Nah, not for me. Sorry!

P.S. What do I know?:- Rotten Tomatoes 87% Metacritic, 81 out of 100, Best film of 2005 in the Village Voice Film Poll and for Mark Kermode. Empire named the film the 448th greatest film of all-time!

WTF?

The Hurt Locker
2008 Mark: 4

Starring: Jeremy Renner with Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Christian Camargo, Evangeline Lilly, Ralph Fiennes, David Morse, Guy Pearce
Director: Katherine Bigelow

I am writing this quite a long time after I've seen the film, and I think I may watch it again as I am beginning to imagine it may have been worth a tad more than I remember

Johnny Mnemonic
1995 Mark: 4
Watched: Fri 9 January 2015

Starring: Keanu Reeves with Dolph Lundgren, Ice-T
Director: Robert Longo

Always seems a little unfair to rate a film without watching it all the way through, but both the film and Reeve's acting were too dated, too clunky, to risk the full two hours, so off it went in favour of richer pickings. Tell me if I have got this one wrong, come round for a beer and talk me through it. NB "Reeves's performance in the film earned him a Golden Raspberry Award nomination for Worst Actor"

Mad Max: Fury Road
2015 Mark: 4
Watched: Wed 3 June 2015

Starring: Tom Hardy with Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Zoë Kravitz
Director: George Miller

I am confident that many people will enjoy this more than I did. Why have I given this a four, compared to San Andreas and its seven?

Fundamentally it is well filmed, and well acted, but you could really divide the film up into 6 minute segments, shuffle them and it would not be that different. It is 2 hours of vehicles in a petrol poor society going off at random tangents and getting smashed up whilst the protagonists look 'ard say very little and think even less. Save your money and instead of going to watch this film, watch the cam on Town End Junction, Pontefract for more or less the same narrative but without the mental guitarist and his whammy bar flame -thrower.

Magic Mike
2012 Mark: 4
Watched: Wed 28 October 2015

Starring: Channing Tatum with Alex Pettyfer, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Matthew McConaughey
Director: Steven Soderbergh

If someone can tell me how this ended I guess you might surprise me, but I doubt it. McConaghey is terrific, i never quite know what too make of Channing Tatum, and the rest of the characters kind of got on my nerves. 90 minutes I won't get back, ten minutes would have been sufficient. Too many stage routines, not enough story, very few persons of interest.

The Other Woman
2014 Mark: 4
Watched: Mon 5 May 2014

Starring: Cameron Diaz with Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Kinney, Don Johnson

I feel so guilty giving this just a four, but that's all it was, a pleasant enough evening at the cinema, if I'd have had a watch I would have been looking at it. Spoiler Alert. Jamie Lanister gets the shits, his hair comes out ( a bit) he grows tits ( a bit) and he walks into a glass door (twice). There is a lot of falling over and girly hugs. Just not my type of fil I guess.

Out Of Africa
1984 Mark: 4

Starring: Meryl Streep
Director: Sydney Pollack

Eewww! You always feel so guilty not spunking over an Oscar winner, but I'd so much rather watch Daktari, which at least doesn't pretend to be so self-righteous

Poltergeist (2015)
2015 Mark: 4
Watched: Fri 29 May 2015

Starring: Sam Rockwell with Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Jane Adams
Director: Gil Kenan

Not that I am anti-horror movie, it's just that it needs something more than this film gave to satisfy me, at least. The first part of the film was reasonably engaging, with some genuine “boo” moments, but sometime approaching the door which said “Paranormal department” It became a bit of an eye roller. If Sam Rockwell had been meant to play a regular dad he wouldn't have been Sam Rockwell, and one could not help thinking if his Seven Psycopaths or Billy the Kid going to burst out. I was contemplating leaving the film, and writing this, I'm glad I didn't, as in the end scene I think I have witnessed the most curiously naff wrap of all time, in terms of the family's temper whilst driving away, like a closing credits from Police Squad

Robocop
2014 Mark: 4
Watched: Mon 3 March 2014

Starring: Joel Kinnaman with Gary Oldman, Samuel L Jackson, Michael Keaton
Director: José Padilha

Two hours I won't get back. I'm afraid that playing I Fought The Law by the Clash and Samuel L Jackson being bleeped out of his “Motherfucker” could not redeem it. Some films make the science work for them ( Power Rangers ); in this it is a constant glossing over of what would happen. Transformers had constant humour, this was... I don't know what it was, kind of as ploddy as his stupid boots, I mean, for crying out loud, why didn't they give him some rubber soles? I'm not saying it was a total disaster, just that it feels like, seen that, done that, intrigue me, make me gasp, make me identify with the compelling protagonist. I can see the Robocop meets Short Circuit sequel being a cure for insomnia

Nice to see Michael Williams (Omar Little) getting a good part in a film whilst Marianne Jean-Baptiste plays the same role as CCH Pounder does in The Shield. (I thought they were the same person, except the latter is 15 years older)

Edward Scissorhands
1990 Mark: 4.5
Watched: Wed 6 August 2014

Starring: Johnny Depp with Winona Ryder, Dianne Weist, Vincent Price, Alan Arkin
Director: Tim Burton

Mmm. I should have liked this more, but I was teetering on finishing it without the end and eventually skipped through a couple of scenes. Why was I not so enamoured with it? If I want colour I'll watch a Wes Anderson film, the story was a little too simple and didn't work within its own Universe (You can't just go and carve topiary from a hedge, it has to be cultivated into shape), the disbelief was never suspended for a moment, it was unsatisfying the characters were one dimensional and I must admit to just hating the way girls like 'Interesting' boys who are really not that interesting and are practically retarded with their conversation skills and pasty face all because it's 'cool'. Whatever.

The Happening
2008 Mark: 4.5
Watched: Sat 27 December 2014

Starring: Mark Whalberg with Zooey Deschanel
Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Maintained the interest for 75% of the film, but it went nowhere, had the most glaring plot holes (like a train full of people are diverted then dumped in nowhere Pennsylvania and they all drive off in cars) and some of the acting was frankly terrible. No science, no twists, it was less than a five, just..

Irrational_Man
2015 Mark: 4.5 Watched Fri 11 September 2015

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix with Emma Stone
Director: Woody Allen

This could have been even more disappointing if I had know it was Woody Allen who wrote and directed it. It was, pretentious, unbelievable at the basest of levels, and quite frankly annoying to the extent that it slid from a 6 to a 4.5 by the time I left. The dialogue was something like this... " Blah blah blah the women you have shared experiences with" " The women I have slept with" At that moment I started thinking about leaving, the thing is I know little about Kierkegaard and Sartre and Heidegger, but I do know that being blunt in the face of a euphemism by replacing it with another one is just lame.

Can I describe the lamest dinner part ever? Your daughter cheats on her decent boyfriend, repeatedly lying to him, and ends up with the new lecturer who is twice her age and an alcoholic, so a week later you invite him to dinner and treat him like an old friend. That's not all. You then start talking about the death of a judge, then consider the hypothesis that it was a murder, Then more or less boil it down to how it was done. Oh COME ON!!!

Macbeth
2015 Mark: 4.5 Watched Thu 15 October 2015

Starring: Michael Fassbender with Marion Cotillard, Paddy Considine, Sean Harris, Jack Reynor, Elizabeth Debicki, David Thewlis
Director: Justin Kurzel

There is not, in my memory, a single minute of five seasons of Game of Thrones, which is less exciting than any moment from this film. There is not, in my memory, a single word or picture in the book Where's Spot?, which is less exciting than any dialogue or frame from this film.

I am open to persuasion, but COME ON, I left with half an hour to go. Let me quote from a review on IMDB.

visually impressive, intelligently adapted, atmospheric version of a very famous play. Michael Fassbender is stunning in the title role. What an actor he is! Brutal and sensitive, cruel and caressing, he handles the verse effortlessly, the fights viciously, and he radiates a huge wattage of charisma.

The thing is, I agree, but if you want visually impressive just go to Scotland, if you want intelligence read Richard Dawkins, If you want atmosphere turn a smoke machine on. etc etc etc. Personally I like a story, and this one was hard to follow. Please, tell me why I am wrong, but I bet yer bottom dollar when it comes to the critics the King will have a splendid new coat on."

Need For Speed
2014 Mark: 4.5
Watched: Wed 2 April 2014

Starring: Aaron Paul with Imogen Poots, Aaron Paul

Ah, go on then. The trailers were awful, the morality despicable, nevertheless. It was a big film, with stereotypical yet enjoyable characters and it was a reasonable watch at the pictures

The Seventh Sign
2010 Mark: 4.5
Watched: Thu 15 May 2014

Starring: Demi Moore

Digi Boxes are terrific things, just rippinig thgrough a couple of channels for the next two weeks yield loads of films which record at the press of a button. It does bring into question the validity of keeping the Unlimited Casrd, as this film, for instance, distacted me from going to watch Godzilla on its opening day, yesterday. As I ate my salad I began to regret not going to the flicks, and it might have been laziness but I didn't just turn it off. There is no getting away from the fact that, IMHO, Demi Moore is as beautiful looking a person as has ever been filmed, but this movie just didn't do it despite the eye candy. It wasn't by any stretch a complete disaster, just I like hokum to be funny, not serious like this. Anyhoo, with 20 minutes to go the digibox had stopped recording so the decision was taken away from me. I'll watch Godzilla today!

The Visit
2015 Mark: 4.5 Watched Wed 9 September 2015

Starring: Ed Oxenbould with Kathryn Hahn
Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Another two hours waiting for someone to say "Boo!" In it's favour the lad was terrific, and there were some jumps during it but please COME ON!! nobody in any universe would be as stupid as these peoples because their stupid ancestors would have stupided themselves out of the gene pool eons ago. M. Night Shyamalan gets worse, I mean, Sixth Sense = Awesome, Signs = mmm, The Happening = "Amy Adams dodged a bullet", and now this. Didn't watch the last 10 minutes, it's two hours I'll never get back, so let's be positive an imagine that as 600 seconds profit?

The Bone Collector
Mark: 4.9
Watched: Mon 28 September 2015

Starring: Denzill Washinton with Angelina Jolie, Queen Latifah, Luis Guzmán, Bobby Cannavale, Ed O'Neill
Director: Phillip Noyce

At the pictures I may have stayed to the end. On a DVD I just thought I had better things to do than watch Angelina say " I can't do it " and Denzill Washington saying " Yes you can ".

The thing is, like loads of thriller/horror movies it goes tits up in that the protagonists do incredibly stupid things which given they are, in Angelina's case.... oh it's just that whole kid calls in a dead body on a train track so they send a single female alone to investigate it, who compounds the bad practice by not calling it in the moment she confirms it is for real. I went and did something else after about three quarters of an hour, can somone tell me how it ends?

All About Eve
1949 Mark: 5
Watched: Wed 1 January 2014

Starring: Bette Davis with Anne Baxter, George Sanders, Celeste Holm, Hugh Marlowe, Barbara Bates, Gary Merrill, Thelma Ritter, Marilyn Monroe
Director: Joseph L. Mankiewicz

Never did like Bette Davis, this film takes a long time to tell a short story

Bedazzled (2000)
2000 Mark: 5
Watched: Tue 9 September 2014

Starring: Brendan Fraizer with Liz Hurley, Paul Adelstein
Director: Harold Ramis

Just a watch, a bit dicky at times, nevertheless entertaining if not a tad repetitive. It's very rare that I give a film a straight five, nevertheless I suppose it was worth a watch

Book Of Eli
2010 Mark: 5

Starring: Denzill Washinton with Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Beals
Director: Albert and Allen Hughes

I'm not sure that this one suspended my disbelief enough. I'm not sure that I like the message. I'm not sure that Denzil hasn't been a lot better served in many other films.

Compliance
2012 Mark: 5
Watched: Wed 14 May 2014

Starring: with
Director: Craig Zobel

I didn't watch this. Not that it's a bad film; it was too uncomfortable, and wherever it went I did not want to go there. Read the summary on wikipedia, and then watch something more enjoyable. If you think you would not be capable of great injustice, you are, I would hazard, precisely the kind of person who is.

Double Jeopardy
1999 Mark: 5
Watched: Mon 16 March 2015

Starring: Ashley Judd with Tommy Lee Jones, Bruce Greenwood
Director: Bruce Beresford

If it wasn't for Tommy Lee Jones taking the pay-check on this it would have been disappointing Hell... it was still disappointing. Like Taken 3 we have a story carried along on the premise that the massed law enforcement agencies of The United States of America first ignore a protagonist who seems to think, “well that's OK then, I won't just present stone cold evidence to bail me out”, and then ignore the trail of expense created within the tale. It is so frustrating to think that this would happen in this film's own world, let alone the one we actually live in.

Dracula Untold
2014 Mark: 5
Watched: Mon 6 October 2014

Starring: Luke Evans with Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Samantha Barks, Art Parkinson, Charles Dance, Charlie Cox
Director: Gary Shore

Rise Of The Spartans did the same thing but better. Interesting cast in that it was like watching Game Of Thrones with Rickon Stark, that twat from the Nights Watch (Damned if I can find his name) and Tywin (NB Ramin Djawadi did the theme as well!).

The French Connection
1970 Mark: 5

Starring: Gene Hackman
Director: William Friedkin

I feel I should like this more, but don't

The Great Gatsby
2013 Mark: 5
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Elizabeth Debicki
Director: Baz Luhrman

Half an hour to long, too much Jay Z, never got the book, get the film too easy. It's a picture though.

The Hudsucker Proxy
1994 Mark: 5
Watched: Mon 3 July 1905

Starring: Tim Robbins
Director: Coen Brothers Bit of a let down after all the other great films by Joel and Ethan Coen

Inside Llewelyn Davis
2013 Mark: 5
Watched: Thu 30 January 2014

Starring: Oscar Isaac with John Goodman
Director: Coen Brothers

I hate just giving this 5, but it was pretty ploddy, not particularly funny, and if I want music I'll buy the album. Perhaps when I read some explanations I'll sway, but it was just a nice way to pass two hours at the pictures, without being a see again. I wonder if Crazy Heart was the same, 'cos when I saw on Telly it wasn't worth sticking with, and you kept waiting for something to happen but it never did.

Jurassic Park 3
2001 Mark: 5
Watched: Tue 26 August 2014

Starring: Sam Neil with Laura Dearn, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni
Director: Joe Johnston

Passable sequal, lacks the originality, story, surprise, and soul of the first one. If I had been watching it by myself I probabbly wouldn't, but it is funny being alongside somebody. Sam Neil is so cheesy it infected the rest of the cast

Kindergarten Cop
1990 Mark: 5
Watched: Sat 12 January 2013

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger

All this time Arnie was setting himself up for politics

The Legend Of Hercules
2014 Mark: 5
Watched: Wed 2 April 2014

Starring: Kellan Lutz with
Director: Renny Harlin

I'm dead happy in a way, because I didn't write down a review for this film until now, and I was going to write that if you have an Unlimited film ticket that you might as well go and see this. I see I have rated it as a 5, which at least means I am being consistent! I reckon if this was the first Quasi ancient literature action movie you ever watched you would be quite impressed!. The relationship between this story and the Hercules I was familiar with is tenous. It makes Disney's version look like an ad verbatim copy of the Labours

Mad Max
1979 Mark: 5
Watched: Tue 15 January 2013

Starring: Mel Gibson Sorrreee. I guess I don't like films which glorify the petrol engine. Apart from that there is little that is challenging about this movie apart from sitting through it to see if the pitch or pace changes. This is written at lerast a year aftyer I have seen the film, but I just remember watching this and the others with Jake and just packing it in half way through Thunderdome

Noah
2014 Mark: 5
Watched: Sat 17 May 2014

Starring: Russell Crowe with Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins
Director: Darren Aranovsky

Phffff... Well it was fairly spectacular, but perhaps half an hour too long, went a little flat for that 30 minutes, didn't give one much background into the bible story, and left losts of shit unresolved. Did I see a flock of birds at the end of the film (ie more than two)?

Point Break
1991 Mark: 5
Watched: Mon 25 August 2014

Starring: Keanu Reeves with Patrick Swayze
Director: Katherine Bigelow

The crew should have been used to make a documentary, as there are some great shots of surfing and skydiving but not much more. The plot has too many holes in it to make it believable and the hipness smacks of Poochie when introduced to the Itchy and Scratchy show, with everybody calling each other 'dude' and the hero actually being a complete cunt.

The Thirty Nine Steps
1978 Mark: 5
Watched: Sat 31 January 2015

Starring: Robert Powell with David Warner, Karen Dotrice, John Mills, Miles Anderson, Timothy West, Edward Woodward
Director: Don Sharp

This is like The French Connection meets Withnail And I and it can't seem to make it's mind up. Were people just more gullible back in the day? I love the theatricle approach of some old films, just look at the Ealing Comedies, but this just seems a little bit lame. Did that aeropane have an everlasting fuel tank and a transponder on Richard Hannay? It's always enjoyable being reminded how stupid good old fashioned bobbies were.

WALL-E
2008 Mark: 5
Tue 22 September 2015
Director: Andrew Stanton

What what what? Only a five for such an accoladed film? I gave Inside Out a ten!

Don't ask me why, I loved Chappie and hated Short Circuit. I liked Tears For Fears and OMD, but couldn't stand Depeche Mode.

Is it because I feel there is something lacking in honesty about this film (from the studio which bought you Cars ) along with paucity of story, dialogue and carachters? Some people loved 2001. It was a dull dirge, COME ON.

Sorry, if your a fan, it's just not my tempo"

From Here To Eternity
1953 Mark: 5.2
Watched: Sun 8 November 2015

Starring: Montgomery Clift with Burt Lancaster, Frank Sinatra, Deborah Kerr, Donna Reed, Ernest Borgnine, Philip Ober, Jack Warden, Mickey Shaughnessy, Claude Akins, George Reeves.
Director: Fred Zinnemann

I was left pondering, was this film absolutely stymied by the moral climate that pervaded America at the time? Like The Best Years Of Our Lives some eight years earlier it seemed somehow ridiculous how people slept in separate bedrooms (when they were married), went to brothels but never got anywhere remotely close to 1st Base, talking and perhaps doing the foxtrot being the boundaries, spent most of their free time in a life threatening state of drunkedness, strictly no niggaz, and generaly ended up squaring up for fights with deadly weapons and then standing off and carrying on as if nothing had happened. Montgomery Clift was terrific, but everybody else kind of sucked (even though I generally like Burt Lancaster). The United States in the 50s must have been a seriously fucked up place to live. Saw it out for the sake of the Oscar, but c'mon, Donna Reed was well past her sell by date and Frank Sinatra was certainly nothing unusual.

Burnt
2015 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Thu 12 November 2015

Starring: Bradley Cooper with Sienna Miller, Omar Sy, Daniel Brühl, Matthew Rhys, Alicia Vikander, Uma Thurman and Emma Thompson
Director: John Wells

This is the first film I have left early which I have rated more than 5. The thing is, it was nice looking, super cast, but it really isn't my cup of tea, like Southpaw for cooks, it just didn't look like it was ever going to be anything more than a comeback story with lots of pictures of pieces of lettuce which Bradley Cooper had jizzed on. What nailed the walk out (apart from the Top House Quiz) was a meeting in a Burger King (after said shop had featured very obviously in a previous scene) and Cooper delivering a monologue about how the food there was somehow like French traditional food. It was an insult to the viewers intelligence. If you want Bradley Cooper watch Silver Linings Playbook. If you want foodie, I found Chef far more entertaining. And sports stories are just so much more... manly?

Collateral Damage
2002 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Thu 8 January 2015

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger with Elias Koteas, Francesca Neri, Cliff Curtis, John Leguizamo, John Turturro
Director: Andrew Davis

Our Jake talked me out of a six for this, It was one of those watch it and enjoy the food and a large scotch, laugh at the clichés, enjoy the degree of whodunnit in the first portion of the film and god bless the United States Of America!

The Equaliser
2014 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Wed 1 October 2014

Starring: Denzel Washington with Chloë Grace Moretz, Melissa Leo
Director: Antoine Fuqua

Pretty predictable fodder in which the gnarly old stager (Washington) is persuaded by moral compunction to break out of retirement to take on the bad guys with increasing levels of jeopardy and violence.

Plenty of vigilante justice from the tortured anti hero on Metropolitan East coast where the bad guys are pretty unambigously bad and vice versa for the good ones

It was not worth paying £4 extra for IMAX

Exodus: Gods And Kings
2014 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Sun 28 December 2014

Starring: Christian Bale with Joel Edgerton, John Turturro, Aaron Paul, Ben Mendelsohn, Sigourney Weaver, Ben Kingsley
Director: Ridley Scott

Ridley Scott is not a visionary. He has a lot of money, he has big ideas, but given this has a production budget of $150 million it seems a liitle extravagent for not much story. It eventually just becomes chapter after chapter of epic scenes held together by a loose thread which (Spoiler Alert) is basically; people are enslaved under a good king and everything is peachy, slaves are enslaved by a bad king and fuck off with the help of some super dooper magic bestowed by a real god (as opposed to all those silly Egyptian gods) Oh fuck it's piss-potical and I fell asleep half way through the third plague (were there really ten of them). What were the swords in aid for? What was Sigouney Weaver there for apart from a cheque and her name on the credits? Why didn't Moses just beat his wife up? Without Christian Bale (who is a pleasure to watch) and Aaron Paul (who was on meth) this would not have hauled itself above 5. As it was I'm glad I went to see it as it was a nice afternoon out with Julia, we had a Sub, had a laugh and witnessed how God's wrath truly manifests itself (Junction 32 on a Sunday afternoon in the school holidays)

Grace Kelly
1983 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Cheryl Ladd with Ian McShane, Lloyd Bridges, Christina Applegate
Director: Anthony Page

Made for TV semi hagiography. Good background, I just wish Ian McShane had been lying in the mud when Grace Kelly came to town and looked up at her through his beaten eyes and growled "Welcome to fuckin' Monaco"

Jupiter Ascending
2015 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Mon 9 February 2015

Starring: Mila Kunis with "Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Tuppence Middleton, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Terry Gilliam"
Directors: Lana Wachowski, Andy Wachowski

I don't like religion. It seems obvious to me that it is absolute cockameeme bullshit, and that in any species that develops the level of intelligence that we have it is an advantage to one's genes (to believe in a unseen deity). I'm glad this film came along, as although not conclusive proof of my neutrality, I could not help but compare this to Exodus, Gods and Kings and Noah, and thinking they are much of a muchness, full of bangs crashes and hoards, but thin on narrative and an engaging population. That is, I didn't diss the biblical epics because of the God factor, they were just, plain, not brilliant. As was this. Channing Tatum will not win an Oscar for this.

The Last Temptation Of Christ
1988 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Sun 4 May 2014

Starring: Willem Dafoe with
Director: Martin Scorsese

This had a feel of Ben Hur about it. I watched 30 minutes and was moderately entertained, but it is one of those "Hey look, we are questioning the bible, therefore we are open minded think outside the boxes types, and this Jesus thing might be real", but that's the whole problem. It is no more an academic exercise than The Legend of Hercules

The Maze Runner
2014 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Wed 15 October 2014

Starring: Dylan O'Brien with Kaya Scodelario, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Ki Hong Lee, Will Poulter
Director: Wes Ball

I reckon there are films that you know what you are going to write about before you have even seen them, and this falls plumb into that department. Teens, experiment, distopia, I can't even be bothered going on. IT DOESN'T WORK WITHIN ITS OWN UNIVERSE!. There were so many peculiarities about this film that I can't list them all, but, eg. 4 gaps open up in the walls around the quarry (which varies between 4 and 1000 acres). WHY OH WHY OH WHY???. The more I think about it the more I want to downgrade it. I will. A bare pass. Jojen Reed!! LOL

A Walk Among The Tombstones
2014 Mark: 5.5
Watched: Mon 29 September 2014

Starring: Liam Neeson with Dan Stevens
Director: Scott Frank

Pretty predictable fodder in which the gnarly old stager (Neeson) is persuaded by moral compunction to break out of retirement to take on the bad guys with increasing levels of jeopardy and violence.

Plenty of vigilante justice from the tortured anti hero on Metropolitan East coast where the bad guys are pretty unambiguously bad and vice versa for the good ones

America's Sweethearts
2001 Mark: 6
Watched: Sat 24 May 2014

Starring: Catherine Zeta Jones with Julia Roberts, Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Hank Azaria, Stanley Tucci, Seth Green, Alan Arkin, Christopher Walken
Director: Joe Roth

Err... Well it is in my top 1000 rom-coms I think. Look, I was entertained by it and Fall Out Boy named a song after it

Bad Lieutenant
2009 Mark: 6
Watched: Sun 2 March 2014

Starring: Nick Cage with Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer, Brad Dourif
Director: Werner Herzog

I really feel I should have given this more, but I didn't 'get it' Nic Cage is a complete lunatic, and despite some absolutely cracking films ( Matchstick Men, Lord Of War ), just loses his shit too much on occasions. Why would a hot chick like Eva Mendes even fancy him?

Battle Of The River Plate
1956 Mark: 6
Watched: Mon 22 December 2014

Starring: John Gregson with Anthony Quayle, Peter Finch, Patrick Macnee, Roger Delgado, John Le Mesurier
Directors: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger

I usually enjoy factual films, but this seemed just a little bit too much like a 6th form production at a school where the chaps had never met girls before. They should have got C.S. Forrester to write the screenplay

The Big Lebowski
1998 Mark: 6
Watched: Sat 18 January 2014

Starring: Jeff Bridges with John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro, Philip Seymour Hoffman, David Huddleston, Tara Reid
Director: Coen Brothers

Dreading writing this because I just did not think it was as good as some people think. The best group ever, Army Of Freshmen, love it. My son Jake says it is "much better second time 'round". I think I "got it", but after a second viewing I can't say that it was more than an intresting night in for me with a great cast, good cinematagrophy and soundtrack, the best title fonts ever but lacking in the two most vital ingredients; plot and characters. WHAT!?!?! you may exclaim, no characters? Well yes, they were somehow over the top, lacking in genuine groundedness within the context of their own universe. Jeff Bridges was affable enough, but a dude who is funny because he is drunk or stoned is like something which is funny because you are drunk or stoned; it may not be. John Goodman was a boor. Steve Buscemi was the butt of a single joke repeatedly throughout the film. Hoffman was over the top, Waylon Smithers had done it all before. Why does Peter Stormare even take on these roles?

Look, I know the Coen brothers wanted a plot that was 'Chandleresque"; convoluted with lots of dead ends. Mission accomplished.

Two years earlier they made Fargo. I would have forgiven Hitler if he'd have made one film like Fargo.

Black Hawk Down
2001 Mark: 6
Watched: Sat 8 August 2015

Starring: Josh Hartnett with Eric Bana, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, William Fichtner, Jason Isaacs, Sam Shepard, Orlando Bloom, Nicolai Coster Waldau
Director: Ridley Scott

Some people will no doubt like this film more than me. Superbly filmed with a massive cast of great actors, It really didn't do it for me, Like Full Metal Jacket without the beginning bit, or like Gravity all the way through, it was magnificent, but there was no story to engage, even Ridley Scott says he had to write names on the helmets so one could identify who was on screen. Worth watching, if only to say you have seen it.

Boyhood
2014 Mark: 6
Watched: Tue 16 September 2014

Starring: Ellar Coltrane with Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke
Director: Richard Linklater (n)

Gulp! After being blown away by Pride I went to have a look at the prices with William Hills for the Oscars and noticed that this was favourite to win at 9/4. Naturally I downloaded it and must admit, that I was reasonably absorbed, for the first 90 minutes, but I just didn’t get it. It wound down and down and I was looking to see how long there was to go. Please please somebody tell me what I was. I mean a reasonable concept, but this was meant to be a fiction, therefore it could have been done with different actors and make up. I have seen the 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but come on, what do we take away from it? I feel like such a philistine, but I just supposed something was going to happen. Watch This Boy’s Life for a more satisfying version of the same story, watch 7 Up etc. for reality.

Captain Phillips
2013 Mark: 6
Watched: Mon 11 November 2013

Starring: Tom Hanks

Good, but not that good

A Dangerous Game
2014 Mark: 6
Watched: Sun 9 November 2014

Starring: Donald Trump
Director: Anthony Baxter

There is a great deal I don’t like about this film, which (SPOILER ALERT) is a diss piece about the building of Golf Courses, specifically those built by Donald Trump.

What makes me feel most uncomfortable about it (and many ‘right-on’ causes) is that it the evidence it presents often seems selective, shoddy or irrelevant. Look – I’m not saying Donald Trump is Joan of fucking Arc here, what I am saying is ‘prove that to me’ and then ‘show me why this is more important than a thousand other issues brought about by wealth disparity’.

There seems little demarcation between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ here, there are no bottom lines concerning costs and benefits, so for example, when golf courses in the middle of the desert are presented as generally detrimental, the benefits of temperate parkland Golf Courses, or at least even their potential is almost totally ignored.

I am what some people might term a card carrying tree hugging hippy, and yes, I do love golf, so I wanted something more convincing. I don’t need anybody to tell me that man’s incursions into desert is unsustainable given such models as Las Vegas, but my gut feeling is that a rocky hill-top above Dubrovnik that is currently used for two dozen goats and scrub, in a country with unlimited water could yield considerable benefits as a golf course; fiscal in terms of recreational potential and employment, but, dare I say it, environmental, in that a well managed golf course can provide varieties of habitats for diversification of species.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with a polemic that presents evidence in a balanced way. This does not. In effect the conclusion it draws is Donald Trump is bad because.. he’s bad! It may be noble, it may even be ‘right’, but it is fundamentally unconvincing.

I would really love to know if those Scotsman awards were a stitch up. It has happened before."

Enemy Of The State
1998 Mark: 6
Watched: Tue 18 February 2014

Starring: Will Smith with Jon Voight, Gene Hackman

I drank a bottle of wine and watched this in bits and am sure I missed something How can surveillance cameras dolly around a target? Who did take the incriminating film? Is Will Smith actually The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Is Jon Voight ever not a politician?

Entourage
2015 Mark: 6
Watched: Mon 14 September 2015

Starring: Adrian Grenier with Kevin Connolly, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Jeremy Piven
Director: Doug Ellin

If you liked American Pie and have grown up two decades, you will love this. I didn't hate it, I thought it was a little ostentatious, somewhat amusing, but not particularly compelling, watching the second half a day or two after the first, as one might a TV program to fill in 45 minutes before you go to bed. Look, I'm NOT dissing it, I'm just spoilt (having just watched Machete ).

Fletch
1985 Mark: 6
Watched: Fri 30 October 2015

Starring: Chevvy Chase with Geena Davis, Joe Don Baker, George Wendt
Director: Michael Ritchie

For me, the use of Harold Faltamyer's theme throughout encapsulates the reservations I have about this film. It has all been done better before. This was made the year after Beverly Hills Cop and though I didn't know that whilst I was watching it, I was constantly wondering weather or not it was meant to be a pastiche, I mean the music sounds like a piss-take of the former film's theme, Axel-F. If it is ironic it is delivered poorly. Chevvy Chase is just not that funny for me, his languid, careless 'audacity' just doesn't seem to sit well on a carachter who seems a little past his sell-by date. It's not to say I didn't enjoy it a little, but I think the writer's original reservations about the screeplay might be justified. It could have been a franchise, instead it's a slightly amusing glance at some of the naff things about 1985 and an unknown sequel.

Ghost Rider 2: Spirit Of Vengance
2013 Mark: 6
Watched: Tue 2 September 2014

Starring: Nicholas Cage with Christopher Lambert, Idris Elba.
Director: Mark Neveldine,Brian Taylor

I can't remember if I watched this film to the end. I can't remember if I enjoyed it. It was a night in which I may rember saying "ah give it a six then"

Godzilla
2014 Mark: 6
Watched: Wed 28 May 2014

Starring: Aaron Johnson with Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn, Bryan Cranston
Director: Gareth Edwards

A six, at the time of writing, makes me feel like I'm dissing this film, but hell no. Watched it in 3d and it is a spectacular film, but like Gravity, special effects alone do not make a great film.

I was quite happy that it didn't go for absolute household names in the actors (well they may be in some households, but me, I'm forgetful). Brian Cranston does a really good turn, and apart from Ken Watanabe (who seems to be on sedatives the whole film, probably not his fault), the entire cast do what they have to do, and that is be in awe.

So all in all a great cinema experience, but a bit like watching a trick golf show as opposed to the last round of the Masters

Gravity
2013 Mark: 6
Watched: Wed 18 December 2013

Starring: George Clooney with Sandra Bullock
Director: Alfonso Cuarón

At 3/1 for the best film Oscar this should have to be special on multiple levels. It is special on many levels, for example, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney nail Sandra Bullock and George Clooney performances, which are endearing, comfortable, witty, yadda yadda yadda. The Cinematography, along with the sound is like wow!! Breathtaking (Note to self, go and watch it in 3d).
Getting finicky about geography and physics is anal, fundamentally we go and watch a film for characters and story so...
Spoiler Alert
It is the Poseidon Adventure in reverse, a collection of vignettes involving the protagonist(s) moving through a succession of frying pans and fires and 'finding themselves' along the way. It is not as corny and Sandra Bullock has a million times better ass than Gene Hackman though. If I were a chick I would definitely be gay for that (Bullock, not Hackman).
Am I missing something here?

Hero
2002 Mark: 6
Watched: Fri 20 March 2015

Starring: Jet Li
Director: Zhang Yimou

You know I could get kind of tired of watching this kind of film. Although exquisitely rendered, and with interesting characters, the story seems a little hackneyed If you have seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, you have seen the best bits of this film. Please tell me I have not missed something here! If this film's slow motion had been real time it would have lasted 30 minutes. I think you have to be very much of a mindset to appreciate films like this, which are undoubtedly quite beautiful. I am sure IMAX would bring out the best in this, but when push comes to shove, the story is leaden, and the protagonists predictable. I could imagine this being an absolutely wonderful wall hanging, but don't expect to be stunned by plot twists. It is magnificent to look at though.

Hitman; Agent 47
2015 Mark: 6 Watched Sun 6 September 2015

Starring: Rupert Friend with Hannah Ware, Zachary Quinto, Ciarán Hinds, Thomas Kretschmann,
Director: Aleksander Bach

Did I enjoy 50 shades more than this? Yes I did. I am looking back on it quite fondly, and a 6 seems a bit low, but I am not allowed to change it. I think it is the Last Man Standing indestructability of the protagonists which detracts from the plot. I mean, you are not left thinking that a piano is going to fall on them. Poor old Mance Raider :(

Home Front
2013 Mark: 6
Watched: Sun 8 December 2013

Starring: Jason Statham
Director: Sylvester Stallone

Sweet. A variation on the 'Man with No Name', 'quiet stranger', loving father – look, you could write the script, but you didn't, Sylvester Stallone did, and like Cop Land he has made just a great film to watch

The Hunger Games: 1
2012 Mark: 6
Watched: Thu 20 November 2014

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence with Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Donald Sutherland
Director: Gary Ross

A re-watch prior to Mockingjay part 1, The film is interesting enough apart from it just seems to constantly break the rules of its own universe, I mean two arrows then all go to sleep??? Come on. I actually liked it better this time round but some of the things they do are plum ridiculous. I think the fire and the dogs would really piss off some of the punters in capital city who had wagered 48 groats on Katniss success, but ... Here are four parcels which some of you really neeeeed. Oh PS in case you forgot you are trying to kill each other. How sporting of the contestants just to risk life getting their own bag given that as far as we know the other bags were critical to their rivals and could have been easily snatched for little extra risk. Etc.. Fucking barmy.

I Origins
2014 Mark: 6
Watched: Wed 1 October 2014

Starring: with Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey
Director: Mike Cahill

Oh really? Well filmed, interesting story which kind of goes nowhere after a while, the dramatis personae are engaging but I was just left thinking that this was a religious film pretending not to be, like a friendly evangelist who leaves you feeling disappointed because its fundamental premise and subsequent conclusions are appealing to believers yet fundamentally repetitive and absolutely flimsy in their assumptions and proofs.

One of the finest books I have read is In The Blink Of An Eye (Andrew Parker, 2003) and it touches, in fact trumps this film by a factor of magnitude close to infinity! God people are annoying, God people pretending they are not are downright dangerous. Agnostics giving hokum credit because it cannot be disproved are subscribing to the most common fallacy trotted out in the sometimes impressive but fundamentally insubstansive Religious arsenal; the celestial teapot. If one believes a teapot orbits the Sun somewhere in space between the Earth and Mars, it is nonsensical to expect others to believe the same on the grounds that they cannot prove one wrong.

It goes back to the first film I watched today, What We Did On Our Holiday Lying.

America's Prince: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story
2003 Mark: 6
Watched: Mon 31 March 2014

Starring: Kristoffer Polaha with Portia de Rossi, Jacqueline Bisset
Director: Eric Laneuville

One of those made for TV biopics that is satisfying enough in terms of historical content (I hope) and not such a total hagiography. I must look to see how much this film cost to make. Enjoyable, but I'm spoilt nowadays

The Karen Carpenter Story
1989 Mark: 6

Starring: Mitchell Anderson with Cynthia Gibb

Like Saving Mr Banks, the makers of this film had a great soundtrack to work with. As a music fan it didn't tell me a great deal of what I didn't already know, but I would certainly recommend it to any music loving kids who want an insight into what was, for me, the greatest white female voice in my lifetime so far.
You never know how much is glossed over with these films, but I imagine that this goes just far enough without being judgemental, Unlike The Grace Kelly story which doesn't go far enough.

Lawrence Of Arabia
1961 Mark: 6

Starring: Peter O'Toole Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn, Jack Hawkins, José Ferrer, Anthony Quayle, Claude Rains, Arthur Kennedy, Omar Sharif
Director: David Lean

Too gay, superb theme

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
2015 Mark: 6
Watched: Thu 1 October 2015

Starring: Dylan O'Brien with Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Ki Hong Lee, Kaya Scodelario, Patricia Clarkson, Rosa Salazar, Giancarlo Esposito, Aidan Gillen
Director: Wes Ball

If you said to me "Tell us what Maze Runner 1 and 2 are about" I don't think I could talk for more than 30 seconds. In it's defence, I suspect there may be a complexity which has by-passed me, but somebody will have to bail me out if that is the case. This second instalment left me thinking I will watch the third for the sake of completion, whilst Mockingjay has left me really looking forward to the last part of Hunger Games. There's the rub.

Memento
2000 Mark: 6
Watched: Sat 4 October 2014

Starring: Guy Pearce with Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano, Stephen Tobolowsky
Director: Christopher Nolan

The six I gave this film, I have little doubt, does not reflect its merit. It tries to tell you I enjoyed the film, but not as much as Lets Be Cops. I am sure it demands another watch, or even one of the edited versions that puts the timeline conventionally. Don't in fact, read this review 'cos it won't tell you anything. Apart from perhaps I'm a bit dim on non linear narratives (I didn't like Pulp Fiction when I first saw it!!!

No Escape
2015 Mark: 6 Watched Wed 9 September 2015

Starring: Owen Wilson with Lake Bell, Pierce Brosnan
Director: John Erick Dowdle

"If Gravity was an inverted version of The Poseidon Adventure, then this was the lateral version. Spoiler alert: here is a good idea for a screenplay:

Paper Towns
2015 Mark: 6 Watched Wed 2 September 2015

Starring: Nat Wolf with Cara Delevingne
Director: Jake Schreier

Weirdly not totally convincing teen bro/romance which didn't quite hang together but was fairly easy on the eye. It would be interesting to hear the point of view of someone who likes this stuff.

Phone Booth
2003 Mark: 6
Watched: Sat 3 May 2014

Starring: Colin Farrell with Forest Whitaker, Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell, Kiefer Sutherland.
Director: Joel Schumacher

Reasonable concept, reasonable characters but just a little too implausable to hook me in. I quite like Colin Farrell in this, and Whitaker was preparing himself for the Shield with this role, but all the time you want to say, just go for it, nobody is that good a shot

Plastic
2014 Mark: 6
Watched: Mon 5 May 2014

Starring: Ed Speleers with Will Poulter, Alfie Allen, Sebastian de Souza, Emma Rigby
Director: Julian Gilbey

The Lavender Hill Mob and the Ladykillers are better caper movies. I mean this was OK but just a little err... A little unimaginative? Was it a true story? One minute.... Supposedly. Theon Greyjoy you are truly lost now.

The Producers
1967 Mark: 6
Watched: Tue 21 January 2014

Starring: Zero Mostel with Danny Kaye
Director: Mel Brooks

Watch this once if only for Springtime For Hitler. Over the top and potracted comedy, very much of its age

Ricochet
1991 Mark: 6
Watched: Sun 27 April 2014

Starring: Denzill Washinton with John Lithgow, Ice T
Director: Russell Mulcahy

Well, with a plate of nacho's and a gin and tonic this makes for a nice, non-challenging Saturday night. Intresting watching a pre-oscar Denzill Washington looking buff, and John Lithgow doing what John Lithgow does in his psycopath hat. Don't look for plot continuity, crediblity or philosophy in this film. Help yourself to polarisation of characters and 'action'at Yiou know it's a nice thing about films that so many of them turn out to be so entertaining. When I compare this too another film which springs to mind The Edge it differs in that it does not take itself too seriously, consequently works within its own 'cartoon' universe. It says 'look, we know you know, therefore we are not insulting your intelligence, just fill your face and enjoy'

Tideland
2005 Mark: 6
Watched: Sat 7 February 2015

Starring: Jodelle Ferland with Brendan Fletcher, Janet McTeer, Jennifer Tilly, Jeff Bridges
Director: Terry Gilliam

I guess I am the viewer who " just won't know what to think about it Would I rather have watched this than not watched it? Definitely. Is it thought provoking? My thoughts are provoked. Did I enjoy it? Not really.

What a wierd, disturbing film, it is the kind of thing which I can't wait to talk about with somebody. Like The Fall This gives a yound girl's perspective on the fucked up world we live in by imagining her imagination. The girl in this is truly brilliant but her world is well and truly fucked up... Damn. Like many disturbing films, I am positive that if I was judging it on merit as opposed to personal enjoyment this would rate Much higher. Just how accurate is it as an insight into a human mind? Damn damn damn!

A Walk In The Woods
2015 Mark: 6 Watched Wed 30 September 2015

Starring: Robert Redford with Nick Nolte, Kristen Schaal, Nick Offerman, Mary Steenburgen, Emma Thompson
Director: Ken Kwapis

So much more of a watch than Wild, this didn't suck half as much as it could have done. I suppose, when all's said and done, Billy Bryson is an entertaining bloke.

X-Men 2
2003 Mark: 6
Watched: Thu 29 May 2014

Starring: Patrick Stewart with Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Shawn Ashmore, Aaron Stanford, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, James Marsden, Kelly Hu.
Director: Brian Singer

I am going to have to watch these again and again to learn who does what and what they are called. I probably have given this a six more out of optimism and love of Julia and Dave rather than I actually understood it. I will get there eventually!

Eyes of Laura Mars
1978 Mark: 6.1 Watched Wed 14 October 2015

Starring: Faye Dunaway with Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Dourif, Rene Auberjonois
Director: Irvin Kershner

Fantastical, dated, unintentionally funny, it kind of held my attention for the duration, but it was a frowner in that you are constantly thinking is this a fantasy, or is it meant to be the real world, and ... Look, the 6 .1 I gave it means I enjoyed it, but I think I am getting picky nowadays. Funny watching Odo, Grima Wormtongue, and young Warden Dwight McCloskey even though Faye Dunaway's almost constant state of shock got annoying.

The Virgin Soldiers
1969 Mark: 6.3
Watched: Sat 17 October 2015

Starring: Hywell Bennett with Lynn Redgrave, Nigel Davenport, Michael Gwynn, Geoffrey Hughes, Roy Holder
Director: John Dexter

Like Kes This has been a film that has been around all my life without me seeing it, and I'm not unhappy that I filled in the gap. I wouldn't say it's a must see, but it'll while away an afternoon, seeing who you can spot in it (My favourite was Lord Melbury from Fawlty Towers )

Beautiful Creatures
2013 Mark: 6.4
Watched: Thu 29 October 2015

Starring: Alden Ehrenreich with Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum, Thomas Mann, Emma Thompson
Director: Richard LaGravenese

This is a bit like watching a condensed vesion of True Blood. Very American teen, a little bit too self righteous, nevertheless a well put together piece of evening distraction which I enjoyed watching, not least because of an A list supporting cast!

Fifty Shades Of Grey
2015 Mark: 6.49
Watched: Fri 13 February 2015

Starring: Dakota Johnson with Jamie Dornan, Rita Ora
Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson

I’ve seen plenty worse films and fallen asleep during better ones. I am pretty sure that this may suffer from Frozen syndrome, i.e. lots of people who haven’t seen it will tell you it’s rubbish. It differs from Frozen in that it is not a cinematic masterpiece with a clutch of absolutely wonderful songs, nevertheless it is not that bad. I wouldn’t want to pay 12 quid to watch it, but I’m glad I went on my Unlimited card, not just to assuage my curiosity, but I also I enjoyed it!

SPOILER ALERT: The thing is, it works in its own scheme, and it is a story which has been told a million times before, in that a reasonably hot, but fundamentally unextraordinary, chick has relationship with a chap who just happens to be “The World’s most eligible bachelor”. It also happens that he apparently goes to work but doesn’t do anything when he is there. Of the two central characters I found that he was the most interesting one by miles, but I think that’s the way it was meant to be. Good choices on Thomas Hardy as book choice and I’m on Fire as background music, and yes, it does pose questions about stated and revealed preferences, and realistic ones at that. It is not ground breaking (fisting, both cunt and ass is off the agenda!), It is as clichéd as fuck at times, and some scenes had me reaching for the mobile to check my texts, nonetheless it is a reasonable story told reasonably well.

The audience was very much of a specific demographic (i.e. not like me). The car park would have been a dangerous place after the packed house for the first showing streamed out at 2:45"

3 Days To Kill
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 24 June 2014

Starring: Kevin Costner with Amber Heard
Director: McG

This is a rare film in that it lurches between eminently watchable and then dire from scene to scene, from frame to frame. On the positive side is Kevin Costner's quasi comedic performance a reasonable story (I'm struggling now) and ... The negatives including the worst sound track ever ( I Love It, I Want To Make It With you ) and unbelievable threads like his bitchy little daughter learning to ride a bike in the worst place possible and a stupid stupid ubercool manipulative spy-master. Because she is a tart in high heels. And why didn't the Christmas present say (SPOILER ALERT) "there was never anything wrong with you, you dick". Whatever, I gave it the mark, I enjoyed it, but if every film was this moderate I wouldn't enjoy Cineworld enough to justify the ticket

After Hours
1985 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Thu 17 September 2015

Starring: Griffin Dunne with Rosanna Arquette, Linda Fiorentino, Teri Garr, Cheech Marin, John Heard
Director: Martin Scorsese

My first film alphabetically (as of September 2015). That doesn't tell you much, I guess I am avoiding confronting this, as it was recommended me by Jack Bennet, and I don't want to seem like a philistine. I am glad I watched it, nevertheless, it wasn't quite my tempo, in that although the characterisations were terrific, they had no real story to grow upon, I mean, SPOLIER ALERT how unlucky can a bloke be in an evening?, 'cos that is the premise. It isn't like one thing leads to another, the bad luck, although intertwined is just a set of inorganic incidents which play out against each other, not with each other.

There, I've gone and told you why I haven't given it a nine.

Perhaps humour, because of its innate irrationality, becomes a very personal thing, I mean, I hate Keith Lemon, and don't like Harry Hill or Russell Brand, even though they are all well loved and no doubt very talented (apart from Keith Lemon). Perhaps its because by trying to be 'hip' for its time it is dated now, the Village People stereotypes seemed a little patronising to me. Perhaps its because Martin Scorsese blows hot and cold for me; whatever, I enjoyed the film, but for dark comedy would go for In Bruges

Age Of Heroes
2011 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Fri 27 June 2014

Starring: Danny Dyer with Sean Bean
Director: Adrian Vitoria

Well I liked this. The paella was good, the wine more than adequate and I like Danny Dyer more than Mark Kermode, who seems to put a greater emphasis on packaging than content. To try and capture the soul of this film without giving spoilers away, it is just another heist movie, but without the comedy and set in World War II. If you like Sean Bean, you will like this film, if you don't well going and watch Walking on bleedin' Sunshine you vacuous moron. I actually reckon this was just the right film to watch at the time!

PS: This is actually based around the true story of the formation of Ian Fleming's 30th Commando regiment!

The Apartment
1960 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sat 10 October 2015

Starring: Jack Lemmon with Shirley MacLaine, Fred MacMurray, Jack Kruschen
Director: Billy Wilder

How foolish can two people be? Jack Lemmon is almost too good an actor, his timing and inflexion is so deliberate it leaves nothing to the imagination. Although some of this film kept the attention a lot of it was just too corny. The old days were great then though, when it was perfectly normal for geriatric blokes to go out with twenty somethings

Bad Neighbours
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 5 May 2014

Starring: Seth Rogan with Zac Effron
Director: Nicholas Stoller

Zac Effron WILL do an action movie soon, and he will be good at it. This is exactly what you would tip from Seth Rogan, and had some genuine Laugh Out Loud moments. Yeah – it was good. Watch it. But do not expect anything beyond the expected

The Best Of Me
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Wed 15 October 2014

Starring: James Marsden with Michelle Monaghan, Luke Bracey, Liana Liberato
Director: Michael Hoffman

My goodness I had to take some deep swallows to sit through this one, but, you know, there was more good than bad about it. I reckon the male female ratio in the cinema on this particular Orange Wednesday was perhaps 1 to 20. The main man was just a bit too perfect, which no doubt explains the girly bias, and there were many excruciating (for me) glances, passages and scenes, nevertheless, it had its moments, it didn't resort to God, the plot took some surprising turns, the scenery was superb. And so yes, it gets a slight thumbs up. Not quite Labour Day, but worth the trip. Fuck I feel dorky on my own! Luke Bracey as young Dawson was very good

The Boat That Rocked
2009 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 11 July 2011

Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman with Bill Nighy, Nick Frost, Mark Addy, Rhys Evans, Chris O'Dowd, Gemma Artuton, Emma Thompson, Kenneth Brannagh, Jack Davenport
Director: Richard Curtis

Reasonably entertaining, but I must admit I found the foppish teen and the lack of factual continuity a little annoying, but that is just me. It could have been a TV series (Richard Curtis was the director) A good film for a UK/US connections.

Almost Famous (foppish Teen, Philip Seymour Hoffman) comes out 1.5 points in front as a piece of theatre about the music of our youth. It crosses over and is still relevant today, whereas TBTR is just a yarn.

Chinatown
1974 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 17 August 2015

Starring: Jack Nicholson with Faye Dunaway, John Huston
Director: Roman Polanski

Couldn't quite get why this film is so accoladed. To be sure Jack Nicholson is awesome, but we have been spoilt by modern film and TV dramas, we really have. When films try to be 'modern' they date a little more quickly (Yeah, I know, this was set in the 30s, but the 'gritty realism' just seems a bit lame compared with The Wire ). I'd watch LA Confidential for this done better, but hell, watch it anyhoo

The Counsellor
2013 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sun 17 November 2013

Starring: Michael Fassbender with Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt

Can't remember much about this for some reason, but I did enjoy it. That was a really lame review!

Double Indemnity
1944 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Fri 7 February 2014

Starring: Fred McMurray with Barbara Stanywick, Edward G Robinson
Director: Billy Wilder

I always feel guilty giving old films relatively low ratings, but they do date. Yes this had great occasional dialogue, reasonable story, good, albeit somewhat falsified characters, but perhaps just as time wears on the film maker has more resources at their disposable, and old films have got to be something very special or, as in the case of Disneys, performed in a medium that is difficult to improve upon. Really, those sunglasses in the supermarket? Not in any universe.

Driven To Kill
2009 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 26 August 2014

Starring: Steven Seagal
Director: Jeff F. King

It seems weird given the time elapsed to give these Segal films the same mark or better than some Oscar winning movies. The thing is though, they are entertaining. Not particularly challenging, often laughably executed, unsurprising in outcome, nevertheless they are entertaining. Of the double header we had, Driven to Kill edges it, even though they have the same mark

Dumb and Dumber
1994 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sat 27 June 2015

Starring: Jim Carey with Jeff Daniels, Terry Garr
Director: Peter Farrelly

Jim Carey is too Jerry Lewis for my liking in this film, that certainly has it’s LOL moments but is hardly challenging. Bill and Ted and Stepbrothers do this so much better

Fantastic Four
2015 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 4 August 2015

Starring: Miles Teller with Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson
Director: Josh Trank

Perhaps we have been spoiled by the last few Marvel outings. This never quite gets the humour of its immediate predecessors, it all seems a little 'make my monster grow'ish. Full of phrases like "His biometric scales are off the chart" the science is imaginative and the logic less than impeccable. This sounds like a diss piece, it is not, it is still worth a watch for free, I just wouldn't want to pay eight quid. This review is unsatisfactory. :(

The Gambler
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Fri 23 January 2015

Starring: Mark Whalberg with John Goodman, Brie Larson, Michael K. Williams, Jessica Lange
Director: Rupert Wyatt

Another good turn from Marky Mark, in this he puts the lac in laconic. Like Wild, which I saw the same afternoon, I have to add that this was a GOOD film, a thoroughly enjoyable watch, top side of six and a half. What surprised me was I sat through three films and Wolf Hall, and never nodded once, which says something about how great movies are. I am sure I will look at other films on 7.5 and think WTF?

Last year about this time I mentioned how cool it was the Michel K Williams appeared as a bit part in 12 Years A Slave This year he is strong support. Next year co star, 2016 he will star. He is a great watch

The Shooter, The Fighter, The Gamber, The Happening... Is there something going on here>"

Guardians Of The Galaxy
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 12 August 2014

Starring: Chris Pratt with Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Benicio del Toro
Director: James Gunn

I think this film may have caught me at the wrong time, in that I must have nodded off during parts of it. I kind of liked it but forgot most of it as well. The soundtrack thing didn't sit comfortably with me and I am ashamed cos my daughters love it. I s

Home
2015 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Thu 23 April 2015

Starring: Jim Parsons with Rihanna, Jennifer Lopez, Steve Martin
Director: Tim Johnson

Where do I start? I mean, this was a lovely watch, not entirely my cup of tea, but I would love to take Grace to see it (my two year old niece) in two year's time. I enjoyed Rihanna's contribution, as Tip, the heroine, and soundtrack. O (the alien protagonist) would have been better without me thinking of Sheldon Cooper at his gayest all night. Loved some of the homages, I may be wrong but “A bit of a fixer upper” was a direct lift from Frozen, the musical motif was the six note riff from Tomorrow (from Annie ) and really, was there a nod to the Ultimate Dog Tease?

The Hundred Foot Journey
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 15 September 2014

Starring: Helen Mirren with Om Puri, Manish Dayal, Charlotte Le Bon
Director: Lasse Hallström

After watching Pride a couple of hours earlier I was still high and in no real position to judge this objectively. I enjoyed it, but was it because I was in a super mood and pliable to all cinematic suggestion? It may have been you know, because objectively it was a nice story, amusing in places amidst scenery that was too lovely, yet... I dunno. 6.5 still says 'good film', it'll be interesting to compare this to Chef that comes out in a couple of days

Iron Man
2008 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sun 4 May 2014

Starring: Robert Downey Jnr with Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges

Enjoyable in a Marvel way. I went back to this to review it, I suppose to compare it with CA TWS, and for kind of the same story, the latter film does it better. All four main characters tend to grate just a little bit. Not enough to stop one enjoying the movie, just enough to imagine there is just too much smugness floating round to allow immersion and identification

James Bond 19; The World Is Not Enough
1999 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Thu 6 March 2014

Starring: Piers Brosnan with Sophie Marceau, John Cleese, Robert Carlyle Denise Richards, Robbie Coltrane, Judi Dench
Director: Michael Apted

How long has it taken me to watch this film? Well I'm glad I did. Don't expect anything but ridiculous innuendo and overtime for stuntmen as Piers defeats an absolutely potty Kasak Megalomaniac super-villain who aims to further his ends in the most ridiculously inefficient, convoluted and entertaing way imaginable.

The Keeper
2009 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Wed 27 August 2014

Starring: Steven Seagal
Director: Keoni Waxman

Partt of a Segal double header, I had forgotten the name of both of them within the few days that have elapsed, yet I could kind of watch these with a friend most nights

Knowing
2009 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 23 June 2014

Starring: Nicholas Cage with Ben Mendelsohn
Director: Alex Proyas

One of those tape it 'cos Nick Cage should be good for a few moments films, and sure enough he is. There were genuinely times during this that piqued my fear button, albeit exceedingly briefly, and it didn't quite clear the hurdle of suspension of disbelief, nevertheless I enjoyed it, so what?

Last Man Standing
1996 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 31 August 2015

Starring: Bruce Willis with Bruce Dern, William Sanderson, Christopher Walken, David Patrick Kelly, Michael Imperioli
Director: Walter Hill

A critically poorly recieved film, I can praise some aspects of it, but feel that it is implausibility of it all that dissapointed me more than the technical aspects (music, acting, and cinematography were all pretty awesome). An all star cast replicate the story of A Fistfull Of Dollars with the added bonus that the hero is actually indestructable and, bar one which hits him in the lower off-stomach towards the end of the film, is to all intents and purposes, bullet-proof. It just doesn't wash, so by half way through you come to realise there is not a great deal of shock to look forward to.

Intresting cast in that Walter Hill uses David Patrick Kelly in a pretty similar role to The Warriors and that the overarching feel of Deadwood has to be because of the directorial connection, along with Dern and Sanderson, who is eminently recognisable

The Lego Movie
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sun 16 February 2014

Starring: Chris Pratt with Elizabeth Banks, Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie, Charlie Day, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman

This turned out better than I would have expected. I feel I should have given it more than 6.5, nevertheless I nodded off during it, I think due more to tiredness (had just watched The Monuments Men and had a foot long, than lack of interest. A whole heap of cross references that I am sure I missed, and a believable premise. I am not sure how much was CGI and how much was stop-go, but it was quite magnificent, the cinematography, as it were. Almost too intense a visual assault, but definitely worth a watch and a credible movie for adults.

Monsters; Dark Continent
2015 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 5 May 2015

Starring: Johnny Harris
Director: Tom Green

This might just be a better film than I imagined. It was not the roaring, explosion filled, monster fest I anticipated, although it did not lack for monsters and roaring and explosions. It had the feel of American Sniper meets The Day After Tomorrow on 8 mile and, has left me wondering was it an anti-war film. I think it was. SPOILER ALERT: If you want monster action you WILL be disappointed. If a film makes you think about it afterwards, that may indicate that it has merits unrealised. Mmmm....

I was going to say it had a lot of Godzilla about it and damn, Gareth Edwards was Executive Producer.

I should have realised and articulated this prior to going to the discussions, but say you took every monster out and replaced them with, say, camels, it would have made no material difference to the film.

Peggy Sue Got Married
1986 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sat 17 May 2014

Starring: Kathleen Turner with Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey, Helen Hunt, Joan Allen, Catherine Hicks,, Sofia Coppola
Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Hard to go wrong with temporal displacement films even when they are done by non geeky people who understand the paradoxes that might be set up. Unusually I watched this over the same weekend as La Bamba (they are set in the same era)

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
2010 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sat 11 January 2014

Starring: Logan Lerman with Alexandra Daddario, Piers Brosnan, Joe Pantiliano, Sean Bean, Uma Thurman, Steve Coogan,. Rasorio Dawson

Was this just more fun than Hunger Games ?
Absolutely stellar cast, one of the lads in my tutor class at Plymouth said it was his favourite film, and I've been meaning to watch it ever since. Would I rather watch this than Gravity ? Yes I would!!

Perfect Stranger
2007 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 13 October 2015

Starring: Halle Berry with Bruce Willis, Giovanni Ribisi
Director: James Foley

This just managed to keep me hanging on until three quarters of the way through I was quite intrested in, and satidfied by, The resolution. There are plenty of better films kicking about but I wasn't kicking myself about watching this. Good idea filming three different endings!

The Planet Of The Apes 1; Rise Of
2013 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 17 November 2014

Starring: James Franco with Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, Andy Serkis
Director: Rupert Wyatt

I should have loved this, but having just watched Life with David Attenborough on BBC talking about Chimp Hierarchies, this still seems unconvincing in visual terms (You can tell that allthough they are good they are not real apes, it fails in its own Universe as I don't care how powerfull the drug is, you can't learn Dick unless you are taught it somehow, and finally it fails in that the Bonobo is the bad guy. Huh?

Platoon
1986 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 15 September 2015

Starring: Charlie Sheen with Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, John C. McGinley, Kevin Dillon, Forest Whitaker, Johnny Depp
Director: Oliver Stone

Err.. It is tough to write about an accoladed film, that technically you can't pick fault with, that most definitely wasn't a terrible watch, but just didn't do it for me in terms of super-enjoyable. A host of then young stars make this a touchstone for connections, a huge coincidence that the last two films I've watched ( Entourage and this) could not have been more different, or further apart in time, yet both featured Kevin Dillon. Crash knocked me out when I went back to it. This didn't. But it was worth crossing off for sure. Like Canon For Strings some people love it, but, not me.

Rampart
2011 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sat 20 December 2014

Starring: Woody Harrelson with ice Cubem Steve Buscemi, Sigourney Weaver
Director: Oren Moverman

Here is a Freebie. If you want Woody Harelson watch Natural Born Killers, If you want a reflection on policing in LA watch the entirety of The Shield, If you want a night in watching a film I guess this'll do.

The Riot Club
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Wed 1 October 2014

Starring: Max Irons with Ben Schnetzer, Natalie Dormer (will probably add to this list as they all get famous)
Director: Lone Scherfig

I imagine that the cast in this will go on to greater things, (I recognised Ben Schnetzer from Pride and a few of the others set bells ringing), but that's nothing to do with assesing this film.

I can't say it was thoroughly enjoyable, the characters were largely far too repulsive for that, but I reckon it was quite an excellent pitch at describing priveleged young men, in that some, without doubt, are disarmingly talented and charming whilst others are complete dicks. I also like the angle that this doesn't end good for general welfare. It would have been intresting to see if the landlord's daughter accepted the £27,000. Watch it and you will see what I mean. Go see, in fact double it up with Pride and be proud of British film making, if not quite proud of some aspects of humanity

Secretariat
2010 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sun 12 January 2014

Starring: John Malkovich with Diane Lane

Good quiz background film, Malkovich is no longer mal, With of good story like this it must be tough to actually make a bad film of it, so this is a nice evening in

Shaun The Sheep Movie
2015 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 9 February 2015
Directors: Richard Starzak, Mark Burton

I loved the backgrounds on this. It was just like the land of my life, Yorkshire, the dales, the buses, the walls, the roads, Leeds/Manchester, the shops, the people. If the story had been a quarter of the scenery this would have been a great film. As it turns out it was a pleasant enough watch, perhaps not quite what I would pay £8 for, at least not when Kingsman or The Interview were on next door, but still pleasant enough with the old Unlimited card

Son Of A Gun
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 3 February 2015

Starring: Brenton Thwaites with Euan McGregor, Alicia Vikander
Director: Julius Avery

One of those films that are a jolly good watch, kind of semi predictable, a wee bit of head scratching as to peoples motive's, why did the girl like the boy, why did the King Con like the lad, where were the Australian Air Force?.. but not the total turn off it could have been. I'm still trying to figure out if these were good guys or bad guys.

Suspect
1987 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 5 August 2014

Starring: Cher with Liam Neeson, Dennis Quaid
Director: Peter Yates

I suppose I watched this for Liam Neeson, but Cher wasn't half bad in it. I just enjoyed it, even though I can't remember the title!

Swearnet: The Movie
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sun 26 April 2015

Starring: Rob Wells with Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay, Pat Roach, Carrot Top, Sebastian Bach, John Dunsworth
Director: Warren P. Sonoda

I feel I should mark this higher for loyalty's sake, but I must try to be impartial. I love Trailer Park Boys, and this would have always struggled to keep up with that high standard. It is more of the same, with a good denoument, and a film which is an enjoyable watch, but you just can't help comparing it to its origins. If you are a fan you will like it.

The Third Man
1949 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Thu 29 January 2015

Starring: Joseph Cotten with Orson Welles, Trevor Howard
Director: Carol Reed

Here I go saying an absolute classic wasn't that entertaining. It just wasn't, the set up was not believable, the dialogue and behaviour dated. The sets not particularly imaginative (OK it was 1949) and the music, though instantly identifiable, didn't quite fit, at least for me. Still worth a watch.

P.S. OMG - " It is considered one of the greatest films of all time, celebrated for its atmospheric cinematography, performances, and musical score " !!!

Touch The Top Of The World
2006 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Thu 27 March 2014

Starring: Peter Facinelli

In the same vein as Touching The Void without the level of drama and production qualities, and a little bit more backstory on the protagonist which is a little David Copperfield ish, in that it becomes a little overbearing to watch a hagiography. I think a plot summary would not be out of place so basically; it is the story of Erik Weihenmayer, the first blind person to climb Everest.

Transformers
2007 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Sun 29 March 2015

Starring: Shia La Boef with Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor, John Turturro, Jon Voight
Director: Michael Bay

Great start, but I realise why I can't remember much about me watching it first time; The last hour is devoid of story, and because it is CGI it is just a (SPOILER ALERT) boring fight during which I drifted between sleep and consciousness to see a Bay-fest of impact smashes and explosions.

Under The Skin
2013 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Mon 29 December 2014

Starring: Scarlet Johanssen with Lots of non-actor extras
Director: Jonathan Glazer

Much of this film was impressive, Scarlett Johannsen conveys such perfect sexuality, I could very easily identify with the men she met. Those men were largely duped into the scenes being filmed by hidden cameras which is definitely worth watching. The film, however, failed to maintain my intrest throughout, in that we did kind of have the same scene four or five times, and given the sparsity of dialogue (13 minutes before the first words) I was becoming bored waiting for development. As a story concept it is terrific, but it is almost analogous to human emotion changes. If the cinematagraphy was meant to make Scotland look bleak, poor, cold and depressing it was terrific. The cast, given they were Johannseen and a bunch of non-luvvies were awesome. It could still have been a one hour Tales of the Unexpected

Vanilla Sky
2001 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Tue 5 August 2014

Starring: Tom Cruise with Penélope Cruz, Kurt Russell, Jason Lee, Noah Taylor, Cameron Diaz, Timothy Spall, Tilda Swinton, Steven Spielberg, Johnny Galecki
Director: Cameron Crowe

Writing this before I've finished the film, but I can't wait to do so. Tom Cruise Sci Fi gets better as the years wear on. (see The Edge of Tomorrow

Wild
2014 Mark: 6.5
Watched: Fri 23 January 2015

Starring: Reese Witherspoon (n) with Laura Dern (n), Thomas Sadoski, Michiel Huisman, Gaby Hoffmann
Director: Jean-Marc Vallée

Six and a half is good. Reese Witherspoon was adequate, as was Lara Dern, but as Oscar Nominees they did't make me punch the air in triumph when they had their moments. The thing is, it's not too much of a story:

SPOILER ALERT. Nice chick goes on a 1200 mile hike up the American Rockies, sees a snake in the desert, a coyote in the woods, wasn't well prepared but flutters her eyelashes for any amount of help. She feels threatened (multiple times) but never actually was harmed by any animals or humans. Like me when I go to Neil Aspland's house to talk to him, and they call the police. Mountains and Molehills. Why is the tone of this review far less positive than the other 6.5 I saw today, The Gambler ? Cos Mark Whalberg is not gonna be nominated for any Oscars.

To get things straight, I still enjoyed it

V For Vendetta
2006 Mark: 6.8 Watched Thu 5 November 2015

Starring: Natalie Portman with Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea, John Hurt, Stephen Fry, Tim Pigott-Smith, Rupert Graves, Roger Allam, John Standing, Sinéad Cusack, Natasha Wightman, Imogen Poots
Director: James McTeigue

Why people hate me, volume 51115

I appropriately watched this on Bonfire Night at the behest of my beloved neighbour, Danni, who had put up a quote from it on her FaceBook page , namely ""People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people"" To which I , naturally, replied ""Why on Earth should a government be afraid of people in a 'democracy' where over 55% of the people have less than 5% of the wealth? Amen my arse, they should be laughing to their back teeth reading FaceBook at all the lilly livered cunts whinging about how bad things are, without doing anything about it. (Don't take it personally Dan, you are fab!)""

The thing is, the quote, and the film illicit the same reaction in me, that as humans we observe films, history, stories and analogies and imagine that we are not collectively horrible, and that we all go on about ""ewww, Selma, Suffragette, 12 Years A Slave, Schindler's List, that wouldn't happen on our watch"", but the fact is, it is going ahead full steam on our watch, this second, this minute this year, and we are fuckin' moronically oblivious to it.

I was in the sauna yesterday, some bloke walks in, a Labour councillor from Normanton, and he told us about how the Conservative councillors attend 8 two hour meetings per year to claim their full £12,000 councillor's allowance. He went on to explain the math to us; £750 per hour. I then pointed out there would be many Labour councillors who would do exactly the same thing, that the demography of either party regarding all aspects of human 'goodness' was probably indistinguishable. He then said, quote ""Ah but we don't use it as a stick to beat them (i.e. the Tories) with"" I pointed out that he had just spent the previous two minutes doing precisely that. It didn't sadden me that Councillors might be greedy, or even that he had the effrontery to contradict himself in the space of 60 seconds and refuse to acknowledge it. It worried me a little that he tried to change the subject by inferring that I had somehow dissed an old friend of mine who was a councillor (I hadn't). The real permanent, inescapable tragedy was that a friend of over 30 years, sitting one yard away from both of us would not acknowledge the glaringly inescapable contradiction, choosing to say something along the lines of ""it's nothing to do with me"", and that far from being unique, he was being absolutely, typically, mundanely, 'nicely' human.

Which brings us to the film. The sofa family sucked, Steven Fry seems like a bit of an add-on. I mean I love the guy, but Gosford Park, The Hobbit part 12.. I'm being picky. Look, what do I know? I'm the only person I know who was cynical about 1984, but like I said, I carry a lot of baggage when it comes to my faith in collective humanity, and when I see films which make people feel right-on, I gag a little. And it saddens me that the majority of people do not, can not, comprehend why.

12 Years A Slave
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 7 January 2014

Starring: Chiwetel Ejiofor with Ashley Dyke, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt
Director: Steve McQueen

Now then! Odds on for best film Oscar, but for me it is many lengths behind several films I have seen at the latter part of 2013. Don't get me wrong, it is quite awesome, but as a message film it fails. White folk in the Antebellum South were just as good, bad or usually indifferent as the 10,000 people closest to you now, at this moment in time. This film is an excuse for 95% y'all to get real righteous and say "My goodness, how bad were those people", but until you realise that you/we are just the same the message is pointless. Yeah, and like Jack Tarr could just stab a nigger on the boat. That could never of happened without the guy being hauled over the coals by the slave owner.
Spoiler Alert. The film is about a bloke who was a slave for 12 years.

P.S. Watched the BAFTA awards and Steve McQueen, the director, was giving his acceptance speech after receiving the Best Film award. He delivered this fine point:

”Right now there are twenty one million people in slavery as we sp... as we sit here. Twenty-one million people. I just hope that a hundred and fifty years from now our ambivalence will not allow another film-maker to make this film”

My point is it will. And the same fuckers will be wringing their hands and voting for it

300; Rise Of An Empire
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 10 March 2014

Starring: Sullivan Stapleton with Lena Hedey, Eva Green
Director: Zack Snyder

Surprise! I thought this was going to be garbage (I never really liked the first one) but did I like this? Hell yeah! I know ships don't come over the top of hills of water like the cavalry, I know that Persian bitch-queens don't wear fishnets and Goth make up. I understand it was entirely green screen. I know that the queen of Sparta was the alternate universe Cersei Lannister. The film would have lasted just 30 minutes if they didn't put it in super slo-mo every time there was some blood flying through the air (which was practically the whole movie). Xerxes must have got gay virus and, and, and... everything. But it was ENJOYABLE. I actually got quite invested in a few of the lead characters.

51st State
2001 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 14 January 2013

Starring: Samuel L Jackson with Robert Carlyle, Emily Mortimer, Ricky Tomlinson, Sean Pertwee, Rhys Ifans, Meat Loaf
Director: Ronny Yu

Solid, amusing film set in Liverpool!

The Age of Adeline
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 22 May 2015

Starring: Blake Lively with Michiel Huisman, Kathy Baker, Amanda Crew, Harrison Ford, Ellen Burstyn
Director: Lee Toland Krieger

Sitting writing about this and I want to mark it down, nevertheless I'll leave it at the 7 I gave it three quarters of the way through, in that it got much more interesting once Harrison Ford appeared on the screen half way through. It kept me awake, and the science was absolutely terrible. The best bit was Young Indiana Jones doing a great job of the accent. Surely did not like this more than The Lego Movie ?

All The King's Men
1948 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Broderick Crawford
Director: Robert Rossen

This film discusses a theme that is close to my heart; politics, and gives a fairly compelling reflection upon it and human nature in general

The Amazing Spiderman 2
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 28 May 2014

Starring: Andrew Garfield with Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane DeHaan, Campbell Scott, Embeth Davidtz, Colm Feore, Paul Giamatti, Sally Field Marc Webb

I liked it! Much the same as the first francise, this has action with levity, and I liked

American Sniper
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 16 January 2015

Starring: Bradley Cooper (n) with Sienna Miller
Director: Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood has moved on a bit since Heartbreak Ridge. In this film he takes a true patriot story and paints it with stars and stripes, all very moving. Bradley Cooper has moved on from American Hustle (in which he was good) and I can see why he has been nominated for best actor. He won't get it as there are three stand outs in front of him, nevertheless he was as convincing a seal as Paddington was a bear, i.e. absolutely believable. He definitely has the best movie sniff ever!

If you enjoyed Fury, The Monuments Men, The Railwayman and Unbroken you'll enjoy this. I enjoyed those four so.... (Do the math). This has a brief, but I consider very convincing, scene when they watch 9/11 on telly. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Barton Fink
1991 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 3 July 1905

Starring: John Turturro
Director: Coen Brothers

I'm pretty sure that if I watch this again I will up it from a 7. Love that picture.

A Beautiful Mind
2000 Mark: 7

Starring: Russell Crowe with
Director: Ron Howard

Russell Crowe is very good in this, but I reckon Good Will Hunting does the genius thing better

The Best Years Of Our Lives
1946 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 23 March 2015

Starring: Frederick March with Myrna Loy, Dana Andrews, Teresa Wright, Virginia Mayo, Cathy O'Donnell, Hoagy Carmichael, Harold Russell
Director: William Wyler

"A multiple Oscar winner, it seems to be the one which has most faded from the public eye. The first 50 minutes or so are terrific, when, given the constraints of what was a film industry still learning, we have a great set up, but... It really doesn’t go anywhere once the guys all come back from a night on the town. I might suggest that the film is heavily constrained by the mores of the day, which leaves one feeling that so much is missing, specifically sex, arguably the most important thing relationships, is barely alluded to, and though it was fine to chain smoke and get so drunk you couldn’t remember, I reckon a boner was out of the question. It is a shame because the characters were there, a fistful of them which looked down the road of development but never travelled down there. It was not all sweetness and light, but I can only assume it was artistically stifled by an industry wracked with fear, so any ‘gritty realism’ was constrained by censorship, overt or otherwise. For 1946 Passport To Pimlico was a far more enjoyable film.

NB this film, as well as getting the gongs for film, director, actor, supporting actor and director is the sixth most ticketed in British history and makes all sorts of ‘best of’ lists.

A good film, but it could have been so much better. We had to wait another 32 years for The Deer Hunter to illustrate the damage of war more vividly to the Academy"

Big Hero 6
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 3 February 2015

Starring: Ryan Potter with Scott Adsit, James Cromwell
Directors: Don Hall, Chris Williams

A beautiful picture in terms of the canvas, but kind of weird in it's exceedingly imaginative interpretation of how this particular world of San Fransokyo works. I feel like dropping it a notch, but the fact is, it was entertaining, especially the referencing within it, The Marvel aspect, the Ghibli influence, the strange American/Japanese juxtaposition within the entire mise en scène, I mean the bad guy in his mask was No-Face straight out of Spirited Away. Worth the watch for sure

Black Sea
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 10 December 2014

Starring: Jude Law with Scoot McNairey
Director: Kevin Macdonald

I suppose if you watched The Dirty Dozen, The Hunt For Red October and The Lavendar Hill Mob you could piece together this particular film. I hope I haven't given to much away. Very reasonable film in all departments, Jude Law is really good, my favourite performance of his. I did think it was going to be worth a tad more at first, but still it maintained my intrest throughout and delivered a couple of nice little angles to keep me awake. I would love to know what Andrew Kidd thinks of this. (He is my nephew and is an expert on submarines. Hang on a minute, I'm thinking of a couple of plot holes here... Nah, doesn't matter, it's a yarn.

The Butler
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 17 November 2013

Starring: Forest Whitakker

Great film for quiz buffs in that it gives a historical insight into a lot of the post-war American presidents. A tableau!

Calvary
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 31 March 2015

Starring: Brendan Gleeson with Chris O'Dowd, Kelly Reilly, Aidan Gillen, Dylan Moran, Isaach de Bankolé
Director: John Michael McDonagh

Didn't quite get the story here, I mean, there was this thread, but perhaps it deliberately left some of the profiling to ones imagination. Brendan Gleeson absolutely lights up a screen, and the host of support actors do not displease the eye. If I had seen this before Cuban Fury I might not have liked Chris O'Dowd's part, but now.. hey, he's OK. This is like Father Ted – The Dark Side and is worth watching for the whole look and feel of it, but it is kind of disquieting. That's why I spread it out over a couple of days

Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 30 March 2014

Starring: Chris Evans with Scarlett Johansen, Samuel L Jackson, Robert Redford, Jenny Augetter, Toby Jones, Stan Lee, Joe Russo
Director: Anthony Russo,

Face-booked this to Jon Buck:

Of the current batch at Cineworld there are a lot in the 7 or 8 out of 10 range, but this, along with the other action sequel 300 Rise of an Empire are both pleasant surprises in that the films are much better than the trailers might suggest and IMHO are better than their respective first instalments. Please don't expect anything too challenging but if you like films where (ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT) the protagonists beat the odds to kick some serious mother fekkin' ass neither one lets you down. Can't wait for Godzilla

Captive
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Wed 30 September 2015

Starring: David Oyewolo with Kate Mara, Michael K Williams
Director: Jerry Jameson

I didn't like the God bits, but apart from that it was a reasonable story well delivered. I found the ambiguity of Oyewolo's carachter quite intresting, and I enjoy watching Omar's ascent up the billing, but yes, the post end end was a little "what?"

Charlie Countryman
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 5 November 2014

Starring: Shia LaBeouf with Evan Rachel Wood, Mads Mikkelsen, Melissa Leo, Rupert Grint, James Buckley, Aubrey Plaza

For a few moments I thought this was going to be an 8 or 9. That it isn’t is more to my optimism than any fault of the film, which enjoyed with a cocked eyebrow on occasions. To take away is Shia LaBeouf who made this well over a year ago and for me genuinely comes of age as a full blown star who carries the film throughout. As impressive a lead role as I have seen this year. Considering I love music, a good soundtrack is like a good referee, you don’t tend to notice them, but this score, when I noticed it, was awesome. The picture was easy on the eye, and really seemed to impart that post communist Eastern European feel, reminding me of Serbia and Bulgaria. Now the films characters are kind of OK, but Jay (from the Inbetweeners ) and Ron Weasley seem to have wandered onto the wrong film set. The resolution of the film is (Spoiler alert!) just a little unsatisfying, and it’s a shame it didn’t settle into being a Sixth Sense meets Taken instead of being greedy and putting the Chuckle Brothers in the mix. Whatever, enjoyable all the same

Chef
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 22 April 2015

Starring: Jon Favreau with Sofía Vergara, John Leguizamo, Scarlett Johansson, Oliver Platt, Bobby Cannavale, Dustin Hoffman, Robert Downey Jr
Director: Jon Favreau

A feel-good film with a lame, predictably twee story, and somewhat idealistic views on human behaviour, nevertheless... I loved it. August Rush effect, I guess Jon Favreau's enthusiasm for the film (He wrote, directed and produced it as well) just pervades the movie, the love of food is infectious, the dialogue is snappy and the soundtrack most excellent. Grab a beer, get some nice food, snuggle up and watch this. But don't expect John Le Carré!

PS. I don't know how many favours Jon Favreau called in, but this is one hell of a cast.

Commando
1985 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 20 June 2015

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Director: Mark L. Lester

Forgot what happened, but I know I enjoyed it. A very good 7, with plenty of guns and ammo.

Cuban Fury
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 27 February 2014

Starring: Nick Frost with Rashida Jones, Olivia Colman, Ian McShane, Chris O'Dowd
Director: James Griffiths

Nick Frost is great! He was good in The World's End, and given this role without being Simon Pegg's foil is welcome. Chris O'Dowd is the largest knob-stick you could imagine (credit to the actor), the story is predictable, the music great, the characters stereotyped, and whatever, going to watch this at the cinema in a giggling audience was a most pleasant couple of hours. There are so many things you can criticise films on, but why bother. This works within its own universe, and Nick Frost is perfect for the role. Sufficiently affable, poignant, but, above all, believable. It'll be a shame when he gets a TV series in which he plays a hard-bitten, world-weary cop in some new town between Birmingham and London, one who plays by his own rules and has troubles at home.

Danny Collins
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 1 June 2015

Starring: Al Pacino with Annette Bening, Jennifer Garner, Bobby Cannavale, Christopher Plummer
Director: Dan Fogelman

So sue me when I go off on one here. John Lennon is overrated. This film has a soundtrack largely made up of post Beatles Lennon material, hell, I bought the albums, but the songs are just not great pop songs, more whingy folk, or nondescript rock. I'm not saying they are terrible, but John Lennon has never, since the Beatles, produced anything like as good as any amount of tracks from Band On The Run or Ram or My Brave Face, Live and Let Die, Mull Of Kintyre etc etc. If a fourteen year old kid went to his music teacher saying " sir, sir!! I've written this song.. " and gave him Imagine I am pretty sure it wouldn't end up in anybody's top thousand.

In this film, the monkey on Danny Collins' back is a version of Sweet Caroline and his finale is a variation on... Imagine. So, what I am trying to say is, for a music film, the tunes simply do not carry the punch.

Now.. having let rip on the score the rest of the film is a reasonable 100 minutes. Al Pacino is disarmingly charming, Annette Benning likewise easy on the eye, it is not totally unsatisfying. Wish it had been Judee Sill music though

Question: What made John Lennon great?

Answer: Paul McCartney

The Darjeeling Limited
2007 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 20 May 2015

Starring: Jason Schwartzman with Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Anjelica Huston, Waris Ahluwalia, Amara Karan, Natalie Portman, Bill Murray
Director: Wes Anderson

Well it's a Wes Anderson film, with the width, colour, camerawork, humour and human nature that is so typical of him. Given that he always uses the same cast, I suppose one could get a little blasé about these films. Most people like The Life Aquatic and The Royal Tennenbaums. I love Rushmoor. As usual the choice of music is largely wonderful, and each frame is a picture in itself. If you like Anderson, you will like this.

Delicatessen
2000 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 5 December 2014

Starring: Dominique Pinon with Marie-Laure Dougnac, Jean-Claude Dreyfus
Directors: Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Marc Caro

Once again Becca has lent me an Ultra-French film, which is very different from what I am used to. I wish I had watched this with somebody so we could explore the ideas behind it, when it was set, what did so and so mean. I can't remember it being subtitled, but it definitely was. Would I prefer to watch this than Gravity Yes I would

Devil's Knot
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 16 June 2014

Starring: Colin Firth with Reese Witherspoon
Director: Atom Egoyan

This was a well paced reflection on a true story. As with all these kinds of things it would be lovely to know the real true story, but this made a pretty convincing fist of it. (But that is what story tellers do... Having researched it a lot of people seem to agree about the thrust of this, which I will not repeat, 'cos that is what I don't do, as it were.

Donnie Brasco
1997 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 10 October 2015

Starring: Johnny Depp with Al Pacino. Michael Madsen, Bruno Kirby, James Russo, Anne Heche, Paul Giamatti
Director: Mike Newell

Straightforward mob v law movie, with some interesting carachters, great dialogue and reasonable (based on true) story. Why do the lawmen always come out as being the unloveable ones in these movies? Al pacino is really good in this.

Driving Miss Daisy
1988 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Morgan Freeman with Dan Aykroyd, Jessicca Tandy
Director: Bruce Beresford

More Hans Zimmer, more of a Antebellum tinted oil painting than a story

End Game
2006 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 29 March 2014

Starring: Cuba Gooding Jnr. with James Woods
Director: Andy Cheng

One of those straight to DVD action movies, very much in the vein of The Shooter. This might have rated higher if only I could have figured out what happened in the end. :(

Everest
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Wed 23 September 2015

Starring: Jason Clarke with Josh Brolin, John Hawkes, Robin Wright, Michael Kelly, Sam Worthington, Keira Knightley, Emily Watson, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Director: Baltasar Kormákur

I know I always compare films to Gravity, but it is a great benchmark, and fits the bill entirely here, in that we have a film that is very strong on the picture, and one can't complain about the actors. This edges it in that the scenery is as good or better, the story is a little more engaging, and it's kind of real life. It fails on some of the detail. Everest harder than K2? An Alpine Chough flying around at 18,000' ? Touching The Void set the benchmark for this kind of stuff at 4% of the budget

Flight
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 13 June 2015

Starring: Denzel Washington with Don Cheadle, Kelly Reilly, Bruce Greenwood, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, Piers Morgan
Director: Robert Zemeckis

A good film with some notable aspects, If you liked John Goodman in Lebowski, you will like him in this, and if you are a Denzel Washington fan, you will not be dissapointed. Whatever.

If anybody ever reads this who has watched the film, please contact me if you agree/disagree. SPOILER ALERT (a bit). If the portion of the film after the rough take-off and Denzel going to sleep, to it's landing was cut, and pasted at the end of the film, this could have been a more rewarding experience? Even more so with a little judicious editing??

Foxcatcher
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 15 January 2015

Starring: Channing Tatum with Steve Carell, Mark Ruffallo (n), Katie Holmes, Vanessa Redgrave
Director: Bennett Miller (n)

This would have made a terrific one hour documentary. The carachters are reasonable (Channing Tatum is a little bit like a lunky Keanu Reeves), Steve Carrell is very wierd, the story is worth watching through, but there was a little too much standing around looking moody to maintain the excitment. Definitely worth the watch, if only to pique the curiosity about the affair

Furious 7 aka Fast & Furious 7
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 23 April 2015

Starring: Vin Diesel with Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Kurt Russell, Jason Statham
Director: James Wan

A deep, thoughtful exploration of the existential conflict between the perceived nature of human existence and the reality of reality. An almost Derridesque thesis that dissects the relationships of humanity, focusing on the thought at not just the conscious and tangible, but the deep, primal level, casting the shadow of dichotomy onto our mores, our, loves, our lives.

P.S. It does what is says on the packet, it's fast, it's furious, and if you like this kind of thing you will love this. Seriously, the ending is wonderful.

The General
1926 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 16 September 2015

Starring: Buster Keaton with Marion Mack
Directors: Clyde Bruckman, Buster Keaton

This sets so many precedents on this page, in that it is the oldest film so far reviewed (by several years) and it is the only original silent one so far. That makes it difficult to judge, but funddamentally I have to ask myself, how much enjoyment did I get from it?

I saw it listed in a list of 100 great action movies, and as Machete from the same list was so brilliant, and that it might be a quiz question I gave it a shot. Was it a comedy or was it an action film? I think it was an early major Hollywood production trying to find out. Was the story good? Yes, it was OK. Compelling protagonist? Yes, I got a bit mixed up with the bit parts, but Keaton and his girl were easy to identify with. Was the action good? Yes, it actually was great, a little more slapstick than Kung Fu Hustle, nevertheless it had a wow factor, especially taken in context. The acting? Brilliant, in that these people had to convey words through actions (there were dialogue cards, but they were relatively few and far between), so the exagerrated motions really feed the imagination.

In addisition these old films always carry a nostalgia factor that perhaps adds to their enjoyment quotient, so this film turns out to be more enjoyable than say Entourage and any amount of reasonable cinema-fodder. Glad I watched it.

Just an afterthought: Is this film the victim of hype? Yes, I think so. On release it was slated and then forgotten about, then all of a sudden it becomes one of the best movies ever made, like somehow it has gone through a metamorphosis. It has been the same film all along, reasonably intresting, reasonably well made, and well acted. The Southern cause (i.e. slavery) was wrong. It didn't just become wrong in 1968, therefore it is difficult to root for a side which uses appeal to loyalty rather than logic as its battle cry. There is the wierd undercurrent of comedy which I do believe could have been left out. Anyhoo, it is not me who should be justifying my opinion, it should be the consegneti who appear to have gone through a Van Goughesque change of mind.

The Godfather Part II
1973 Mark: 7

Starring: Robert De Niro with Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton
Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Good, but not that good

Heat
1995 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 22 December 2014

Starring: Al Pacino with Robert DiNiro, Jon Voight, Val Kilmer, Danny Trejo, Tone Loc, Ashley Judd, Hank Azaria, Tom Sizemore, Bill Fitchner
Director: Michael Mann

A very good film with a stellar cast, if anything subsumed within the whole cops and robbers oeuvre to such an extent that three days and two films and half a bottle of gin after watching it I can't really remember that much about the story. I suppose I could easily watch it again and enjoy it. You have gotta like Al Pacino.

The Hobbit 3: The Battle of the Five Armies
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 12 December 2014

Starring: Martin Freeman with Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace, Luke Evans, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ken Stott, James Nesbitt, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Orlando Bloom
Director: Peter Jackson

The must see film for December 2014, it was merely OK, with good shit to watch but not a great story and the characters had already been developed, so ... I really think perhaps two or even one long film would have done for The Hobbit, I don't know if I would have felt differently if I hadn't read the book at least 10 times, and there is no two ways about it, Peter Jackson set the benchmark with Fellowship, but this trilogy just felt as if it were padded out. Game of Thrones gets the distillation of books about right, leaving one wishing for more, excited about the prospects. This doesn't.

The Hunger Games: 2 Catching Fire
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 25 November 2013

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence with Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Donald Sutherland, Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Director: Francis Lawrence

Made me want to read the third book to by-pass the two parter third instalment. Reasonable Lost meets The Hunger Games 1. It is better than the first, in that it works within its own universe whereas number one didn't make sense in any imagination I could comprehend

The Hunger Games: 3 Mockingjay Part 1
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 24 November 2014

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence with Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Donald Sutherland, Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Director: Francis Lawrence

Another notch up the scale. I reckon I never really enjoyed the constraints of the first two films once 'the Games' were on. In this third film there are no games therefore it becomes more difficult for the film makers just to invent shit, and, for me, this makes for a much more satisfying film. Do I detect the cast getting better as well, or is it just familiarity?? Now that I have adopted Jennifer Lawrence I realise that her Katniss mode kind of works, the action was good, the story meaty enough, the characters good, the music excellent and all in all it is a perfect set-up for the last instalment without being just that alone. I now officially want a Mockingjay badge.

The Infidel
2010 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 21 February 2015

Starring: Omid Djalili with Richard Schiff, Yigal Naor, Matt Lucas
Director: Josh Appignanesi

Great idea, or at least a cool variation of the Trading Places trope. Omid Djaliliilays a very becoming role which has fun with the concept, illustrates some obvious “what ifs” but somehow fails in the end, by justifying religion, rather than delivering the coup de grace which it could, and should, have done with ease. The end veers into the “oh really?” bracket (that is a negative criticism, BTW)

Inherent Vice
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 12 February 2015

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix with Josh Brolin, Owen Wilson, Katherine Waterston, Reese Witherspoon, Benicio del Toro, Jena Malone, Joanna Newsom, Martin Short
Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

I am not qualified to review this film, as I was late for it and nodded off several times. I don't think that was the fault of the film, as everything was engaging about it, but just lack of attention on my part, and a reasonably complex thread was not conducive to true appreciation. I will watch it again and am sure I will love it! I enjoyed what I saw, with a cool cast and great dialogue.

Interstellar
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 12 November 2014

Starring: Matthew McConaughey with Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, John Lithgow, Michael Caine, Matt Damon
Director: Christopher Nolan

I liked this. Yes, there were criticisms that might be levelled, but one gets your money's worth, on this three hour 'epic'. A catch-all 7, which surprised me 'cos I imagined that I would either love it or hate it, given the hoo ha that has pervaded the media about it. I do think that arty critics struggle with science films, and it did seem that opinion was very divided on it, nevertheless I am kind of ambivalent. It was a good yarn, well made and I would definitely say it was worth sharing the cost of a ticket on Orange Wednesday. Matt Damon does look like Mark Whalberg, especially in this film, for which I would put him in the mix for best support.

Iron Man 3
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 22 October 2014

Starring: Robert Downey Jnr with Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Jon Favreau, Ben Kingsley.
Director: Shane Black

These Marvel films do tend to merge and i forget actually how many points I should really give them. I certainly could not watch this kind of film at the expense of all others, nevertheless it is an entertaining night in, I suppose if I was deep into the cannon it may be quite challenging. You more or less know what to expect with these.

Jack Reacher
2012 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 1 August 2015

Starring: Tom Cruise with Rosamund Pike, Richard Jenkins, Werner Herzog, David Oyelowo, Jai Courtney, Robert Duvall
Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Once you have swallowed that Tom Cruise is six foot eight, hard as fuck and has perfect memory, this is quite an enjoyable film! Yeah, I must admit, one can get bored with fights and car chases, but … very solid 7

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 3 March 2014

Starring: Chris Pine with Kenneth Brannagh, Kevin Costner, Kiera Knightly
Director: Kenneth Brannagh

Reasonable action movie, everybody plays their parts and the goodies win. Who is the best Jack Ryan? Baldwin, though Chris Pine is perfectly good in this. Wish he had had a couple of flaws though.

Nonso Anozie plays the part of the heavy who attempts to assassinate Jack in his hotel room. Who the devil did he play that I recognise. Wiki wiki wik.... Ah, of course, Xaro Xhoan Daxos from Game Of Thrones. How TF did he escape?

James Bond 18; Tomorrow Never Dies
1997 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 4 March 2014

Starring: Piers Brosnan with Jonathan Pryce, Michelle Yeoh Teri Hatcher, Judi Dench
Director: Roger Spottisoode

How long has it taken me to watch this film? Well I'm glad I did. Don't expect anything but ridiculous innuendo and overtime for stuntmen as Piers defeats an absolutely potty English Megalomaniac super-villain who aims to further his ends in the most ridiculously inefficient, convoluted and entertaing way imaginable.

James Bond 23: Skyfall
2012 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 15 March 2014

Starring: Daniel Craig with Judy Dench, Javier Bardem
Director: Sam Mendes

Great start. The start is up there with great starts. But then... I've done something I've not done yet, and retain the option to alter this review, but I haven't finished watching the film yet. It's just got drawn out far too much in that middle third. Judy Dench and Token I find annoying, but I did like the new Q.

James Bond 24; Spectre
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 28 October 2015

Starring: Daniel Craig with "Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Dave Bautista, Monica Bellucci, Ralph Fiennes "
Director: Sam Mendes

These are so, so, much better than most of the earlier films, but they seem more a collection of magnificent set pieces than a coherent story. I definitely reckon Christoph Waltz was underutilised, almost seeming to parody himself. He is more convincing in Big Eyes where, as always, he essentially plays the same part. Worth the watch , but on review, for all their magnificence and huge budgets, neither of the the two films I saw today, this and Pan, were more enjoyable than Locke, which was Tom Hardy sat in a car

The Judge
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 20 October 2014

Starring: Robert Downey Jr with Robert Duvall (n), Billy Bob Thornton
Director: David Dobkin

Sometimes a little mushy, occasionaly funny with the odd surprise. Robert Downey Junior never seems quite serious enough, but Robert Duvall is awesome. Considering my penchant for daddy films I guess this is a low score, yet it was enjoyable enough. Nice Thomas Newman soundtrack, The story reasonable, and I can't stress how that Judge stole the show. Him or Dominic West for Best Supporting Actor

Jurassic World
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Thu 11 June 2015

Starring: Chris Pratt with Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins, Nick Robinson, Omar Sy, B. D. Wong,, Irrfan Khan
Director: Colin Trevorrow

The burning question is, how does this film stack up against 1, 2 and 3? At a rough guess (memory fades) precedence would go 1 (outstanding and original), 2 (funny), 4 and 3. Although a pleasant enough watch it doesn't really bring anything new to the table (My favourite aspect was the, still brilliant, musical motifs). Perhaps I am becoming inured to action movies, but this is all that is. The kids are quite annoying (weren't they always?) The dinosaurs are only as impressive as those from over two decades ago, and the owners of the island are every bit just as stupid. I enjoyed the film, but it did not make my life more complete. My daughter is in love with Chris Pratt, so I'll give him a tick. He is definitely an improvement on Sam Neill.

La Bamba
1987 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 14 May 2014

Starring: Lou Diamond Phillips with Joe Pantoliano, Marshall Crenshaw, Brian Setzer
Director: David Gordon Green

L learned somethings from this film regarding the history of popular music, I enjoyed the music, and although the interpersonal relationshios were a little sludgy all in all I would not mind watching a film like this every day

Last Vegas
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 13 January 2013

Starring: Kevin Klein with Mary Steenburgen, Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman

I was not particularly looking forward to this, but after a while I cracked and was well glad. I mean, who wants to see for old actors resting on their laurels? The thing is though, although you will not want for gags, in a way their was some restraint, especially Robert DiNero who was pretty grumpy throughout, which, after The Family and a string of 'comedic' performances was more like it. Enough of the film came out as being believable to tip the balance in it's favour. Pretty solid seven which makes it a great trip to the cinema and well worth recording in two years time.
I think the clincher was using September by Earth Wind and Fire during the film and over the end credits. Night at The Museum, The Ringer.. That is three out of three genuine feel good films that use this superb track to capture their objective
Oh, and guys, if you are reading this I put Kev in the lead actor role because I just did. Apologies, Mike, Morgan and Bob.

The Lavender Hill Mob
1951 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 14 January 2014

Starring: Alec Guinness with Stanley Holloway, Sid James, Alfie Bass, Audrey Hepburn!, Robert Shaw!

Ealing comedy. Thoroughly enjoyable, Interesting, funny stereotypes, reasonable story, very dated, but hell, what is there not to like about it? Alec Guiness is a good actor

The Legend Of Bagger Vance
2000 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 5 December 2014

Starring: Will Smith with Matt Damon, Charlize Theron, Jack Lemmon, Bruce McGill, Lane Smith, Joel Getch
Director: Robert Redford

This film had its moments, but was embarrassingly Schmaltzy (Can't spell that word), weird in terms of its own continuity, From the sun being above the horizon to being pitch dark in the space of one golf hole, and didn't really have a message, other than golf is a great game. But golf is a game which people love anyway, and you don't need a magic nigger. I liked all the actors, the scenery and music (bar Will Smith who just never seems to do it for me). Robert Redford should do the film of the Menlo 8.

Let's Be Cops
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 1 September 2014

Starring: Jake Johnson with Damon Wayans Jr, Nina Dobrev, James D'Arcy, Andy García, Jon Lajoie
Director: Luke Greenfield

Rock solid comedy/action, with a good premise well executed. Jon Lajoile as Todd? Who was that? Ah yes, the bloke who I initially thought was Adam Scott, playing very much the same role. It'll be intresting to see how other peole regard this, I think it would be easy to get snotty about it, perhaps I have? Happy endings n all. Not challenging but does what it says on the packet.

Life After Beth
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 6 October 2014

Starring: Aubrey Plaza with Dane DeHaan, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon
Director: Jeff Baena

Zombie films make better comedies than Zombie films, and this is a case in point. It trundles along with enough comedy, titilation and make up to maintain the intrest, Dane DeHaan is really the lead in this, and it is just unpredictable enough to keep the film fresh.

Long Way Down, A
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 2 April 2014

Starring: Peirce Brosnan with Imogen Poots, Rosamund Pike, Sam Neill. Toni Colette

Nothing wrong with watching this on an afternoon suckin' a Doctor Peppers. Aaron Paul kind of steps up for this, so all in all it was a reasonable entertaining watch. Brosnan actually puts in an annoyingly good performance. Watch it and think about it and the part he is playing. Even Sam Neill comes out smelling of roses. Imogen Poots along with Paul redeems herself after Need For Speed - yeah – that'll do!

Looper
2012 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 20 April 2014

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, with Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt.
Director: Rian Johnson

This makes me want to go and watch Memento and Inception again. Good film, solid story and concept, solid performances all round.

Lucky Number Sleven
2006 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 19 February 2014

Starring: Josh Hartnett with Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, Stanley Tucci, Ben Kingsley

Seven it is! Yeah! Good film, great cast, good story decent carachters. Bruce Willis has done a lot of fucking ace films!

Maleficent
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 9 June 2014

Starring: Angelina Jolie with Sharlto Copley, Elle Fanning, Sam Riley, Imelda Staunton
Director: Robert Stromberg

This turned out to be better than I thought it would be. Ther best recent retake on a tale is Mirror Mirror, yet this came out with genuine credit

The Man
2005 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 20 February 2014

Starring: Samuel L Jackson with Eugene Levy

You know, somethimes there is nothing wrong with Samuel L Jackson just being given a platform to be Samuel L Jackson (though AFAIK he didn't say 'motherfucker' once.) I should really write more about the plots to remind me in future; basically an out of town dental product salesman gets mixed up with crime in Detroit with hilarious consequenses. Luke Goss is a very good, very typical Anglo- villain but, maybe it just caught me in a good mood, Eugene Levy is just superb, every nuance, subtle carachter change. I doubt this was up for awards at The Venice Film Festival, but it is a long long time since I laughed at a fart scene, but this film carries it!! It is only snobbishness which stops me giving it 7.5.

I am sooo glad I wrote my review first. This is what it says on Wikipedia

The Man was blasted by critics, many of whom shared the opinion that the plot was pointless and its jokes rehashed. Review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes currently reports that the film holds a score of 11% based on 100 reviews.For his two 2005 performances in The Man and Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Eugene Levy received a Razzie nomination for Worst Supporting Actor

In retrospect, my point is that he (Levy) is meant to be like he is, the script was meant to be cartoon carachters with Tom and Jerry viloence and gags. And definitely not a pointless plot. And every gag is rehashed. Faggots.

Nelson Mendela; Long Walk To Freedom
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 20 January 2014

Starring: Idris Elba

Fascinating story, you almost think they could have made a three parter. With Invictus being the last instalment

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Sun 6 September 2015

Starring: Thomas Mann with Olivia Cooke
Directors Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

I thought it might be Fault In Our Stars y. It damn well was, what a terrible double header that would be. Having said that things generally worked in this film, Thomas Mann seemed like a young deadpan Bill Murray, and though quirky in the extreme, I felt generally more invested in it as it went along. I'm going to write this down now and see if I've said it already. Olivia Cooke is from Oldham! (No I haven't; she was in that horror film Ouija

Micmacs
2009 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 9 December 2014

Starring: Dany Boon with Dominique Pinon
Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Another lend from Rebecca, another monochromy French film watched with subtitles. These films I am watching from her have very simialar ensembles of very quirky carachters doing insane shit. Apart from being a companion to Delicatessen I reckon it would make a decent triple with Blood Diamond and the magnificent Lord Of War In the context of looking at corruption and exploitation between the west and the rest

Midnight Cowboy
1968 Mark: 7

Starring: Dustin Hoffman with Jon Voight
Director: John Schlesinger

I could be persuaded to watch this again to up its rating

Minions
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 10 June 2015

Starring: Sandra Bullock with Chris Renaud, Pierre Coffin
Director: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin

Sorry fans, but I never quite got on with Despicable Me (Russell Brand gets on my tits), Whatever, given my reticence, this turned out OK for me, with arguably the best animated rendering of real places that I can remember seeing since Shaun The Sheep, if not eva. It kind of has that family friendly irreverance that provides an edge, albiet not dangerously sharp, but if you are looking for mayhem in London, check out Paddington first

Mission: Impossible 5: Rogue Nation
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Fri 31 July 2015

Starring: Tom Cruise with Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin
Director: Christopher McQuarrie

This is actually a spoof of the series, Simon Pegg is exactly what you would expect, like a Chuckle Brother, despite which, this is a film that is quite a reasonable add to the watch list. Go and watch Spy, or especially Kingsman for a better version of this kind of thing, but don't write this off because of the excellence of them.

The Monuments Men
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 16 February 2014

Starring: George Clooney with Kate Blanchet, John Goodman, Jean Du Jardin, Matt Damon
Director: George Clooney

Falling almost into the bracket of 'good for quiz purposes', This provides a fascinating look at the choices we face in war time, and the values we place on things on life in general. Definite moist eye moment in the hospital, all star cast, like Last Vegas, except its not in Las Vegas and they are getting shot at and the actors are 25 years younger (at least) and just about everything else. For some reason I found it hard to grade this film, but we'll stick at a tenous 7, for a film which maintained the interest and informed

Mrs. Brown's Boys D'movie
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 14 July 2014

Starring: Brendan O'Connell
Director: Ben Kellett

There was something quite refreshing about this. £3 million budget, critically rejected, 9 mil at the box-office so far, a little self conscious, nevertheless, funny, endearing, with an ability to retain investment the longer it went on. There was a Wilhelm scream on the bridge, but that is a good thing. There was a barrister with tourretes, I think more in a fishing for laughs rather than an homage to Not Another Teen Movie which failed a little, nevertheless the breaking of the fourth wall varied from expected to genuinely becoming. A caper, not quite in the league of The Parole Officer yet one which provided a nice evening at the flicks, and an antidote to Transformers 4 which ran a little too long

Mud
2012 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 26 October 2015

Starring: Matthew McConaughey with Tye Sheridan, Reese Witherspoon, Jacob Lofland, Sam Shepard, Ray McKinnon, Sarah Paulson, Michael Shannon, Joe Don Baker, Paul Sparks
Director: Jeff Nichols

A very very solid seven, i.e. It was not weighed down by any expectation, therefore having taped it from film four, it provided an entertaining night in. All aspects of the film were spot on, it is a reflection on how good modern films generally are. Two members of the Boardwalk Empire cast were there, and all cast members have a degree of backstory. I know it doesn't make any difference to the value of the film, but it has some fascination!

Not Another Teen Movie
2001 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 10 July 2014

Starring: Chris Evans with Chyler Leigh, Jaime Pressly, Paul Gleason
Director: Joel Gallen

I couldn't help but get sucked into this relentless barage of grossness and (deliberate) cliché. I guess it needed doing, even if most teen movies parody themselves anyway. I feel really guilty but it was more or less thoroughly entertaining with some real LOL moments. Now I've marked and reviewed it I am keen to see what the critics have to say...

Olympus Has Fallen
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 11 April 2014

Starring: Gerard Butler with Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Ashley Judd, Melissa Leo
Director: Antoine Fuqua

This is, given that it could have been terrible, frikkin' awesome! An entry into my top 100 quotes: .Mike Banning (ie Gerard Butler) to Kang "Why don't you and I play a game of fuck off. You go first...."

Pacific Rim
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 6 June 2014

Starring: Charlie Hunnam with Idris Elba, Ron Perlman
Director: Guilermo Del Toro

Monster movie. A no-holds barred, no laws of science sacrosant, big tableau, loud noises, heroes and villains, colourful, mother-fucker of a MONSTER movie..... I'm not sure if the Top Gun triumphalism in parts wasn't totally toungue in cheek, I reckon if I'd have been a kid I might have absolutely loved this. Both this and Godzilla turned out in some ways better than I expected, if not quite carrying the satisfaction of intrigue or surprise within the story. I've said something like this before, but if they do a crossover film between them... Wow!

I suppose this could apply to most films, but watch it on the biggest screen you can.

Paul
2011 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 23 November 2014

Starring: Seth Rogen with Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Blythe Danner, David Koechner, Sigourney Weaver, Jeffrey Tambor
Director: Greg Mottola

There is little to fault about films like this, good to see Jeffrey Tambor and Jaseon Bateman from Arrested Development in the same film, Nick Frost and Simon pegg do precisely what they always do, Paul, an alien, was as convincing a bit of CGI / Stop Motion / whatever that I have seen so far, and Kristen Wiig was really funny! (I thought she was Amy Adams). I love movies.

Rebecca
1940 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 16 August 2015

Starring: Laurence Olivier with Joan Fontaine, Judith Anderson, George Sanders, Leo G Carroll, C. Aubrey Smith
Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Quite a jolly film that maintained my attention all the way through, kind of glad I could wallow in it alone, it has that stiff upper lipness about it, exaggerated theatre, it really is quite becoming. Joan Fonteyn is a peach.

Robin Hood
2010 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 31 January 2014

Starring: Russell Crowe with Cate Blanchett, Oscar Isaac, Mark Strong
Director: Ridley Scott

Pleasantly good. a very different take on The Robin Hood Story, very thin on history, Russell Crowe's accent is quite as unusual as people have warned, nevertheless it was a pretty solid watch. They should really make a sequel. In fact this film was only the prequel; I would willingly pay to see the follow-up.

The Royal Tenenbaums
2001 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 14 January 2015

Starring: Gene Hackman with Anjelica Huston, Bill Murray, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Danny Glover
Director: Wes Anderson

Worth a watch for the cast alone. I love watching Wes Anderson Films, but sometimes I feel like I am missing something, that they are a platform for beautifully fully saturated cinematagrophy and marvellously quirky carachters rather than a story. Oh come on though, it was fun to watch, I especially liked Gwyneth Paltrow and Gene Hackman

San Andreas
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 29 May 2015

Starring: Dwayne Johnson with Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Art Parkinson, Paul Giamatti.
Director: Brad Peyton

OK, let's put this out there. This is no Being John Malkovich. I think you can just about guess what you are going to get when you get your ticket torn with this one, so you have a cast which read the script and look suitably excited/stressed/determined/moody and a story which could be described is a short sentence and a chief protagonist who's jaw dropping dereliction of duty is exceeded only by the spectacular special effects. And there is the redeeming factor. I would seriously consider this to be the most impressive quality I have seen for a film of this genre. I just might be persuaded to go back and watch it in 3d and/or Imax. Perhaps it caught me in a good mood, but it is one of those rare films which I consider well worth the watch just because of the picture itself. There, I've said it.

's up for Art Parkison (Rickon Stark) who provides some half decent humour and steals most of his scenes

Shooter
2007 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 26 February 2014

Starring: Mark Whalberg with Kate Mara, Michael Peña, Danny Glover, Ned Beatty
Director: Antoine Fuqua

I keep forgetting that 7 is “Not bad at all – Good film”. I suppose this should start with an “An enjoyable enough romp...” Am I struggling to describe the qualities of this film? -Yes! There's guns, and dick-heads and explosions and triumph against the odds. I suppose it is the kind of perfect film to watch with a couple of large G&T's in that if the alcohol combines with senility to diminish memory of such things I am pretty sure you will not have forgotton anything critical. As a noveau Whalbergian I appreciate the artistic sensibilities of this movie. Those who like this would also like The Expendables, Die Hard.... etc. P.S. Is Ned Beatty A ringer for John Heard (Govenor Tancredi in Prison Break )

PPS. “Some film critics, both liberal and conservative, saw the film as left-leaning in its politics, arguing that the main villain (Senator Meachum) was a clear analogy for Dick Cheney”

Shutter Island
2010 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 16 November 2014

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio with Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max von Sydow, Michelle Williams, Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson
Director: Martin Scorsese

There is a third aspect of a good story that I don't mention (I am always banging on about how important plot and characters are), and that is surprise, so for example, The Sixth Sense gets a massive boost up once it has concluded. Likewise this beautifully filmed thriller is resolved most excellently, and, in retrospect, fairly unambiguously. I reckon it is worth watching just so you can discuss it!

One may need to try to maintain attention during periods of this film if, like me, you watch it at bed time

Snow White And The Huntsman
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 3 May 2015

Starring: Kristen Stewart with Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Sam Claflin, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Toby Jones, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost
Director: Rupert Sanders

I liked this more than I thought I would, it just wasn't as much fun as Mirror Mirror nevertheless it was still a good watch. If you look at the cast, I only recognised Chris hemsworth, the dwarves... like what a line up of stars (Oh I recognised Toby Jones as well. What really cheesed me off that I failed to recognise Marlooe beach, our favourite place in Pembrokeshire!

Solace
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Thu 1 October 2015

Starring: Abbie Cornish with Anthony Hopkins, Colin Farrell
Director: Alfonso Poyart

I was warned that the ending was flagged up miles before it happened. I missed it, consequently was engaged by a film that was visually very competent, a cast that I felt I knew on a personal level, and an original (at least for me), slightly, but engagingly, fantastical story arc that propelled me another two hours closer to my death, but pleasantly so! Hopkins was a slightly straighter version of Hannibal, Colin Farrell had a quite an amazing part, leaving you thinking, was he bad, or was he good? Well I liked it anyway

Southpaw
2015 Mark: 7 Watched Fri 31 July 2015

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal with Forest Whitaker, Rachel McAdams, Naomie Harris, Victor Ortiz, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Miguel Gomez, Oona Laurence, Rita Ora
Director: Antoine Fuqua

In the prices list for the 2015 Oscar, it will not win. Not to say it's not a well made film that tells an engaging tale, just that it will not win. If you had to describe an arc of a boxing film between sips of beer, you could quite easily have come out with this.

Spooks: The Greater Good
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 14 May 2015

Starring: Kit Hartington with Peter Firth, Jennifer Ehle, Elyes Gabel, Tuppence Middleton
Director: Bharat Nalluri

John Snow is really making a name for himself. A reasonable watch, I enjoyed it, a notch above James Bond and a notch below John Le Carré in terms of the seriousness of the contents. Dare I say it seemed a little too PC, apart from the Arabs (who we know are all bad guys). Actually, when I think about it, the criminal mastermind had some good qualities.

Sweet Sixteen
2002 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 4 May 2015

Starring: Martin Compston with William Ruane
Director: Ken Loach

It's grim up North. Lacking the feelgood factor which we have enjoyed in The Angel's Share and Looking For Eric this has the odd flash of humour and the usual exquisitely regional dialogue, but is altogether a deal bleaker, hence the lower rating. It is not a worse film, it is just a more uncomfortable one. It won the Screenplay award at Cannes and only grossed just over £300,000.

Taken
2008 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 13 August 2014

Starring: Liam Neeson with Maggie Grace, Holly Valance
Director: Pierre Morel

Scores marginally more than Driven to Kill and 3 Days to Kill because of Liam Neeson, yet it is pretty much the same story, just ropey enough to not convince me that it is a real world, nevertheless if 1400 kids in Rotherham can be trafficked (how do you spell that world), I guess this might have some credibility

Taken 3
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 12 January 2015

Starring: Liam Neeson with Maggie Grace, Forest Whitaker
Director: Olivier Megaton

Crazy fun from Liam Neeson. The plot devices used during this film are incredibly impossible, nevertheless, it is fun to watch. I am sure the scriptwriters must have sat round a table and thrown out any ideas that were feasable in terms of rational actions on the part of the carachters, just watch it and you will see what I mean. Whatever next? Cop eatin' a donut?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 23 October 2014

Starring: Megan Fox with Bill Fitchner, Will Arnett. Johnny Knoxville, Whoopie Goldberg Jonathan Liebesman

Great first half hour and Bill Fitchner (playing Bill Fitchner) tops of an awesome cast. The last hour is exactly what you would expect from Michael Bey, and so when you nod off you probably don't leave yourself many unanswerd questions. What I want to muse upon is the addition of value to a film by 'stars' i.e. I've mentioned Fitchner, but as I am currently watching Arrested Development I really enyoyed watching Will Arnett. Jonny Knoxvilles voice was amusing, Whoopie Goldberg. I guess I am a sucker for familiarity. Stupid humans!

The Terminator
1984 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 4 July 2015

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger with Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton
Director: James Cameron

A must-watch film, elevated in public perception way way beyond its original budget. Linda Hamilton sucks a bit, and Arnie delivers his almost defining role. A thought provoking concept, a little gratuitous at times, the science is definitely stretchy, but what the hell, why not?

Tomorrowland
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Fri 22 May 2015

Starring: Britt Robertson with George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Raffey Cassidy, Tim McGraw
Director: Brad Bird

Sitting writing about this and I want to mark it up, nevertheless I'll leave it at the 7 I gave it three quarters of the way through, in that it was cram full of stunning scenes and action, and an absolutely brilliant speech from Hugh Laurie, when the girl looked up from designing cars at the end it kind of exposed it as the cop out it was. SPOILER ALERT, the film is based on the premise that if you are optimistic everything will be peachy. That is a complete non sequiteur

Transformers 4: Age Of Extinction
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 14 July 2014

Starring: Mark Whalberg with Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Peter Cullen, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe
Director: Michael Bay

This might have been better with 30 minutes of editing. It was enjoyable, the cast, were great and/or hot (Whalberg most excellent, Tucci goes from strength to strength), the cinematography and music outstanding. It did roll on for a long time though. Definitely worth the watch, but go to the bog before it starts.

Tremors
1990 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 30 January 2014

Starring: Kevin Bacon with Ariana Richards, Fred Ward

Hilarious. Very toungue in cheek monster movie, Ridiculous concept, ham, acting, cheesy dialogue. 98% on Rotten Tomatos!!! WTF?

Troll Hunter
2011 Mark: 7
Watched: Mon 3 August 2015

Starring: Otto Jespersen
Director: André Øvreda

Quirky. As me Julia pointed out Otto Jespersen (Hans the trollhunter) should be employed in every single Hollywood blockbuster henceforth, as your go to Scandinavian. The 'kids' in the film kind of got on my nerves because a) The lad looked and acted like Ant McPartland and b) The girl did nothing but make stupid faces at the camera. CGI now has to be very impressive to impress. It is comedic without being a laugh a minute and I think perhaps I was nervous watching it with a large group to let myself get lost in it. Whatever, for fans of Scandinavian horror/comic/mocumentary it is a must-see.

Where the hell have I seen the beginning of this film before?

The Truman Show
1998 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 12 July 2011

Starring: Jim Carrey with Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich, Ed Harris, Natascha McElhone
Director: Peter Weir

A fresh watch even though I have seen it before. I really feel uncomfortable with universes that behave irrationally given their context, I mean a story teller can create the stage he wants, why does he have to make it go off at a tangent to itself? For example, the outside of the set for The Truman Show was shown in Hollywood. Why did they just not build it in Florida on the coast where the film was filmed and where you can have sea and islands. Are you telling me they kept a nuclear power station set on standby for thirty years on the off chance that he might just kidnap his wife and force her to drive over a bridge? It didn't have to be that way.

Ed Harris was brilliant as homo-artistic-malevolant Christophe and was it the Philip Glass part of the score which was outstanding or was it the other guy's? Was the concept believable? - yes, I am pretty sure that Space Cadets indicated that you could pick people who would suspend any amount of disbelief for any amount of time.

Unbreakable
2000 Mark: 7
Watched: Thu 10 September 2015

Starring: Bruce Willis with Samuel L. Jackson, Robin Wright, Charlayne Woodard, M. Night Shyamalan, Michael Kelly
Director: M. Night Shyamalan

I watched this om the advisement of Mark Laycock, after dissing The Visit True to form it slots in to the Shyalaman timeline, in that it is not quite up there with The Sixth Sense, but definitely trumps Signs. The trouble is KIND OF SPOILER ALERT, the moment you know it is Shyalaman, you are looking for the twist. My wish is that he does a film but keeps his name under wraps, and that he actually abandons ideas of making another masterpiece and builds a story for its own sake, not just for the denoument. Look.. this is a good film, but it is not In Bruges

Under Siege 1
1992 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Steven Segal with Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Colm Meaney

Look.. It's only a film. With guns, and explosions and macho one liners.

Under Siege 2 – Dark Territory
1995 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 14 January 2014

Starring: Steven Segal with Katherine Heigl

Look.. It's only a film. With guns, and explosions and macho one liners.

Unfriended
2015 Mark: 7
Watched: Sat 2 May 2015

Starring: Shelley Hennig
Director: Levan Gabriadze

SPOILER ALERT: five or six American teens get embroiled in spooky shit, but instead of running away ASAP, they get dragged in, with frightening consequences. The thing is with this it is very originally and cleverly done, and maintains the interest for the short running time of less than 90 minutes (Watch it, you will see what I mean). Good story, good cast, good concept, the most original horror film since Blair Witch

The Way Back
2010 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 15 April 2014

Starring: Jim Sturgess with Ed Harris, Colin Farrell, Mark Strong
Director: Peter Wier

Reasonable watch/ Colin Farrell and Mark Strong are unexpected, Ed Harris is awesome. Good scenery massive variety, blah blah blah

The Way We Were
1973 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 31 May 2015

Starring: Barbra Striesand with Robert Redford, James Woods
Director: Sydney Pollack

I thought it was going to be a lot worse than it was. The Oscar winning tune was overplayed, without a doubt, I can't make my mind up if I love or loathe Robert Redford and Barbra Striesand certainly is not the orthodox starlet, yet, I could not help having empathy with her part. It is tough to sit through films like this when you have the box set of House Of Cards to wade through, but it certainly wasn't a wasted evening. They could have gone further with the politics

West Side Story
1960 Mark: 7

Starring: Natalie Wood with Richard Beymer, Russ Tamblyn, Rita Moreno, George Chakiris
Director: Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins

This could be the best soundtrack ever, nevertheless it is a stage show and the film comes across as such

What We Did On Our Holiday
2014 Mark: 7
Watched: Wed 1 October 2014

Starring: Rosamund Pike with David Tennant, Billy Connolly, Ben Crosby, Amelia Bullmore
Director: Andy Hamilton, Guy Jenkin

As this film wore on, and as time has elapsed in the last 12 hours or so since I saw it, this kind of got quite bearable. The children manged to wear down one's resistance, the humour although hovering on the borderline of cringe managed to stay for the majority of the film as digestable, the carachters were just believable enough and although I could fully understand anybody criticising this film as being sanctimoniously twee, on a personal level I enjoyed it, and given these provisos would recommend it to a friend. Hilarious take on newspapers. Good one!

The World's End
2013 Mark: 7
Watched: Tue 25 February 2014

Starring: Simon Pegg with Rosamund Pike, Nick Frost, Paddy Consadine, Piers Brosnan, Bill Nighy, David Bradley
Director: Edgar Wright

Like the characters in the film I had a few, resulting in a giggling empathy, and eventually a turn-off and save the rest for the morning, as it were. So I thoroughly enjoyed it but was left uncomfortably unsatisfied, you see, Gary was a dick, a loser, and it is not a dick or a loser that is going to save the world in any size, shape or form.

Can't wait to look up the references and what other films that girl was in. (Rosamund Pike, Die another Day, Made In Dagenham, Jack Reacher

I don't want to sound like a dick or a tosser, but Nick Frost is awesome in this

Stoker
2013 Mark: 7.1
Watched: Sat 7 November 2015

Starring: Mia Wasikowska with Matthew Goode, Nicole Kidman, Alden Ehrenreich
Director:

What a nice follow up to Crimson Peak with Mia Wasikowska and Matthew Goode being in super fine wierd form, with Nicole Kidman pitching the neurotic bit acca-awesomely. The kind of film I am sure I am beginning to like more after the 24 hours has elapsed. I wonder if it is 'cos I want to be accepted by the Goth Kids? I can cope with films like this on an evening. Nothing to do with Dracula!

Pride & Prejudice
2005 Mark: 7.2
Watched: Thu 15 October 2015

Starring: Kiera Knightley with Matthew Macfadyen, Brenda Blethyn, Donald Sutherland, Tom Hollander, Rosamund Pike, Carey Mulligan, Judi Dench, Rupert Friend
Director: Joe Wright

I gave up resisting after perhaps 45 minutes and started enjoying this girly costume fest. I wasn't really comfortable with the treatment of the vicar, but on the plus side the normally slightly anoyingly languid Donald Sutherland was super. I am going through a phase of seeing actors in Pairs of films, this time it was Carey Mulligan straight aftere Suffragette.

Pan
2015 Mark: 7.3
Watched: Wed 28 October 2015

Starring: Hugh Jackman with Levi Miller, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara, Amanda Seyfried, Nonso Anozie, Cara Delevingne
Director: Joe Wright

I like this less now than I did when I saw it. I expected worse, it could have been much better. In terms of imagination it was terrific, Rooney Mara sufficed, Hugh Jackman could not outhook Dustin Hoffman, the story was reasonable and imaginative, the cinematography was absolutely magnificent and I enjoyed it. The trouble is, Hook casts a long shadow over the Peter Panstory. I think it may have been set up for a sequel, as there were no Lost Boys, no Darling family, no Nana and no Rufio, Rufio, Ruf-ee-oooo. Singing Smells like the Teen Spirit? Moulin Rouge did it already.

It has been set up to prequel Hook, as though Peter was just out of the age range to become Peter Banning in London, Julia pointed out that in Neverland he does not grow up. Call.

Crimson Peak
2015 Mark: 7.4
Watched: Thu 29 October 2015

Starring: Mia Wasikowska with Tom Hiddleston, Jessica Chastain, Charlie Hunnam, Jim Beaver
Director: Guillermo del Toro

Wow! This is pretty full on as Gothic horror/romance gets. It's shear, unashamed and absolutely relentless in its total embracing of the genre, and because of that, it can be forgiven many sins. Tom Hiddleston was absolutely perfect, the sets, especially the indoor ones were awesome, the horror was scary, all in all it was quite a spectacle. I would almost call it comedy horror. Don't expect any connection between the horror and the plot, but sit back and enjoy nevertheless. Jessica Chastain. Bad bitch!

3:10 To Yuma
2007 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Russell Crowe with Christian Bale
Director: James Mangold

I reckon you could put those two in a film and it'd always work. Usual story, quiet farmer gets a bad draw, finds redemption.

'71
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 20 October 2014

Starring: Jack O'Connell with Sean Harris, David Wilmot, Richard Dormer
Director: Yann Demange

Jack O'Connell has the highest average this year. This is dark, incredibly tense, frustrating (It is meant to be) straight out of the school of Red Riding It is a refreshing take on the troubles which shows incredible bravery and kindness on all sides (bar the RUC), but the incredible malaise of allowing bad men to do bad things. If I was judging on other factors bar personal enjoyment this would score very highly. I don't think O'Connell could ever survive another film!

An American In Paris
1951 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 27 February 2015

Starring: Gene Kelly with Leslie Caron, Oscar Levant, Georges Guétary, Nina Foch
Director: Vincente Minnelli

"It's not much of a story. If it had a story half as good as The Legend Of Hercules it would be a 10! But it hasn't. That's the negative stuff out of the way. Every other aspect of this film is magnificent, the dialogue, the actors, the music, and especially the dancing. Gene Kelly was a genius, no two ways about it, and I was watching this open mouthed with a smile and thinking “This is the great grandfather of Birdman ”; that is to say, just like Singing In The Rain the takes are really long, and must demand amazing timing and accuracy, the whole ensemble and crew being part of an intricate dance. Even ballet is watchable in this.

To be truthful it is an exercise in filmed theatre, rather than a film story, but the quality of the ingredients make it so well worth the watch. It would have been an eight but I had OD'd on the final routine!

NB, although the soundtrack is absolutely classic (largely the Gershwins') It is, nevertheless derivative, in that the original music had been composed over 20 years previously"

Angel-A
2005 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Tue 25 November 2014

Starring: Jamel Debbouze with Rie Rasmussen
Director: Luc Besson

It's black and white and it's French. Now normally that would be a negative but, not wishing to sound too pretentious here, they both are vital to the atmosphere of this movie. The cinematography is starkly evocative, the dialogue perfectly sensually Gallic. It just could not be the same in English. (The subtitles bale you out). I have never seen such a beautiful film in terms of its treatment of sexuality. I would liken it to that feeling you get when you want to sleep with someone so much that you are genuinely not concerned about nailing them. I can really identify with Andre, and the comedy is so laid back as sometimes you don't notice it (I think, but I didn't notice it!!). BIG SPOILER ALERT Please don't read this if you haven't seen it. When Angela came out of the water at the end of the film I just wish she would have said "Je suis Catherine, qui la baise êtes-vous?"

Armageddon
1998 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 3 March 2013

Starring: Bruce Willis with Ben Affleck, Peter Stormare, William Fitchner, Steve Buscimi, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, Jason Isaacs, Michael Clarke Duncan
Director: Michael Bay

Didn't give it a rating at the time, but as I remember it was highly entertaining

Belle
2013 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 27 June 2014

Starring: Gugu Mbatha-Raw with Tom Wilkinson, Miranda Richardson, Penelope Wilton, Sam Reid, Matthew Goode, Emily Watson, Sarah Gadon, Tom Felton, James Norton
Director: Amma Asante

Entertaining, cool film. This was really teetering on the 8 for me, just a couple of little things (The hair combing and other little incidents). From a historical aspect it was thought provoking, and in terms of a love story it was terrific. Why anybody would ever want to watch Wanking On Sunshine when this is on next door I could not imagine, unless of course they do not enjoy being challenged at all. I didn't only just enjoy this more, but as an exposition of human nature this came out better than 12 Years A Slave, in that there was the ambiguity within all the characters that was more polarised by Steve McQueen (I re-iterate, 12 years was still a good film)

Tom Wilkinson gets my first nomination for best actor 2014 (though I may have to check back)

Big Game
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 14 May 2015

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson with Onni Tommila, Felicity Huffman, Victor Garber, Ted Levine, Jim Broadbent, Ray Stevenson
Director: Jalmari Helander

A 2015 release in the UK, this is 51st State meets Olympus Has Fallen at The Edge with hilarious consequences. There was one portion of the film when, sat alone in a small theatre, I began to corpse with uncontrollable laughter, I mean it was just barmy, shot through with absolute plot holes, but you know what? IT DIDN'T MATTER! It was fun and Finnish, and I think it gave a flavour of that nation's attitudes, after all, they gave us 100 different genres of metal, they must have some tongues in cheek over there? One to watch on telly with a friend and some beer for def.

NB The film's budget was €8.5 million, making it the most expensive ever produced in Finland"

The Boxtrolls
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 14 September 2014

Starring: Elle Fanning with Isaac Hempstead-Wright, Ben Kingsley, Toni Collette, Jared Harris, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Richard Ayoade, Tracy Morgan
Director: Graham Annable, Anthony Stacchi

This was a magnificent piece of animation, like Julia said, every single stop motion frame is a labour of true love and great art. How can people really identify with this film, as it's main thrust is what dicks gen pops can be in the face of ismisms, yet AFAIK most people are like that. If they all agree somethings bad, somethings bad, and no amount of evidence will change that paradigm. Change must come through the barrel of a gun?. Loved the end credits...

Cape Fear
1991 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 4 October 2015

Starring: Robert De Niro with Martin Balsam, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliet Lewis, Grgory Peck, Robert Mitchum
Director: Martin Scorsese

Despite the label Ultra-violent psycholgical thriller beeing quite apt, their was a constant undercurrent of brutal humour that made this as appealing as Itchy and Scratchy at their goriest. Was this De Niro at his peak? One day I will have to do the list, but heck, he was truly mental. I would get arrested for describing how truly awesome Juliet Lewis is, she just has something about her that is so boderline, well deserved Oscar nominations for both of them.

Changing Lanes
2002 Mark: 7.5

Starring: Samuel L Jackson with Ben Affleck
Director: Robert Michell

Why do people diss Ben Affleck so much? This is a masterful little film, presenting Samuel L Jackson in a sympathetic and gentle role which I hope he rates as one of his best, well distant from the bad mouthed pimp he usually portrays (nothing wrong with that, but this is just different)

Chariots Of Fire
1980 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Ben Cross with Ian Charleson, Nigel Havers, Cheryl Campbell, Alice Krige, Ian Holm
Director: David Putnam

Classic. Worth watching just to understand the parodies it has generated. Writing this review and thinking of this film makes me want to write a list of the best sports films. NO BRAINER

Child 44
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 23 April 2015

Starring: Tom Hardy with Gary Oldman, Noomi Rapace, Joel Kinnaman, Paddy Considine, Jason Clarke, Charles Dance, Vincent Cassel
Director: Daniel Espinosa

Well I liked it, I really liked it. A somewhat confusing set of characters (I don't immediately recognise Tom Hardy) slowly build a tableau of deceit, loyalty, damnation and salvation in an intricate web of plots that actually leave me wanting a sequel to be made. Interesting from a historical viewpoint to, and let's face it, even Kenneth Brannagh does not convince me personally with a Russian accent. My first picture back with a Cineworld card, plus Meerkat Movies and my son Grom, it made me re-realise how much I love the cinema

Cinderella Man
2005 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Russell Crowe with Rene Zellewgger, Paul Giamatti

I could watch 7.5 Biopics all the live long day. Rene Zellweger is awesome in this, and Crow makes a pretty good fist of it (sic). One day I must compile a list of fight films. This would be very close to the top.

Divergent Series: Insurgent
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 29 April 2015

Starring: Shailene Woodley with Theo James, Octavia Spencer, Jai Courtney, Ray Stevenson, Zoë Kravitz, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort, Maggie Q, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet
Director: Robert Schwentke

Dare I say I like this better than Hunger Games ? Would Jennifer Lawrence be offended? It is very much of the same spirit, Dystopian future, haves and have nots, evil boss, friendship, treachery, kick ass heroine all very teen+ but this just edges it for me in the genre. I kind of enjoy watching Shailene Woodley, and the scenery seems just a tad more believable (still pretty unbelievable). They even have the plot device of total simulation to engineer exciting scenes. You disagree? That is totally cool by me, I am still really looking forward to Mockingjay 2, and The Hanging Tree is still the best song from 2014 movies. By a long chalk.

The Drop
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 13 September 2015

Starring: Tom Hardy with Noomi Rapace, James Gandolfini, Matthias Schoenaerts, John Ortiz, James Frecheville
Director: Michaël R. Roskam

Probably a better film than my enjoyment quotient indicates (and I thoroughly enjoyed it). It was not the sets which held the eye here but a slew of terrific performances from each and every member of the cast, including the dog!). There was a bar, there were backlots, there were poorly lit rooms, and the odd street, but in a 12 Angry Men vein, this story lives off emotion, arc and ambiguity. Sorry if that sounds poncy, but it really deserves credit as an example of story telling for story telling's sake. There are many films I have marked higher, but I would feel less inclined to recommend. I know I'm behind the times, but after Legend (literally unbelievable) and this, I am finally 'getting' Tom Hardy. Shortly to join him on the A list of actors (as opposed to celebrities) is Matthias Schoenaerts, who I have seen play a Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker with equal aplomb in three terrific films ( Far From The Madding Crowd, and this.

It would be amiss of me not to mention James Gandolfini, who died after making this film. Lots of actors do lots of stuff well, but like Leslie Nielsen, James Gandolfini was special, in that he took an archetype character and set the benchmark for playing it. No person will ever, ever exceed the set of traits in such depth and balance as played by Gandolfini as Tony Soprano. Fear, humour, single mindedness, more fear, loyalty, family, ruthlessness, not suffering of fools, being a fool, command, begrudged admiration, genuine admiration and let's not forget fear again. When our Jake says he is the greatest TV character of all time, I cannot, at this moment, think of a good argument to contradict that plaudit.

Ex Machina
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Tue 3 February 2015

Starring: Domhnall Gleeson with Oscar Isaac, Alicia Vikander
Director: Alex Garland

This kind of forms a trilogy with Her and Under The Skin, and like both those it is a thoughtful and believable interpretation of the " would a thing pretending to be a woman start behaving like a woman? ". I was fascinated by the characters, especially Amy, and the story was ... good. Yep, I'd recommend this to a film fan.

P.S. Gorgeous soundtrack

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close
2011 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 9 March 2015

Starring: Thomas Horn with Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Max von Sydow, Viola Davis, John Goodman, Jeffrey Wright
Director: Stephen Daldry

This starts off in the same place as Boyhood, but, I don't want to spoil anything here, the last third of this film really ramps up the value. Moderate characters and flat story turn into interesting, surprising and thoroughly gratifying film. Alexander Desplat once again nails a beautifully timed score, and trust me, it is worth sitting through the first moderate hour, guessing what is going to happen to whom. Good film.

Far From The Madding Crowd
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 2 May 2015

Starring: Carey Mulligan with Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Sheen, Tom Sturridge, Juno Temple
Director: Thomas Vinterberg

I'd like to take this opportunity to give a real big thank you to all the teachers at my school, along with The Joint Matriculation board, for putting me off Thomas Hardy for 30 years*. Considering I was an avid reader, independent thinker and blossoming socialist when I was 15, that must rank as a real mother fuckin' feather in your stupid arrogant, arse licking hats (whoa, have I got a chip on my shoulder or what?). But come on, Hardy was brilliant and only retired from writing because of critics who didn't understand him, then he is flavour of the month for everybody who has to be told why.

*PS I was 15 when I was ordered to read the book, I had never even been wanked off by a chick and was three years off losing my cherry, so how the Earthly fuck did you expect me, as a person who had been bought up a catholic, ergo sex was something you didn't do, to begin to understand this?"

Freedomland
2012 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 12 August 2015

Starring: Samuel L Jackson with Julianne Moore, Edie Falco, LaTanya Richardson, Clarke Peters, Domenick Lombardozzi
Director: Joe Roth

How utterly 'nice' it is to flick through the recorded films on the digibox with a big plate of food on your lap, hit the Samuel L Jackson slot, and instead of getting a Home Of The Brave you get a Changing Lanes. Not critically lauded, fuck the haters, this is like an episode from The Wire, and I guess it is a little drawn out, but doesn't induce any “ I wish I wasn't watching this ” emotions, at least for me. I consider that Julianne Moore's performance is more emotive, perhaps even better than her Oscar winning Still Alice, and Samuel L Jackson is just, himself, awesome!

Fury
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 3 November 2014

Starring: Brad Pitt with Logan Lerman, Shia LaBeouf, Michael Peña, Jon Bernthal, Jason Isaacs
Director: David Ayer

It'd be kind of hard to imagine someone not enjoying this film one way or another. Within a predictable story arc their are intresting chapters, combined with a steallar cast, great pictures, brutal action and a spooky good score ramp up the value of this film in all departments. Tony said it rejuvinates the war epic. I agree. Good movie

Gascoigne
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 18 September 2015

Starring: Paul Gascoigne with Gary Linekar, Jose Murhino, Wayne Rooney
Director: Jane Preston

A much more enjoyable film than I imagined it would be. If Paul Gascgoine is the best player in blah de blah, why did this documentary resort to showing the same goals several times over. It kind of increased my respect for him as a player a tad, but more as a man, in that this guy has had demons by the dozen to confront.

Gone Girl
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 6 October 2014

Starring: Rosamund Pike (n) with Ben Affleck, Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry, Carrie Coon, Kim Dickens, Missi Pyle
Director: David Fincher

Ripping yarn, made special by Rosamund Pike and Ben Affleck who seem cast perfectly. Without plot revalations there is not a great deal to say about this. It typifies the good movie experience for me with a cast you get absolutely invested into, and a thread that keeps you awake.

The Inbetweeners 2
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 27 August 2014

Starring: Simon Bird with Joe Thomas, James Buckley, Blake Harrison
Director: Damon Beesley, Iain Morris

Now this was good. Terrific writing well acted and funny as fuck. With a decent thread of story as well. Some jokes stand repetition and this just worked for me. Wills soliloquy about Ben was an absolute stone dead masterpiece, in the bracket of Ricky Gervais's rant in the Christmas Extras

Inception
2010 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 23 October 2015

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio with Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Tom Hardy, Dileep Rao, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, and Michael Caine
Director: Stephen Nolan

I might have enjoyed this more under different circumstances. The first time I saw it I didn't 'get it' at all. I really think since I have been concentrating on films I enjoy and understand them so much more, not least because I readily recognise and keep track of the cast. I got it absolutely this time, but after all the hype wasn't completely knocked out. Millions of people would rate it higher, but I thought the story was a little overshadowed by effects and there was no carachter I was absolutely drawn too, even though the stellar cast were pleasing on the eye.

Indiana Jones 4; Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
2008 Mark: 7.5

Starring: Harrison Ford with Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf
Director: Stephen Speilberg

Not as bad as most people would have you believe. Amusingly self referential late sequel that acknowledges the shortcomings bought about by age and rehashing of old ideas. If you don't want swashbuckling adventure, grizzled exasperated looks, unbelievable pickles and incredible escapes along with protracted chases and fights go and watch 50 First fucking Dates

Into The Woods
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 9 January 2015

Starring: James Corden with Meryl Streep (n), Emily Blunt, James Corden, Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Tracey Ullman, Christine Baranski, Lilla Crawford, Daniel Huttlestone, MacKenzie Mauzy, Billy Magnussen, Johnny Depp.
Director: Rob Marshall

This is a brave call from Disney.

I think a lot of little princesses are going to have nightmares about it.

I think more could have been done with the story, and there is such a list of characters that, for me, I would have liked to have known more about them, and 124 minutes did not allow anything but a couple of scenes for some of them. Each and every cast member acted, sang and moved perfectly. I know it seems a bit obvious that that is what should happen, but James Corden was excellent, Chris Pine and Emily Blunt were weird to watch singing but it worked. There was some funny humour but there was lots of dark discordance in the music and the film, no end of unhappy endings and characters who were realistic in that they were genuinely flawed, they all did bad stuff.

Definitely Broadway as well, as you feel like clapping at the end of the numbers!

This is definitely not a film for 8 year olds, but it is a very thought provoking watch for people who have grown out of Disney and want something a little more challenging. Worth a watch, but don't expect Happy Working Song, cos it ain't gonna happen!"

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
2013 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 14 November 2013

Starring: Johnny Knoxville

What would you expect? Funny as fuck, the child star is uber cool (he was in The Fighter ). You could write a review of this without seeing it, and 7.5 was always going to be a slam dunk of a prediction

Kinsey
2004 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 13 April 2014

Starring: Liam Neeson with Laura Linney, Chris O'Donnell, Peter Sarsgaard, Timothy Hutton, John Lithgow, Tim Curry, Oliver Platt
Director: Bill Condon

As biopics go this one is up there with the best. It is obviously a story which would appeal to me in that it illustrates how stupid humans are collectively. Liam Neeson should have been Oscar nominated for his Globe winning performance that includes a full on homo snog.. ewww! I'm not normally squeamish, and I now wonder if my relative ambivalence to homosexuality is because I reckon I am a pretty firm 0 on the scale and do not fear or need to conceal my inner feelings? i.e. are many people so homophobic (I hate that word, it's doesn't do the job it is meant to) because they are just a flounce gay themselves? Just a bit of speculation. Would I be racist if my mum was Polish? I am 'anti-car' and I do drive 'a bit'. Nah. I am for the right thing.

Labor Day
2013 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 30 March 2014

Starring: Kate Winslett with Josh Brolin, Toby McGuire
Director: Jason Reitman

Quite a beautiful film, gets ticks on most aspects. Great contrast to Starred Up which I watched a couple of hours beforehand, yet both detailing stories of prison and its effects on humanity. I reckon this is a good film to take a girl to see. What's a girl?

NB. Toby McGuire is very Cider House Rules (Watch them both, If you are like me you will thoroughly enjoy them).

The Ladykillers
1955 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 5 April 2014

Starring: Alec Guinness with Katie Johnson, Cecil Parker, Herbert Lom, Peter Sellers, Danny Green, Jack Warner, Frankie Howerd
Director: Alexander Mackendrick

It was sweet watching this with a £21 meal for three from Sun Sun, and Graham, Ella and Angie. Old fashioned, to see the Euston Roiad with no traffic was quaint, the acting is like pantomime, and it just takes you back to a better time, when criminals were gentlemen and the filth didn't think they were clever

The Last Emperor
1987 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 14 August 2015

Starring: John Lone with Peter O'Toole
Director: Bernardo Bertolucci

An Oscar winner... delivers. Look, I know I've only given this 7.5, but that was for personal enjoyment I can totally understand why the Academy dished out the gong in this case, it is sumptous, factual, and a thoroughly 'must watch' film, and kudos to them for being brave enough to place it up there. I know, it is wrong to say a film is good because it was ground-breaking, but this one feels like the first time people have seen the inside of the Forbidden Palace. The morning after and I am so glad I saw it. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO UPGRADE MY RATING. But if I was, I would!! If you are going to watch it (and you should), please be patient, don't expect anything too spectacular in terms of plot twists, it's a biography. Awesome.

The Last Of The Mohicans
1992 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 9 August 2015

Starring: Daniel Day Lewis with Peter Postlethwait, Colm Meany
Director: Michael Mann

Just a good film, with digestible romance, terrific characterisation, it was, now I think about it, a love story, albeit a very stiff upper lip one. It was a little like watching Pocahontas !

Legend
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 11 September 2015

Starring: Tom Hardy with Emily Browning, Christopher Eccleston, Paul Bettany, Colin Morgan, David Thewlis, Tara Fitzgerald, Taron Egerton, Duffy
Director: Brian Helgeland

This was not a bad film at all; I expected less, but got a pretty riveting watch, with some uncomfortable humour, some insight into names I have known all my life, and timed my Subway Salad to perfection for the start of the film. Frankly, I am always pleased when the Studio Canal Logo opens up a film. This probably is not a spoiler alert but SPOILER ALERT. please do not read any further if you have not seen the film, then come back and tell me I am clueless. I never ever realised the both Krays were played by Tom Hardy. Fekkin' genius, I am so glad I did not pay much attention to the trailers and adverts, even though I did ponder why Tom Hardy was credited but the actor playing Ron wasn't. I thought it was Vic Reeves or somebody. One case in point where ignorance was bliss!

Lincoln
2012 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 7 February 2015

Starring: Daniel Day Lewis with Tommy Lee Jones, Lee Pace, Walton Goggins, Sally Field, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Bruce McGill
Director: Stephen Speilberg

Thumbs up for a thriller conducted without explosions, animals, car chases or overt out and out bad guys. Daniel Day Lewis is cloyingly convincing, and as an exercise in understanding politics it is an absolute standard text. Steven Spielberg can deliver a story, and you know what he is doing, nevertheless he still sucks you in on the right side. I bet Tommy Lee Jones loved doing this.

N.B. The consensus seems to be that it is 90% accurate, that there is some exaggeration, that some costume inconsistencies question historical accuracy, but all in all it is factually sufficiently robust.

Locke
2013 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 21 October 2015

Starring: Tom Hardy
Director: Steven Knight

Tom Hardy.. This is the true inheritor of the one-man play, a film so sparse that, apart from wondering what the $2 million budget was spent on, and why a wardrobe designer is credited, one can only marvel at the power of story telling. Like many 'gritty' films this has an enjoyment quotient somewhat less than its quality mark, nevertheless this was incredibly enyouable and most thought-provoking. Just watch it to see a masterclass in acting and narrative. How the fuck can it hold you for 90 minutes? The thing is; it does. I have not been as impressed with the art of theatre since The Woman In Black

There are moments when Tom Hardy looks like Chris Pratt!"

The Longest Day
1962 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Tue 24 February 2015

Starring: Robert Mitchum John Wayne, Kenneth More, Richard Todd, Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Henry Fonda, Red Buttons, Peter Lawford, Eddie Albert, Jeffrey Hunter, Stuart Whitman, Tom Tryon, Rod Steiger, Leo Genn, Gert Fröbe, Irina Demick, Bourvil, Curt Jürgens, Robert Wagner, Paul Anka, Arletty.
Producer: Darryl F. Zanuck

Watch this and you will see A Bridge Too Far in black and white. An epic movie which takes a relatively focused event and deals with the multiple protagonists.

I do feel that the wise cracking small fella from, probably, Brooklyn is over-used, along with the military stereotypes of the amazed cockney, the dour Scot, the stiff upper lip English officers, and the Germans who keep repeating lines like “verrry interesting”. John Wayne and Robert Mitchum, quite frankly, get on my tits. Let’s throw Richard Burton in there too.

I am being too harsh by picking out the negatives, and on writing I realize what a good film this was. Plus points are a ready-made story (which is not really resolved except in the imagination), some interesting characters, an absolutely stellar cast, a huge set and the historical insight. I would single out the extensive use of German and French dialogue with subtitles completely the right way to go, and that this should be the template; as I recall it I can’t remember the subtitles being there, but I do know one never read “very interesting”! To its credit not all the Germans in this film were buffoons or overbearingly arrogant, and it was good to see that a short generation after the events, some were portrayed in a decently sympathetic light. I can’t wait to read the reviews on the historical accuracy, but all in all I would say this is a must-see film, perhaps in tandem with Saving Private Ryan, not just for ‘enjoyment’ but for an insight into the D Day landings and movie making from a world which had heard of Elvis, but not The Beatles

Thought: Why was James Stewart not in this film? I mean, read his war record and you have one stand-up guy. Was this film below his high standards?"

A Man For All Seasons
1966 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 19 August 2015

Starring: Paul Schofield with Wendy Hiller, Leo McKern, Orson Welles, Robert Shaw, Susannah York, Vanessa Redgrave, William Hurt
Director: Fred Zinnemann

I'll tell you how stupid religion is. When I was at junior school, at St Joseph's, Pontefract, they trooped us down to the Crescent Cinema to watch this. If I remember rightly I was bored shitless with it at the time. This second time around, nearly half a century later, it wasne so bad, with a great cast and reasonably engaging story. The dialogue was absolutely wonderful, but the best boost to this film was comparing it to Wolf Hall, and seeing how simialar they are, but from different viewpoints, especially the main protagonosts, thomass Moore and Cromwell. I am absolutely postive that this film has had a massive influence on the TV program. What a cast!

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched Tue 1 September 2015

Starring: Henry Clavill with Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki, Hugh Grant
Director: Guy Ritchie

2015 is turning into a vintage year for spy/spoof movies, with this delivering a fun reboot of what might have been one of my favourite programmes when I was a kid (I have been told to re-watch them).

Arnie Hammer and Henry Clavill are kind of perfect in their parts, and, at last, a Hugh Grant role which doesn't annoy, but amuses completely. He has to get a recurring role in James Bond, in fact, feck it – this franchise has got some roll left in it. With hindsight it is just a vehicle for tried and tested clichés, but that is what makes it good, they work, and they are delivered with not just wit, but respect. If you like the idiom, watch this when you are in a good mood and I hope it will entertain

Man Of Steel
Mark: 7.5 Watched Thu 1 October 2015

Starring: Henry Cavill with Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Kevin Costner, Laurence Fishburne, Russell Crowe
Director: Zack Snyder

Excellent ripping yarn with a very appropriate cast. I must admit I am still looking forward to the last 40 minutes, but that is the first thing on today's agenda. Amy Adams is worth an extra point on any film. Henry Cavill will be famous for a long time methinks (You can get (Cal-El) out of his name; what are the odds?)

The Martian
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 30 September 2015

Starring: Matt Damon with Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Michael Peña, Kate Mara, Sean Bean, Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Director: Ridley Scott

Yep, a lot more fun than Interstellar but it's not Apollo 13

I read that the science is good, but ... Ah, it's just a yarn, and with a Sub and coffee and biscuits and fruit and nut on it's release day with our Grom it was a nice place to be.

P.s. I thought the film quality was terrible, like they had left all the backgrounds in 3d."

Men In Black 3
2012 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 5 September 2015

Starring: Will Smith with Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Kones, Emma Thompson, Bill Hader, Will Arnett, Nicole Sherzinger, Lady Gaga, Rip Torn, Tim Burton
Directors Barry Sonnenfeld

An ideal way to spend an evening! As our Jake says, time displacement is a fertile patch for exploration, and a funny and entertaining thread is absolutely lit up by Josh Brolin as Tommy Lee Jones. Makes me chuckle to think of it even now. The vertigoal scene's were genuinely hairy, even on a domestic TV. Solid shit.

A Most Wanted Man
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 14 September 2014

Starring: Phillip Seymour Hoffman with Rachel McAdams, Willem Dafoe, Robin Wright,
Director: Anton Corbijn

I had not heard of this film until I bought the ticket, and had no idea what to expect. A pleasant surprise is what I found, spooks, Germany and overcast to damp, I thought straight away it was very like something John LeCarré would have written. Philip Seymour Hoffman, in what must have been his last role was really good, and the film somehow managed to transfer complex plot in an understandable way. If you liked Smileys people and The Constant Gardner you'd like this. It was John Le Carré

Moulin Rouge
2001 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Tue 15 April 2014

Starring: Ewan McGregor with Nicole Kidman, Jim Broadbent
Director: Baz Lurmhan

7.5 is getting to be a bit of a catch-all. Terrific film with some absolutely outstanding musical numbers. Euan MacGregor has such a beautiful voice and the sets are huge. The drama can be just a bit prolonged in places, but the thread holds together enough to make this platform for colour and sound the full package

My Fair Lady
1964 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 15 August 2015

Starring: Rex Harrison with Audrey Hepburn, Marni Nixon, Stanley Holloway, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Jeremy Brett
Director: George Kukor

After 40 minutes I gave up the fight and started enjoying it. Rex Harrison is crazy funny, Audrey Hepburn is, frankly, rubbish (it should have been Julie Andrews), The dubbing is laughable, the songs can go on a bit, but, you just can't resist good old fashioned values!

Nightcrawler
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 6 November 2014

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal with Rene Russo, Riz Ahmed, Bill Paxton
Director: Dan Gilroy

Yep, this ticks the boxes. The only thing that fans of American Psycho might not like about this film is that one might imagine it to be a little derivative. That said, Jake Gyllenhaal is absolutely superb as Patrick Bateman (Louis Bloom really!), The arc is rock solid, maintaining interest throughout, You want to know where it is going without having any idea what the little scamp is up to. L.A.? Who’d want to live there?

On Deadly Ground
1994 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 22 December 2014

Starring: Steven Seagal with Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John C. McGinley, R. Lee Ermey, Kenji Nakano, Billy Bob Thornton
Director: Steven Seagal

Watched this the same night as Heat and gave it half a point more. How is this possible, a Steven Seagal vanity project that had multiple Razzie nominations and a win for Seagal as director? Because I enjoyed it, it had a good story, marverlously theatrical carachters, and a surprising, out of context in terms of action, ending which put me right and the back foot and confirmed that this film, although technically flawed is GOOD. Look, it's a fucking pantomime, accept it as that and stop whinging on about delivery from a bloke who is better at martial arts than he is at Shakespeare.

NB, our Jake had real trouble getting hold of this, just the same as me with An Incoinvenient Truth and Whatever Happened To The Electric Car, which I still haven't got yet.

Pixels
2015 Mark: 7.5 Watched Wed 2 September 2015

Starring: Adam Sandler with Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Brian Cox, Sean Bean, Dan Aykroyd, Daryl Hall, John Oates, Matt Frewer, Serena Williams
Director: Chris Columbus

This turned out better than I expected and kind of didn't flag much at all, Adam Sandler was Adam Sandler, Peter Dinklage, I'm afraid to say, is far more convincing as Tyrion (at which he is genius). I feel, in retrospect like marking this up. Great solid comedy with an otherwise reasonable cast, and a lovely concept. No Mario :(. And it got critically pasted. Fuck 'em I really enjoyed it.

Runaway Jury
2003 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 20 February 2014

Starring: John Cusack with Rachel Weisz, Jack Nicolson, Dustin Hoffman

Absolutely made for John Cussack as an affable jock with hidden talents. This story swerves rather than lurches its way not too violently or circuitously through a satisfying 2 hours which is, thankfully, not the 12 Angry Men I expected it to be. Must read some more John Grisham books

Self/Less
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 23 July 2015

Starring: Ryan Reynolds with Natalie Martinez, Matthew Goode, Victor Garber, Derek Luke, Ben Kingsley.
Director: Tarsem Singh

I have a feeling this may have been an eight, but since I saw it I have been all topsy turvey. I walked in and there were loads of women in, and I did not know what to expect, so I thought it was going to be a romance.. eeewww! As it 'appened it was a well put together film around a fascinating premise, Ben Kingsley IS awesome and Ryan Reynolds, the object no doubt of the female attention kicked ass. Recommended for a home viewing at least. Oh, Tarsem Singh – I might have guessed

Sicario
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 11 October 2015

Starring: Emily Blunt with Josh Brolin, Benicio del Toro, Daniel Kaluuya, Maximiliano Hernández, Victor Garber
Director: Denis Villeneuve

Emily Blunt caries off the feminine 'hero' perfectly. Like The Day After Tomorrow, her part is believable, even more so in this film during which her character displays not just toughness but she loses sass in favour of real vulnerability and you are rooting for her. The rest of the lead cast are ace, and the story works. The first half is better than the second, but it is still a good second half. Ahh, it's great that 2015 movies are back on track after a pretty dull September.

Sin City 2: A Dame To Die For
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 1 September 2014

Starring: Mickey Rourke with Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Powers Boothe, Bruce Willis, Eva Green, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Josh Brolin, Christopher Lloyd, Ray Liotta, Stacy Keach, Lady Gaga
Director: Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller

I was in an empty cinema for the 6:30 showing! Wow, what a waste, A little disjointed with the carachter threads, nevertheless, it is absolutely beautifully done, with a host of great actors, all of them could be called the star, being either/and/or very sexy or brutally hard. The spirit of Raymond Chandler, absolutely striking and forboding cinematography, definitely worth the watch. Must go back to number one as there seems to be a lot of tie-ins.

Slumdog Millionaire
2007 Mark: 7.5

Starring: Dev Patel
Director: Danny Boyle

I feel obliged to go into detail but I'm not going to. Justified best original song for Jai Ho and the best cut ever

Spiderman 2
2004 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 12 April 2014

Starring: Toby McGuire
Director: Sam Raimi

More of the same. Good solid funny, action packed marvel film. Toby McGuire makes a good Peter parker

Still Alice
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 26 February 2015

Starring: Julianne Moore with Alec Baldwin, Kristen Stewart
Directors: Richard Glatzer, Wash Westmoreland

Pretty solid 7.5 in that it was very illuminating regarding Alzheimer’s disease (I think), it never got too ponderous, and despite some “would they really say or do that?” moments it provided a credible insight into the degradation of memory. It was quite scary in that we all will think we have it next time we forget the opening lines to For The First Time In Forever (it happened today!).

Food for thought is the value of life; perhaps some people die in their 50s and we should accept that with the stoicism of somebody who is smaller than average. I don’t know. What is the average life expectancy of a human hunter gatherer from 15,000 years ago?

What was the car driving angle? Did Alice have to stop driving, and at what stage?

Julianne Moore was a fair enough choice for the best actress award at the Oscars, but in addition I thought that Kristen Stewart was really good, and deserves total credit for being just right in this."

Tarzan
1999 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Mon 5 January 2015

Starring: Tony Goldwyn with Minnie Driver, Glenn Close, Rosie O'Donnell, Brian Blessed, Lance Henriksen, Wayne Knight, Nigel Hawthorne
Directors: Chris Buck, Kevin Lima

Even the not so good Disney's are really good! There was some uncomfortably twee cinema in this one, a little too much of the Jar Jar Binks with supporting craachters, a little anthrocentric, without the freshness of The Jungle Book Jane did remind me of Lois Griffin, The story wasn't the strongest and the leads were stock off the shelf, but like I said, Disney is Disney and it's allways a good watch. The soundtrack was by and large martvelous and made me like Phil Collins again. He deserved the best original song Oscar

Ted
2013 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 13 August 2015

Starring: Mark Whalberg with Seth McFarlane, Mila Kunis, Giovanni Riblisi, Ryan Reynolds, Ted Danson, Patrick Stewart

It feels somewhat dissapointing to give this film 7.5, as one might have expected even more. The thing is, it is a most excellent film, well produced and acted, no complaints whatsoever. The jokes, music and voices are all very Family Guyish, so the edge is not what it would have been without that cartoon. Simpsons did it!

Another to add to the Roster of Mark Whalberg films to enjoy!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day
1991 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 5 July 2015

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger with Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick
Director: James Cameron

More enjoyable than the first, Linda Hamilton rocks in this and Arnie DOES deliver his defining role. The cheese department is filled by young John Connor, but this sequel, for me, edges the first in most departments. All the criticisms still apply, but not so harshly. Much better thought out.

Terminator 4: Genisys
2015 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Tue 7 July 2015

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger with Jason Clarke, Emilia Clarke,, Jai Courtney
Director: Alan Taylor

Liked it! I know it's heresy to say, but I like it more than the first one! All the cast are convincing, the delivery is spot on, and it has bought modern film making techniques with good effect into this classic franchise.

Terms Of Endearment
1983 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Fri 18 April 2014

Starring: Debra Winger with Jack Nicholson, John Lithgow, Geoff Daniels

There is probably no way this would have been my favourite film of 1983, but that is not to say I don't understand how it won the Oscar. If I had to sit and watch a film with a girl, this would be terrific. The fashion and cinematography is very much of its time. Oscar winners 1984 through 1987 were all period pieces ( Amadeus, Out Of Africa, Platoon, The Last Emperor, and by the time we get to Rainman film quality seems to have undergone a step change. Perhaps it is just depth of focus, perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about, but it this does have a 'made for TV' look about it

The Theory Of Everything
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 11 January 2015

Starring: Eddie Redmayne with Felicity Jones (n), Charlie Cox, Emily Watson, Simon McBurney, Christian McKay,, David Thewlis
Director: James Marsh

I must put my hands up and admit that I have been talked into downing this from an 8 to a 7.5. After much soul searching it sticks, for the following reasons:

I enjoyed this film, there was a great deal to enjoy! Eddie Redmayne is absolutely brilliant as Stephen Hawking, the great man himself has said he (Hawking) thought he was watching himself, so if he (Redmayne) gets the gongs for it I would hope that Michael Keaton and Benedict Cumberbatch would shake his hands and agree they all done good.

There was a moment when I was convinced it was going to be an 8, as the first part of the film described (Spoiler alert, but I think everybody could imagine this anyhoo) Hawking's succumbing to the effects of motor-neurone disease. I was thinking ""Ah this is what story tellers do"" and forgiving the film for what I imagined may have been anachronisms and imaginative patronisations. The first half was terrific, but, for me at least, the second half could have been a quarter (in which case it would have become a third!). Throughout the cinematography was beautiful, and I guess the actors did their jobs, but...

Bar Hawking, none of the cast really grabbed me as fascinating. The story of Stephen Hawking's science is still pending, and for an interested layman such myself has been fairly flat for the last 3 decades; the story of Jane's romance though not unpleasant, is just not gripping enough to maintain an arc of narrative that maintains that hunger for more. So the film was a really really good watch, but next to its comparison film of 2014, The Imitation Game, palls in terms of the touchstones of story and carachters (and message as well, if you wanna throw it in)."

This Boy's Life
1993 7.5
Watched: Sat 17 May 2014

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio with Robert De Niro, Ellen Barkin, Eliza Dushku, Toby McGuire!
Director: Michael Caton-Jones

Leonardo diCaprio has always been good, and there is no better evidence than this. Weird how Rober Di Nero never changes.

Tobruk
1967 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 19 June 2014

Starring: Rock Hudson with George Peppard
Director: Arthur Hiller

There are plenty worse ways to spend an afternoon then watching this set the stall out for Indiana Jones. It make you think how it was tough being Gay back in the day. Rock Hudson is perfectly likeable, and its just a good yarn.

Unbroken
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Thu 15 January 2015

Starring: Jack O'Connell with Domhnall Gleeson
Director: Angelina Jolie

Thumbs up for the film and the actor of the year Jack O'Connell. His films don't score really big becasue they are disturbing to watch. This one kept my attention for 139 minutes, it had its highs and lows, it took liberties with the historical narrative but it all worked. O'Connell is that good I thought he might have been playing the 7 year old version of Louis in this film. I don't think I would have recognised him unless I had known beforehand.

Of course one has to compare it to the years other POW film, and if I remember rightly, The Railwayman comes out slightly ahead. Let me check.... Yep. Both my favourite composer of the moment Alexander Desplat. All the Oscar nominees are being put on at the cinema now (January 2015) so it makes it difficult to say if you agree with some of them or not. Whiplash, Big Eyes, American Sniper all to watch. Should this get any awards? No, but it deserves recognition as a good watch."

Watchmen
2009 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 5 July 2014

Starring: Billy Cruddup with Nicola Stephenson, Malin Åkerman, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson
Director: Zack Snyder

I've watched this twice, and still don't get it all. That is not a negative criticism in the slightest, but I am fascinated by the ambiguity of moral choice, and this film delves into it with some terrifically polar characters, I love Roscharch, even though I don't know where he came from, so i guess I will just have to watch this again

Winters Tale, A New York
2014 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 5 March 2014

Starring: Colin Farrell with Russell Crowe, William Hurt, Jessica Brown Findlay
Director: Akiva Goldsman

The nature of this film makes it curious to rate, in that it falls fairly and squarely into a super-natural world, and I would have expected either a ten or a four. It actually drops into the nearly great film bracket, in that with hindsight I am thinking that was just a little bit too optimistic, even for that crazy mixed up New York of guardian angels and Devil's henchmen and time dilation and malevolent Will Smith. But there is no getting away from the fact I was entranced for much of it, the pictures were beautiful, a la Hugo, the characters were most engaging. If in a fix, a flying white horse is a get-out, albeit a get-out which could be easily substituted for anything which is 'magic' That's where it differs from The Green Mile ; it loses on believability for quite significantly the same story. Whatever, I wiped a way a tear. What a fag! Sybil Crawley was beautiful. Colin Farrell was Mr Banks. Russell Crowe bought his Robin Hood accent along, and of all his parts, I think this is the one which most enjoys “ Fightin' 'round The World (shame he had to stick to New York!). Good watch.

Withnail And I
1987 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sun 22 June 2014

Starring: Paul McGann with Richard E Grant, Richard Griffifths
Director: Bruce Robinson

It really helps to watch a film with somone who is passionate about it. I know I started this film before but can not remember finishing it. Perhaps it was because I consumed the film and a bottle of wine simultaneously. Anyhoo, the humour is very much in the First Loves vein, quintessentially English and, given the autobiographical nature of this film, a little disturbing. I suspect a bit of the David Copperfield about it, but then again that is, I guess, what autobiographies do. Would I have preferred the 'director's cut' ending (I am not going to spoil it by telling you what it is)? Mmm... yes.

This film has attained huge cultural significance, with high positions in numerous lists. It launched the career of Richard E Grant, and I feel a little embarrassed to give it a lower mark than 22 Jump Street. I mark films for enjoyment, and I really enjoyed this film, but I think I may have been a little tired or had other things on my mind. I will visit Sleddale Hall

X-Men 4 Origins: Wolverine
2009 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 4 January 2014

Starring: Hugh Jackman with Liev Schreiber, Lynn Collins, Taylor Kitsch, will.i.am, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Daniel Henney, Ryan Reynolds.
Director: Gavin Hood

Half decent movie, in fact I thoroughly enjoyed it. Was Hugh Jackman trying to emulate Clint Eastwood? Is Lynn Collins a doppelgänger for Jennifer Lawrence?
Listen if you want 'art' go to the Tate Modern. If you want to see some kicking ass after a gin and tonic, this'll fit the bill.

The Yards
2000 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Sat 14 March 2015

Starring: Mark Whalberg with Joaquin Phoenix, Charlize Theron, James Caan, Ellen Bustyn, Faye Dunaway
Director: James Gray

What a film for the Connection game. I wonder if I like this film more because of the subsequent success of 75% of the lead four actors, or because it was genuinely good, with a taut story, dynamic characterisations, with the odd moment of over the topishness which made for a thoroughly interesting Saturday night. Look, I wouldn't say “rush out and get this film”, but what I would say is “set it to tape and catch it when you can”

Regression
2015 Mark: 7.6 Watched Sun 11 October 2015

Starring: Ethan Hawke with Emma Watson, David Dencik, David Thewlis
Director: Alejandro Amenábar

A good first half, a great second half, a superb true-life psychological thriller in which.... wait for it... Emma Watson nails it! Not only is the film a great watch in it's own right, it creates believable horror, and is the second film this year to provide real insight into the workings of the human mind (the first being, of course, Inside Out. What a pair!

I'm glad this only gets 7.5% on Rotten Tomatoes. It kind of adds substance to my theory that people won't believe the resolution. Watch Compliance, and if you don't understand why am calling you a self deluding fuck, you are a self deluding fuck.

Kill Your Friends
2015 Mark: 7.7
Watched: Thu 12 November 2015

Starring: Nicholas Hoult with James Corden, Craig Roberts, Joseph Mawle, Ed Skrein
Director: Owen Harris

You know, From the reviews I expected this to be a lot worse. It was actually very funny and quite intriguing, with an absolutely hatefull list of carachters and a very unpleasant view of London and the music industry. I can't give anything away, but listen and watch for Steven's reaction to the "You might as well" advice from Parker-Hall.

Funnily disgusting.

Chappie
2015 Mark: 7.8
Watched: Sat 12 September 2015

Starring: Sharlto Copley with Dev Patel, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Sigourney Weaver, Hugh Jackman, Watkin Tudor Jones (Ninja), Yolandi Visser
Director: Neill Blomkamp

Well I loved it. I liked the theatrics, I loved the actors, the music was well 'ard, and I loved the way the characters played out. The most interesting aspect was the infantile anthormorpasization of the title character, how it is so easy to strike the right chords with a gullible person like me.

Spy
2015 Mark: 7.8
Watched: Thu 11 June 2015

Starring: Melissa McCarthy with Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale, Nargis Fakhri, Allison Janney, Jude Law.
Director: Paul Feig

Poor Melissa McCarthy! I really quite like her films, Tammy, St Vincent, and this are all quite excellent movies, but like Helen Shapiro going on a headlining tour with The Beatles as support, this funny and well made film has come out a few months after Kingsman and consequently loses in comparison to that masterpiece. So let's put that to bed and say, go and watch, it's a hoot, Jason Statham is hilarious, The cast are all engaging and witty and the story is good. Whatever your thoughts are about Miranda Hart, they will be amplified by this.

47 Ronin
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Tue 7 January 2014

Starring: Keanu Reeves
Director: Carl Rinsch

10% on Rotten Tomatoes??? What do these jerks know about films? This was a thoroughly good movie. If you don't like fight sequences and mystic intervention and "Magic Wand – Make my monster grow" you won't like this, but why would you even want to consider watching it if you are such a pussy?

Almost Famous
2000 Mark: 8

Starring: Patrick Fugit with Billy Crudup, Frances McDormand, Kate Hudson, Jason Lee, Fairuza Balk, Anna Paquin, Noah Taylor, Zooey Deschanel, Philip Seymour Hoffman
Director: Cameron Crowe

I know I have watched this a couple of times, know that Ella loved it, I remember I enjoyed it even more the second time round. This might not be an accurate review (it is not done contemperaneously), but it is in because of the Boat That Rocked comparison

Amadeus
1983 Mark: 8

Starring: Tom Hulse with F Murray Abraham
Director: Milos Foreman

Ah.. From the opening the tone is set of great music, and the ultimate Tom and Jerry story with F Murray Abraham getting in the top 20 baddies list and Tom Hulse portraying the manic genius on the button

Ant-Man
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 23 July 2015

Starring: Paul Rudd with Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Bobby Cannavale, Michael Peña, Tip "T.I." Harris, Wood Harris, Michael Douglas
Director: Peyton Reed

Well, could this be my favourite Marvel film so far? Paul Rudd is excellent, he doesn't cloy like Robert Downey or other Marvel heroes, the humour is – well humorous, the action is ace, the surprise high, I just thoroughly enjoyed it. Oh, and Edgar Wright. I might have guessed.

Assassins Tale
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 9 February 2014

Starring: Michael Beach with Anna Silk
Director: Arthur Louis Fuller

This is the very best film I have ever watched which has no reference to any actors, crew or music that I am aware of. I meant to put Argo on, and this was clicked by accident. I thought "Oh my god it is gonna be gratuitously violent and a potential go to sleep or turn off. Far from it. Characters get 5 stars, plot gets a good three, augmented by an absolutely brilliant soundtrack which made me want to go and check the lot out. I have to watch it again with one of the kids. I am sure I will not downgrade it.. I can't even find it on IMDB or Wikipedia

Australia
2008 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 30 October 2015

Starring: Nicole Kidman with Hugh Jackman, David Wenham, David Gulpilil, Brandon Walters, Ben Mendelsohn
Director: Baz Luhrman

Epic! What an absolutely super quasi-gay, immerse yourself in theatre, eye pleasing, amusing, exciting, disbelief suspending slab of of mother loving EPIC. It approaches the cinematic breadth of Lawrence Of Arabia, with the unapologetic emotional blackmail of August Rush. I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea, but this is without doubt beautifully made, and is a pefefect example of modern story-telling.

Why "quasi-gay"? Because there is a moment in the ballroom scene when my jaw dropped and I came as close as I ever have to getting a boner for a bloke! (I didn't, but I now know what to aim for when I go out to impress chicks).

Baz Lurhman is amazing. six days later I want to up this film's rating.

Avengers: Age of Ultron
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 23 April 2015

Starring: Robert Downey Jr. with Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, Cobie Smulders, Anthony Mackie, Hayley Atwell, Idris Elba, Stellan Skarsgård, James Spader, Samuel L. Jackson, Stan Lee
Director: Joss Wheldon

Being senile and square, I am just getting the hang of who's who in the Marvel Universe, consequently I identified more with this instalment than all it's predecessors. It is a proper film, and I am sure that the vast majority of the pretty full house must have gone away well satisfied . SPOILER ALERT: The story was leaked prior to release (every Power Rangers episode), but hey! If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Awesome, awesome characters, fantastic special effects, hilarious dialogue (especially Thor), this film would be as good a reason as any to explain why one goes to the movies

Big Eyes
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 4 October 2015

Starring: Amy Adams with Christoph Waltz, Jason Schwartzman, Terrence Stamp
Director: Tim Burton

It is a sad indictment of people's viewing at the Cinema to think that this had such a short run that I didn't get to see it when it was out. Whatever, I slotted it on this morning and it had me from the get-go, that get go being the totally beautiful Amy Adams and the over the top but irresistable Waltz.Quite a drastic difference for Tim Burton,m in that there was nothing imaginary or fantastical about the tale. Nearer Wes Anderson without the comedy than what you would expect, still beautifully made, but more dependant onthe drama. Modern films eh, great ones are mundanely common.

Brave
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: Kelly McDonald with Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane, Kevin McKidd, Craig Ferguson

Just a great cartoon

Bridge On The River Kwai
1957 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 7 August 2015

Starring: Alec Guinness with Jack Hawkins, William Holden
Director: David Lean

Yeah, this deserves the accolades. Very old school British, but with the breadth of Cinemascope and David Lean's ambition, it was fading a little with the William Holden scenes, but a superb monlogue (when Col Nicholson was talking on the bridge) provided brilliant insight and teed up a fantastic last scene

A Bridge Too Far
1977 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 28 March 2014

Starring: Sean Connery with Dirk Bogarde, Ryan O'Neal, James Caan, Michael Caine, Edward Fox, Elliott Gould, Anthony Hopkins, Gene Hackman, Hardy Krüger, Laurence Olivier, Robert Redford, Maximilian Schell, Alun Armstrong, Liv Ullmann
Director: Richard Attenborough

This scores 5 on the cast alone! Combining a stellar line up with a great, true, story, terrific score, we will forgive its clichés (which flow thick and fast throughout the duration) and appreciate that, at least, not all Germans are all bad, and not all allies are all good. (There is a pretty strong pull in that direction though). I think this may be the longest 'Also Starring' list. Why did I put Sean Connery at the front? Why not?, he was the character I most enjoyed.

Clueless
1995 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 19 March 2014

Starring: Alicia Silverstone with Stacey Dash, Paul Rudd, Donald Faison, Brittany Murphy

Freakin awesome! It is wonderful that an American teen comedy can be intelligent and funny without geeky slapstick. The characters, especially Cher (Alicia Silverstone), are sufficiently credible, the dialogue is a lesson in the modern idiom, and you know what's going to happen, but last time I walked 'round New Miller Dam I knew what was going to happen, but it was still lovely. Good soundtrack (It was the Mighty Mighty Bosstones at the party). I feel guilty giving it an 8, but what the hell, I enjoyed it.

Dallas Buyers Club
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 27 February 2014

Starring: Matthew McConaughey with Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto
Director: Jean-Marc Vallée

Ye-haw. Worthy actor nomination for Matthew McConaughey who is what this film is all about. Everything about this film is just kind of right, and it has massive humour in it, albeit leaning towards pathos.

I first really took notice of a technique I will call “invertism” on the TV series Prison Break ; it is when humour that is regarded now as politically incorrect is conducted by characters who are overt dick-heads. i.e. when the bad guy calls a black guy “Sambo” it is because he is such a knob, not because it is funny, because of course it isn't, it's horrible racism and anybody who uses such words is a complete Nazi Jew burning, art thieving etc. etc.. Do you get the picture? Anyhoo, back to Dallas Buyers Club. The film is full of hard drinkin' tough fightin' woman shaggin' Texas hicks, who naturally are complete arseholes, a trait which manifests itself in homophobic jokes (Stupid word that, you don't have to be scared of gays to be horrible to them). Ron Woodroof starts out like this and (Spoiler Alert) finds redemption through adversity, providing a platform for gay jokes all the way through. And good! Gay humour is often funny. Black guy jokes can be hilarious. If people point out I am a lisping loser who will probably never get laid again in his life, if it is done with a little sympathy and understanding it is, sadly, somewhat amusing (LOL). Whatever. Great film, more funny than sad, and the message about government agencies and big pharma being plukes is never repeated enough.

You know If Jared Leto won best supporting actor at this years Oscar's that'd be all right by me.

Delivery Man
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 13 January 2013

Starring: Vince Vaughan with Lynn Collins

I watched this straight after Last Vegas with a cinema Sub and three cookies. Once again the film exceeded expectations, with Vince Vaughan not going over the top (á la Dodgeball ) but carrying the premise along with some LOL moments and genuine poignancy. Hope that doesn't spoil it for you.
I can not endorse the cinema experience enough – Jeez, I know it is pricey, but the net effect is it turns a great film into a perfect one. (I hope that makes sense, look at the ratings chart at the top)

Demolition Man
1993 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 10 January 2013

Starring: Sylvester Stallone with Sandra Bullock, Wesley Snipes, Nigel Hawthorne, Rob Schneidern, Bob Gunton, Jack Black

Some of the Jokes are kind of predictable and the science fuzzy, but generally a good film garnished with a brilliant comic baddy performance from Snipes

End Of Watch
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 20 March 2015

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal with Michael Peña, Anna Kendrick, Frank Grillo, America Ferrera
Director: David Ayer

For a film that is somewhat jarring, in both a cinematographic sense (It is largely done as a hand held POV amateur footage), and in terms of its content, (let us describe it as a stream of consciousness documentary of a day in the life of two LA cops), this movie is a minor masterpiece. It takes back the cops are good guys trope, and after the slew of films that expose the corrupt underbelly of law enforcement, or at least how flawed our layered protagonists can be, this just gets on with it and shows a department which is up against some real bad guys, and two officers with whom one can adopt an thorough empathy. I calculate that the film is good enough to stand this degree of spoiler. On reading the reviews I find, this time, that I am not alone, and though it crept under the radar somewhat it is widely regarded as one of the best films of 2012. Masterful performances, no pulled punches, superb dialogue, Michael Pena has got to have a role in Alimente Mexicano. Like '71 or Starred Up, as a pure film this would rate even higher, but I like my stoner comedy and shows at the end with a musical number where everything comes good

If you liked Crash and The Wire you will like this."

The Fall
2006 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 1 January 2015

Starring: Lee Pace
Director: Tarsem Singh

Phew! Is this one of the most underrated films I have seen, I mean the story is fantastic, the acting great, the carachters amazing, and the only cinematography which springs to mind to compare is Angel-A which was black and white so can't really is at a differnt place. The colour of Wes Anderson, The breadth of the Cohen brothers, dozens of locations which should be on every globe trotters bucket list, but absolutely wonderful scope for imagination to boot.

The Fault In Our Stars
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 16 June 2014

Starring: Shailene Woodley with Ansel Elgort,Nat Wolff, Laura Dern, Sam Trammell, Willem Dafoe
Director: Josh Boone

Well is wasn't the booze that made me love this film. Was it personal circumstance? - I don't think so, but you can't help thinking of the ones you love. This had so much otherwise going for it, apart from a reasonable story interspersed with surprises. The message about oblivion and small infinities seems so true, and should be really taken on board. Despite being eye-moistening for a large part, it was still in a way uplifting, and never for a moment did my head nod (that happens a lot nowadays). I have been blessed by a trio of films today (see X-Men 9 and Devil's Knot). I consider myself most fortunate!

P.S. Oscar nomination for Shaleen Woodley? I wouldn't complain!

P.P.S. Two of the tracks near the end sound so like Peter Gabriel I thought they were (You have to listen to the opening dialogue to understand why I mention this)

Forrest Gump
1993 Mark: 8

Starring: Tom Hanks with Gary Senise
Director: Robert Zemeckis

Makes you smile

Get Hard
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Tue 28 April 2015

Starring: Will Ferrell with "Kevin Hart, Alison Brie, Edwina Findley, Craig T Nelson, T.I., John Mayer, Jimmy Fallon"
Director: Etan Cohen

This seems weird, giving it an eight, because really an eight is pretty good loft to the boundary, and this seemed far too derivative to be given this high accolade, nevertheless, in terms of personal enjoyment I was giggling all the way through and Will Ferrell's genius carries any weaknesses.

Somebody please tell me that the scriptwriters looked at Trading Places and thought “ We can't remake a film so perfect, so we will change a few cosmetic plot elements, leave loads of them in along with a couple of scenes, and not credit the original ”. The more I think about it the more blatant it becomes.

Whatever, If you like Will Ferrell, you will like this, If you like the juxtaposition of a fundamentally good, but privileged, ergo deluded white guy with a sassy, street wise, struggling brother, you will like this. I am struggling to prevent myself from a retrospective downgrade, but don't. I liked this!!!

The Gift
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Tue 11 August 2015

Starring: Jason Bateman with Joel Edgerton, Rebecca Hall
Director: Joel Edgeton

Absolutely cracking movie, with loads of respect for Joel Edgerton, who, if there was an Oscar Triathlon for writing, directing and acting would win! A $5 million budget (compared with the 100s you normally get) has put a film up which delivers suspense and mystery but without resorting to the paranormal, and if the devices it uses are pre-loved, they were impeccably re-packaged and, at least to me, seemed fresh and good to go. There were lots of questions unanswered, curiosity was piqued to say the least about the past and futures of the cast, Rebecca Hall looks like Emily Blunt, and Jason Bateman took his Paul role to the next level, and would sit with honour on any list of acting award nominees come the end of the year. But Joel Edgerton – wow, the new Alfred Hitchcock! Roll on The Gif2

The Godfather
1971 Mark: 8

Starring: Marlon Brando with Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton
Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Overrated. Very very good, but definitely not the best film ever. I reckon people say they love this because they want to be thought of as stand-up guys

Grace Of Monaco
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Tue 24 June 2014

Starring: Nicole Kidman with Tim Roth, Frank Langella
Director: Olivier Dahan

I would say that either I am missing something or the haters are wrong. This is a good, nay sweet, watch, starting out pretty much at the level of The Grace Kelly Story (It is difficult not to think of Lloyd Bridges as her father), but develops a fascinating story with fine turns and a cast you feel you get to know. Now it may be complete bollocks regarding factual accuracy, but that never stopped Argo from being recognised as a good film. The factual side of it intrigued me enough to eight it. Nicole Kidman is now on my shortlist for nominations for best actress (along with Shailene Woodley in The Fault In Our Stars )

The Grand Budapest Hotel
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 10 March 2014

Starring: Ralph Fiennes with F. Murray Abraham, Mathieu Amalric, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Jude Law, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Saoirse Ronan, Tilda Swinton, Tom Wilkinson, Owen Wilson, a DEFINITE but unmentioned George Clooney
Director: Wes Anderson (n)

This was just a great watch with a passable story, great lead characters, enjoyable humour, but absolutely exquisite pictures and a brilliant music soundtrack, with original stuff by Alexander Desplat (always liked him since The King's Speech ) and go out and get music from The Moscow Balalaika orchestra. What an absolute contrast in terms of vivid colour next to 300 (2) which I went to watch afterwards. Could easily be nominations for both actors, music, cinematography, costumes etc. and perhaps even film. It's what unlimited tickets are made for

The Hobbit 2: Desolation Of Smaug
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 13 December 2013

Starring: Martin Freeman with Ian McKellan etc
Director: Peter Jackson

OK Julia, first things first, this is a very good film. I liked number one more and I just thought this stretched the tale a little too much. I have read the book ten times, so I was always going to be critical

How To Train Your Dragon
2010 Mark: 8
Watched: Sat 27 December 2014

Starring: Jay Baruchel with Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, America Ferrera, Jonah Hill, T.J. Miller, Kristen Wiig, Christopher Mintz-Plasse.
Directors: Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois

Why didn't anybody tell me what a good film this was. The trailers to number 2 put me off seeing it, but I have to admit some aspects of this film were as good as it gets. Excellent dialogue, reasonable story, very identifiable characters, brilliant animation, these are good good good

In The Heat Of The Night
1966 Mark: 8

Starring: Sidney Poitier with Rod Steiger, Warren Oates
Director: Norman Jewison

Of its time I guess it was ground-breaking. The guy who plays the sheriff is real convincing

Indiana Jones 1; Raiders Of The Lost Ark
1981 Mark: 8

Starring: Harrison Ford with Karen Allen, Paul Freeman, John Rhys-Davies
Director: Stephen Speilberg

I know.. just an Eight. What what, you may ask, this is a classic. I agree absolutely, seminal scenes and dialogue, few films have carved a greater impact into the public consciousness. It is an absolute must see, but after the rolling rocks and the hats and the doors and the snakes and the music (and what superb music) it is still just a ripping yarn albeit a good one.

The Insider
1999 Mark: 8
Watched: Tue 15 January 2013

Starring: Russell Crowe with Al Pacino, Phillip Baker Hall, Christoper Plummer

These films crop up from time to time. True story, regular guy takes in the man.

It Happened One Night
1934 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 23 May 2014

Starring: Clarke Gable with Claudette Colbert
Director: Frank Capra

I am very glad I watched this for many reasons. Primarily it is a great film with a good, if not totally unpredictable story, and characters which now matter how reluctant I was, drew me in and engaged me!

Pertinently, for me, was an insight into film making in the 1930s – don't forget that there may have been people still making silent movies recently to this, yet the sound quality, in terms of soundtrack, effects and dialogue are, through my headphones on a lap top as good as you get nowadays. The film quality is as good as (you don't notice it's not in colour, and though I expected something that appeared 'primitive', it was not. It stands up on its own as a bit of solid entertainment.

My second favourite film, It's A Wonderful Life was directed by Frank Capra, as this was, and it dawned on me. , why have I not watched more of his? Give me a couple more, but it seems he is a master story teller.

I know now another reason why I didn't like Gone With The Wind ; By the time he made it Clarke Cable was thoroughly pissed off with the Rhett Butler character which in this film he delivers with freshness and genuine comedy.

Yes, many things are dated, but suggesting you should whack women once a day, smoking everywhere and drinking away your sorrows does conjure up an imagination of a less complicated society, which in a way is entertaining, though not deliberately!

The film was the first to win all five major Academy Awards (Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenplay)

Jersey Boys
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 23 June 2014

Starring: John Lloyd Young with Erich Bergen, Christopher Walken
Director: Clint Eastwood

Life is enhanced by life! I say this because I reckon that seeing this show only a couple of months ago, and then discovering the film was to be made and released, then actually watching it, has all jumbled up the pleasure of the story. Like the show, it is such good material that it would have been difficult to make a bad film about the subject. It complements the show though. Yes, there are repeat scenes, but not anything like enough to make it a copy. Omissions include Beggin' and the full version of Who Love's You (The latter being peculiar as it is the last number in the film proper). I think the mix on Can't Take my eyes Off You is overdone for the sax, but it is a great production number. Like 22 Jump street, the closing roll is a great touch. I found the Bobs very endearing, Erich Bergen (Gaudio) was very impressive, especially, if he did his own singing. I've never been a bug fan of the voice of Frankie Valli, nevertheless, Lloyd Young nails it, and might get a nomination for his performance, though I think critical disapproval of the film in general may weigh against him

The Kings's Speech
2010 Mark: 8 Wed 21 October 2015

Starring: Colin Firth with Geoffry Rush, Guy Pierce, Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Spall, Michael Gambon, Derek Jacobi
Director: Tom Hooper

The morning after I want to mark this less than an eight, which is why I should always grade my films immediately, even if I don't write anything down, 'cos this was a definite great film with everything one requires as compensation for not going to the cinema to watch the Back To The Future Triple header. One tends to remember the reverence to royalty rather than the humour and story telling, but the two male leads are just a terrific double act, and what the film loses in obsequieousness it gains in historical narrative. The Academy aren't a million miles off with this (though I would have picked Kick-Ass and a lot of people would have chosen Inception)

Laughter In Paradise
1951 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 3 September 2014

Starring: Alistair Sim with Fay Compton, Guy Middleton, George Cole, Joyce Grenfell, John Laurie, Audrey Hepburn
Director: Mario Zampi

Such a good film. You know I really like old school, this reminds me of Private Lives in that it seems so much more spontaneous with comedy I was cracking up over. It is sheer pantomime and I love it love it love it. I wonder if the more I watch Ealing Comedies the better they get? (PS its not an Ealing Comedy any more than My Man A Sweet Man is Motown)

A Little Chaos
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 30 April 2015

Starring: Kate Winslet with Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci, Helen McCrory, Matthias Schoenaerts, Steven Waddington, Pauline Moran
Director: Alan Rickman

Goodness, there are some excellent films to watch. This film definitely scores high on the feel-good factor, not totally unlike Cinderella (2015), which I watched the day before, it forms a sumptuous collage coupled with a rockin' cast to provide something artistic and satisfying.

An excellent film was taken to another level by the best score I have noticed since Grand Budapest Hotel (n.b. It was by a bloke called Peter Gregson, and it was his feature film debut. ONE TO WATCH (or listen too). Absolutely brilliant! Might be a good value bet for best score at the Oscars

Stanley Tucci never fails, and Kate Winslett. Nearly two decades after Titanic and she is still hot, but... she goes into this monologue about a rose and its ageing and I thought “ man that wouldn't half be appropriate if it was self-referential ” (given that she was Rose in Titanic )"

Looking For Eric
2009 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 1 May 2015

Starring: Steve Evets with Eric Cantona, John Henshaw
Director: Ken Loach

Ken Loach makes films like most of us make a cup of tea. There were some definite eyebrow raising precepts in the story, but what the hell!!! It was thoroughly enjoyable Funny, surprising, poignant. Steve Evets was rightly nominated at Cannes for best actor, and you can not not like Eric Cantona. Can't wait for the next film in the director's season that we are enjoying

Made In Dagenham
2010 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 7 February 2014

Starring: Bob Hoskins with Sally Hawkins, Miranda Richardson

I think a half decent hisorical/biographical film will always rate a six, just for quiz value (I love quizzes), but this one brings something else to the table, like a good old triumphal sports story it is an enjoyable watch. I don't know how much of this was real, but hey – story tellers so what story tellers do!

McFarland, USA
2015 Mark: 8 Watched Tue 29 September 2015

Starring: Kevin Costner
Director: Niki Caro

There is no escaping the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It is a Disney sports rags to riches story, and it is done well enough to quickly slash away my cynicism and pull me along on an escapist reflection on David and Goliath in which Kevin Costner is likeable and the rest of the cast magnetic in a cool runnings kind of way. It's formlaic, but it's a formula that works. There is also some 'based upon a true story' about it, which adds to it's value

Mean Girls
2004 Mark: 8
Watched: Tue 6 October 2015

Starring: Lindsay Lohan with Rachel McAdams, Tina Fey, Lacey Chabert, Lizzy Caplan, Daniel Franzese, Jonathan Bennett, Amanda Seyfried, Tim Meadows, Ana Gasteyer, Amy Poehler
Director: Mark Waters

I have got to memorise some of the dialogue from this film. Some portion into the film it was shaping up for a ten, and having said that it wasn't particularly broadsided at any point, it just set itself a very high standard to keep up with! I'd almost place it into that bracket of films that is a touchstone watch, one which in order to hold any converstion about comedic movies it really helps to have seen (Mark Laycock and I were talking about In Bruges, The Usual Suspects, Withnail and I )

" And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. ""

" Amen ""

Million Dollar Baby
2003 Mark: 8

Starring: Clint Eastwood with Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman
Director: Clint Eastwood

Two films, you just have to watch it to see what I mean

A Million Days To Die In The West
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 9 June 2014

Starring: Seth MacFarlane with Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, Liam Neeson
Director: Seth MacFarlane

I know this wasn't perhaps the best acted film ever, that the situation comedy may have been contrived, blah, blah blah, nevertheless I liked the cast, enjoyed the film, found it kind of believable, pretty funny and would love to watch shit like this all the live long day. I also think there were some genuinely touching moments, but what do I know?

Mirror Mirror
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 14 April 2014

Starring: Lily Collins with Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane, Sean Bean
Director: Tarsem Singh

What a guilty pleasure. There is not much to find wrong with this movie, and a great deal that is most praiseworthy. It won the costume Oscar, fair enough, if I were a girl I guess I would just love that aspect of it. For me it took a story we are all familiar with and gave it a huge slant without being disrespectful. Like Hook it delivered established characters with an interesting, but above all credible and amusing story. Julia Roberts, Nathan Lane and especially Armie Hammer were genuinely hilarious without resorting to shock or childishness. I would have to ask a six year old, but I presume it has its genuinely scary aspects as well, the surreality is like 60s Eastern European. I am sure the creators of the original story would approve entirely. Sumptuous, funny and credible. Good film.

PS Bean's late appearance does no harm whatsoever, and the Bolly end? – Brilliant!

Mrs. Miniver
1941 Mark: 8
Watched: Sat 5 July 2014

Starring: Greer Garson with Walter Pidgeon
Director: William Wyler

I let my guard down for this, therefore thoroughly enjoyed the stereotype characters and the general British Stiff Up Lip. Story above Cinematography makes this far more entertaining than Gone With The Wind

National Treasure 2; Book Of Secrets
2004 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 1 March 2013

Starring: Nick Cage with Sean Bean, Ed Harris, Helen Mirren, John Voight

Was this really an 8? – I can't remember

Non-Stop
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 5 March 2014

Starring: Liam Neeson with Lupita Nyong'o, Julianne Moore
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Ever since Airplane spelt the death knell of the blockbuster disaster movement it has been impossible to watch a smorgasbrod of humanity arrive at a terminal and load their lives and luggage onto an imperilled vehicle. Ah, that Elmer Bernstien music repeats over and over again, and you are just waiting for the old lady to translate jive for the air-hostess.

The Disaster Movie is Back! All the clichés are reunited and held together in a story which takes place almost entirely in the aircraft cabin, when a well gnarly Liam Neeson who has as much metephorical baggage as a man should not be allowed to bring within ten miles of an airport runs around between the bogs and the cockpit carrying the twists and turns of the plot along with the lives of the 150 passengers* (including the frightened 8 year old girl, the love interest, the muslims, the brothers, and the old lady (who probably speaks jive). Phew! I'm still hyper.

*149 – George Zip died this morning

Paddington
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 16 January 2015

Starring: Ben Wishaw with Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Julie Walters, Jim Broadbent, Peter Capaldi, Nicole Kidman, Matt Lucas
Director: Paul King

That turned out slightly better than I thought it would, and I thought I might enjoy it. I say I don't want to see animals farting... well it happened!, but I'll let it slide, as the film was kind of cool. I like stereotyping, and cute furry animals and Mrs Coulter and slapstick, and Paddington the bear was very believable as a part of the show, Hugh Bonneville was just right, as was his wife and I just enjoyed it. So there. Take the kids (I did hear gasps from some of them in the audience)."

The Parole Officer
2001 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 25 June 2014

Starring: Steve Coogan with Om Puri, Steven Waddington, Ben Miller, Emma Williams, Stephen Dillane, Lena Headey, Omar Sharif, Jenny Agutter, Simon Pegg
Director: John Duggan

August Rush effect! Looking back a couple of days to when I watched this film, I am picking holes in it. Why? It is a very British caper movie in the great tradition, and why be ashamed of that. I noticed that Lena Hedley (Queen Cersie) was in it. When I recognised Stephen Dillane (Stannis) as the main bad guy I was never going to not enjoy this film. Right now I think I have over-rated this film. When I had finished watching it I didn't think I had. Awww crap, I feel so guilty now, but I am not downgrading!

Passport To Pimlico
1949 Mark: 8
Watched: Sat 13 December 2014

Starring: Stanley Holloway with Margaret Rutherford, Charles Hawtry, Hermione Baddeley
Director: Henry Cornelius

I just love this kind of stuff. Why? There must be some nostalgia attatched, to see Picadilly Circus in 1949 after I've been there at least half a dozen times this year is really quite special. The acting is like Carleton Theatre group. That is NOT a bad thing, it's terrific that these guys exaggerate what nowadays would be nuance. The story is great, the consequences hilarious, the true ancestor of British film and TV humour, from Monty Python through to Peep Show. Would I rather watch this than The Battle Of The Five Armies (budget $250 million)? Damn right I would."

Patton
1970 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: George C Scott with Karl Malden, Michael Bates
Director: Franklin J. Schaffner

I don't know how accurate a portrayal of history this was. Even the real history was only that written by the victors, nevertheless, if you want a film to give you an insight into a person you didn't know that much about who has played a critical role in the scheme of things, don't watch Enigma. Watch this instead.

Pitch Perfect
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 21 May 2015

Starring: Anna Kendrick with Skylar Astin, Rebel Wilson, Anna Camp, Brittany Snow, Ester Dean, Alexis Knapp, Hana Mae Lee, Adam DeVine, John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks
Director: Jason Moore.

I loved it, so fuck all you haters. Good songs, well done, A disparate group of individuals are bought together to overcome the odds through music, exploring themselves along the way, overcoming challenges and ultimately coming through in a triumphant finale. The Blues Brothers without the blues and with 'sisters'

Raging Bull
1980 Mark: 8
Watched: Sat 19 September 2015

Starring: Robert De Niro with Cathy Moriarty, Joe Pesci, Nicholas Colasanto, Frank Vincent, John Turraturo Martin Scorsese

First off, if I was marking this film out of ten for quality rather than enjoyment it would ace a ten, not least because it has taken the stance of a real biography, as opposed to the hagiographies one tends to see, or the outright diss pieces which crop up. Now I know why Robert Di Nero is so highly regarded. This is arguably the best film performance I have seen from any actor or actress. He actually put on 60 lbs! All the accolades this film gets, as the best film of the 80s, one of the greatest films of all time, etc., are well deserved.

It gets a mere 8 from me because I felt so uncomfotable watching it, but not in a Borat, cringing kind of way. The fight scenes are brutal, apparently De Niro was extraodinarily good at boxing, and the carachters are all flawed, especially Jake LaMotta. There seems to absolutely no constraint in the laying bare of the life of a very dangerous and often unpleasant protagonist.

Joe Pesci, in his first film role was perfect, and I was so pleased to call John Turraturo (uncredited) sitting at a table for two seconds.

Do not ever imagine that Gascogoine, A Dangerous Game, Seve, or Grace come remotely close to this in terms of value. I enjoy cream doughnuts and a bottle of red wine as much or more than a Tuna Sub on brown bread with a light mayo. It doesn't mean they are better.

This film is an example of how to deliver a true story. Can't believe we never watched it sooner.

The Railwayman
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 12 January 2014

Starring: Colin Firth with Nicole Kidman, Jeremy Irvine, Stellan Skarsgård, Hiroyuki Sanada Jonathan Teplitzky

Another "message" film. It is almost four films as there are different threads, albeit of the same life, but whatever. This trumps 12 Years A Slave on several counts. The carachters are more representative of both sides of a conflict and all sides of human nature. It has, at least for me, a more satisfying resolution, a stronger narrative and it doesn't give the game away with the title. This film says any of these carachters could be you, whearas none of us would ever have been a kidnapper in 12 years, oh certainly not. So why is that film odds on for the Oscar?
You will require patience for this film, it can be very introspective, broody and British for considerable periods. It is not one to watch for light relief. Expect Colin Firth to be confident in his apparent lack of confidence on screen, forgive Nicole Kidman for ever going out with Tom Cruise, and Jeremy Irvine's portrayal of the young Arthur Lomax with any other best support contenders; you'd be forced to agree it stands up. This film seems to improve with hindsight. Go on then – **** !

Selma
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 9 February 2015

Starring: David Oyelowo with Tom Wilkinson, Tim Roth, Common, Carmen Ejogo, Oprah Winfrey, Cuba Gooding Jr., Giovanni Ribisi, Wendell Pierce, Dylan Baker, Martin Sheen
Director: Ava DuVernay

Welcome to 2015. What a welcome. This is an absolute blast, from start to finish. Humorous, yet with real respect for the genre. Eye popping action. A boxful of characters that delight everytime they light up the screen. Colin Firth is straight in as the target for the 2016 supporting actor. A dense script that surprises and entertains. I have not thought about much else for the last 8 hours, and am sad to say that this review may spoil your experience because you may expect too much given my gushing praise of it, but I’ve gotta be truthful! If you loved Kick-Ass this will not let you down. 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? Hey, I’m not alone. The film drips with class, is bursting with references and whether we like it or not, we love our movie-stars. Oh – the music rocks, the church scene was perfectly scored to Freebird, it... it... Oh I’m fucking speechless!

Seve
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 27 June 2014

Starring: Severaino Ballesteros
Director: John-Paul Davidson

It's awkward comparing this to fiction, in that the story is super-compelling, but is that only because of my personal investment in it? i.e. I do not know how this would hold up for a non-sports-fan. The 'movie' portions of this film are nice enough, location shooting, young Seve and his family move it along at an adequate lick, the original footage I've seen before, yet still it stands. This collation, in what is in effect a hagiography, albeit of someone commonly regarded as a saint, is excellent! Fuck it - it is really well done, and I was brushing away the tears at the end.

I've always thought Gary Player an astute academic, and when he says that Seve was easily the best golfer at the 1986 Masters I can accept that (though I thought it was Greg Norman, and Jack Nicklaus won anyway)

You know I went to the first showng and there was only one other bloke in the theatre? We are spoilt nowadays. And fuck the Daily Telegraph review.

Seven Psychopaths
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Fri 10 April 2015

Starring: Colin Farrell with Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Tom Waits, Abbie Cornish, Olga Kurylenko, Željko Ivanek, Harry Dean Stanton
Director: Martin McDonagh

In Bruges in Los Angeles. Sam Rockwell was just made for this role (as was Woody Harrelson and Colin Farrell and Christopher Walken). How can brutality be so hilarious? I guess it is like the cartoon element of Roadrunner violence and really nutty protagonists. Awesome

The Silence Of The Lambs
1990 Mark: 8

Starring: Anthony Hopkins with Jodie Foster
Director: Jonathan Demme

Solid 8

The Simpsons Movie
2007 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 10 May 2015

Starring: Dan Castellaneta with Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Tress MacNeille, Pamela Hayden, Tom Hanks
Director: David Silverman

The Simpsons did it. The film is up against some classic episodes, and despite being wonderful is, to a degree, a victim of the show's brilliance. I sat through and laughed out loud, thoroughly enjoyed it and was glad to re watch it (I remembered very little of it, apart from the spider pig song). Sitting at my desk five days later makes me ponder, is it really worth an eight?, but that was my thought at the time so it sticks

Singin' In The Rain
1952 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 26 January 2014

Starring: Gene Kelly with Debbie Reynolds, Donald O'Connor
Directors: Gene Kelly, Stanley Donen

Never realised how good Gene Kelly was. The spectacular thing about this film is the routines, and how they all seem like one shot. The plot is a vehicle for the numbers, nevertheless a reasonably entertaining ending to the film makes a kind of story to boot. I don't know why I never watched this classic before. Donald O'Connor was brilliant by himself, as a double act and a threesome.

Small Soldiers
1998 Mark: 8

Starring: Gregory Smith with Frank Langella, Kirsten Dunst, Tommy Lee Jones, George Kennedy, Jim Brown, Ernest Borgnine, Clint Walker, Bruce Dern, Denis Leary, Kevin Dunn, David Cross, Robert Picardo
Director: Joe Dante

Really enjoyed this back in the day. I guess I'm easily pleased. The sega game was great

Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home
1986 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 4 August 2014

Starring: William Shatner with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols, Catherine Hicks
Director: Leonard Nimoy

Well it's a classic in a classic world. The best of the early batch of Trek films, I reckon Leonard Nimoy made a film with real humour. Yes it's predictable and can be corny, nevertheless if you ask a bunch of people to come on for a fourth encore that is what you should expect.

Starred Up
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Sun 30 March 2014

Starring: Jack O'Connell with Ben Mendelsohn Rupert Friend
Director: David Mackenzie

I am in no position to judge the accuracy of portrayal of life inside a British prison, so I can only say that this is as convincing as it is brutal. I am sure that if I ever sort these films into order by personal rating I will look at films along side it and realise that they are nowhere near the quality of this one. I do mark on enjoyment value, both immediate and long-term, and I think this may rise on the latter criteria. Speaking of acting performances, I can think of no film I have watched where the ensemble are so absolutely as realistic as could be imagined. It is like they have taken real chavs and asked them to be in the film, rather than actors playing a role. Fuck it, I'm adding half a point right now.. :)

P.S. This will not be Jack O'Connell's last film. Fuck it, I'm adding another half.

Straight Outta Compton
2015 Mark: 8 Watched Tue 1 September 2015

Starring: O'Shea Jackson Jr. with Corey Hawkins, Aldis Hodge, Neil Brown Jr., Jason Mitchell, Paul Giamatti
Director: F. Gary Gray

Super bit of film, in fact super lotta film, as it is almost two and a half hours; when the end credits dropped I was surprised then disappointed in that I was so thoroughly captivated by it that I didn't think the time was up and I want more! Paul Giamatti was the only cast member I knew, but of the rest, they were awesome. Great story, fantastic music, yes, it was produced by the subjects and cannot avoid a hagiographic aspect, but it works as a slab of entertainment and a contribution to the knowledge. As a film describing the African-American condition this is every bit as good as Selma and, for me, better than 12 Years. O'Shea Jackson, Jr. IS Ice T! "

Suffragette
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Thu 15 October 2015

Starring: Carey Mulligan with Helena Bonham Carter, Meryl Streep, Ben Whishaw, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Sarah Gavron

This year's Pride. Altogether darker and much less fun, nevertheless a film where I was more interested how bad most people were than how good the protagonists were. I wonder if it makes a film more enjoyable if you really believe you would not be a total pussy in the same situation. Recommended for good story, good history, super acting, listen to the soundtrack, and not too much Meryl Streep.

This Is England
2006 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 30 March 2015

Starring: Stephen Graham with Thomas Turgoose, Joseph Gilgun, Jack O'Connell
Director: Shane Meadows

A high rating for a 'gritty' film. It is a case in point of acting and cinematagraphy being very subservient to story and characters, as this film is filmed in the dullest parts of Nottingham and Grimsby, with a cast of largely unknown actors who, in cases, seem almost like a local theatre company, nevertheless, kudos too them for making a most excellent film.

Like End Of Watch which I saw a couple of days ago, and Calvary, which I will see a few days from now, but I don't know that yet, it breaks negative stereotypes in ways can be sometimes uplifting. What I found also fascinating was the feel of the film. Shane Meadows has made this look not just like it was set in the '80's it looks like it was made in the 80s. I mean the closest film too it in terms of looks and feel is Rita, Sue, and Bob Too (What a film!) but this is mid 2000s. I expected an uncomfortable glorification of the skinhead culture. I got a great deal of insight into peoples problems and weaknesses.

I was left thinking “ Jack O'Connell would have suited this ”.. Ha. Lo and behold he was in it!. Look out for the acting star of Stephen Graham who has gone onto a string of great films and, damn, I wish I'd have spotted it.. Al Capone in Boardwalk Empire

Trainwreck
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 2 September 2015

Starring: Amy Schumer with Bill Hader, LeBron James, Chris Evert, Brie Larson, Tilda Swinton, Daniel Radcliffe, Marrisa Tomie, John Cena, Matthew Broderick
Director: Judd Apatow

Wow! Surprised to enjoy a rom com as much as this, it actually rocks, hard and long, there were times a third of the way through when I was toying with 8.5 for this, it was that good. A host of cool cameos, If there was a girlie award for writing and acting, Amy Schumer would be the winner. She is super hot without being a model, the dialogue is dope and yes, music does make moments. Not as zany as Vacation, yet it's seeming blend of humour and intelligence are, at least to me, most appealing. Serendipity eh?

Vacation
2015 Mark: 8 Watched Tue 1 September 2015

Starring: Ed Helms with Christina Applegate, Leslie Mann, Chris Hemsworth, Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo
Directors John Francis Daley/Jonathan M Goldstein

Literally a laugh-a-minute goof-fest, from start to finish, this, I discover, is a sequel, a re-make and a re-boot! I didn't have to be too self-conscious about laughing out loud as I was most definitely not alone. I was only slightly disappointed in that... Nah, that would be a spoiler alert, see if you can spot it. And yes.. (I'm thinking to myself) music does make moments. Excellent, so happy I saw it. I'm sorry that this is not a more coherent review, but it is a bonding road trip movie, and anything else would just give away the elements. I'm sure if you don't enjoy this at least a bit you can go and watch Metropolis or something, and ignore my reviews of American comedies in future.

Valkyrie
2007 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 19 August 2015

Starring: Tom Cruise with Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Eddie Izzard, Terence Stamp, Tom Wilkinson, Bernard Hill
Director: Brian Singer

Wow, what a film, what a story. This seemed like 35 minutes, it maintained my attention so completely, guys you were really pulling for, tremendous tension, and all a true story. You couldn'r write a yarn like it. Tom Cruise is officially OK now.

The Wolf Of Wall Street
2013 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 20 January 2014

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio with Jean duJardin, Matthew McConaghy, Jonah Hill
Director: Martin Scorsese

High expectations did not go unfulfilled. Only 8 though, in that it was a ripping film I could not help but think what a bucnch of pricks this film was glorifying. It was based on a book written by the protagonist, Jordan Belfort. This man basically stole from people, lied, and then grassed his own mates up. Do we really believe he was going to tell the truth with the story? Leonardo Di Caprio should get a best actor Oscar for this (though I haven't seen Dallas Buyers Club yet), but the Fed should get a reward

Woman In Gold
2015 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 6 May 2015

Starring: Helen Mirren with Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Brühl, Katie Holmes, Tatiana Maslany, Max Irons, Charles Dance, Elizabeth McGovern, Jonathan Pryce
Director: Simon Curtis

Very solid bout of enjoyment, I think I am now officially mainlining movies. I look at the crop of films on this first week in May of 2015 and realise that each of them, that I have seen brings something to the table. Helen Mirren will get a nod for best actress, the film might not, but I sat for two hours and was sucked in to the David & Goliath story. I do feel uncomfortable that the tale may sanctify the protagonists a tad, nevertheless, taken with a pinch of salt it is a stand-alone adventure which gave me a wide-a-wake Wednesday. Good quiz shit in it as well, with the art, music, history and geography of the piece.

The picture is Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I by Gustav Klimt.

Wreck-It Ralph
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Wed 5 July 1905

Starring: John C Reilly
Director: Rich Moore

Solid animated entertainment

X-Men 7: Days Of Future Past
2014 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 16 June 2014

Starring: Hugh Jackman with James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Nicholas Hoult, Shawn Ashmore, Peter Dinklage, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart
Director: Bryan Singer

Yep. This worked. Time displacement, I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more, it's an unbeatable premise! About the only error I can think of in this film is that Doc Browns speech from the end of 3 was not repeated Ad Vebatim. Tyrion Lannister LOL. Jennifer Lawrence – awesome. Hugh Jackman – ripped. James McAvoy was perfect to tell you the truth. Where was Stan Lee?

Your Highness
2011 Mark: 8
Watched: Mon 12 May 2014

Starring: James Franco with Danny McBride, Charles Dance, Nathalie Portman, Toby Jones, Damien Lewis, Zooey Deschanel
Director: David Gordon Green

I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy this, but it did the trick. Danny McBride made just a fine job of writing himself in this one, playing Kenny Powers in medival tunics, and basically allowing the absurdity of the dialogue and James Franco's niceniceness to win crush one into submissionr, providing a superb contrast between realistic cynicism and absolute fairy tale naivity. Tywin Lannister plays Charles Dance to perfection. If you like this you might enjoy . This is the first time I have lifted somebody else's review. Roger Ebert gave the film one star out of four, calling it "juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs and four-letter words." - Fuck yeah!

Zero Dark Thirty
2012 Mark: 8
Watched: Sat 11 July 2015

Starring: Jessica Chastain with "Jason Clarke, Joel Edgerton "
Director: Kathryn Bigelow

Another of those films which would rate even higher were I judging on merit as opposed to enjoyment. Challenging, unapologetic, exciting, a whole slew of superb performances, not least the sound guy (who won the Oscar), intellectual, informative, the superlatives go on. This IS a better film than Bigelow’s Oscar winner The Hurt Locker.

Kes
1969 Mark: 8.1
Watched: Fri 16 October 2015

Starring: David Bradley with Lynne Perrie, Colin Welland, Brian Glover, Duggie Brown
Director: Ken Loach

100% on Rotten Tomatoes, In my mate Keith's top 3, and I can see why. As Julia pointed out it's not so much a story as a snapshot. It's a film which I have never seen, and it didn't let me down. I am not sure but I think a lot of it may have been Ken Loach saying hey, this is how stupid we all are.

American Hustle
2013 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Sat 18 January 2014

Starring: Christian Bale with Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Renner, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert Di Nero
Director: David O. Russell

A thought provoking film, in that though I imagine that actually going to the cinema enrichens a film, I consider that this one might stand up almost as well at home. Me Julia and the bloke I spoke to on the way out were not particularly enthusiastic about it, the guy said "I don't see how it would get all the awards" (Best comedy/musical film, actress and supporting actress at The Golden Globes last week, January 2014). I disagree. I'd almost cite it as the best comedy I have seen this year, as though it is not overtly hilarious, there are several LOL moments (whoops, I forgot about The Legend Continues for a moment there). Mr Banks or Frozen would get best musical, but... The soundtrack which is largely derivative is as good a soundtrack of that type, starting with Steely Dan's Dirty Work, followed by pre-lame big band Chicago, even featuring the awesome but critically underrated ELO twice.

Anyhow. Best actress and supporting actress would get my nod, though I don't know who was better, the super sexy pouty lipped sweeet Amy Adams, or the dishevelled slutty borderline nut job that Jennifer Lawrence absolutely nails. Fuck, I even like Hunger Games more now. Christian Bale?? best actor 2013 for me. It has been nominated for all four acting categories at the Oscars. If there were five it would not be undeserved.

I went in with a weight of expectation tempered by reservations I had heard. There was no need to worry. It was just a great long solid story with a superb cast, not quite the denouement of The Sting but then I do believe it was based on facts (it says "Some of this actually happened") at the start of the film. Consequently there may be some understandable disappoint if you expect a conventional story arc that resolves itself satisfactorally – it doesn't do that, but I don't want to say too much about the actual tale told. If you have a choice between this and 12 years get a Subway, three cookies for a quid and watch this (then go and watch 12 and slate me for being shallow and racist)

DASH!! I just knew it was Robert De Niro as Victor Tellegio. Last Vegas and this have officially redeemed him (I've been to Wikipedia).

Annie
2014 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Mon 29 December 2014

Starring: Quvenzhané Wallis with Jamie Foxx, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale, Cameron Diaz, David Zayas
Director: Will Gluck

OMG. I feel like such a faggot, I didn't like this.... I LOVED IT. I can't believe how something produced by Will Smith and Jay Z came out so well for me (perhaps they cancelled each other out). It is years since I saw the musical, so I am not familiar with all but the two most famous songs, which perhaps suspended my negativity I might have had about the music. It IS as corny as corn can be, it is a shock to see Jamie Foxx singing, it is curiously synced, there is a deal about the happy natives playing banjos in the sun about this film, it IS materialistic, but anybody who claims not to aspire to materialism is about as truthful as a straight guy who says he doesn't find a Tracy Lords centrefold attractive (after he has found out she was 15). It provides for me an excellent contrast to the film I watched two hours afterwards Under The Skin which, unlike Annie received huge acclaim from many critics, yet just didn't do it anything like a much for me. It is the world is shit so I want a distraction syndrome for me I think. For most people it's the world is 'hey fantastic, now say boo to me'

Oh... Cameron Diaz was really good in this (I never thought I would say that)"

Argo
2012 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Mon 24 February 2014

Starring: Ben Affleck with John Goodman, Brian Cranston, Bob Gunton, Alan Arkin
Director: Ben Affleck

You can teach a rhesus monkey to be a director in a day.

Worth the plaudits, thoroughly interesting and with a grip that tightens as the film unfolds. Always been a fan of Ben Affleck's (thanks to Kevin Smith) and with the historical angle* it is just so much more nail baiting than, for instance, Gravity. The cast convince and we'll let 'em off the Independence Day moment at the end. The quote at the top, by the way, is spoken to Ben Affleck – his reaction is just perfect. He now holds two of my best of film things – best statement of unrequited love ( Chasing Amy ) and most subtle break through the fourth wall.

*P.S. I read that there is a lot of fiction in this film!

The Book Thief
2014 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Thu 20 March 2014

Starring: Sophie Nélisse with Emily Watson, Geoffrey Rush, Roger Allam, Ben Schnetzer

I've took this off 9 to put on 8.5. Its a close thing and I'm filled with angst about doing that. I am sure it would be many people's 10.

It is rare to get a film that does not stereotype groups of people (just watch Twelve Years A Slave, If Brad Pitt hadn't bought into it, the whole of White America were all bastards). Spoiler alert. This film shows many Germans during the second world war in a thoroughly convincing sympathetic light, and is consequently most uplifting despite.... 'nuff said. Could this be an all time young actress nomination? Beautiful film.

nb. The critics of this film, and they are numerous, invariable latch upon the kindness portrayed in it. I am sure they would be much happier if all Germans were goose stepping Jew Baiters (and this film has it's share of them), and I would bet my house they spunked buckets over 12 years. There is nobody as cynical as myself as to the shortcomings of humanity, nevertheless I do harbour hope in some innate goodness. Ask yourself, what would happen now. I know that 11 out of 12 teachers would either not do anything or positively side with their superior when witness to that superior doing something very demonstrably wrong. But I do know that for these 11 there might be one non teacher who would stand up and point it out. Bitch.

Crash
2004 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Mon 4 August 2014

Starring: Don Cheadle with Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, Jennifer Esposito, Michael Peña, Brendan Fraser, Terrence Howard, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Thandie Newton
Director: Paul Haggis

I can see why people just love this film. An ensemble cast and intertwined stories illustrate humanity and philosophy in all their glorious and frustrating facets. For a film without a particular hook I found it fascinating, and given the 48 hour hiatus have to mark it higher than Star Trek 4, even in terms of enjoyment level. You see I guess the enjoyment I get post film adds to the total, just like going to an Open Golf course. Does that make sense?

Here is the original review I made for this film, which is just an indication how inconsistent I can be

Mark: 5

I am writing this quite a long time after I've seen the film, and I think I may watch it again as I am beginning to imagine it may have been worth a tad more than I remember. Stellar cast!

The Edge Of Tomorrow
2014 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Mon 9 June 2014

Starring: Tom Cruise with Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton, Brendan Gleeson
Director: John Wells

This was excellent! Didn't expect it to be half as good, but it turned out to be a ripping yarn, with great, even believable carachters. I have reviewd thisalready and it has disappeared. I remember cos I said it was Pacific Rim meets Groundhog Day in Europe. And it is

Fantastic Mr Fox
2009 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Sun 16 March 2014

Starring: George Clooney with Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Willem Dafoe, Michael Gambon, Jarvis Cocker, Brian Cox, Adrien Brody, Wes Anderson
Director: Wes Anderson

I'm getting spoilt. This is beautifully constructed, So obviously stop-go, yet you forget it is, becoming immersed in this absolutely believable world of anthropomorphic creatures. As good a soundtrack as you'll get from two aspects, in that the song choice is constantly surprising and highly eclectic, and Alexander Desplat is the composer of the moment for me with the original tunes. And the detail, the glorious detail. You could sit and look at one frame for two hours!

Finding Neverland
2004 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Mon 8 April 2013

Starring: Johnny Depp with Kate Winslett, Dustin Hoffman, Ian Holme, McKenzie Crook
Director: Marc Forster

Breathes the same air as Big Fish. It had teas welling, especially fond because of the legend. Couldn't help thinking of Hook, the children, the book, really awesome story, the triumph of hope and belief. :)

Good Morning Vietnam
1987 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Sun 16 March 2014

Starring: Robin Williams with Forrest Whitaker
Director: Barry Levinson

A beautiful film by one of my favourite directors. It is incredibly difficult to convey spontaneous humour to a film (see Martin and Lewis, eeeuw!) yet this film succeeds despite that and Robin Williams. You see Robin Williams can occasionally deliver the irony, the poignancy, and his best pitch at that is within this film, while he is entertaining the guys in the traffic convoy (sniff :(). Comedic, thought provoking, did this film pave the way for a retro soundtrack starring in a film? (Personally I don't particularly like that, nevertheless I don't remember many films before this being vehicles for classic Raaack or R&B)

The Help
2011 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Tue 20 October 2015

Starring: Viola Davis with Emma Stone, Octavia Spencer , Bryce Dallas Howard, Jessica Chastain, Ahna O'Reilly, Chris Lowell, Sissy Spacek, Mike Vogel, Cicely Tyson, LaChanze, Allison Janney, Mary Steenburgen, Anna Camp
Director: Tate Taylor

Mean Girls for grown-ups. What is there not to just love about terrific films? I'm sure that 90% of films I watch have a pretty close mark within 3 minutes, you can just tell they are going to be good from the timing, the music, the pictures, the acting. This was going to have had to screw up royally after not a particularly outstanding beginning, more just a damn near perfect step into a bath that was exactly the right temperature. Thomas Newman's music was beautifully folksy, and only two nominations for best actress/supporting actress??? There could have been at least five. I like this civil rights film more than 12 Years and Selma, because it seems to be more readily identifiable with today. That cast. Walt Disney studios. My goodness films are good nowadays.

(Of couse there were quite a lot of disses for it's 'White Saviour' narrative, but really, it was Jackson in the 50s and 60s, how else would one frame the story?)

In Bruges
2008 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Wed 14 May 2014

Starring: Colin Farrell with Brendan Gleason, Ralph Fienes
Director: Martin McDonagh

This turned out good! Laid back hilarious, brilliantly acted by all participants decent story. I didn't really know what to expect but what I got was an x rated First Loves type film, in which the two hit men, despite doing terrible things are completely endearing. Makes me want to visit Belgium.

This is a rare bird in that I have to up its score by 1/2 after I watched it for the second time. I AM going to Belgium. I realise now that there is a great deal of Withnail in this film

Indiana Jones 3; The Last Crusade
1989 Mark: 8.5

Starring: Harrison Ford with Sean Connery, Denholm Elliot
Director: Stephen Speilberg

As TTOD had a great start, this films closing credits are run over the perfect finish to a film. Its not Rocket science. This has the funniest lines of the four India Jones films, ("No Ticket!") and err..

Lucy
2014 Mark: 8.5
Watched: Wed 27 August 2014