep 15 Starring: Ed Oxenbould, Kathryn Hahn Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Another two hours waiting for someone to say "Boo!" In it's favour the lad was terrific, and there were some jumps during it but please COME ON!! nobody in any universe would be as stupid as these peoples because their stupid ancestors would have stupided themselves out of the gene pool eons ago. M. Night Shyamalan gets worse, I mean, Sixth Sense = Awesome, Signs = mmm, The Happening = "Amy Adams dodged a bullet", and now this. Didn't watch the last 10 minutes, it's two hours I'll never get back, so let's be positive an imagine that as 600 seconds profit?.

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The Walk Year: 2015 Mark: 8.8 Watched: Sun 11 Oct 15 Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ben Kingsley, Charlotte Le Bon, James Badge Dale, Ben Schwartz, Steve Valentine Director: Robert Zemeckis

How can they possibly make a feature length film about a bloody tight-rope walk? I mean next thing you know they'll be filming a dozen cantankerous old bastards in a room to argue with each other for 90 minutes over some punk who is bang to rights for knifing his dad.

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A Walk Among The Tombstones Year: 2014 Mark: 5.5 Watched: Mon 29 Sep 14 Starring: Liam Neeson, Dan Stevens Director: Scott Frank

Pretty predictable fodder in which the gnarly old stager (Neeson) is persuaded by moral compunction to break out of retirement to take on the bad guys with increasing levels of jeopardy and violence.

Plenty of vigilante justice from the tortured anti hero on Metropolitan East coast where the bad guys are pretty unambiguously bad and vice versa for the good ones.

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A Walk In The Woods Year: 2015 Mark: 6 Watched: Wed 30 Sep 15 Starring: Robert Redford, Nick Nolte, Kristen Schaal, Nick Offerman, Mary Steenburgen, Emma Thompson Director: Ken Kwapis

So much more of a watch than Wild, this didn't suck half as much as it could have done. I suppose, when all's said and done, Billy Bryson is an entertaining bloke.

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Walking On Sunshine Year: 2014 Mark: 0 Watched: Not Watched Starring: Annabel Scholey, Leona Lewis Director: Max Giwa, Dania Pasquini

There are some places you just don't wanna go. Having been tortured by the trailers for the best part of six months, I can confidently say that I would actually pay not to go and see this film. Now. I am always open to persuasion, as sharing the torture would lighten the load a little bit, but.. a girly wedding, with token everythings bar reality, set in a Watneys Red Barrell resort featuring the music that put me off music ( Wake me Up before you Go Go ) performed terribly ( How will I Know ) with a cast of EastEnders and Casualty extras is about as close to Hades as I can imagine. You are going to say " Ah It's only a bit of fun " . For you it might be, but listen, just listen to the trailer featuring a clip from their version of The Power of Love . We are not talking the dirge by Jennifer Rush, or the Frankie Aplin thing. We are talking about the signature of a generation from from one of ther best albums ever made that was the theme to the greatest film trilogy in the history of mankind so far, (and that includes Star Wars and The Godfather ) and ask yourself - "If the producers are prepared to perform such brutal anal gang rape on this innocent, is that where they will stop?

No.

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WALL-E Year: 2008 Oscar animated Mark: 5 Watched: Tue 22 Sep 15 Starring: Ben Burt Director: Andrew Stanton

What what what? Only a five for such an accoladed film? I gave Inside Out a ten!

Don't ask me why, I loved Chappie and hated Short Circuit . I liked Tears For Fears and OMD, but couldn't stand Depeche Mode.

Is it because I feel there is something lacking in honesty about this film (from the studio which bought you Cars ) along with paucity of story, dialogue and characters? Some people loved 2001 . It was a dull dirge, COME ON.

Sorry, if your a fan, it's just not my tempo

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Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit Year: 2005 Oscar animated Mark: 7.4 Watched: Sat 28 May 16 Starring: Peter Sallis, Peter Kay, Helena Bonham Carter, Ralph Fiennes Director: Nick Park, Steve Box

Another animation which is long on production, long on corny jokes but just a bit short on story. Worth seeing once

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War Dogs Year: 2016 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Tue 6 Sep 16 Starring: Jonah Hill, Miles Teller, Ana de Armas, Bradley Cooper Director: Todd Phillips

This might have been even better if one hadn't seen The Wolf Of Wall Street and Lord Of War first. Jonah Hill is getting repetitively typecast (think of him in Moneyball etc), yet.. Yet... This film had enough to offer to justify the card, with Miles Teller giving his side of the story in an interesting, without being totally fascinating, true (?!) story.

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War On Everyone Year: 2016 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Thu 13 Oct 16 Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Michael Peña, Theo James Director: John Michael McDonagh

Michael Peña really makes some watchable films, his dialogue is slick, his nuance is ubercool. This is not what you would call a mega unpredictable story, SPOILER ALERT, the bullet proof vest is always a cheap shot, but it in addition to Skarsgaard and Peña, the minor characters are very amusing, so if you like a buddy cop shoot 'em up, get the popcorn, you will like this.

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Warcraft Year: 2016 Mark: 6.8 Watched: Tue 7 Jun 16 Starring: Paula Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper, Toby Kebbell, Ben Schnetzer, Robert Kazinsky Director: Duncan Jones

I don't think I'd want to watch it at home, but sat with our Graham eating a Subway it definitely had its moments without ever straying from what one would imagine a modern epic fantasy about hoards of Orcs invading a medieval kingdom through a magic portal would be like! OK.

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The Warriors Year: 1979 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 1 Oct 16 Starring: Michael Beck, James Remar, Deborah Van Valkenburgh, Roger Hill, David Patrick Kelly, Lynne Thigpen Director: Walter Hill

The third of a trio of action classics that I watched in as many days, and this, for me, is the stand out one, although I am sure my opinions are coloured by personal nostalgia. Absolute hokum from start to finish, full of chase scenes where the persuers and persued remain equidistant, or at least as far apart as the width of camera shot encompasses, despite wearing high heels. The thing is, this has people you can really really root for and against, all set in a just believable contemporary cityscape ridden with clichés but blessed with lots of good things, (for example a really nice grasp on racial stereotyping when it is needed and avoidance of tokenism when it is not). Under that analysis, combining merit along with enjoyment it gets upped by point two!.

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Watchmen Year: 2009 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 5 Jul 14 Starring: Billy Cruddup, Nicola Stephenson, Malin Åkerman, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson Director: Zack Snyder

I've watched this twice, and still don't get it all. That is not a negative criticism in the slightest, but I am fascinated by the ambiguity of moral choice, and this film delves into it with some terrifically polar characters, I love Roscharch, even though I don't know where he came from, so i guess I will just have to watch this again.

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The Way Back Year: 2010 Mark: 7 Watched: Tue 15 Apr 14 Starring: Jim Sturgess, Ed Harris, Colin Farrell, Mark Strong Director: Peter Wier

Reasonable watch/ Colin Farrell and Mark Strong are unexpected, Ed Harris is awesome. Good scenery massive variety, blah blah blah.

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The Way We Were Year: 1973 Mark: 7 Watched: Sun 31 May 15 Starring: Barbra Striesand, Robert Redford, James Woods Director: Sydney Pollack

I thought it was going to be a lot worse than it was. The Oscar winning tune was overplayed, without a doubt, I can't make my mind up if I love or loathe Robert Redford and Barbra Striesand certainly is not the orthodox starlet, yet, I could not help having empathy with her part. It is tough to sit through films like this when you have the box set of House Of Cards to wade through, but it certainly wasn't a wasted evening. They could have gone further with the politics.

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West Side Story Year: 1961 Oscar Mark: 7 Watched: Starring: Natalie Wood, Richard Beymer, Russ Tamblyn, Rita Moreno, George Chakiris Director: Robert Wise, Jerome Robbins

This could be the best soundtrack ever, nevertheless it is a stage show and the film comes across as such

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Westworld Year: 1973 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Sun 2 Oct 16 Starring: Yul Brynner, Richard Benjamin, James Brolin, Majel Barrett Director: Michael Crichton

Without refering to it immediately, I do believe this is what is termed a 'cult-classic' and I can understand why. 1973, and like Star Trek TOS, the science fiction seems incredibly naieve. I am sure that any reasonable scientist would have told you that if you can create perfectly life-like androids, you would not be using tape for data storage and use! The film itself seemed to try to vewre into comedy in some parts without being succesfull, and it really is a relic of The Hayes code with its treatment of sex as something very naughty instead of just fucking normal. All that aside it was reasonably enjoyable and I am glad I watched it and its Blazing Saddles meets the Posiedon Adventure/2001 naffness! Apart from Yul Brenner (who is dead) where are they all now?

BTW it is Jurrasic Park but not!.

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What We Did On Our Holiday Year: 2014 Mark: 7 Watched: Wed 1 Oct 14 Starring: Rosamund Pike, David Tennant, Billy Connolly, Ben Crosby, Amelia Bullmore Director: Andy Hamilton, Guy Jenkin

As this film wore on, and as time has elapsed in the last 12 hours or so since I saw it, this kind of got quite bearable. The children manged to wear down one's resistance, the humour although hovering on the borderline of cringe managed to stay for the majority of the film as digestable, the carachters were just believable enough and although I could fully understand anybody criticising this film as being sanctimoniously twee, on a personal level I enjoyed it, and given these provisos would recommend it to a friend. Hilarious take on newspapers. Good one!.

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What We Do In The Shadows Year: 2014 Mark: 6.9 Watched: Wed 21 Sep 16 Starring: Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi, Rhys Darby Director: Taika Waititi

One of those films I enjoyed but didn't learn a great deal from. Very idiosyncratic in terms of its NZ setting, that very humour being the strongest ingredient of the film, but it did get a little two dimensional. The characters were strong without the narrative or production qualities quite getting to Zombieland

Gotta respect a film made on $1.6 million, but wait... What do they spend it all on?.

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When Harry Met Sally... Year: 1989 Mark: 6.1 Watched: 14/02/2016, 5/1/2026 Starring: Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, Carrie Fisher, Bruno Kirby Director: Rob Reiner

For a film which isn't my cup of tea, in that it's emphasis is on the romantic rather than the comedy, I enjoyed this film, but... I am not a fan of FaceBook funnies and feelings, it annoys me how the most inane posts get loads of likes, yet well researched and well written critiques generate no support in the face of idiocy. In a way I guess this film panders to the feel good, 'look at me aren't I worldly? ' insularism that runs as a thread through most people's inoculation to reality. So it's no Compliance . It isn't, in fact, even a Working Girl in that it's a fairly short story that is padded out, and it is equally escapist but pretends to be reality. Now, all that's out of the way, it is reasonably funny, and the characters sufficiently interesting. The pinnacle of the film, for me, is Billy Crystal's acting performance. That is not to say I like Harry, it is to say that I imagine that the reaction involved watching his transition through the film is exactly what the makers were aiming at. The kind of thing Chevy Chase might aim at but not hit.

I could quite easily see this making a person's 500 films to see list, then again, Friends makes loads of people's best 10 TV programs...

I re watched it, and. of course, the only scene I remotely remembered was the diner “” scene. I was loading this list up thinking “Please don’t tell me I have reviewed this already and voila! Damn! Having said that I can see the truth in my first review above, so I’m leaving it. I was going to give it 5.3, but my 58 year old self gave it a 7, so we will split the difference. I couldn’t get to sleep!

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Whiplash Year: 2014 Mark: 9 Watched: Fri 23 Jan 15 Starring: Miles Teller, J. K. Simmons‡O Director: Damien Chazelle

Fucking great. Is it because I like music films or is it because it was a fantastic story which headed off in all sorts of directions, where the two carachters (and let's face it, they were both leads) completely, totally and utterly grab you by the balls and take you along on their journey? It's the latter. Very much of the mood of Birdman (It's mainly in New York, Mainly indoors or at night.

Yes I like music films, but this was a drumming film, which I think is different, at least for me. On writing this 12 hours later, despite having my bike stolen and having a racking cough, I have no qualms about awarding a it a 9.

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Year: 2016 Mark: 7.4 Watched: Tue 17 May 16 Starring: Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Christopher Abbott, Alfred Molina, Billy Bob Thornton Director: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa

I think this is actually better than my enjoyment quotient might indicate. I thought it was going to be an out and out comedy, but it provides a thought provoking, yet much lighter insight into Western intervention in the Middle East, a nice contrast to American Sniper, Zero Dark Thirty, Hurt Locker (go Bigelow), etc etc. It'll not top Team America though - Fuck yeah!".

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The Whole Nine Yards Year: 2000 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Sat 3 Jan 26 Starring: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Michael Clarke Duncan, Natasha Henstridge Director: Jonathan Lynn

It is wrong of me to criticise Matthew Perry, just because he was in Friendsat the peak of it’s tidal wave of popularity. He was OK but a lot of people could have done that job. Bruce Willis is terrific. This film is definitely not what I expected, an out and out ‘cosy crime comedy’ (Hey – I like that, even though there were no curates involved and picturesque thatched cottages overlooking English meadows – not entirely appropriate, but it’ll do at a pass). Who is the eminently watchable Amanda Peet? She married David Benioff in 2006 and has three kids – you know I’m really happy for her – did she play herself? Yeah I suppose the life could be worse than watching a film like this every night, it’s at that seven mark which means ‘worth it’.

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Wicked: For Good Year: 2025 Mark: 9.5 Watched: Mon 1 Dec 25 Starring: Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo, Jonathan Bailey, Ethan Slater, Bowen Yang, Marissa Bode, Michelle Yeoh, Jeff Goldblum Director: Jon M. Chu

Are the two Wicked films the best, if not only true epic film series since Lord Of The Rings? Was For Good the most tear wiping musical moment since Amazing Grace at the end of Wrath Of Khan? Why didn’t Doctor Dillamond say “goo o o od”? This is a masterpiece, in keeping with the show without mimicking it. The acting is really worth the ticket price, I’ve never said that, but each actor plays their parts and mood changes perfectly. The music, of course, is just brilliant, though Girl In a Bubble won’t win the Oscar. For Good would have done but it’s not original. Real cast, real orchestra, a most glowing example of why humans should cooperate, making me feel guilty about being such a loner. What score do I give it, I mean I cried several times? Technically perfect. Ella might change my mind up from nine and a half. Is Elphaba pregnant??

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Wild Year: 2014 Mark: 6.5 Watched: Fri 23 Jan 15 Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Laura Dern, Thomas Sadoski, Michiel Huisman, Gaby Hoffmann Director: Jean-Marc Vallée

Six and a half is good. Reese Witherspoon was adequate, as was Lara Dern, but as Oscar Nominees they did't make me punch the air in triumph when they had their moments. The thing is, it's not too much of a story:

SPOILER ALERT. Nice chick goes on a 1200 mile hike up the American Rockies, sees a snake in the desert, a coyote in the woods, wasn't well prepared but flutters her eyelashes for any amount of help. She feels threatened (multiple times) but never actually was harmed by any animals or humans. Like me when I go to Neil Aspland's house to talk to him, and they call the police. Mountains and Molehills. Why is the tone of this review far less positive than the other 6.5 I saw today, The Gambler ? Cos Mark Wahlberg is not gonna be nominated for any Oscars.

To get things straight, I still enjoyed it

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The Wind Rises Year: 2013 Mark: 8.3 Watched: Sun 3 Jul 16 Starring: Director: Hiyao Miyazaki

Absolutely beautiful picture, This may be my favourite studio Gibli production. You see, for me, I love biographies, and this is what this particular film is. I never thought I would have tears in my eyes about aeroplanes, but this somehow did the trick. I want a house painted with scenes by Hiyao Miyazaki, a genius. .

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Wings Year: 1927-28 Oscar Mark: Sort Watched: Sort Starring: Sort Director: William A. Wellman

Sort

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The Winslow Boy Year: 1948 Mark: 8.6 Watched: Tue 8 Nov 16 Starring: Robert Donat, Sir Cedric Hardwicke, Margaret Leighton, Basil Radford, Stanley Holloway, Dandy Nichols, Neil North, Director: Anthony Asquith

I say! These films, these British films, immediate post-war British films made on a rationing budget. It is an great story, awesomely performed, painting an idealised version of society that gives hope to the cynical and just maybe some insight. I love Robert Donat; at cursory guess, he would make my list of top 100 British things (read his bio, it is semi tragic). This is the kind of film which makes me think I'd be better off without an Unlimited ticket and just watching these absolute classics.

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Winters Tale Year: 2014 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Wed 5 Mar 14 Starring: Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, William Hurt, Jessica Brown Findlay Director: Akiva Goldsman

The nature of this film makes it curious to rate, in that it falls fairly and squarely into a super-natural world, and I would have expected either a ten or a four. It actually drops into the nearly great film bracket, in that with hindsight I am thinking that was just a little bit too optimistic, even for that crazy mixed up New York of guardian angels and Devil's henchmen and time dilation and malevolent Will Smith. But there is no getting away from the fact I was entranced for much of it, the pictures were beautiful, a la Hugo, the characters were most engaging. If in a fix, a flying white horse is a get-out, albeit a get-out which could be easily substituted for anything which is 'magic' That's where it differs from The Green Mile ; it loses on believability for quite significantly the same story. Whatever, I wiped a way a tear. What a fag! Sybil Crawley was beautiful. Colin Farrell was Mr Banks. Russell Crowe bought his Robin Hood accent along, and of all his parts, I think this is the one which most enjoys “ Fightin' 'round The World (shame he had to stick to New York!). Good watch.

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The Witch Year: 2015 Mark: 6.7 Watched: Wed 16 Mar 16 Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie Director: Robert Eggers

Nice, a 'horror' film which doesn't insult the intelligence too much. Some great acting, terrific dialogue, still all bullshit, but with a little bit of gravitas too it. This almost was a 'good film'; I could well understand it being described as such. Lisa Aryn's tits don't get as good roles as Lily James's.

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Withnail And I Year: 1987 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sun 22 Jun 14 Starring: Paul McGann, Richard E Grant, Richard Griffifths Director: Bruce Robinson

It really helps to watch a film with somone who is passionate about it. I know I started this film before but can not remember finishing it. Perhaps it was because I consumed the film and a bottle of wine simultaneously. Anyhoo, the humour is very much in the First Loves vein, quintessentially English and, given the autobiographical nature of this film, a little disturbing. I suspect a bit of the David Copperfield about it, but then again that is, I guess, what autobiographies do. Would I have preferred the 'director's cut' ending (I am not going to spoil it by telling you what it is)? Mmm... yes.

This film has attained huge cultural significance, with high positions in numerous lists. It launched the career of Richard E Grant, and I feel a little embarrassed to give it a lower mark than 22 Jump Street . I mark films for enjoyment, and I really enjoyed this film, but I think I may have been a little tired or had other things on my mind. I will visit Sleddale Hall.

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The Wolf Of Wall Street Year: 2013 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 20 Jan 14 Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jean duJardin, Matthew McConaghy, Jonah Hill Director: Martin Scorsese

High expectations did not go unfulfilled. Only 8 though, in that it was a ripping film I could not help but think what a bucnch of pricks this film was glorifying. It was based on a book written by the protagonist, Jordan Belfort. This man basically stole from people, lied, and then grassed his own mates up. Do we really believe he was going to tell the truth with the story? Leonardo Di Caprio should get a best actor Oscar for this (though I haven't seen Dallas Buyers Club yet), but the Fed should get a reward.

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Woman In Gold Year: 2015 Mark: 8 Watched: Wed 6 May 15 Starring: Helen Mirren, Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Brühl, Katie Holmes, Tatiana Maslany, Max Irons, Charles Dance, Elizabeth McGovern, Jonathan Pryce Director: Simon Curtis

Very solid bout of enjoyment, I think I am now officially mainlining movies. I look at the crop of films on this first week in May of 2015 and realise that each of them, that I have seen brings something to the table. Helen Mirren will get a nod for best actress, the film might not, but I sat for two hours and was sucked in to the David & Goliath story. I do feel uncomfortable that the tale may sanctify the protagonists a tad, nevertheless, taken with a pinch of salt it is a stand-alone adventure which gave me a wide-a-wake Wednesday. Good quiz shit in it as well, with the art, music, history and geography of the piece.

The picture is Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I by Gustav Klimt.

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Working Girl Year: 1988 Mark: 8.5 Watched: Sun 25 May 14 Starring: Melanie Griffifths, Sigourney Weaver, Harrison Ford, Alec, Baldwin, Joan Cussack, Oliver Platt, Kevin Spacey, Riicki Lake Director: Mike Nichols

Wow! My second favorite rom-com. Perhaps it's the August Rush effect, is just the gin talking or the chocolate and Bu?, I was just in a good mood and this film did nothing but enhance it. OK, it was a last hurrah for the 80's, with big hair and the idolisation of power within the New York financial system, and the World Trade Center and I'm So Excited and The Lady in Red, but in spite of all these glaring anachronisms, lame choices and questionable morality it was just a great story with fab carachters, and this one hammered home that mantra. I got sick of the Oscar Winning best original song after about six minutes, but finally gave way and appreciated the motif (polished off with a proper guitar solo during the end credits.

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World War Z Year: 2013 Mark: 6.9 Watched: Sat 19 Dec 15 Starring: Brad Pitt, David Morse, Peter Capaldi, Michiel Huisman Director: Marc Forster

On paper this should not have been a watcher, but hell, I left it on and was glad I did. The story was predictable, utterly, but what the hell, it'll do. The cast were reasonably engaging, especially the Zombies who were spectacularly loony and numerous and if it comes to washing up or this, the film takes precedence. I couldn't watch three a day.

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The World's End Year: 2013 Mark: 7 Watched: Tue 25 Feb 14 Starring: Simon Pegg, Rosamund Pike, Nick Frost, Paddy Consadine, Piers Brosnan, Bill Nighy, David Bradley Director: Edgar Wright

Like the characters in the film I had a few, resulting in a giggling empathy, and eventually a turn-off and save the rest for the morning, as it were. So I thoroughly enjoyed it but was left uncomfortably unsatisfied, you see, Gary was a dick, a loser, and it is not a dick or a loser that is going to save the world in any size, shape or form.

Can't wait to look up the references and what other films that girl was in. (Rosamund Pike, Die another Day, Made In Dagenham, Jack Reacher

I don't want to sound like a dick or a tosser, but Nick Frost is awesome in this

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Wreck-It Ralph Year: 2012 Mark: 8 Watched: Starring: John C Reilly Director: Rich Moore

Solid animated entertainment.

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The Wrestler Year: 2008 Golden Lion Mark: 7.6 Watched: Thu 1 Dec 16 Starring: Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood Director: Darren Aranovsky

Such a good film. Not what I would say the lushest feel good experience by a mighty long chalk, but if I could watch a film like this every night I would not want for entertainment and education. Mickey Rourke is one of those actors I do not readily recognise, yet his part in this will be indellibally etched in my feeble mind. A combination of no bullshit rock hard with this beautiful sympathy, made what, in retrospect, I realise is one of my favourite acting performances (see Raging Bull for another). I know its only rated mid 7s, but that is not to say it is a worse film than Bleed For This or Pitch Perfect, just that it provoked a righteous discomfort in me that was its deliberate intent. If I could watch a film like this every nightmaybe I would be a wiser person.

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Wyatt Earp Year: 1994 Mark: 7.9 Watched: Mon 24 Oct 16 Starring: Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, Gene Hackman, Isabella Rossellini, Mark Harmon, Michael Madsen, Joanna Going, Tom Sizemore, Bill Pullman, JoBeth Williams, Linden Ashby, Mare Winningham, Adam Baldwin, Téa Leoni Director: Lawrence Kasdan

I so enjoyed this film. Did i enjoy it more than Magnificent 7 (2)? Yes I did, the pictures were almost as good, the cast was almost as good, the story was better, and the history captivating. I really do not know how much of this film was hokum, but what it did was made me want to go and find out. Dennis Quaid plays a masterfull Doc Holliday, and Kevin Costner fitted, dare I say, perfectly? into the title role. The thing is this film got a lot of stick, with five Razzie nominations, and a win for Costner. I imagine that this, from now on, will be my go-to example of the failings of piss-take criticism/comedy, in that the Razzies just plain have got it wrong. For 3 hours of the three hours and ten minutes I was hooked into this film, albeit split into two nights, with the second half coming out really well. Jake agrees, and he knows his films.

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X-Men 09: Apocalypse Year: 2016 Mark: 7.2 Watched: Wed 18 May 16 Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn Director: Brian Singer

Like London Has Fallen with better special effects. I actually feel like marking it down a bit now, 'cos the story was just an X-Men with more powers and more powerful enemies, but I did enjoy it.

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X-Men 2 Year: 2003 Mark: 6 Watched: Thu 29 May 14 Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Shawn Ashmore, Aaron Stanford, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, James Marsden, Kelly Hu. Director: Brian Singer

I am going to have to watch these again and again to learn who does what and what they are called. I probably have given this a six more out of optimism and love of Julia and Dave rather than I actually understood it. I will get there eventually!.

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X-Men 4 Origins: Wolverine Year: 2009 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 4 Jan 14 Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Lynn Collins, Taylor Kitsch, will.i.am, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Daniel Henney, Ryan Reynolds. Director: Gavin Hood

Half decent movie, in fact I thoroughly enjoyed it. Was Hugh Jackman trying to emulate Clint Eastwood? Is Lynn Collins a doppelgänger for Jennifer Lawrence?
Listen if you want 'art' go to the Tate Modern. If you want to see some kicking ass after a gin and tonic, this'll fit the bill.

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X-Men 7: Days Of Future Past Year: 2014 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 16 Jun 14 Starring: Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Nicholas Hoult, Shawn Ashmore, Peter Dinklage, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart Director: Bryan Singer

Yep. This worked. Time displacement, I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more, it's an unbeatable premise! About the only error I can think of in this film is that Doc Browns speech from the end of 3 was not repeated Ad Vebatim. Tyrion Lannister LOL. Jennifer Lawrence – awesome. Hugh Jackman – ripped. James McAvoy was perfect to tell you the truth. Where was Stan Lee?.

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The Yards Year: 2000 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Sat 14 Mar 15 Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Charlize Theron, James Caan, Ellen Bustyn, Faye Dunaway Director: James Gray

What a film for the Connection game. I wonder if I like this film more because of the subsequent success of 75% of the lead four actors, or because it was genuinely good, with a taut story, dynamic characterisations, with the odd moment of over the topishness which made for a thoroughly interesting Saturday night. Look, I wouldn't say “rush out and get this film”, but what I would say is “set it to tape and catch it when you can”.

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You Can't Take It with You Year: 1938 Oscar Mark: Sort Watched: Sort Starring: Sort Director: Frank Capra

Sort

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Your Highness Year: 2011 Mark: 8 Watched: Mon 12 May 14 Starring: James Franco, Danny McBride, Charles Dance, Nathalie Portman, Toby Jones, Damien Lewis, Zooey Deschanel Director: David Gordon Green

I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy this, but it did the trick. Danny McBride made just a fine job of writing himself in this one, playing Kenny Powers in medival tunics, and basically allowing the absurdity of the dialogue and James Franco's niceniceness to win crush one into submissionr, providing a superb contrast between realistic cynicism and absolute fairy tale naivity. Tywin Lannister plays Charles Dance to perfection. If you like this you might enjoy . This is the first time I have lifted somebody else's review. Roger Ebert gave the film one star out of four, calling it "juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs and four-letter words." - Fuck yeah!.

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Zero Dark Thirty Year: 2012 Mark: 8 Watched: Sat 11 Jul 15 Starring: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Joel Edgerton Director: Kathryn Bigelow

Another of those films which would rate even higher were I judging on merit as opposed to enjoyment. Challenging, unapologetic, exciting, a whole slew of superb performances, not least the sound guy (who won the Oscar), intellectual, informative, the superlatives go on. This IS a better film than Bigelow’s Oscar winner The Hurt Locker . .

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Zoolander Year: 2001 Mark: 9.1 Watched: Sun 18 Oct 15 Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, David Duchovny, Jon Voight, Vince Vaughn, Alexander Skarsgård Director: Ben Stiller

What is their not to thoroughly enjoy about this ridiculous take on ridiculous human behaviour. I am sceptical that a lot of people in the fashion/advertising industries will giggle with delight and say they know somebody so like that, when, if you ask me, it's everybody. The last time human sycophancy to fashion was illustrated so starkly was in The King's New Clothes .

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Zoolander 2 Year: 2016 Mark: 7.8 Watched: Thu 3 Mar 16 Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penélope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Sting, Christine Taylor, Cyrus Arnold, Kyle Mooney, Beck Bennett, Nathan Lee Graham, Justin Theroux, Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, Katy Perry, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Tommy Hilfiger, Benedict Cumberbatch, Naomi Campbell, Lewis Hamilton, Justin Bieber, Jourdan Dunn, Ariana Grande, Susan Sarandon, John Malkovich, Kiefer Sutherland, Mika, Billy Zane, Joe Jonas, Skrillex, Susan Boyle, ASAP Rocky, MC Hammer, Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, Olivia Munn, Karlie Kloss Director: Ben Stiller

Thoroughly sit back and just relax, watch the film, enjoy the comedy, add up the cameos, get a Subway. Really if I told you the full story I don't think I'd be giving much away, great value with an Unlimited Card. What a lame summary, but you know what too expect.

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Zootopia aka Zootropolis Year: 2016 Mark: 8.1 Watched: Wed 23 Mar 16 Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, J.K. Simmons, Tommy Chong, Octavia Spencer, Jenny Slate, Shakira Director: Byron Howard, Rich Moore

Thoroughly delightful film, delivering a reasonably straightforward plot with engaging characters and absolutely breathtaking pictures. Really, I keep saying it about modern animation but this, it is so damn BIG and ARTISTIC, like all the best bits about Tomorrowland and Big Hero Six, without trying to be too clever. And the best line ever, from Idris Elba as the big 'ard chief of police, dressing down Jody and her ambitions to be a cop.

Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and all your insipid dreams magically come true. So let it go.

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Zootopia 2 Year: 2025 Mark: 7.5 Watched: Mon 1 Dec 25 Starring: Byron Howard. Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Shakira, Idris Elba, Alan Tudyk, Andy Samberg, Danny Trejo Director: Jared Bush

Not much to write about. The first one was terrific, this one is good, recycling some of the funnies from #1. A cacophony of sight and sound, which left me thinking can’t we leave some things to the imagination? I bought an Odeon Unlimited today and it is loads better than Cineworld

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