Steve Kidd's Review Pages

2016 Films

10 Cloverfield Lane

Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, John Gallagher, Jr., Bradley Cooper
Director: Dan Trachtenberg

I've seen plenty worse sci-fi horror movies. This was quite enjoyable to sit through, even though, in retrospect it was so full of holes, but at least they didn't spoil a great performance from John Goodman in an interesting situation. A real plus for this film is you never knew quite which way it was going to go. (Until the end when she turned right)

Alice Through The Looking Glass

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Rhys Ifans, Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen, Alan Rickman, Stephen Fry, Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall
Director: James Bobin

One where I got put off by the pre-publicity. I was sat thinking "wow I'm impressed" at several junctures of this film, and I hope it gets recognised in some of the technical categories. I bought into the Mia Wasikowska Alice big time, it took 60 seconds but really, forget the billing order, she is the absolute star of this. Anybody could have done the other parts (which were done well but relied almost entirely on CGI and make-up. That's not to diss 'em, that is just a statement of probable fact. The story might have been more understandable with a hefty dose of acid, but having said that, I 'got it' and loved the way I did not recognise an iota of the narrative. Kudos for a better take on the hundred year old children's novel than Pan

"The Angry Birds Movie "

Starring: Jason Sudeikis, Josh Gad, Danny McBride, Maya Rudolph, Kate McKinnon, Sean Penn, Tony Hale, Keegan-Michael Key, Bill Hader, Peter Dinklage
Director: Clay Kaytis, Fergal Reilly

Colourful, but ultimately lacking in original story or empathic characters.

Bad Neighbours 2

Starring: Zac Efron, Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Chloë Grace Moretz, Dave Franco
Director: Nicholas Stoller

Aww! There is so little to dislike about this film, once it has sucked you in (I am easily sucked in) it is classic American stoner comedy, like Trainwreck, Daddy's Home or any amount of offerings of the same genre, this is just a fine escape, which you might forget in a decade but you enjoy now

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Starring: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Jeremy Irons, Holly Hunter
Director: Zack Snyder

Glad I saw it. Good, but disappointing in that it was overcooked. It could have been three films with a bit more patience and development, and been a real set of stories rather than a two hour edition of Power Rangers. The cast were good, the premise fantastic, the action typical, but the science doubtful. It was like the stock characters outlined at the beginning of Deadpool have all been put here (apart from Jeremy Irons not being a criminal).

Batman has always delivered crazy villains with humour. Superman likewise, with the bad guys getting more and more deranged throughout the tale. It's a great trope. Jessie Eisenberg, though suitably deranged and malevolent is like that from the get go, he hasn't been given enough "I want to be accepted" to work with. Whatever. Go and see it, but don't expect Batman Begins.

Amy Adams, if you ever read this, I love you, but am not sure if your beauty and sweetness is just an on-screen persona, or the real you. If you are ever in Yorkshire and would like a date, we could take the dog for a walk, catch a movie, share a bottle of wine, whatever, just to see how it goes.

The BFG (2016)

Starring: Mark Rylance, Ruby Barnhill, Penelope Wilton, Jemaine Clement, Rebecca Hall, Rafe Spall, Bill Hader
Director: Steven Spielberg

Thoroughly thouroughly enchanting film. Having said that, it has been pointed out that it lacks some of the edge of the book. Fortunately I'm senile and forgetfull, and just marvelled at the superb CGI, and the remarkable treatment of gravity. Like it says, its a collaboration between three of the greatest storytellers the world has known so it would be hard to cock it up, and how far wrong can you go with the magnifecent Mark Rylance?

Captain America 3: Civil War

Starring: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Tom Holland, William Hurt, Daniel Brühl
Directors: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Wow! I can imagine many a ten year old walking out of this imagining he had seen the best film of his little life. Good story, great protagonists, engrossing action, MCU just gets better

Dad's Army

Starring: Toby Jones, Bill Nighy, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Tom Courtenay, Michael Gambon, Blake Harrison, Daniel Mays, Bill Paterson, Mark Gatiss, Emily Atack, Alison Steadman, Holli Dempsey, Annette Crosbie, Frank Williams, Ian Lavender
Director: Oliver Parker

There's is a great deal to dislike about this film, but a lot more to like. Catherine Zeta Jones is easy to root against, it is extraordinarily clichéd, the laughs are cheap, like watching a one and a half hour special of Last Of The Summer Wine, and I did nod off during parts of it. If you are fan of the original series who is expecting a whole new angle you are doomed to disappointment. If you didn't like the original series, you will hate this!. Having got all that out of the way, It is a faithful homage to the original, it had a lot of people laughing out loud in the cinema (which I found annoying, but nevertheless, that's my problem), It was filmed in God's county, which was a huge plus for me, and though Pike, Jones, Fraser and Walker were decent subs for the originals without ever exceeding the distinct framing of the original actors, Bill Nighy, Michael Gambon and especially Toby Jones just did a perfect job. Don't expect Saving Private Ryan!

Deadpool

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T. J. Miller, Gina Carano, Brianna Hildebrand, Stefan Kapicic
Director: Tim Miller

Short on story, long on special effects and loaded with humour, Ryan Reynolds, like Paul Rudd in Antman is given a great script to work with in this cool addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I forgot to write it up immediately, could someone remind me what happened?

Demolition

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Naomi Watts, Chris Cooper, Judah Lewis
Director: Jean-Marc Vallée

An interesting look at Americans who are so rich they can squander during their episodes of Neuroses (a Chris Cooper specialty). A good film that even already, four hours after watching, seems to be fading in the memory.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Jeff Daniels, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort, Zoë Kravitz, Maggie Q, Ray Stevenson, Daniel Dae Kim, Bill Skarsgard, Octavia Spencer, Naomi Watts
Director: Robert Schwentke

Not my cup of tea. It kept me awake, but exactly like the last Maze Runner I watched, I can't really pin down what is happening in the series. I mean there was plenty to look at, and nothing so cringing as to make me want to leave early, but i think a world populated by 16-27 year olds with a smattering of kids and the isolated oldie for wisdom or hate would have more appeal to a world populated by 12-21 year olds etc etc.

Eddie The Eagle

Starring: Taron Egerton, Hugh Jackman, Christopher Walken, Mark Benton, Keith Allen, Tim McInnerny, Jim Broadbent
Director: Dexter Fletcher

What a thoroughly enchanting film! If you don't like this you really need to loosen up a little. It takes every cliché in the book and delivers them with perfect, unassuming, shameless, confident panache. 90% of it is fiction, but it does what storytellers do. You go to the cinema to escape, and this takes you there in a glorious, fist pumping, tear wiping, you know what's coming next but that's what you want anyway, slab of true British comedy, distilling the finest aspects from every underdog story ever made.

I feel like such an idiot... Dexter Fletcher directed Sunshine On Leith. There is a pattern here!

"At these Games, some competitors have won gold, some have broken records, and some of you have even soared like an eagle."

Fifty Shades Of Black

Starring: Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Jane Seymour, Fred Willard
Director: Michael Tiddes

I really like it when a film gets panned by the critics and I love it! This movie, a parody of Fifty Shades Of Gray and half a dozen other films, so needed making, and it did the job perfectly, lampooning not just the original, but echoing all my criticisms of it (e.g.. re: 'anal' and 'fisting', see my review). I thought the acting was hilariously accurate, and really, Kali Hawk just nailed Dakota Johnson absolutely. You have to watch them both. There was a bloke could not stop chuckling about 5 yards away from me. It was infectious. Brilliant!

Finding Dory

Starring: Ellen DeGeneres, Albert Brooks, Ed O'Neill, Diane Keaton, Eugene Levy, Kaitlin Olson, Ty Burrell, Idris Elba, Dominic West, Bob Peterson, Andrew Stanton, Bill Hader, Sigourney Weaver, John Ratzenberger, Willem Dafoe
Director: Andrew Stanton

Although nothing absolutely outstanding is bought to the table here, this is a competent enough movie. We see frying pans and fires and protagonists finding themselves along the way, kinda cute faces and habits and dialogue, recycled music from American Beauty by Thomas Newman, wonderful 3d animation, but it's not quite got that 'magic'. If you like animations you will probably like this, but don't expect too much above Finding Nemo

Florence Foster Jenkins

Starring: Meryl Streep, Hugh Grant, Simon Helberg, Nina Arianda, Rebecca Ferguson
Director: Stephen Frears

As I Saw The Light was less than I expected, this was a great deal more. All the three main actors have the potential to irritate, but, just as with Philomena, is it perhaps Stephen Frears carries the some credit for a triangle of absolutely superb performances, each of the protagonists increasing endearment throughout this absolutely super film. This is what storytellers do, with the added bonus that it puts a spotlight on a fascinating person from history. The love angle is incredibly refreshing, original, counter intuitive yet deeply satisfying, and for a film which might be termed a musical, the approach to the score and songs is amazing - watch it to see what I mean. Aside from numbers in which Streep/Florence sings, all the way through I am thinking "wow, this soundtrack is outstanding". Alexander Desplat - again, wow, he is awesome

The Forest

Starring: Natalie Dormer, Taylor Kinney
Director: Jason Zada

I stayed for the majority of this film, the jumps were done quite well, but it depends so heavily on human stupidity and so little on story that... It's just not my cup of tea. I'm off to Wikipedia now to see how it all ended - That's saved me 30 minutes

Ghostbusters (2016)

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Chris Hemsworth, Andy García, Charles Dance, Michael Kenneth Williams, Ed Begley Jr., Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Ozzy Osbourne
Director: Paul Feig

Is this the most disappointing film I have ever seen? It is probably not the worst, though it could easily win this year's Golden Raspberry; it is just heartbreaking to see an absolutely classic film from one's yoof turned into something so much less. Kirsten Wiig is watchable, Melissa McCarthy delivers the kind of role you fear she will after you have seen one of her trailers and everything else swings from being a waste of time to abhorrent. Notable negatives include the reliance upon The Nitpicker's guide to Star Trek Technobabble generator, and the morphing of Jar Jar Binks into two different characters, one the comedic disaster half, the other the happy natives playing banjos in the sun stereotype, both 'halves' actually performing an exponential magnification of the eww factor, making Jillian and Patti at least 4 times more annoying than the clumsy, well-meaning Gungan outcast.

The thing is, given the tools at their disposal, the film makers could have made something terrific. Great franchise, sweet concept, New York locations, practically unlimited budget, available talent, how could they even do this? I'm actually angry! They even had Bill Murray, but not as Venkman! He was an old professor, but a different character, identical in demeanour, who seemed shoehorned in for no purpose whatsoever and then defenestrated without having contributed dick to the story. As each minute ticks by my opinion of this film sinks. I left after about an hour, I wish it had never been made. Yes I'm racist, yes I'm a misogynist, but I beg for films to illuminate and amuse me, and perhaps influence me to making better choices. This just makes it worse.

Grimsby

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Rebel Wilson, Penélope Cruz, Isla Fisher, Gabourey Sidibe
Director: Louis Leterrier

Fuck Terry Wogan and Dame Judy.. Sacha Baron Cohen IS a national treasure, (as is Mark Strong), once again delivering a full on slapstick, head holding, cringingly funny, no-holds barred comedy, but most importantly, a satire with the focus of the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory. I am not allowing myself to give tens anymore, until I have had some 'come-down' time to reflect. My immediate reaction was ten. I loved it, and if you have a ninth of a brain, you will love it too.

N.b. So good I watched it twice!

Hail Caesar!

Starring: Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Jonah Hill, Scarlett Johansson, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum, Michael Gambon, Jack Huston, Dolph Lundgren
Directors: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

I walked out of this film thinking that it was the best film I had seen since... Grimsby (which I watched last week). I think it may be the best 'drama' film I have seen since Birdman. I know, it's more of a comedy (the humour is spot on), it's just not an out and out comedy, in that it contains some weirdly theatrical and brilliant set pieces, along with a deeply sympathetic, super hard, incredibly efficient, admirable, loving, and all-round heroic hero in Eddie Mannix (Brolin). Coupled with the 'a lot to like' about this film, there is a 'nothing to dislike' tag. I reckon it is a real film-lovers film - it, apparently, scores poorly with audiences (especially 50+ males!). A huge cast, that as individuals would carry a lot of movies solo, a surprise every 5 minutes, and not only will Roger Deakins at last get his Oscar for this (13 nominations for cinematography), I would be very happy if the whole movie did a Grand Budapest Hotel and gets many nominations and awards come ten months hence. It will not/is not the film I will most enjoy this year. If it is the best film I see all year, I would not be surprised. Do NOT believe any review which tells you the Coen brothers are dissing their industry in any way, size, shape or form. It is a labour of love, a total, respectful, incredibly well put-together homage to a golden age, which whilst acceding to that time's many faults, fundamentally illustrates why we tell stories. Watch this and Saving Mr Banks for a bit of explanation and a load of fun.

Hangmen

Starring: David Morrisey
Writer: Martin McDonagh

This was one of those stage productions beamed to the cinema, and though I enjoyed it, the atmosphere was two points less than the real thing, and the story, dialogue etc, was two points off In Bruges It was good, but not good enough to justify £8 with an Unlimited Card when Star Wars was on for free

A Hologram For The King

Starring: Tom Hanks, Alexander Black, Sarita Choudhury, Ben Whishaw
Director: Tom Tykwer

Well I loved it! It caught me at the end of a great day, so it really would have to have been Walking On Sunshine 2, starring Keith Lemmon for me not to have enjoyed it, nevertheless there were a slew of plusses which would, for me, stand scrutiny.

The analogy regarding the CIA (watch the film)

It seems like the people who made it went all in on Tom Hanks, and the gamble paid off, at least aesthetically. It would have had to be one of the best 100 films I have seen to better Saving Mr Banks. It was a helluva lot more enjoyable than Captain Phillips and that was half decent.

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How To Be Single
2016 Mark: 5
Watched: Wed 16 March 2016

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Rebel Wilson, Alison Brie, Leslie Mann
Director: Christian Ditter

Left after half an hour. I already know. (How To Be single). I don't doubt that if you like Friends, and have never seen Rebel Wilson in a film before you will like this, but there was nothing new in it for me. Still better than Gone With The Wind!

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I Saw The Light
2016 Mark: 6.7
Watched: Sun 8 May 2016

Starring: Tom Hiddlestone, Elizabeth Olsen
Director: Marc Abraham

Tom Hiddlestone was really good, the film a little disappointing. I would have preferred to see more music biography and less music. It seemed a little like a hagiography. Shame really :(

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Ice Age 5: Collision Course
2016 Mark: 6.3
Watched: Mon 18 July 2016

Starring: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Keke Palmer, Jennifer Lopez, Simon Pegg, Nick Offerman, Jessie J, Neil deGrasse Tyson
Director: Mike Thurmeier

I would love Martin Pampel to watch this and highlight all the references/rip offs, from Chuck Jones Road Runners. That is a compliment, the gag timing was excellent. Apart from that it had the audience giggling, if not even guffawing, and I found it kind of watchable. I would suggest that unashamed lack of science is a more noble aspect of filming than pretense to it (I am thinking of The Good Dinosaur here), and allthough i find these things sometimes irksomely cutie, I think that may be my cynicism, I mean, there are only so many tricks in the storyteller's bag, and Iguess one might become innurred to some of them. There are plenty worse films for yopu to take your kids to see

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Independence Day: Resurgence
2016 Mark: 5.8
Watched: Tue 5 July 2016

Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Jessie Usher, Maika Monroe, Sela Ward, Judd Hirsch, Brent Spiner, William Fichtner
Director: Roland Emmerich

OK if you like this kind of thing. The whole principle is back to front and the stupid triumphalism is so playgroundy. Geoff Goldblum gets on my tits and Liam Hemsworth has done so much better. I guess it could have been worse. I stayed 'till the end, which it probably did not merit, and I have forgotten it already!

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Jason Bourne
2016 Mark: 6.9
Watched: Wed 10 August 2016

Starring: Matt Damon, Tommy Lee Jones, Alicia Vikander, Vincent Cassel, Julia Stiles, Riz Ahmed
Director: Paul Greengrass

Well you get lots of bangs for bucks here. Normally bangs for bucks is a metaphor for good return on investment, but in this case I mean it literally! Apparently Matt Damon has less than 300 words in the whole film, but I wouldn’t have noticed. The action was an end in itself, and they didn’t call the bad guy Reg or Olav or anything like that, he was “the asset”. It was good action, but not good enough to rate this as more than adequate; for the fan it may have been more of a trip

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The Jungle Book (2016)
2016 Mark: 6.8
Watched: Tue 10 May 2016

Starring: Neel Sethi, Bill Murray, Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba, Lupita Nyong'o, Scarlett Johansson, Christopher Walken, Garry Shandling, Jon Favreau
Director: Jon Favreau

Disappointing. Not terrible by any stretch of the imagination, and if CGI is what your looking for, I have never seen better, but... When Disney did the original cartoon I went to the cinema five times in the week it was on. But we are not here to talk about the original, with it's absolutely everlasting songs in their definitive versions, the superb casting of Sterling Holloway, Phil Harris, Sebastian Cabot, George Sanders and Louis Prima, the mesmerising emotions, innocent and simple philosophy and timeless humour.

Like Pan, this didn't need doing. And Shere Kahn was right all along.

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Keanu
2016 Mark: 7.8
Watched: Mon 18 July 2016

Starring: Jordan Peele, Keegan-Michael Key, Method Man, Nia Long, Will Forte
Director: Peter Atencio

I saw four films today and this was the stand-out one. So, so much more fun than Ghostbusters, it has everything, car chases, posturing, buddies, redemption and a cute little kitten. Loved it!

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The Legend of Tarzan
2016 Mark: 7
Watched: Sun 10 July 2016

Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Samuel L. Jackson, Margot Robbie, Djimon Hounsou, Jim Broadbent, Christoph Waltz
Director: David Yates

So lets say all the execs are sitting 'round the table saying "what can we reboot?" and some bright spark says "Tarzan!" After some brainstorming they decide to get somebody who's ripped to play Tarzan, an FHM top tenner to play Jane, who can we have for a malevolent and heartless northern European? Ah yes Christopher Waltz, and hell, its set in 1889 but lets give Samuel L Jackson a part. Let's put loads of good looking CGI, and make sure we don't have any women talking to each other and the goodies win, and lets have a bit of broody and rewarded romance and - bingo. Hope I've not given too much away. In the vein of The Mummy this is harmless, predictable and fun eye candy.

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London Has Fallen
2016 Mark: 6.8
Watched: Thu 3 March 2016

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Alon Moni Aboutboul, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster, Melissa Leo, Radha Mitchell, Charlotte Riley
Director: Babak Najafi

A quite excellent opening 40 minutes, I thought I was going to mark it higher. The second half of the film was just a shoot-em-up which got mundane after a while. I do find Gerard Butler very watchable, and its funny in a Team America way, but I actually think it is meant to be, so don't go if you want anything too cerebral, but if you like gunfire and explosions I am sure you will like this. Fuck yeah!

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Me Before You
2016 Mark: 7.8
Watched: Thu 9 June 2016

Starring: Emilia Clarke, Sam Claflin, Jenna Coleman, Charles Dance
Director: Thea Sharrock

One of the most surprising films I have seen, not necessarily in the narrative or production, but in the reaction it has elicited with me. First the film: I thought it would be a walk-out, but there was nothing else on so I thought "give it a chance". After two minutes I was looking around to pick up my belongings but... it ended up kind of working for me as a piece of entertainment if not more. Despite Emilia Clarke seeming to be gunning for a Razzie, and despite the girly bait (shoes, fashion, handsome guy, lurve, heroinism), it really worked. It has a lot in common with The Intouchables, I'm sure this film will not get anything like the critical acclaim (it's not French for a kick off), but I felt a little more comfortable with this version in that it wasn't as self righteous.

More importantly it is the afterthought which makes this film actually quite special, in that it has kicked up a bit of a stir, I won't say why, that can easily be discovered elsewhere, and you may want to watch it first. I enjoyed the film though and I do believe it makes a valid point. Just because something is uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean it is bad - I don't know the answers but it is good to ask the questions.

Oh and as for the Mother of Dragons, I am now thinking that her portrayal was very deliberate, which, if so, renders it brilliant. I mean she has the most important part in the best TV show ever made absolutely nailed, then she does this? I'd like to know what you think. Dig the Coraline look!

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Money Monster
2016 Mark: 8.9
Watched: Tue 31 May 2016

Starring: George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Jack O'Connell, Dominic West
Director: Jodie Foster

I can unreservedly recommend Money Monster. Terrific concept, superbly structured, beautifully balanced tragi-comedy. Along with the ever watchable George Clooney and Juliet Roberts, I really really hope Jack O'Connell gets what he deserves for this, a seat at the Best Supporting Actors' table along with Mark Rylance and JK Simmons. The thing is, it taps into feelings that I genuinely harbour, apart from which it genuinely had be guessing at it's direction. Was that an homage to Trailer Park Boys half way through when Kyle waves his gun through the air and shouts "Fuck Off"? Great film.

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Nice Guys
2016 Mark: 7.8
Watched: Thu 9 June 2016

Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice, Matt Bomer, Margaret Qualley, Keith David, Kim Basinger
Director: Shane Black

Ella said "This is what you go to the movies for" and I could not agree more. Two hours of buddy movie with the right balance of action, plot and comedy. Gosling and Crowe hit it off with some hilarious dialogue; the latter is actually perfect for his part. I am wondering if some of the anachronisms regarding the music were deliberate. IMHO it is an important film in that it is the first film of its kind that I have seen which takes on the car Industry in this way, hinting that many facets of it and America's obsession with it are perhaps not cool

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Now You See Me 2
2016 Mark: 6.6
Watched: Mon 18 July 2016

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Daniel Radcliffe, Lizzy Caplan, Jay Chou, Sanaa Lathan, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman
Director: Jon M. Chu

Stellar cast perform a somewhat eyebrow cocking heist movie. I am vexed by the fact that magical trickery is just not a medium for film. I mean, it would be impressive it were live, but this left me thinking "Oh they've done that in the edit suite". There is also a lot of me thinks that if I were celebrating the launch of a mobile phone or New Year's Eve in London, I would not have quite the level of enthusiam depicted my the thousands of people in the film for my occasions being gatecrashed by some very good club turns.

Whatever, I suppose it'll do if you like Daniel Radcliffe.

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Our Kind Of Traitor
2016 Mark: 7.5
Watched: Wed 18 May 2016

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Naomie Harris, Stellan Skarsgård, Damian Lewis
Director: Susanna White

Good cast, solid story, Stellan Starsgard was excellent, very John le Carré (he was executive producer)

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Ride Along 2
2016 Mark: 7.6
Watched: Wed 3 February 2016

Starring: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Ken Jeong, Benjamin Bratt, Olivia Munn, Bruce McGill, Tika Sumpter
Director: Tim Story

I really jolly film, with everything you'd expect, nothing more, nothing less, good use of Grand Theft Auto (not that I've ever played it), if I told you exactly what happened I wouldn't really be giving anything away. It works, like 21 Jump Street, like 48 Hours, like a million other films

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Star Trek Beyond
2016 Mark: 7.3
Watched: Wed 27 July 2016

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Idris Elba, Sofia Boutella
Director: Justin Lin

On balance definitely a worth sea. I suppose we always want to see First Contact or Into Darkness and that's just not gonna happen, so like good and bad golf shots we should put the other films behind us and judge new ones on their merits (agh, I can't do it with Ghostbusters, which was the equivalent of Jordan Spieth playing the 12th in the fourth round at Augusta in 2016 except with a two put, not a single). So. Simon Pegg is so annoying you put it to bed after a while and realise that this film is more of an homage to the original series, in the context of which - it works. Very precient to see Anton Yelchin being told to put on a red shirt. Not outsanding but still much better than any Independence Day movie.

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Suicide Squad
2016 Mark: 7.7
Watched: Tue 11 October 2016

Starring: Margot Robbie, Will Smith, Jared Leto, Joel Kinnaman, Viola Davis, Jai Courtney, Jay Hernandez, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Ike Barinholtz, Scott Eastwood, Cara Delevingne
Director: David Ayer

Well well well! A very enjoyable fun film, with ticks all round for cast, characters and cinematography. The story was adequate if not a little clichéd, and all told a whole heap better than I was lead to expect. Margo Robbie is going to gain a few place on the FHM list, and Will Smith was ..,. wait for it... really good!!! I love the way the set up was explained to idiots like me first, and what a great way to introduce the franchise. Now they can go to the backstory films, and I can't wait. Props! (whatever that means).

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
2016 Mark: 5
Watched: Thu 9 June 2016

Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett
Director: Dave Green

Stayed for 15 minutes, laughed at the chicken dance, confirmed Megan Fox was skanky, smiled wryly at the humour and realised I was not going to really enrichen my life that much by staying for the duration. Not excruciating, just predictable without putting anything interesting on the table

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Warcraft
2016 Mark: 6.8
Watched: Tue 7 June 2016

Starring: Paula Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper, Toby Kebbell, Ben Schnetzer, Robert Kazinsky
Director: Duncan Jones

I don't think I'd want to watch it at home, but sat with our Graham eating a Subway it definitely had its moments without ever straying from what one would imagine a modern epic fantasy about hoards of Orcs invading a medieval kingdom through a magic portal would be like! OK.

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
2016 Mark: 7.4
Watched: Tue 17 May 2016

Starring: Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Christopher Abbott, Alfred Molina, Billy Bob Thornton
Director: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa

"I think this is actually better than my enjoyment quotient might indicate. I thought it was going to be an out and out comedy, but it provides a thought provoking, yet much lighter insight into Western intervention in the Middle East, a nice contrast to American Sniper, Zero Dark Thirty, Hurt Locker (go Bigelow), etc etc. It'll not top Team America though - Fuck yeah!"

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The Witch
2016 Mark: 6.7
Watched: Wed 16 March 2016

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie
Director: Robert Eggers

Nice, a 'horror' film which doesn't insult the intelligence too much. Some great acting, terrific dialogue, still all bullshit, but with a little bit of gravitas too it. This almost was a 'good film'; I could well understand it being described as such. Lisa Aryn's tits don't get as good roles as Lily James's

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X-Men 09: Apocalypse
2016 Mark: 7.2
Watched: Wed 18 May 2016

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn
Director: Brian Singer

Like London Has Fallen with better special effects. I actually feel like marking it down a bit now, 'cos the story was just an X-Men with more powers and more powerful enemies, but I did enjoy it.

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Zoolander 2
2016 Mark: 7.8
Watched: Thu 3 March 2016

Starring: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penélope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Sting, Christine Taylor, Cyrus Arnold, Kyle Mooney, Beck Bennett, Nathan Lee Graham, Justin Theroux, Milla Jovovich, Jerry Stiller, Katy Perry, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Tommy Hilfiger, Benedict Cumberbatch, Naomi Campbell, Lewis Hamilton, Justin Bieber, Jourdan Dunn, Ariana Grande, Susan Sarandon, John Malkovich, Kiefer Sutherland, Mika, Billy Zane, Joe Jonas, Skrillex, Susan Boyle, ASAP Rocky, MC Hammer, Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, Olivia Munn, Karlie Kloss
Director: Ben Stiller

Thoroughly sit back and just relax, watch the film, enjoy the comedy, add up the cameos, get a Subway. Really if I told you the full story I don't think I'd be giving much away, great value with an Unlimited Card. What a lame summary, but you know what too expect.

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Zootopia aka Zootropolis
2016 Mark: 8.1
Watched: Wed 23 March 2016

Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, J.K. Simmons, Tommy Chong, Octavia Spencer, Jenny Slate, Shakira
Directors: Byron Howard, Rich Moore

Thoroughly delightful film, delivering a reasonably straightforward plot with engaging characters and absolutely breathtaking pictures. Really, I keep saying it about modern animation but this, it is so damn BIG and ARTISTIC, like all the best bits about Tomorrowland and Big Hero Six, without trying to be too clever. And the best line ever, from Idris Elba as the big 'ard chief of police, dressing down Jody and her ambitions to be a cop.

"Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and all your insipid dreams magically come true. So let it go."