The Leeds University Challenge Team 2002 - By Steve Kidd
The Formation of the team.
We were lucky enough (luck?) to have the best five scores in a one-off trial organised by the Students' Union. Fortune further favoured us in that we seem to have the most peculiarly diverse, often idiosyncratic spheres of interest. To cap it all, it seems that we all have a groovy time together, having spent several days and nights enjoying the unbridled pleasure of each other's company. Anybody listening in on our conversations would think us completely doolally, as they almost invariably are conducted in a question and answer format, interspersed with (poor) impressions of regional stereotypes or various TV Characters.
The TV Trial
About 250 teams enter University Challenge, but only 24 get on TV, so they are all invited to the Granada Studios in Manchester, where, in groups of three teams, they sit down and listen to 50 (I think) questions. This trial is done under exam conditions, and Jeez, the questions seem hard. This test is to find the 40 teams with the best eclectic score, and the finalists are chosen after interviews from this group. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have bet odds on money on any of my answers being right (Apart from the name of the intersection between a line and a column on a spreadsheet)(Which was easy - It's a 'field'). (But no one else got it). (Yippee!).
The Wait
So you sit and talk to the other members, and the other teams, and the staff, and you begin to think, 'Well we just might have made it', and 'we felt good in the interviews' and 'what the hell, we love each other anyway' etc etc. But you have to wait several days before your team captain doesn't 'phone you up, so you ring Heidi at Granada who says 'YOUR IN'.
In retrospect at this point my heart goes out to the many who didn't make it. If you haven't been out together as a team, If you haven't got a full team, or if your team has been selected through a subjective process it probably has given you some improvement to aim for. I am sure that a lot of great people don't get through.
The entire waiting period spanned my exams, which is somewhat distracting. I asked the members what amount of exam success they would trade for University Challenge success. Think about it yourself - Would you swop a first to get into the semi-finals? Personally I love 'em both, it's like asking would you trade your dog for your cat. I'd take the dog. And I'd rather win University Challenge than get a first. But I'd love a first.
The Big Day
We stopped at Jenny's the night before, and by dinner time we were on our way to Manchester. I can honestly not remember leaving her house. Parking, Hotel,- I even managed to have a sleep at three o'clock for ten minutes. The suppressed intensity of emotion is something to experience. It is a long wait but the deadline to be at the studios is 4 o'clock. I saw another team over the road and having sized them up thought 'We can beat them'. Then Gareth points out they are from Cambridge. Sh*t. Do you play it cool and aloof - The Ice Man approach, talk to no one except with disdain and confidence? Nah! You introduce yourself and fool around a bit. Take photo's of the other teams and enjoy it.
5:00 ish: You have been given a dressing room, which you hardly use,
and have been to make up, and sang to Jenny 'When You smile for the
Camera, you know I love you better' and established where Steely Dan
samples have been used, you already know what group is named after one
of their tracks, and they are named after a dildo. The molecular bonds
of the team are perceived to be strained yet ever more compelling.
6:00 ish: You trip over a languid Jeremy Clarks...D'oh d'oh d'oh I mean Paxman I mean Mr Paxman who is leaning against a Canteen Shelf. You know he's a mortal who gets totally pissed off with sycophantic behaviour, but you have to talk, 'cos you would do to it to anybody else, so why treat him differently. He is just like on telly. He is sardonic, funny and dismissive of foolishness. You feel foolish. Thank goodness you have your team. How can they possibly eat at a time like this?
7:00 ish: You wait in the Green Room while you watch another two
teams on the internal monitors. Hell, Adam is on fire, but it doesn't
help that there is a half hour delay while they fix a background
projector. You keep telling yourself you are there because you
qualified, therefore you deserve it and all things being equal you
should get 100 points. The losers are getting 160! UMIST get knocked
out and they were a team you feared. You see an Oxford guy on the
monitor reeling off politics, history and classics you haven't a clue
about - Resignation. He is so posh, but you like him, What does his dad
do? Where did he go to school? What will he be in 25 years? By this
time you have realised that you are not living on the same planet as
these guys. Even your own team's knowledge will not camouflage the
superficiality of your trivial and very incomplete collection. Good
enough for the odd pub quiz, but, come on; this is the creme of British
academia. He blows a simple maths question!!! From the open box, from
which emanated all the troubles and despair of the world, hope
belatedly throws a filigree wing over the edge and flutters weakly,
almost within reach, out and up. 
8:00 ish: Is this what it feels like leaving death row for the final time? Take a good look at my face. You see my smile looks out of place. Past the props and boxes and backstage at the studio. And this is it. A Black Curtain separates you from the main studio, and your opponents (In our case, Liverpool, John Moores) are introduced. They do have a lot of supporters and they are noisy. All you have ever wanted to do is just get this thing going. Finally, finally you are introduced, and find your places. I don't know how much time we spent get the shots and microphones right, along with Rupert, our mascot, but you get an opportunity to press your buzzer, which is the diameter of an egg cup and the thickness of a pencil sharpener. Very tactile. Roger who does the voice-overs for the game as well as 'The Weakest Link' warms up with a couple of questions, and Paxman poses for a photo with the team. We win the warm up 25 -5. This is it.
9:00 ish: The Game
If you've read this far you probably know the rules. Paxman announces our first starter for ten.
In retrospect I perceive the actual game to be the eye of the Hurricane. You see, all we like to do is answer questions, and when we are together, one of us has to ask them, which is a bit like going in goals. The game was not quite Nirvana, but hell, it's a damn good pub quiz. When people clap it's a bonus, but a superficial one. The two million viewers can not even tickle the comprehension. Since the moment I saw the posters up in the Union 15 months ago, to be told I was too late to enter, this has been my ambition.
Many years ago I played Rugby Union for Pontefract, in the Yorkshire Shield Final against North Ribblesdale. Small potatoes in a galactic context, but we got beat 6 -0 by two long range penalty kicks, in a match where the Yorkshire Post Rugby Correspondent wrote "North Ribblesdale defied the laws of Rugby, and won without the ball". Early on in the match ('when it wasn't important') Marcus Langley broke through, and I supported him on his outside. Marcus passed to me, but Tilly, our winger, shouted 'leave it', I did, we didn't score, and I have that ghost to bury. I am not going to leave it again when I have an opportunity to take it myself.
Paxman had told us the first starter was dead easy. I can't even remember what it was, but I do know I wasn't sure if we were Buzzers or Bells. To this day, despite the contrary evidence on TV, I thought it was a buzzer, then
Roger announced "Liverpool...
I love my Kids